FIRE AND SILK

I can't believe I came back" I whispered to myself. The evening breeze of Beijing hit my face as stood by the cafe window peeking at Clay Wuyan who was seated in the corner.

When I arrived in Beijing this afternoon, I never expected to see him here. This was our special cafe, and the memories had pushed me to come over and have a meal. To my surprise, the object of my affection and desires was here already. Engrossed in his cell phone he with an adorable look that I had never seen.

What the fuck should I do?" I whispered as I ran my hands through my hair. For the past three years, I had lived my life as a cold-blooded ruthless Mafia but here I was hesitating.

I huffed, threw caution to the wind, and walked into the cafe. He immediately lifted his head and his eyes widened when they landed on me. He stood up and his eyes sparkled with a glint of happiness. I felt my heartbeat race as my body vibrated. Clay Wuyan opened his mouth, but no words came out.

My mind raced as the words in my brain echoed.

Every day, Yearning asks me,

That sense of warmth Which I forgot Years ago,

O wandering soul Make me yours Just for once,

ust for once Make me your own.

These words, embedded deep in my heart rang out so loud that I gasped for breath. I thought this was going to be easy but being here, my heart ached all over again. I turned around and walked out of the cafe. I knew that there was no place in the world that I could run to since my heart belonged to Clay Wuyan.

Four years ago, I escaped knowing well that I was being a coward. Clay Wuyan had the power to make his soul feel alive and every cell of his body burn. My feet slowed down when I reached a silent ally. Out of breath, I stopped and leaned back on the wall gazing at the wide sky above.

"If the Mafia knew that I could run away from someone" I muttered in a huff. I knew that by running away again, it was inevitable to create a deeper misunderstanding between us.

My body calmed down as I gazed at the Beijing night sky. I had missed this view and had immediately rushed back to Beijing to protect Clay Wuyan. Hiding behind this reason, I knew that my heart had other plans. Clay Wuyan was my everything. I closed my eyes and visions of him came rushing back.

Him. His visions, his memories, his smile.

Lost in thought the numbness in my right leg made me snapped me out of it. Sighing to myself, I turned to leave and found Clay Wuyan standing in distance watching me. All the calmness and strength I had gathered vanished. I was surprised that he had followed me. Time seemed to stand still as I watched the angry expression on Clay Wuyan"s face. Ignoring his defiant stance, I walked over and stood in front of him.

I was about to speak when he asked, "You are back?" The slight crook in his voice sounded like he had struggled to speak.

"Yes," I responded. "I arrived this afternoon."

Clay Wuyan nodded. He then turned around and stated coldly, "The alleys are too cold and not safe at this time of the night. Let's go home".

I followed him in silence as we walked back to the cafe. I knew that Clay Wuyan would not forgive me easily but that did not matter. For now. The important thing was to protect him from the Mafia.

"Where did you park your car? "Clay Wuyan asked interrupting my thoughts.

"At the basement of the building. "I responded quietly.

"Okay then, let's meet at the condo, my car is parked near the cafe too. "Clay Wuyan stated. He walked into the Cafe, while I was left standing at the entrance. I knew that things between us would get difficult, but I was ready to face them. The big question would be, was Clay Wuyan ready to listen?

Speeding through the highway, I admired how the city had changed. I called my head of security and commanded "Keep your distance for now. Find a hotel near the condo and keep a low profile. I don't want to spook him."

Half an hour later I arrived at the condo and found Clay Wuyan parking his red convertible. Since when had his taste changed to this flashy car? I got out of the car, and I knew he could tell by the way I stared at the car I had questions.

"I bought it six months ago, at first it was a whim, but now I love it" He laughed. His laughter was a surprise and it vibrated through my body like an electric current.

"Did someone recommend it to you?" I asked.

"Yes," Clay Wuyan nodded but did not go deeper into the details. The action made me angry and sad at the same time. I had no rights to clay but I wanted everything he had to be connected to me. Yes. I was selfish and possessive.

Going up the elevator we arrived at the condo. Upon entering, Clay Wuyan switched on the lights and walked straight to the open kitchen space. I stood numbly in the living room paying attention to every single action that Clay Wuyan did. I craved the look on his face, but it required courage. A few minutes later, Clay Wuyan walked out back to the room.

His beautiful face shone in the bright light, his dimples gracing his beauty, his hair laying care-freely on his cheeks, the mole on his lips, his bright smile increasing the beauty of his surroundings. Clay Wuyan was simply, breathtaking.

He had always been able to heal my heart. Since childhood when first laid my eyes on him after coming back from the military, he was running in the wet corridor, jumping and laughing, the whole air danced when he smiled. His voice had a charm, and his suppressed laughter always made me feel happy. That beautiful moment was my downfall and my future.

Standing in front of him, full of remorse knowing that I couldn't hear it anymore since I had shattered both of us.

"I believe my room is still the same," I asked.

