ESCAPING MY EX

PROLOGUE

Pain and disappointments. That's what I could feel. Sometimes I just wanna be lost in this painful world. Sometimes, I wanna be someone else, someone else who has a good life, who has everything, someone who doesn't have a problem.

Can I be that person?

"Please...Mrs. Dawson! I promise I'll pay you this month give me one more chance-"

"Aethelred! I've already given you enough chance! And how could you give money when you just lost your job?!" Mrs. Dawson said angrily. Tears streamed down my face. I know. I am broke. Inside and outside, I am broke. And it breaks my heart so much every time I'd think that I don't have anyone to hold on to. That this time, I'd be alone forever.

"I am sure I could find another job and I promise you're the first one I will pay once I get my salary!" I desperately said.

"Why are you choosing to be like this instead of asking for help with your boyfriend? He can help you, Aethelred-"

"Mrs. Dawson, I can solve this on my own! It's my problem and Caden has nothing to do with it!" I cut her off. Why does everyone say that? Why does everyone think that I can't do it on my own? Why does everyone expect me to beg for help with my boyfriend when I know that I can do it alone?

"That's what your pride talking, Aethelred! But pride can't give you money, remember that. I'll give you one week and if you can't still pay me, I'll report you to the police!" she spat angrily and walked out.

I swallowed hard and tiredly lean on the wall of my house's door. I feel so worn out. These past few days I can't even sleep. These past few days...my smiles for him were fake. I closed the door of my house and couldn't help but space out.

I am trying so hard to be strong because I don't want him to get worried. I thought everything is going fine. I thought...that we'll be finally happy, but I was blind to the problems that has to come. And now it's happening. It's happening yet I don't even know what to do.

Tears are still streaming down my face as I heard my phone beep for a message. I slowly get my phone and stared at the message I'd read.

Caden:

Why aren't you calling me? It's been days, Aethelred. I already gave you enough time.

I cried more as I read that message. I covered my mouth to stop my sobs from coming out. My heart is breaking so much. Just reading his message makes my heart break into little, tiny pieces. And no one could ever fix it.

Can I still do this? Can I still make things, right?

Can I still stay with him forever? Can I still hold to him when I know it's already hopeless?

Maybe we aren't just meant to be. Maybe I am not for him, and he's not for me either. If he's really for me...it won't be this hard. If he's really mine...it won't be this difficult to have him.

As I scrolled my gallery with our photos my cries filled the four corners of my house as I reminisce our days together. Caden Lewis...all my life I feel so wrong existing in this world but when you came...everything suddenly feels so right every time your warmth embraced me.

"You're not for him, Aethelred. You're like just trash-tainting my son's name if you stay with him. I know it'll be painful, but I think it's best for you to stay away from him," that's what his mother's words to me. All my life, I've been called trash. I've been called so many hurtful words, but nothing could be more painful than hearing Caden's mother ask me to stay away from his son.

"I love him, ma'am. More than my life. Yes, I am trash. Compared to him I am nothing. But because of him, I found my place in this world. So, no ma'am...I won't ever leave him," that's what I said to Caden's mother after asking me to stay away from his son.

My first choice was to stay with Caden no matter what. My choice was to be with him forever. But...can I still stay when everything is now falling apart?

Caden's family is influential. They are rich. They are a huge thing when it comes to our economy. They are a family of professionals. While I am just a mere human, living in this cruel world. My mother died when I was young. My father became an addict and killed someone while he was in the casino gambling the last money that my mother left to me. My father was locked in prison, so I was left alone, trying to be the best on my own.

Maybe that's why Caden's family won't like me. I am far from their expectations. I am far from the standards that a girl wants to be with Caden.

"I'll give you no choice, Aethelred. You'll lose your job and go back to the mud where you come from...I'll not stop until you leave my son...alone," Caden's mother threatens me.

