Dreamworld - Conflicting hearts

The Dreamworld was not what you could say "the best place in the world" to live. But he was my favorite place in the whole world. If I could choose anywhere, I would choose there. We had things that no amount of money could buy: friendship, complicity, empathy. We all knew each other very well, or at least we thought so, and we always helped each other as much as possible. Of course, some more helpful, others less.

The place consisted of 6 apartments of exactly the same size proportions: 2 not very big bedrooms, living room, small kitchen and a good bathroom. Although I thought it was small, it met my needs well. Maybe it would be better if I didn't have to share it with two friends. But I couldn't even imagine my life without them around every day. Dreamworld had 3 blocks, each with 2 apartments, one above, one below. In the center there was a huge swimming pool, always very clean and inviting. The walls were very high, with the iron gate imitating an old castle railing being the only way to enter. Only the residents had access and each one had a single key. The small ballroom was used regularly, where the owner had beautiful parties, with lots of drink, loud music, good food and fun. The good thing is that in the end, traditionally, pizza meant it was close to time for everyone to go home and move on with their lives, until, of course, the next meeting. There was also a gourmet space, where the best roast beef in the world was prepared, which was usually enjoyed by the pool. And green, very green on all sides, with the most diverse and beautiful foliage, cared for by all of us .

The name Dreamworld, although it left many people confused and at the same time curious, was given by the owner, Gisa, who was an orphan in her teens and invested her inheritance in the construction of the building. It is said that she made a lot more money, but lost it in the hot parties she liked so much, expensive drinks and things like that. So currently what remained was the rents of the 5 apartments, because in one she lived. She was an excellent person, with a huge heart, even to the point of feeling sorry for some people who sometimes didn't pay their rent. In my opinion she was the funniest person in the world. He just didn't care too much about the day after tomorrow. But that in no way interfered with the strong woman she was. Gisa had been studying English for many years and spoke the language fluently. Her dream was to see the world, but her current financial situation wouldn't let her. So it remained for her to stay there, continue studying, in the Dreamworld, the Dream World that she had created. She always proudly said that the condo was designed by an American architect, based on some spaces created in the United States.

When the name was discussed among the locals, we were of the same opinion: Dreamworld was all about us. We were dreamers, in search of our perfect lives. I often thought reality was so far away from us that, although no longer in age, we acted like eternal teenagers. And I don't know if that would ever change. Growing up wasn't easy.

Our lives crossed all the time and I even thought that Gisa chose each resident one by one, with their different personalities so that we could live as if it were in a movie or a soap opera. I just don't know if it would be a novel, a drama or a horror movie... Or maybe all together and mixed up.

Mari was the resident I interacted with the least. Not that I didn't like her, but she was the most reserved. She lived alone. It wasn't pretty, but it was pretty. She had a good job and was always well dressed and perfumed. She was a little mysterious, but there was one thing she didn't hide: her interest in Jonathan, Samantha's ex-boyfriend.

Samantha, my roommate and friend, was the opposite of me and Helena. He didn't care about anything... He just wanted to live each day intensely. Living alone brought out a side of her that we didn't know: that of insecurity and sentimentality. She was still in love with Jonathan. She worked as a realtor. Samantha was one of the most beautiful women I've ever met: brunette, tall, thin, long curly dark hair and greenish-brown eyes. She was extremely careful with her appearance and this earned her praise from both men and women. It could

have everything in life, if it weren't so impulsive and unpredictable. Ah... He didn't listen to our advice either, even though he asked.

Jonathan... What about him? I think he's the kind of man you can't help but admire or sigh as he passes by. According to Gisa, he's wasting time, as he could be a model, actor or something. I don't really know how he feels about Samantha, but I'm sure she suffers a lot for him. We didn't talk much, but he was always very kind to me. In the time he dated Samantha he didn't go to our apartment much, so I didn't have much contact with him. Helena used to say that he was very nice and charismatic, but he wasn't a man to get sentimentally involved with any woman. I blamed him for my friend's suffering, even though I knew deep down he wasn't to blame.

