Jasmine.
I had 'friends' who thought that the best way to let go after having a shitty weekend spent on a vacation with your mom, her husband and his successful daughter and then coming back home to find out your boyfriend was cheating on you was going to a club.
"To be fair, you knew he wasn't faithful from the beginning," Jane shouted over the sound of the music while she swayed her hips around.
"That doesn't mean I want to walk in on him, butt naked and thrusting into my neighbor's ass" I replied straining my voice so I could be heard. I wasn't dancing on the dance floor, that was for sure but I knew I was doing something.
Rachel was the real dancer amongst the three of us. She expertly moved her waist and hips to the rhythm of the song and danced away from anyone that tried to join in.
"That's such an explicit description, Steven is gross," Rachel laughed out loud after she said that, she was overcome with joy at this very moment.
"Anal is one of the best, my baby can stick it there all day long," Jane smacked her ass after saying that which made us all laugh or in my case, the corner of my lips rose up to show a little smile.
"Do you know what you should do, J?" Jane asked after a while.
"What?" I asked.
I was still wriggling my hips at this moment, thinking I was dancing but one can only do embarrassing things for a short while. This wasn't my scene, I couldn't even believe they had successfully dragged me here this night.
"What?" I asked again, louder this time so she could hear me.
Jane giggled, "You don't need to be so serious Jasmine, relax, feel the flow of the music and just find your rhythm," She giggled again at the end, it was almost like she couldn't stop giggling.
I turned to Rachel and raised an eyebrow in question.
"Such a lightweight," Rachel groaned. She stopped dancing and watched Jane jiggle like someone on drugs, "She takes too much everytime even though she knows better and tomorrow, she'll have the shittiest hangover and I would have to take care of her."
This was the first time I went clubbing with them, I didn't know their antics and so I was confused when Jane started running and Rachel had to catch her.
"Damn it," She whispered under her breath before she began the run and dance movement to get Jane.
Whatever they were doing wasn't really my style so I turned the other way. To get another drink.
"A gin martini and a virgin margarita please," I told the bartender the moment my ass touched one of the stool.
Memories from the weekend with family kept flashing behind my eyes anytime I blinked. Mom's disappointment was at the forefront, glaring at me.
****
"I had such hopes for you Jasmine, you could have read law and be a successful lawyer like me or at least pursue your dreams to your highest capacity, why did you stop at being an assistant to some dude working a small freelance writing house," She had said the moment she laid her eyes on me. No hello, no how are you doing daughter, just rolled out the disappointment.
"Good day to you too mom," I tried joking to ease the tension that would have suffocated everyone.
Charles, my stepfather pretended to be working on his laptop. The tool couldn't even stop pretending for a few minutes to say hello to me.
Charles was the man my mother got married to few months after my dad died when I was ten. I resented him and told him everytime I got the chance.
His daughter used to be my best friend though. We did everything together and now, I couldn't care less about her.
"Hey Jasmine," She greeted from the kitchen, she wore a chef's apron and was probably cooking.
Constantly being compared to her had been the highlight of my life. I hated it.
"Hey Amanda, how's the baby?" I asked.
She shrugged, "He's fine, he's going to be with his dad this weekend so we can catch up," She said.
The lie came out of her mouth so seamlessly, following my mom's footsteps must have taught her well. The only person she might catch up with is my mother, not me.
***
"I'm going to take Jane home," Rachel appeared by my side suddenly which made me jump.
"She's in the car."
I nodded, "I'll see you guys at work tomorrow then," I told her.
Rachel bit her lips, "Would you be okay being here alone, you can just come with us and we'll have one giant sleepover in my house. There's room," She tried to explain but I had to step in.
"Don't worry Rachel, I'll be okay."
She didn't look like she was convinced but perhaps she was too tired to pursue the conversation any longer. She waved me bye and walked away.
I wondered what Jane had wanted to say to me on the dancefloor. Those words were probably lost now because she wouldn't remember a lot after the state she found herself.
Finally my drinks arrived. I took the gin martini first, half of the glass. Then another half of the glass of the margarita, sweet.