I chose Caden. I chose him even though I am struggling to get back on my own. I lost my job. I lost everything again. I told Caden to cool off in the meantime. He was confused but he let me, even though it was against his will. But it was just my way to hide all the things I am facing right now. I don't want him to see this. I don't want him to get involved. I don't want him to fight his family just for...me.

That's why reading his message break me so much. So much, I feel like dying.

"Aethelred...the longer I see you like this...the faster I could conclude that your relationship with Caden is becoming toxic," Jane told me when I visit her apartment, she's my only friend and the only one I could trust at this moment. I was asking her to help me find a job until we touched on this topic.

"He's the only one I have, Jane-"

"Then what about you?! You'd wait to get starve and die first before you stop it with him?!" she burst out. I swallowed hard and looked away. My heart is breaking again. Every time we'll talk about this, I can't help but cry.

"Then what should I do?" my voice broke. Damn! I don't want it to happen. I want to hold on to him as long as I can...but...how long? How long could I endure everything?

"If you can't leave him, then tell him everything, Aethelred!" Jane said. I shook my head as tears pooled down my eyes.

"I can't. I'd be more guilty if I'll be the reason for his family's despisement of him. You know that I know how to live without my family, and I don't want him to experience the same thing." I cried. Jane looked at me with pity in her eyes. She went near me and hugged me so tight. I cried on her chest.

"Don't worry...I'll help you...I'll help you escape that family...I'll help you escape...Caden..." she whispered trying to soothe me in pain and sorrow.

CHAPTER 1

I was still so young when I witnessed how my mother died. Father grief so much that he almost forgets his responsibility as my father. I know how he loves my mother. We're not rich but we have money and other assets. Dad was a responsible husband and a father. But it all changed when mom died because of cancer.

He was so devastated. I was still so young, but I know how it affects my father's rational mind. He lost his way and went further and further away from me.

"Aethelred, I should go home now. It's late. Just wait for your dad here, okay?" Auntie Tamara said as she prepared to leave. She's my father's older sister and since mom died, she always visits me here to take care of me and at night she'll leave. Since dad is always out of work, she's the one who's taking care of me. She has children and they've been my playmate since then. I always enjoyed every moment that they are here because when they leave at night I am always left alone.

Dad has rarely gone home. I don't know where he's staying and even at a young age, I am becoming worried for him. I know how huge the damage that my mother's death has inflicted on him, but I hope he'd find a way to move on.

It was also painful to me but since I was young maybe I can still divert my loneliness into something else like playing with my cousins.

I sat down on the couch while staring at the front door waiting for it to open and for dad to come home. I was holding the teddy bear that my mother gave me as a present before she died. I was delighted when the door opened. I thought dad won't come home tonight but I guess this night is different.

But my smile faded when I saw dad looking drunk and a mess in his suit. He almost went out of balance as he closed the door.

"Dad!" I called him when he almost fell to the ground.

"Fuck!" I heard him say. I went near him and helped him to stand up even though my little strength isn't enough.

"Dad...do you want water?" I asked softly as he finally sat down on one of the couches, we have in the living area. His drunk eyes bore on me. His brows furrowed as his lips slowly pursed into a thin line.

"Why are you still awake?" he asked even though he was having a hard time speaking.

"I was waiting for you..." I said sadly. He stared at me. And in a snap, I saw the tears streaming down his face. My heart cracked as I saw his tears. I feel like something is stabbing my heart. I don't want to see my father crying. I used to see him as a strong man. A strong man who always stood up in front of me and mom. He's the one who's always protecting us but right now he's far...from that sight, I used to see.

He becomes weak and vulnerable especially now that he's crying like this. "D-Dad..." my voice shook. I hugged him tightly. The teddy bear I am holding fell down because my arms are now straddling my dad.

"I'm sorry...Aethelred..." he whispered. He hugged me back. I cried in his arms. I don't want dad to be like this. If I am just older and wiser, I won't let these things happen. I'll help dad with all that I can. I will help him to get better and to be back to his old self.

I thought after that night things would change even a little bit, but I was wrong. I heard dad and auntie Tamara fighting the next morning and even though I was still young I can understand everything.