Helena... Ah, there was no better person in the world than her. The friendly shoulder of all hours, the best counselor and without a doubt the best friend anyone could have. I didn't even remember how many years I'd known her. I know we shared lunch in high school and fought over the boys. And we grew up saying we'd move in together when we could. And so we did. Inseparable: that's what they called us. She was engaged to Daniel, Jonathan's roommate. The two had met in Dreamworld.

Daniel was a huge man, with his 1.90 m in height, very well distributed . She was of German origin and her face did not say otherwise. His sky-blue eyes were as beautiful as he was and his frequent kindness. A responsible, honest man who only had eyes for my friend Helena. I never doubted that they were made for each other.

Carlos was also an amazing man. He lived alone, was doing his residency in Medicine at the City Hospital. He was the most recent resident of Dreamworld, but it felt like we'd known him for years. He was very busy, always working, but when he had the opportunity he would join the us, even for a few hours. He didn't hide his admiration for Samantha's beauty from anyone. She, in turn, had no eyes for him, unfortunately, as he was an amazing guy.

I can't forget about Fábio, Gisa's boyfriend. If I liked him... No. I tried to hide it, but I couldn't always. It wasn't a tease, but something about him I didn't like. I didn't have any sincerity at all. He claimed to be from a rich family, however he lived with Gisa without helping in any way financially. From time to time he appeared with some big cars displaying the fortune that I don't even know if it was real. I cared about Gisa's well being and didn't want her to suffer. Fábio was immature, freeloader and I'm almost sure he was a liar. Still, I couldn't intervene without evidence... and I don't think I should either. He was the youngest in age among us: 20 years old.

And finally, Therry, my boyfriend. Beautiful, I can't deny it. He devoted some of his time to toning his muscles at the gym, as if he needed more. Dark, strong, athletic... I'm not even sure how we got involved and got to the point of making our relationship official. I knew the women lived behind him, but I didn't think much of it. How could I care about them if I didn't even care about what we had with each other? I thought he liked me and I thought it would be nice not to be alone for a change. We had problems, like any other couple, but we didn't break up and I'm not sure why. There was no emotional involvement on my part, although I tried very hard. I liked being with him, but I didn't see myself with Therry in the future.

Well, I'm Ariane and everything you've heard so far is from my point of view. I'm a normal woman. I am 22 years old, I am a Psychologist and I work in a company. I like my job, but I don't love it. I like my boyfriend, but I don't love him. I like my life, but I don't love it. I was one of the first residents of Dreamworld. And in this place I would never have imagined living the best years of my life... And also the worst days. There I met true love... And I had to give it up. I want to carry in my mind the best memories I can from there and try to forget the bad ones. The truth is that I will always miss that place, those people and the life I used to lead there.

- I like you a lot, Ari.

- Why do I not believe so much in your words? - I said laughing.

I really couldn't quite identify Therry's feelings. Sometimes I thought he genuinely liked me, other times he was just using me not to be alone, just like I was doing with him. No, I didn't feel guilty about it, after all, we both benefited from this relationship in some way. And I didn't want to fall in love with him... I think even if I tried, I could, because I saw many flaws in Therry, which I believe I wouldn't see if I liked him. I found him cocky, yet handsome . I hated that he smoked all the time, even though he lived in the gym and preached a healthy life he didn't. He wasn't very committed to anything. I didn't really like his mood swings, but he always ended up forgiving and I don't even know why .

- Therry, I think you better go. In a little while Helena and Samantha arrive and...

- So? We are boyfriends. So what's the problem with them coming and seeing me here? You don't pay for this apartment as much as they do? – he said angrily.

- I'm actually tired. – I lied. "I've had a busy day and I want to sleep.

- Then promise that this week you will reserve a time in your schedule just for me... Maybe we can have lunch or dinner together, just the two of us?

- Combined. - I said annoyed, for him to leave anyway.