"Are you planning on going home drunk, especially when you don't have anyone to go with?" Someone said, his voice seemed to suck the air out of the room because I was pretty sure I knew who was talking.
Surely I was imagining things.
"And who told you I have no one?" This time all I took was a sip from the gin.
It warmed my body up.
"Well I just overheard your friend tell you they were leaving and you should come with them to which you refused," Was his reply. He had not turned around yet and so I couldn't see his face but I was so convinced I knew the voice now.
He had to be him.
"Didn't your mom tell you it's rude to eavesdrop in someone else's conversation?" I asked, mainly out of spite than anything else.
The movement was so sudden that if I wasn't watching, I would have been convinced it didn't happen. The small flinch he made at the mention of his mother.
Perhaps he was the one.
"And didn't she also tell you it's rude to hide your face from someone you're talking to," I tsked at him and shook my head, couldn't believe how fun it was to tease a stranger that might not be a stranger.
"The young lady wants to see my face, well I shouldn't fail to oblige then," He chuckled at his own words as he turned around so I could look at him.
He wasn't the one.
"Oh I'm sorry, I thought you were someone else," I hoped the disappointment in my voice was not very evident as I packed up my bag so I could leave.
"My dear," The guy tried to call after me and this time I could hear him clearly, he didn't sound like him anymore.
What was wrong with me?
Why did I think that was him anyway?
I rushed outside for some fresh air before I called a Uber. The only thing I needed now was my bed and sleep.
The day was a total burst anyway.
******
The next day was even more horrible. I had unintentionally spoilt the advertisement for a new customer's brand, adding colours that weren't supposed to be on the logo and going off script in a wrong manner.
My boss was livid to say the least.
"That was the best customer yet, she would have been the one to spread the word about our company and our saving grace," He shouted while pacing from the left to the right in his small office.
He really shouldn't do that. He already looked quite red in the face.
"I'm sorry but I always go off script sometimes, I didn't know this time would end badly," I tried to apologize, my mom's words kept on playing on repeat in my head.
"Well your off script ideas are terrible and I'm sorry no one told you about that," He was still pacing, "I should have double checked before we allowed you launch it on our social media platform."
Cue eyeroll, "You can just call it Instagram," I muttered under my breath but he heard.
"That's the last of it, I can't handle you anymore Jasmine."
Wait, I didn't understand what was happening.
"What?" I gasped out, it couldn't mean what I thought it meant right.
"I'll work on the project again, I'll make it better. Just call her......"
"Don't start saying gibberish Jasmine," My boss interrupted me, "I should have done this the moment she called me and told me, she even paid a lot of money for it but I said no, you were still a young girl with a lot to learn..."
She. Mom.
My boss seemed to be talking loudly to himself, like he had forgotten I was even here. I cleared my throat to reintroduce my presence.
"I'm sorry Jasmine but we have to let you go," He concluded, "Don't feel bad, we have to let everyone go eventually. The business is going bankrupt anyway."
Everyone but you started with me.
"Who told you to get rid of me?" I asked, I wasn't leaving here without knowing. Mom wouldn't be so callous, would she?
I knew she didn't like my job but she would let me be.
My boss looked conflicted, like he didn't want to divulge the information out but one look at my face and he started talking.
"I believe she called herself Amanda, Amanda Castor. Your elder sister," He said tired, slumping on his chair like those words had taken everything from him.
"She meant...."
There was no way Amanda would do something like this. She wasn't that cruel.
Or was she and I just didn't know?
Jasmine.
I didn't want to go back.
If I was strong enough, I would have gone on a hitch hike to England and hide away from the world. If I was Alexander.
The snide remarks, the indifference, the comparison between Amanda and I, and the choking loneliness I had felt when I was there.
Jane and Rachel kept texting me, asking what happened and why I left suddenly. They were the only true acquaintances I had made during my time in that city and here I was, leaving them behind without an explanation.
But how do I tell them my stepsister was behind the reason of my displacement?
I sighed softly at my loss.
The Castor Mansion wasn't really big on the outside, it had a humble appearance and often made people think my stepfather was a humble man. The inside, the one where no one from outside the family was allowed to see told a whole different story.
