Fainted Heart

"Glad you're here, Prianne it's been ages since I saw you. How have you been?" Trisha my friend from high school said with a glass of wine in her hand.

I look at her with an unpleasant smile. I haven't forgotten all the chaos she had done in the past.

"I'm great, it's nice to see you also."

She then hugged me. I then lose my smile. I know she's pretending to be good to me. This is girl is so good at faking.

She let go of the hug and looked at me from head to toe, she sips her wine and nodded while looking into my eyes.

"Nothing changed."She smirked.

I smiled at her and was about to speak but she interrupted.

"Raven!" She shouted from afar.

She walked behind me so I turned around me to see her and I saw her looking at me. When he looked at me teasingly because he knew someone handsome. Hell, I'm not jealous that you have a partner, Trisha.-shut it, Prianne maybe it's just handsome because it's dark.

I maintain my fierce look.

Unwillingly the one named Raven pulled by Trisha closer to me. She freaking smiling at me. Idiot.

I shifted my gaze all over the place and it got darker and the noise got louder. It's the end of the school year so we unwind with my friends here at the club.

"Pria..."

"Don't call me that, we aren't close."I gave her the sweetest smile ever and she knows that's it's fake so, she rolled her eyes and smile.

I may be strong outside but on the inside? No. I'm weak, so weak and naïve.

She acted like she was in pain. One of her hands was wrapped around Raven's arm while the other was on Raven's chest.

"That hurt." And smiled. That's why I hate plastic. "by the way, this is Raven..."

I looked at Raven and simply nodded.

"And, Raven this is Prianne."

He just nodded at me too. This man, his eyes are so captivating.

"Gotta go, Trisha. I need to find my friends."

"But, I'm your friend."

"Says who?" I did not wait for her answer. I left and looked for my friends.

I saw them at the bar counter drinking and the others were already dancing. I'm the only one who hasn't drunk yet.

"Pria, let's get wasted!"

I drink two shots of tequila while listening to my friends talking something about boys.

"Prianne, drink more." I smiled at her. I did not know what's her name, but it is a friend of my friends, I do not want to be rude I took the shot glass in her hand and gulped it down.

"Pria... you should dance you might get bored there." I saw again Trisha standing in front of me.

Napapikit ako ng biglang sumakit ang ulo ko dahil narin siguro sa lights.

"I don't like... dancing. If you'll excuse me." I was about to get up but because of dizziness, I was able to sit back. I may be drunk. Tree shots only, impossible.

"You okay?" Trisha asked with a laugh. I swallowed and ignored her. I got up again and went straight to the comfort room.

"Be careful there, Pria ... maybe someone is there for you," Trisha said after me.

Also, because I was in a hurry, I had a collision with a man.

"S-sorry..." I was about to pass this man whom I did not know but he pulled my wrist.

"Let go." I was surprised at what he did. I pulled my wrist against his hand but he would not let go. He just smiled at me.

My breathing is not normal. I was breathing fast and I was also sweating. What is happening to me? My body is ... burning.

"Let's go somewhere else, Trisha was right you were beautiful and sexy." He looked at me from head to toe. I frowned. What?

"Excuse me? What the hell are doing, let me fucking go!"

He stopped listening to me because he was now dragging me. I was nervous about what I was thinking.

What did Trisha say to him? No! That woman is really shameless!

We were close to the exit when someone stopped us and saw Raven.

"Man, get out of the way... were going out."The man said calmly.

"Let go of her."

The man looked at me back at Raven."Why? Were going out together-"

I pulled my hand into the man's hand and quickly went to Raven's side. I'm scared. It scared me. I don't even know Raven but I think he's different from this guy here.

This time I'm burning. I want to go home! And... and... why am I fucking wet down there. My breathing is hard.

"Prianne, you told me to take you home, right?

I was shocked by what he said and he even knew my name. I'm surprised that he didn't forget my name.

" I don't even know you! "

The creepy guy looked at Raven and suddenly turned to leave. What was that?

I almost fell thank god that Raven held me by the arm.

"You okay?"

The sensation of his hands on my skin is making me go wild. I don't know what's happening to me but for theirs something to that drink.

I'm no bobo!

I swallowed my saliva cut my stares at him. I want to take off my clothes now, it's so freaking hot.