He got up from the couch, gave me a quick kiss and left.

When he left I lay down on the couch and breathed a sigh of relief. Less and less I liked his presence in my house. I think it was time to definitively end that bad relationship, which didn't contribute anything to my life. He was leaving me with no space and I didn't like it.

Helena opened the door, looking tired.

- How was your day, friend? I asked.

- Well, as far as possible. And you?

- Trying to make it better. - I admitted.

She went to her bedroom and came back in her pajamas and slippers and sat with me on the couch.

- A coffee to accompany the sorrows? she asked laughing.

- Why not? - I said laughing too. I was supposed to make coffee for her who was arriving after me, but I knew they didn't like my presence in the kitchen for anything, not even to prepare a simple coffee. Maybe this is due to my terrible gift for cooking.

Soon I smelled brewed coffee all over the house and like crazy I got off the couch and closed the window so the aroma wouldn't go away. I sat down on the couch again and Helena came back with two cups of sugar-free blacks, just like we liked.

- I'm ready for you to confess.

- Oh, friend and how I need it. – I said laying my head on her shoulder after tasting that perfect coffee.

- How do you manage to have so many problems and still solve other people's?

I laughed:

- I already told you it's not like that, Helena. Psychologists don't solve other people's problems... It would be nice if it were so simple to solve people's problems, especially those we don't even know.

- But you could at least anticipate the problems before getting into them, right? You were always very correct and centered. There are things you can tell beforehand, Ari.

- Yes, it seems that I look for problems sometimes...

- Well then... Glad you have me, a faithful, loyal and wonderful friend. – she said laughing. - And Samantha, who is pretty cool too, but not as much as me.

I laughed out loud:

- I agree with you. In all.

- Well, what's going on between you and Therry?

- You already knew what I was going to talk about, didn't you?

- Of course... You don't even have to be your best friend to know that this is a problem.

- I can't stand being with him anymore. - I confessed.

- You can tell when you're together, Ari. But it seems he likes you. I see sincerity in his eyes when he says you're important and stuff like that. You know I don't like him very much, but I'll feel sorry for him when you're done.

- I didn't want everything to be so serious... It wasn't supposed to be like this. I don't even know how we got to this relationship, since I never wanted to. In fact, I have no intention of being in a serious relationship with anyone right now, especially someone who doesn't touch my heart in any way. And he's been pushing his presence into my life too much the last few days. I'm feeling suffocated.

- You need to tell him that... Not in all these words, obviously.

- I know... It's past time to finish what I shouldn't have started. But I lack courage... I don't want to hurt him.

- I think he'll be sorry... There's no way around it.

- I need to have the courage and tell him the truth as soon as possible. You can't take this too long, as it can create even more expectations.

- I agree.

- But now let's put my life aside and talk about our eternal problem, our friend Samantha.

- Hmm ... - Helena said taking all the coffee at once and making a face.

- Where is she? I should be home by now.

- She's at the bar on the block above.

- Doing what at the bar?

- Looking at Jonathan.

- Samantha can't do that. I said furiously.

- We have nothing to do, Ari. She's an adult.

- But they are no longer together, she ended it all herself.

- Well, she's sorry and she's decided she loves Jonathan.

- How can she do that? Did you know he had another one, saw him with her and still stoops like this?

- She did what she should have done at the time... She ended the relationship.

- Yes, she did well to break up with him. Jonathan was an ordinary, um... I don't even have words for what he did. But I don't know if I hate him more for betraying her or her for running after him like nothing happened.

- Like I said, she's an adult. There's nothing we can do, after all, she doesn't listen to our advice.

- But we are her friends, we need to intervene, don't you think?

- No. I do not think so. At the moment she does not accept opinions and we will only fight if we insist. We'll hold her when we need to, later on. - Helen said calmly.

- Helena, we can't let her fall. - I replied. I couldn't stand the way Samantha humiliated herself to Jonathan.