"You know that it'll worsen everything, Francisco! Do you think that it'll be better for Aethelred?!" Auntie Tamara exclaimed.

"I am sure with this, Tamara! I know what I am doing! I know that I'll have money for this and after this, we'll start over again! I'll fix everything! It is for the future of my daughter, Tamara!" dad argued. Their conversation is getting heated. Auntie Tamara looks problematic while dad was full of determination.

"This is a fucking gamble, Francisco! And it is your wife's money! It is supposed to be given by your daughter not for your fucking casino!" Auntie Tamara spat angrily.

"I'll fucking win this, Tamara-"

"You know that when it comes to gambling there is no assurance, Francisco!"

"But this is the only choice I have to raise the money so that I can invest it into another company!" dad said heatedly. Auntie Tamara shook her head like she doesn't have faith in my dad anymore.

"We have so many ways, Francisco...why would you resort with that fucking way?!"

"I can't let it pass, Tamara. The company is just giving me three days to reach the money they want so that I can invest it in them. This is the only hope I have for the future of my daughter, Tamara..." Dad almost begged auntie. Tears rolled down my cheeks. My heart is breaking. In the end, dad is still worried for me. Dad still wants a better future for me.

In the end, auntie Tamara didn't say anything anymore. I locked myself in my room after that and searched for the word 'casino' and was shocked that it was a gambling place for rich men.

It means that dad will gamble the money that mom has left for us. It wasn't enough to be invested in a company and in order to multiply the money he'll gamble it and hope for it to win.

I am hoping for dad to win even though I know that it was wrong. It wasn't the right way to do but I am still hoping for it to win.

One afternoon, auntie Tamara was preparing now to leave when dad suddenly appear and went inside the house. I was shocked to see his coat with blood and looking so anxious and weary.

"What the fuck happened to you, Francisco?!" Auntie Tamara exclaimed and pulled me behind her, blocking me against dad. But I was desperate to see him. Why is dad coated with blood? What happened to him? Does he fall in an accident? He needs to be treated in the hospital!

"I don't have time to explain to you, Tamara. I'll get Aethelred, we'll leave the city," dad said in a rush as he tried to get me to auntie.

"No, Francisco! Not until you tell me what happened!" Auntie shouted. Dad looks so confused but fear is dominating in his eyes.

"I can't explain right now, Tamara! I'll get Aethelred! Give her to me!" dad shouted in haste. The nervousness I am feeling is over to the roof. I don't know what's happening, but I can feel danger.

"No, Francisco! What the hell did you do?!" Auntie was so frustrated. Dad became aggressive. I was shocked and surprised when he forcefully pulled me out of auntie's hold. It was physically painful as his grip tightened on me when auntie didn't let him get me. I feel like I am in some kind of tug of war, and I am the rope between them.

"She's my daughter, Tamara-"

"Yes, she is! But I don't know anymore if she has a future with you!" auntie shouted. I cried as they kept pulling me to each other. I feel scared and confused. I don't want dad to be like this but he's holding me forcefully and without him knowing, he's inflicting pain on me.

"D-Dad...A-Auntie!" I cried as they kept pulling me. Auntie looks so worried while dad was desperate to get me. But they stopped when we heard the siren of the police coming towards our house. Dad let me go and become anxious and scared. I don't know why and it's painfully hurting me.

"Dad..." I called him as he walks back and forth.

"What did you fucking do, Francisco?" Auntie asked angrily. Dad messed up his hair and with his shaking hands and tears rolling down his cheeks, he looks at auntie.

"I...don't know...Tamara...I played the game...I gambled my wife's last money for us...I was so sure I'd win...but...they tricked me! They cheated on me! They cheat on the game! I was playing fair and square, Tamara...and because of that...my eyes darkened. My eyes went red..." Dad said nervously and panicky.

I didn't know how to react, but my auntie started crying as dad tell his story. I was confused but there's one thing I understand...Dad lost...and someone cheated...