"Y-yeah."

"You wanna go home, I'll take you home."

The way his calm serious voice escapes from his mouth is so sexy. His lips, his lips are so kissable. I want to taste it.

Oh my god, what's wrong with my mind! What's wrong with my body. I'm craving, I'm horny... I know!

" I can go home by myself. "I told him and he let go of me." Thanks. "

" You sure? Theirs a lot of ass-hole on the way... "

I stared at him and was suddenly nervous. For the ninth time, I swallowed my saliva and breath deeply.

" Let's go, I'll take you home. "He left first so I don't have a choice so, I followed him.

I think he is a good person. A good guy rather.

I was already in his car and because of the heat, I felt I took off my jacket only the black tube was left. I don't mind Raven from the side but hell I can't really control this one. What the hell really happening to me?!

I am no longer myself.

"Put your jacket back. It's so cold." He said while looking at the road. I did not follow him because I could no longer control it.

I'm thinking about masturbating because maybe it can help me lessen the hotness of my body.

But, no. I don't like that idea.

I sent Raven to my condo because I could not go home looking like this. Raven accompanied me to my condo room. As I slide my card through the door I can no longer cope.

"I'm sorry."

I saw the shock in his eyes at what I said. I think I really need to use him. I'm a virgin but this time, I want him ... the feeling of him inside me feels so good in my imagination.

"Why-" I didn't finish talking to him because I kissed him quickly until our kiss deepened.

We entered my condo and closed it while we were still kissing. He takes off his shirt.

"Don't stop." I moan when he kissed my neck.

"You drink it." His husky voice makes me want him more.

"What drink?" I asked as I moan.

He did not answer me until I no longer knew what was happening between the two of us.

The next day, I woke up and I saw Raven sleeping peacefully, My brows arched because my head ached.

In a few minutes, I was able to think clearly until I found myself without clothes under this blanket.

I even saw a red stain under this blanket.

Shit! What have I done!

I was nervous because I did not know what to do! What happened last night? Why is Raven here !? I just stood up and quickly got dressed to leave. I need to go home. Shit! This is a freaking mistake!

This is my condo but I can't stand Raven. This is all my fault! My down there is sore. It hurt but I want to go home.

I'm crying because of what happened! That sinful night won't happen again!

SINFUL!

A month after that incident I never saw that Raven guy. I don't know what he is doing right now. But, I had still thought about him. His face can't get out of my mind.

Losing my virginity with an unknown guy is really indecent.

"Pria wanna drink tonight at my house. There's a party happening at 8 pm, you come hah." Venice my college friend said with a smile while eating Toblerone.

I bit my lower lip and shook my head slowly. "Oh, no baby... this past few days I'm not really feeling well, I can't drink this time."

She pouted. "So, you can't come tonight to my place? Sian will be there."

I drink my choco-latte while looking at her. "I can't come. I'm not friend with Sian." I laughed at my last sentence.

Sian is Venice's playboy boyfriend and I don't like that guy. He's cheap! And, it felt like he is hitting on me when Venice walk away.

That guy was probably not my type.

"Yeah, I forgot that you are not friended with my BOYFRIEND but, Pria... come on. What's your sickness?"

I shrug. "I don't know... I just don't feel like partying... and." I stopped.

Last day I'm vomiting and also it was supposed to be my period last week but there's no period came.

I'm nervous about the part that I'm pregnant-no way It can't be. I can't be pregnant for goodness sake! That night was a freaking mistake.

She frowned. "What?" She has the face of curiosity.

I pursed my lips. "Remember what I told you last month?" I nervously said.

Her eyes narrowed as she looked at me. "Uh-huh? The one-night stand thingy with 'I don't know the name because you didn't tell me naman.' So, what about that?" She said artfully.

"I think I'm pregnant."

Her mouth drop open and shock all over her face. I swallowed hard as my hands started shaking because I really think that I'm pregnant I just don't want to accept it.

I'm only 19! I'm still studying. I can't be pregnant at this age. No!

" Hey, Venice..." I tap her hand that is on the table.

"W-what? You did not use a fucking protection that night, Prianne!?" She said shocked.

I don't remember. Maybe no! Raven did not use protection that night! This is his baby!