- I won't do anything, Ari. Samantha doesn't hear us. In fact, she doesn't listen to anyone.

- I... I'll talk to Jonathan.

- Maybe it would be a good idea... But what will he say? Who doesn't like her. And what can you do about it? Anything. There is no way to force him to like Samantha.

- What if he likes her? Maybe it 's good for his ego to see her chasing after him like this. - I thought.

- I'm almost convinced that Jonathan never felt anything for Samantha.

- Idiot... That's what he is. – I said angrily when I thought of that pair of green eyes.

- Don't say that... Jonathan is a nice guy. It deserves our consideration.

- Helena, I can't believe what I'm hearing. - Really, I could not believe that my friend was defending Jonathan and not Samantha.

- Ari, Samantha knew from the beginning that there was no future. She practically forced Jonathan to stay with her. He insisted so much that he had no way out. We know well that he never stayed with someone as long as he did with her. Six months... Long, in my opinion . I've never seen him get involved for so long. And she was happy, even though she knew it wasn't what she always dreamed of. He never lied about who and what he was like.

- What a horrible speech, Helena. Are you saying she should enjoy it while it lasted and that was it?

- I'm the only one who can see both sides, right? Have you ever thought of Jonathan in this story? No, you only think about Samantha, because she is our friend. And we're not to blame for her actions, Ari. We warned her about everything that could happen before she started the relationship with him, in an almost forced way. I know Jonathan and you know it. He and Daniel have been friends for a long time. He's not a bad guy. He never promised her anything. It was wrong indeed to betray her and she was right to break up with him. What I don't see the point is for her now to regret it and live behind him.

- I understand... - I said even though I didn't understand much. In my opinion Helena still defended Jonathan and I saw no defense for him.

- Besides, I have my suspicions in this whole story...

- Mistrust? What would they be? I asked curiously.

- Maybe I'm wrong... I've already tried to talk to Daniel about this subject, but he didn't make much point.

- Speak up, Helen.

- I think he looks at you with ulterior motives.

- Who, Jonathan? – I asked, trying not to laugh.

- Yea.

I started laughing heartily. Helena could only be crazy.

- I'm serious. – she said without laughing.

- That never happened... There's no possibility...

- Did you ever happen to see him looking at you? Or do you think there's no way he could be interested in you? And would you be interested in it?

- Helena... You can't be serious. – I said without laughing this time. He didn't know Helena's intention in saying all that nonsense.

- Well, I'll hope my eyes and my intuition are wrong. - She said getting up from the couch. "Because if I'm right, we're going to have trouble out there.

She went to the kitchen and I drank all my coffee in one sitting, then felt the bitter but good taste in my mouth. I picked up my cup and went after her, who was at the sink.

- When did you see this? I asked.

- Sometimes...

- Why didn't you ever tell me?

- Because we had never talked about it... Besides, Samantha is always with us, so I couldn't share it with you.

- I don't see the possibility of that happening.

Helena looked me in the eyes and asked:

- Because? You're a beautiful woman, Ari... Why couldn't he be interested in you?

- Helena, it could be just a look... It doesn't mean it's desire or whatever.

- Ari, I wasn't born yesterday. I'm not idiot.

- Okay... I'll keep an eye on that. Or should I not? she asked confused.

- I think you should be smarter, yes. Just don't meet his stares, for God's sake. she said. - Not now.

- Of course I wouldn't do that. - I said more than quickly. "Just thinking about it makes me feel bad.

Helena put the clean cup away and I started to wash mine. She gave me a kiss and said:

- I'm going to take a shower and go to sleep. I'm really tired.

- And the engagement?

- Optimally great. Wonderfully wonderful. – she said laughing.

I laughed. I loved it when she talked like that. And asking about the engagement always brought her joy.

- I've never seen anyone so in love with their future husband. I said making a face.

- Hoping that time passes soon and we get married. - she said.

hugged her tightly and said:

- You and Daniel deserve all the happiness in the world... You are very special. And I'm so happy for you...