"...I didn't...hold my anger...I p-pulled the trigger of my gun...and k-killed him..." dad said devastatingly. My lips parted. Auntie's cries filled the whole house. I stared at dad who was also staring at me. In his eyes, I saw how he regret everything. In his eyes, I saw how he asked for forgiveness from me. My heart literally broke as the door forcefully opened and the police went in and hold my father.

Dad was just staring at me as his tears pooled down his eyes. Auntie was crying hard, but it was only echoing inside my ears. The policemen pointed a gun at my dad as they locked my father's wrist with cuffs.

"Aethelred..." dad called for me, but I didn't respond, I was just staring and watching the police take my dad. Dad was crying while I was just there standing, didn't know how to react to everything that's happened.

But when dad slip away from the police hold and run towards me and hugged me desperately my tears started to blur my sight.

"I-I'm...sorry..." dad whispered. I wanted to say something. Something that will make him calm down. Something that will soothe his heart. I want to tell him that I am okay. That I still believe in him even though the circumstances were very hard for us. I want to comfort my dad, but my tongue was tied. I was a coward and remained crying on his shoulder until the police forcefully take him from me and pushed him inside the police car.

And that was the start of my miserable life. That was the start when people start calling me...the criminal's daughter.

CHAPTER 2

"Aethelred!" I heard Auntie Tamara's call for me as I hurriedly finished the food I am cooking. "Yes, auntie?" I answered and turned off the fire on the gasoline before I proceeded toward auntie who had just come from her work.

"Give me some water," she said and sat down on the couch. I nodded and immediately get her a glass of water. I quickly gave it to her and waited until she was done drinking. She gave me the glass afterward.

"How's work, auntie?" I asked. She sighed heavily. She looks exhausted.

"Difficult as ever," she said in a sigh and rested her head on the couch where she was sitting. I nodded and went back to the kitchen. I am now preparing the dinner over the table. I was putting plates on the table when auntie entered the dining.

"Where's your cousin? Why isn't she helping you?" she asked brows furrowed. I shook my head and smiled. "No need auntie. I can do it alone and maybe Temari is busy with her homework," I said. She sat down on her usual spot as exactly Temari, my cousin who's a year younger than me entered the dining, sporting her usual spaghetti strap top, short shorts, and her huge headset on her head.

"Hello, mom," Temari greeted her mom before she sat down in her seat. I took off my apron and also took my seat in front of Temari.

"Temari, can't you put down your headset first before you eat?" auntie told Temari. Temari heard his mom and with her heavy movements she put down her headset.

"Why didn't you help Aethelred for our dinner?" auntie asked Temari. My eyes widened. "No...auntie! I am the one who wants to do it alone!" I said before auntie scold her daughter. Temari rolled her eyes and glared at me. I swallowed hard and looked down.

"Am I here to eat or get asked by you?" Temari sarcastically asked her mom. My lips parted. Auntie's eyes glared at Temari.

Ever since auntie took me into her house...Temari's behavior began to change. Temari was good to me when we were young, but she changed the moment I lived here with her. Maybe she doesn't want me here. Maybe she hates me for being here.

"You're being disrespectful, Temari!" Auntie angrily said. Temari's jaw clenched. "Why are you getting mad that I didn't help your niece? This is just her responsibility to do all the household chores before she's just a burden to this house right? She even deserves to be our helper or else...a slave!" Temari angrily said.

I bit my lower lip and looked down at my food. I felt hollow below my stomach. Something pinched my heart because I know...Temari was right.

"Temari!" Auntie shouted so mad, but Temari immediately walked out. The place was filled with silence. I sighed heavily and still wore a smile with auntie. "It's fine auntie. You really don't have to scold Temari just for that..." I spoke.

"Just for that? Aethelred...I know that Temari has never been good to you and I'm sorry for that but allow me to-"

"No...it's really fine, auntie...I'm fine..." I said assuring her. She smiled but worried is in her eyes.