I shake my head as an answer to her question.

" Are you sure that you're pregnant? Do you have a test that you're positive pregnant?"

I shake my head again and bit my lips. I'm scared.

"But, as I research the symptoms that I had were positive that I'm pregnant...I don't want this." I'm starting to cry now but I can't just get this baby out. I'm not like that.

I'm not a murderer.

"Prianne... let's buy PT to make sure that you really are pregnant."

She pulled me out of the Starbucks and got in her car to the pharmacy.

"I can't be pregnant, right?" I asked her.

"Why are you asking me that?" I can also feel the nervousness in her voice.

"Here, take these two PT. You can do it, Prianne. I'm just here."

I took the PT in her hand and slowly entered the comfort room. My heart is beating too fast. I'm scared. I was too young to be a mother.

I got out of the comfort room carrying my PT urination, I put it on the table to wait for the result. I leaned over Venice in bed while waiting for the result of the two PTs.

"If ever that I'm pregnant please don't tell anyone about this."

"Your mom?"

"I'll tell her myself."

"What about the father of that child, if ever? Would you contact him?"

I stay silent and didn't answer her. Venice stands up and gets the PT on the table where I put it earlier.

My heartbeat was beating so fast. I saw Venice's face when she looks at the two PTs and that I get an answer.

She slowly showed me the result.

It's Positive.

My mind went blank as I look at the two lines in the Pregnancy test.

"Venice..." I can't hold my tears now. My tears started flowing down. This isn't right. It can't be!

Venice hug me. "Don't cry, Pria... it's okay, everything will be alright. No one will no, I promise."

"I don't want to raise my child without a daddy, Venice. I don't want her/him to be insecure because she/he has no father. I don't like that."

I felt her nodding. "Don't worry about that... Stop crying it's not good for your baby."

"I'll tell mom, tonight."

This news is not good or bad for me. They call this a blessing but for me not, this is not a blessing. I'm still 19. I still have my dreams.

I will raise this child with or without a father. I can't contact Raven because I don't know where he is and I don't have time to find him to tell him that I'm pregnant.

I want to be a model when I finish school but with this baby inside me, I don't know what to do. I can still be a model when this baby is born. I will go for my dream.

Going home, I saw my mom on the sofa with her laptop and papers and some designs printed on the bond paper.

"Hi, mom."

She looks at me and smiled. "Hi, baby. How's school? Why are you late?"

I leaned over her on the sofa and suddenly hugged her. "Ma!" I started crying again.

"Why are you crying?" She said confused.

My mom was always busy at work. We have companies all over Asia. She's the closest of mine while my father is not.

I don't know what to say to her so I just say the point.

"I'm pregnant, Mom... I'm sorry, I didn't mean to do this. Mommy." I cried.

My mother was silent for a few minutes so I let go of the hug. She's also shocked.

"Oh My God, Pria!"

I looked at her while tears keep flowing down. "I'm sorry."

I saw no emotion in mommy's eyes. And, minutes after she hugged me.

"Mommy, help me, please. I can't be pregnant at this age."

She stroked my hair. "No, Pria... You need to be strong okay? Don't think negatively... I will help you but not in the wrong way."

"Mommy." I cried hard.

Looking at the ceiling while lying in bed and rubbing my stomach. I breathe in as tears flow down. I always wondered if I would look for Raven to tell him I was pregnant but there was also a part of me that was afraid he might not believe me.

My heart aches so much because I never thought this would happen to me. I still have dreams I want to fulfill but it doesn't seem like it now.

Mommy said earlier that she will accompany me to the gynecologist tomorrow. For now, I just want to sleep, because every time I think I am pregnant I also think of the dreams I lost because of this.

I am at fault the baby is out of this problem. It has come so maybe I should just accept it.

My main problem is that I want my child to have no father because I know the feeling of not growing up with the father I do not want that to happen to my child.

I will tell Raven if he doesn't believe me then don't, I will not force him.

Woking up in the morning with a cramp is not a good start for me. I rushed to the bathroom to pee. Is this some kind of morning sickness, like vomiting water?

I don't understand what I'm feeling right now but I'm not comfortable with this sickness. I sat on the sofa for a while and got up just to take a bath.