The gardener, a man I had grown up with was the first person to see me when I drove in.
"Back so soon?" He asked the moment I came down from the car as he helped me carry my bags out.
"Did you miss me so much you couldn't resist coming back?" He teased, swatting me playfully on the head.
"I was fired from my job," I said plainly, there was no need to lie to Gardener Jared, he could always read me like an open book.
"Why?"
"Amanda happened and a major mishap at work convinced the owner to finally let me go so here I am, ready to confront her," I told him, I was clearly exhausted at this moment and all the energy I had conserved for when I saw Amanda was depleting.
Gardener Jared sighed, he looked a bit disturbed but I knew he would try to sound upbeat because of me.
"I can't tell you what to do because I would be lying to myself, I'm mad for you and I know you don't deserve such things," He patted me on the back, his facial expressions telling me everything he couldn't say.
He wasn't a man of many words.
Gardener Jared was the one I cried to whenever Alexander or Amanda did something to me and my mom refused to look my way. I couldn't go to Charles because I hated him.
Fourteen years ago, he could read me like a book. He didn't have kids but he had a wife whom he loved dearly, she died five years later during childbirth.
Jared had continued to treat me like a daughter. He resembled my dad in some ways and made me miss him more whenever I remembered he wasn't the one.
"Are they inside?" I asked the dreaded question.
Jared looked at me then raised his head upwards but he didn't say anything. I followed the direction of his eyes and turned around to meet the eyes of Charles.
He didn't look happy.
"I wasn't expecting to see you today Jasmine, this is a pleasant surprise," Charles said yet his tone of voice suggested that me being here wasn't in any way pleasant.
He probably brought one of his mistresses over.
I forced out a fake smile to mirror his, "It shouldn't be a surprise because I'm sure you're well aware your daughter made me lose my job," I said indifferently.
Charles rolled his eyes, "That job wasn't beneficial to you or this family in any way dear, don't act like we just didn't do a huge favour for you," He snapped at me, rolled his eyes and walked away from the garden.
I pretended not to see a flash of red hair duck into the house.
"He brings that one home alot, your mother pretends not to notice them," Jared said.
I almost jumped out of my skin, I had forgotten he was here and got scared shitless.
"My mother loves to pretend a lot of things aren't happening, so far it doesn't spoil her image or the perfect family she has created with Charles, she doesn't care."
This time I didn't wait for Jared to reply, I dragged my suitcase, picked up my bags and walked towards the entrance of the house.
Amanda might not be home yet but Charles would know where she was.
I didn't know why I felt disappointment when I entered and saw that the house hadn't changed, everything and everyone was exactly the same while I went through some sort of internal crisis. It was annoying to say the least.
Charles was seated in his office, the flash of red hair I had seen minutes ago had been real because here she was, looking flustered yet perfectly dressed.
I guessed Charles knew I would be coming to his office. He didn't want me to actually see them, maybe just suspect but no concrete proof.
"May I ask you what you're doing here? I believe you have a living quarters upstairs far away from my office," He said, he reclined into his chair and placed a finger on his lips, his eyes were fixed on mine.
"Good day," I said to the lady who ignored me, "Where's Amanda?" I asked him plainly.
He raised an eyebrow at me, "Amanda? The woman is twenty five, I don't control her movements or make it my business to know her whereabouts," He added a chuckle to make me feel stupid, no doubt about it.
"You and I know you have the location of your children on you and at all times so please, don't start with the games. I am so sorry for giving you a cockblock but I would love if you told me where she is," I tried to explain to him, I was quite adamant too but he was also stubborn.
"No," He spat at me, "You're irrational Jasmine, you'll cause drama and I don't need drama. Amanda would be back later so you can yell at her all you want in the four walls of this house," He said unrelenting.
At this point, the red haired was next to invisible because we only had eyes on each other.
I nodded, "Thanks for wasting my time Charles," And I walked out of the office and towards my room.
My family was filled with the most toxic of people.
******
She came back at the dead of the night. Giggling like a toddler and staggering enough times to make me confirm that she was drunk.