It's been 11 years since dad was locked in prison. The court's decision for him was life imprisonment. It was painful for me. I had it long before I moved on. Auntie Tamara took care of me for the whole 11 years. Auntie Tamara is widowed. Temari's father died because of an accident. That's why auntie was working hard for us. Auntie has been so good to me. I am thankful for her because I grew up fine.

This is the reason why I am trying so hard to graduate. I am now in the last year of my college years, and I am already preparing myself for the future I want to become. I want to be successful. I want to help auntie. I want her to be proud of me. Auntie is not just a relative to me. She's almost like a mother to me.

"Auntie..." I called her. She glanced at me and drank her water.

"What is it?" she asked.

"I visit...the house...earlier this morning..." I uttered hesitantly. Her brows furrowed. "Aethel...I told you to stop visiting that house. If you'll just agree with me, we can sell that house and lot-"

"I can't sell that house...auntie," I said and looked away. That house is where my good memories with mom and dad happened. Selling it out means throwing away those memories.

"I know...I know that you care so much about that house. That is the only thing that your mother left," she said. I bit my lower lip. Mom's family came from an old rich ancestry. And that house was given to my mom. It was one of those lands that my mom's family-owned but now they are not in this world anymore. Mom's family went bankrupt so when she met dad, she wasn't the rich girl anymore.

Mom and dad's love story was so ideal. It was like a fairytale. Auntie Tamara was one of the witnesses of how great mom and dad's love was. I was...so happy that you won't expect a tragic ending.

It started when mom died of sickness and dad went miserable. He mourned so much. He was so sad and grieving. In order to forget he chooses to play at the casino and get drunk every night. Until the only thing that was left for us is the money that mom saved in the bank. Dad thought that he can invest it but failed when the company told him that the money wasn't enough.

Dad was confused and chose the easy path. He gambled the money hoping that he could earn more but failed again when he lost the gamble. And it was the cause why...he ends up killing someone. And now...he's in jail.

It was a happy story in the beginning, but you'll realize how sad it is if you went further. Getting married and having a child is really not the actual ending of every story. Every story always has something to say beyond that ending. What happened after they married? What happened after they have a child? Is it still a happy ending?

Then...you'll realize...that it wasn't. It wasn't a happy ending after all.

That is what happened to my family. That's what happened and why everything in my life is so hard.

Dad killed someone who's known in the industry. It was reported in the news and my dad's name was tainted for being a criminal. And even though my auntie asks the reporters to keep my name private...it was still revealed in the news and on social media.

At a young age...I experienced being despised by other people. Everyone always stays away from me. Everyone hated me to the core when the only thing I want is to be nice to them. Some aren't distancing themselves from me, but they'd bully me nonstop. It was a real struggle. It's so hard living in this world with everyone's eyes judging me even though they still didn't know me.

That's why I strive so hard to be on top. I studied to the core until the teachers noticed me and I am contented with just the teacher noticing me until I found Jane. I was in my freshman year in college when I met her. She was a good friend. She knows about me. She knows about my father, but she never judges me.

In fact,...she was straightforward to me. She was also the one who find me a part-time job. She's also doing a part-time job, so she helps me to get hired. We are a waitress on that job. And now...I am thinking to move out and live in a house that's been abandoned for 11 years.

The house is still clean and looks nice. Well, Auntie Tamara has been cleaning it up every month.

"Auntie...can I...live there? I was thinking a lot about it these days. That house is near my school and part-time job..." I said slowly. This is my first time telling her this. Auntie looked at me. She sighed afterward.

"I know you've been wanting to leave this house, Aethel. I can feel it that even though you feel thankful for me you still feel that you're a burden to me..." she said. I inhaled deeply as tears started to form in the side of my eyes.

"I'm...grateful to have you...auntie...but...I know I can handle myself now. But I promise...I won't stop helping you...I'll always be with you, auntie..." I said as tears started to stream down my face. Auntie sighed heavily and gently looked at me. But what made me cry more is when she hugged me tight, and I know from that moment...Auntie is now letting me go.