Clay Wuyan nodded. "Yes. The cleaning lady comes once a week. It"s as clean as you left it."

"You updated the condo. The seats a new right?" I was making conversation.

He nodded, "I am going to bed now. There is a sandwich in the fridge if you are hungry" He left me standing and walked into his room. Had he just dismissed me? I expected nothing less after being away for four years. I deserved this kind of treatment for being a bastard.

I slowly walked into my old room. My legs finally gave in, and I slipped down on the floor in anguish. Minutes turned into seconds and then hours. The darkness in the room was growing thicker and thicker. I stared at the ceiling blankly and he closed his eyes almost painfully. How did my life end up in this mess?

For the first time in four years, I felt at home. Being in the same space as Clay Wuyan had this kind of feeling. Taking out my phone I called my assistant Ram Su Cheng.

The phone rang once and "Yes sir" came the response at the other end of the phone.

"What is the update? Has that bastard Zira Zhen made any movement?" I asked.

"No Sir, everything is the same. It's too quiet. Zira Zhen has been inside his villa since yesterday. No one knows you are in Beijing unless he is already watching Clay Wuyan's condo sir. I would advise you to stay clear of the condo for now" Ram responded.

I cursed and said "That is going to be a little bit hard since am already back in the condo."

I knew the moment Ram must have been cursing. I had exposed myself without consulting with him. "Keep me updated" I ended the call with the last command.

Sighing I walked over to the bed and lay down. Clay Wuyan was the only one able to make him feel at peace. But it had been too difficult. To love a person whom, he couldn't touch and let them see what you felt for them. I closed my eyes and shut the world away.

If Clay Wuyan knew what I had been up to for the past four years, he would not approve. I curled myself on the bed, closed my eyes and sleep took over.

Into the hours of the night, my phone buzzed and startled me from my sleep. It was a message from Ram" Sir, Clay Wuyan is engaged to Kate Meifeng. She is a billionaire fashion designer who inherited the business from her grandfather. They have been dating for a year "

"Shit"

After reading the message over and over, sleep eluded me. I got out of bed and walked out of the room. My feet slowly reached Clay Wuyan's room and I stood there listening in. No sound came from the other side, and I assumed that he was asleep.

I walked over to the fridge and took out two cans of beer and then rushed back to his room. Standby the large condo windows as he stared into the night deep in thought.

My thoughts took him back to four years ago when I had noticed the change in Clay Wuyan after they had moved into the condo. He kept ignoring me and this irritated me day by day. Being pushed into a corner a week later, I arrived home earlier to wait for Clay Wuyan and end this madness. But when Clay Wuyan arrived, he ignored me, again and entered his room. No Matter how much I yelled and called Clay Wuyan banging on his bedroom door, he did not respond.

I remembered staying up all night, trying to figure out what wrong I had done to make Clay Wuyan this angry. I had even promised that if I found out what it was, I would apologize and make amendments never to repeat the same mistake. Fear raced in his lonely heart. He knew Clay Wuyan would hate it more if he discovered the feelings he kept hidden for years. The next day, when I returned from an evening walk, I found Clay Wuyan had made dinner.

"Gege, I made dinner" Clay Wuyan stated.

"I see" I responded as I walked over to wash his hands.

They sat down and he served his plate. They ate in silence and then Clay Wuyan stood up and picked the plates and cleared the table. I remained seated as I slowly sipped wine. A few minutes later, Clay Wuyan sat down, picked up his wine glass, sipping it slowly.

Liam Wu stared at him and then stated " There is something that I have been meaning to tell you"

I nodded in encouragement. Finally, Clay Wuyan would tell him what was bothering him. "I have been waiting for you to come back to your senses. Why have you been avoiding me?"

He stood up and walked over to where I was seated and then lowered his head and kissed him. To say I was shocked was the least of my concern. My body trembled and my cock hardened. I had never felt such an ache and burning.

I stood up and yelled at Clay Wuyan "What the fuck do you think you are doing?" The truth was that I was angry. Angry at having such a reaction.

Clay Wuyan had breathed heavily and then the words came out "Gege, we are not blood brothers. I already saw the adoption documents when papa and mama passed away. "

My eyes widened. I had never seen Clay Wuyan like this. Staring at him, I noticed the change in expression, the way his eyes lingered on my lips, the passion and fire in them took my breath away for a second.

I averted my gaze and gulped down all the wine in his glass. His eyes looked everywhere but where Clay Wuyan was standing panting. His breath hitched and he felt like he was being suffocated.

"Didi, are you in your senses? "I laughed awkwardly using Clay Wuyan's childhood nickname.

"I am not crazy Gege. And you know it" Clay pressed on.

My body burned and the way Clay Wuyan was looking at him, he knew that this was the bare truth. Of course, I knew he was adopted. Papa and Mama told me the news when he was ten years old, and mama became pregnant with Clay Wuyan. But how could I betray them by having such desires?