She probably wouldn't have something tangible to say to me. But mom was with her and I needed answers or I wouldn't be able to sleep.
I literally ran down the stairs.
"Jasmine, are you a child?" Mom snapped once she confirmed I was the one and not a burglar or something worse.
The eyeroll I gave her at this point was disrespectful but I had no desire to care "I am not but since you guys made it your personal mission to make my life miserable and run me out of a job, I guess I should say I am a child," I spat at my mom angrily.
Amanda giggled again, she looked absolutely wasted up close and smelled like vomit. She was disgusting.
"Your job is stupid," She said, giggling in-between like some sort of hyena, "We did you a favour and took you away from that dreadful life."
I turned to my mother who looked me dead in the eyes.
"Well she's right of course, I don't approve the method she used to get what she wanted but she's right about your job being stupid and not befitting your degree," Mom said calmly, even at the point of death she would always be calm.
I hated it. I hated her. I hated them.
"And now what? I'm here, what do you guys want with me?"
Mom rolled her eyes, she must have felt like my hysterics were beneath her at this moment. She turned to Amanda.
"Get up, let's get you in bed....."
"No," I shouted, loud enough to wake everyone that stayed within this four walls.
"I stayed awake because I needed someone to explain the reason why you guys did such a thing, I don't ask you guys for money, I don't ask you guys for anything and I come for your stupid vacation and the one thing I have going for me, you guys decided to ruin it," The words poured out of me at this point and I couldn't stop talking.
"After everything that happened before......"
"What happened before?" Mom interrupted me, she walked closer to me now, so close I could have counted her eyelashes.
I gulped.
"That's what I thought, nothing happened and all this is for you. We did everything because of you, for your future," She didn't give me the opportunity to say anything after that.
She held Amanda who was halfway asleep now but her eyes never left mine as she dragged her upstairs.
Somehow, my future seemed bleak and out of reach.
Jasmine.
The meeting was silent yet felt so noisy. We had all come to the kitchen unintentionally and now it felt like a bomb was about to explode.
"Stop making it seem like we did a bad thing to you, Jasmine, that job of yours wasn't even fit for a woman of your status," Mom said the moment she walked into the kitchen and saw me.
And what was my status? No one seemed interested enough to tell me.
Ignoring her seemed like the best thing to do at that moment.
"Besides there's something else available for you here, much better," She took a sip from my cup of coffee, made a face that consisted of disgust and annoyance, probably because of the sugary taste of the drink.
"You never did learn how to prepare a proper cup of coffee with the adequate amount of sugar and milk."
I made a weird face at her the moment she turned her back.
"I can see that," The small smile on her face did not move an inch until Amanda and Charles came into the kitchen too.
Amanda held unto her head, "Why is everywhere so bright, those drugs aren't working," She complained while walking to the refrigerator.
"Maybe you shouldn't drink much when you know you have work to do," I muttered under my breath and rolled my eyes at her. She didn't hear me though but Charles did and he raised an eyebrow at me.
After my brief interaction with mom, I had momentarily forgotten about the reason I had come back to this place.
"Amanda," I called out.
"Hmmmmm," She replied. She was drinking a bottle of water and seemed like she was trying to drown herself in it.
"You made my boss fire me."
And the warm air that was once in the room became stifled and everyone tried their best not to look me in the eyes.
Amanda dropped the half filled bottle back into the refrigerator and turned to me, eyebrows raised.
"Yes?" She asked slowly like she didn't understand what the problem was. She was probably going to bitch about me to those stupid friends of hers and talk about how I was an ungrateful bitch.
"You made me lose my source of income and my home, my town, why?"
Amanda raised her shoulders up and down in a shrug, "Because that job was beneath our standards, honestly I wouldn't be able to cope working there," She used her hand to fan herself like she could faint at that moment.
Always the dramatic one.
"Well you weren't the one working there, you little devil......."
"It's enough," Charles shouted, he must have gotten tired of the whole fiasco but that didn't give him the right to talk to me the way he wanted to.
I was about to give him a piece of my mind but a quick look at mom made my mouth dry up.