"Mommy, I think we need to skip going to ob-gyn because I'm not really feeling well, I think any minute now I'm gonna throw up and I'm also feeling nausea," I said to her while eating breakfast.

She looked at my concern. "Okay okay... take a rest here, Pria. If you need anything call me, okay?" She said.

I nodded and drink the milk mommy prepared. She's going to the company because of duty calls. Venice will supposedly accompany me to ob-gyn but I can't go there now.

"Any minute now, Venice will be here," Mommy said.

"Yeah, I need someone to talk."

She nodded and get up. "I need to go darling... take care here, alright? Call me if you need anything." She kissed my checks and stroke my hair for a moment before she goes.

"Prianne." I heard Venice's voice echoed in the living room.

I continue eating until I saw her face in front of me. She sat on the side and started taking food.

"Did you come here without eating? "

She shrugged and eat the meatloaf. "I'm done eating but I was hungry so I ate. "

"I will not be going to the ob-gyn for now. I'm not really feeling well going out today." I explain to her and she nodded while eating.

She looks at me with her serious eyes. "So, what's your plan? Will you tell that man that he is the father of that? "She looked at me.

"Maybe... I just need to find him."

She frowned. "Find him?" She asked to like something funny.

I slowly bit my lower lips and nodded while looking at her. "I need to try to tell him, right?"

She nodded. "Don't worry I will be by your side."

"Thanks."

We are now in the living room and watching a movie on Netflix. The movie's so great and lovely. The main characters are dashing.

"Do you find him?" Venice asked.

"Not, yet. I'm still waiting for Ruiz's reply. "

Her brows became a line. "Ruiz? Who's that?"

Venice became my friend when I was in my first year of high school and I know she knew very little about me. Maybe, it's time for her to know I have a brother. It's so unfair that I know her very well but she doesn't know me very much.

No one knows if I have a brother. Because Ruiz wants him to look mysterious. He is weird, I know.

"Investigator... my older brother."

Her eyebrows met and her eyes glanced at me. "You have a brother?" She laughed a bit. "You investigate?"

"Uh-huh," I replied with confusion.

Wait, Why am I the one confused? I don't know.

"Where's your brother?" She asked again.

I nodded. "Somewhere."

"Tell me..."

"Why are you asking? I don't know where he at."

I really don't know where he at this time but last month he told mom that he was in California.

"Why do you not know where he is?"

I shifted my gaze to the tv. Oh, it's a bed scene. I felt uncomfortable this time because my mind went back to the past where Raven and I do something.

"I don't know, Venice."

"I want to meet your brother. What he look like?"

This time my confusion while looking at her is making me sick. I was about to talk but I suddenly puke.

I ran to the bathroom and vomited in the bowl. I inhale and wipe the tears that came out of my eyes while puking.

" You good? " Venice gave me a towel and I took it and wiped it with my mouth.

I also got up from sitting on the floor. "My stomach is not feeling well..."

"That's part of the pregnancy so... you experience that kind of sickness."

Suddenly, my phone ring. I left that on the table. Venice and I hurried to the living room.

Venice came first and handed me the cellphone. She looked at the screen and raised at the brow." Investigator. Really? "She said.

I shrug and answered the call." Hey, preggy.. "

" Don't call me that,... how did you know? "

"Mama told me."

What else did they talk about? I wonder.

"So, any info?"

I heard him chuckle. "Sista' you caught a big fucking fish."

I sat on the sofa. "Brother... I don't know what you're saying."

That's really how he speaks. You need to think about what he really meant by that... I'm not used to talking to him because my head will get hurt because of his freaking logic and I don't need that now.

"Mr. Raven Fuentes. He is a CEO at Crystalline Empire. He is 21 and single."

I could not answer Ruiz. A CEO? 21 years old and a CEO? He is rich. But, that day... he doesn't have the CEO vibe, he has the campus bad boy vibe.

"Send me all the information, brother," I told him and ended the call.

"Venice... the father of my child is a freaking CEO and 21 years old." I can't believe it.

I'm hesitating to tell that CEO that he's the father. Now, that I found out who he really is I'm kinda hesitating to tell him.

I'm scared.

"Youngest CEO. That's great." She was not even shocked. She even seemed excited about what I said.

"Let's go find him."