"Regardless of that fact, our parents raised us. What the hell is wrong with you?" The words were harsh. Clay Wuyan looked away. Hiding the hurt look in his eyes.

I walked to the room and packed a few clothes. I needed to be far away from Clay Wuyan for now.

"I will be gone for a few days. When I come back I hope you will be back into your senses Didi" I stated as I left the condo.

I got into my car and drove into the highway for hours until I entered the road to Wuhan. I got off the car and stood staring at the night sky. I was running, away from Clay and the hidden desires of my heart. Huffing and puffing I got back into the car and kept on driving until he reached a narrow bridge and saw a man lying on the side of the road. A few meters ahead lay, a car had overturned and by the smell of the scene, fuel was leaking from the car.

I stopped the car, rushed out, and got as he called 911. The ambulance arrived and I followed them to the hospital as the man got admitted. My sixth sense told him that, it wasn't a normal accident. Leaving my contacts at the hospital just in case the police needed further information, I drove to the city of Wuhan.

Checking into a hotel, I showered and drank myself to sleep. Day after another, I drank myself to sleep while fighting the urge to go back. One week later, after an evening walk, I walked back to the hotel and found the man I had saved waiting for me at the reception area.

Walking over I bowed to him in respect " Sir, I hope you are feeling better."

"Child, thank you for saving my life. What is your name?" He stated.

"Liam Wu," I responded kindly.

"My name is Selkath Shi" his voice was as commanding as his demeanor.

I had heard the name before. This was the Mafia boss at Wuhan City. I remember hearing the tales of how frightening this Mafia Boss was and the gory stories of his killings by him. He was feared and no one messed with him.

He had smiled at Liam Wu's reaction. "You seem to have heard about me. Your reaction tells it all. I am not here to kill you, don't you worry.

Smiling awkwardly, I responded, "Yes sir". I wondered who was bold enough to try and kill him. Of course, the car accident must have been planned.

"I did a background check on you. I know that you are a hard worker and am so sorry for the loss of your parents. Since you saved my life, I would like to express my gratitude by offering you a job. You will be trained and paid well. "

I had nothing to lose. This offer came in handy. I would immerse myself in work and forget about Clay Wuyan. I thought maybe fate wanted to give him a chance, a chance after throwing me into the pit. Maybe that was the only path written for me.

"You don't have to give me an answer now. Take time to think about it. I am offering you this position because I believe you are trustworthy. You would have left me for dead but went the extra mile. "Selkath Shu added.

"Thank you, Sir. I accept the offer. "I quickly answered.

The truth was I was desperate to escape that pain, to escape Clay Wuyan's memories that I took that life-changing decision without caring about shit. Who cares if I chose something dangerous? Who cares even if I died, death would be a better option than living in this never-ending torture.

The Mafia Boss had then told him "Go upstairs and pack your bags. You shall be staying in my Villa."

I responded hurriedly "Okay Sir."

Finally! A good new life. I disposed of my phone sim card knowing it was the only thing that would connect me to Clay Wuyan. Little did I know that escape could never be a cure for love, running away could never extinguish the fire of longing. I trained hard and worked diligently. I soon became Selkath new favorite.

I went back to school and did crash courses about running a business. I slept only for four hours a day and it became a habit. Everyone raised eyebrows at how much Selkath put in the effort to push me into leadership. In my head, all I wanted was to keep busy.

One night, during a late drinking spree, I bared my soul to Selkath Su. I had left the only man I ever loved behind because of guilt and duty. In his words, he slowly comforted me "Love, is Love Liam. You can't run forever" His words rang true.

Fate, on the other hand, had its plans. Injuries from the accident made his health deteriorate and he passed away after heart failure. In his will, he had left all the wealth and Mafia leadership to me. The announcement caused a stir in the Mafia, and I knew the decision did not go down well with Zira Zhen.

"Selkath Su, why did you have to die? You were like a father to me. Losing you shattered my heart. I never wanted to be the Mafia Leader, but how can I let you down?" I whispered into the night.

Zira Zhen was the protege of Mafia Boss Selkath Shu. Everyone expected him to be the next mafia boss, but Selkath Shu had other plans. I knew that my new life would endanger Clay Wuyan. I would have stayed away but knowing how crazy Zira Zhen was, it was inevitable that he would cause trouble.

Would Clay accept his new life? Would he look at me with a different eye? I had soiled my hands with blood. Being trained, I had taken out the Mafia enemies for the past three years. And now he had brought danger to Clay Wuyan's doorstep. But he knew this was the only way he would protect him was by being near him. Coming back to Beijing, I was risking both the business and Clay Wuyan.

"Clay Wuyan, I hope you will forgive me. I had no other choice. "

Walking back to the bed to the bed I closed my eyes and tried to catch sleep. Fatigue finally took over after tossing and turning for hours and I slept soundly.