"Jasmine, I assure you that Amanda didn't mean any harm. We needed you out of that job so you can start a new one, a much more better and respectable job," She started, her fingers moving upwards to her forehead to massage it.
"And what would that be?" I asked, I could feel most of my anger deflating at the mention of a new job.
Taking that job meant much more money but I would be under my mom's belt and debt. I wasn't sure I wanted that.
"A job with your favorite interior designer, you always talked about her when you were much younger and now that I know her a bit, I said why not get Jasmine a job with her," Mom continued, her smile grew bigger with each words.
My favourite interior designer. The famous Lana. I didn't even know mom listened when I rambled on about her and everything she did.
"Of course I listened, what kind of mother do you think I am?" She snapped at me.
I didn't know I had been talking out loud. But this was too good to be true, there had to be something attached to it.
"It's a thrilling opportunity Jasmine," Charles added, thereby ruining the moment. I had forgotten others were here and it wasn't just my mom and I.
"But one you'll only get if you do something for us," He continued, his eyes were fixed on mine firmly, his way of telling me I had nowhere to run to or something.
My mom refused to meet my eyes at this point and Amanda just couldn't stop smiling.
"What's that?" I asked, already dreaded the answer I was about to hear.
Would it be worth the job mom had found for me?
"Just something little, you know my political aspiration and how I plan to be the president soon," Like anyone in the family could forget, it was all he ever talked about.
"Well my rival is much more powerful than I am and would win if I didn't do anything to stop him."
"What does your political aspirations have to do with me?"
Charles sighed deeply, "This guy is a family guy, that's one of his strategies. He shows everyone how much he loves his family and how far he would go to protect them........"
I grew tired of listening to him talk about how perfect his rival was and I was ready to move out this very moment. Was this the torture I would have to go through because I wanted to work with my idol.
Listen to Charles Castor speak all day.
"... The thing is that dad wants you to get his rival to cheat on his family, his wife and kids," Amanda shouted over her dad's voice. It seemed like I wasn't the only one tired of listening to him talk.
"Woah woah woah, and how do you expect me to do that?" I asked, turned to my mom who was insistent on avoiding my eyes.
"Well you have to seduce him of course," Charles said with a shrug.
"Excuse me."
I had to seduce a man that was probably old enough to be my father and break a family up. There was no way I was going to do that. I didn't follow politics that much but even I knew the man wouldn't be as cruel as my stepfather, he deserved the win more than him.
"I can't do that, I just can't. Get someone else to play your dirty game Charles," I shouted, my gaze was fixed on him so I knew what he was doing.
Smiling. They had me cornered.
"Mom," I turned to the only person I knew could save me now.
She wasn't avoiding my eyes anymore now but rather faced me directly.
"I understand you feel like what we're doing is cruel but you're the only one that can do this, Amanda is already well known as his daughter and she wouldn't be able to sneak incognito like you, you avoided everything that would link you to this family like something dreadful..," She tried to explain to me but honestly I wasn't going to have it.
"And what about sex workers and even the red haired girl I saw in Charles office, they're not related to him so why can't anyone of them do it?" I interrupted, satisfied with the way Charles nostrils seemed to flare up at the mention of the red haired girl.
Mom flinched at that but continued, "We need someone we can trust and I promise you my dear, once you're done with this task, we're out of your life forever," She added the last part like an afterthought but I knew she meant it.
"Well I didn't know avoiding everything about this family would hunt me in the long run," The words came out of my mouth sarcastically and I rolled my eyes.
"I knew it would," Amanda said jokingly, she even added a little laugh at the end like we did when we were younger and still friends.
I ignored her.
"So I just have to seduce him and everyone would know he can be seduced from his family,"
The sound of Charles laughter have always been melodious but now, it sounded like nails scraping a wall. Harsh. Causes ear issues.
"You have to seduce him, have sex with him and get it on audio and video, get him to confess his plans, show him to the entire country," Charles said, the wicked smile of triumph spread on his face.
"What? It'll be like a live porno then. Everyone would see it," I tried to explain it to them.
"Of course. That's the reason why we're making you do it"