She returned the hug:

- Ari, I hope you also feel what I feel someday. And I'm sure that when you least expect it, the man will appear who will take you off your center.

- I don't want to decentralize. - I said confidently.

She laughed:

- Good night, Ari.

- Goodnight.

Helena slept alone in one room and I shared the other with Samantha. Helena was privileged to have one of the rooms for her privacy with Daniel. Me and Samantha took turns when we needed the room, so the other slept in the room. Obviously I slept more in the living room than in the bedroom, as Samantha had company often. I was already 22 years old, I was a determined woman, sure of myself, with a good profession in which I fulfilled myself. But she was a little conservative about sex. For me it had to have feelings.

It didn't have to be love, because at the height of my age I still didn't know this feeling. And he wasn't in a hurry either. Seeing that it wasn't always a bed of roses, he preferred to be on the defensive, happy without suffering for anyone. For this reason, he had made love a few times.

I went to take a cold shower because I was sweaty and then I lay down on my bed. The room I shared with Samantha was small , as it had two double beds. A small closet that we shared and the rest of our things we left in Helena's room, which was more spacious. Still I liked the way we lived. I turned off the light and kept thinking that the day after tomorrow would be Sunday, my favorite day of the week. We would all gather by the pool to eat roast beef. That was my favorite Dreamworld show, even more than the parties. We had fun , talked about our week and made plans.

I thought of Jonathan. She was a little distressed by what Helena had said. I never noticed his looks at me, much less any kind of intention other than friendship. I couldn't deny that I thought he was beautiful. Who didn't? I sometimes admired his tattoos, which caught my eye: dragons, Egyptian pyramids, and sphinxes. Who tattooed that? Of course I was also looking at his body. Who wouldn't? He was strong and not like Therry, who lived at the gym. It felt like his body was naturally perfect that way. Since I've known him, he's never let his hair grow long, always cutting it very short, almost shaved. Sometimes he wore a beard and sometimes he didn't. He was currently sporting a short, well-trimmed beard, which gave him a more mature look. We never talked alone or about anything that involved very personal matters. I knew almost everything about him from Samantha and Helena, who was engaged to his best friend. Still, I was never very interested in knowing more about that man, except now that he was making my friend suffer. Somehow I was shaken by what Helena had told me about him possibly being interested in me. She had made it very clear that it was a distrust of hers, but it left me with a strange feeling inside... And it wasn't good.

I turned off the light and tried to sleep, but I couldn't. It was past midnight when Samantha arrived. She turned on the light and even if she didn't I would smell her strong perfume in the room. I watched her taking off her high heels trying not to make any noise. She wore a short, low-cut, tight red dress. It looked beautiful on her perfect body, but I would never wear something like it.

- Ari, did I wake you up?

- Everything is fine. I wasn't sleeping yet.

- I tried not to make any noise, I swear.

She took off her dress and put on her pajamas. Her makeup was a little smudged, but I couldn't tell if she'd cried.

- All right? I asked sitting on the bed.

- As always. - She said sighing and lying down.

I looked at her, so beautiful, even with smudged makeup and pajamas. I thought how could any man refuse her? What was left for me, an absolutely normal woman?

- How was the bar? I asked, bringing up the subject again.

- The same people as always... Nothing changes there. You should one of these days with me.

- I went once with Therry. I didn't like it very much.

She laughed:

- You have class, Ari. I don't know if it's the same for a bar. You're one of those women who deserves to be taken to an expensive restaurant, with a car tinkling again, served with exquisite dishes. And all this with a handsome, perfect man wearing a suit and maybe a tie.

I couldn't help but laugh out loud:

- Is that what you think of me? How I wanted to be fine and refined... Soon I, who eat yesterday's sandwich for lunch at the bakery and canned soda, with a bunch of men who talk all the time and never even notice my presence or offer me a chair to sit down, just so you don't eat standing at the counter.

- You do it because you want to. You know you can have much more, including in your lunch. You just need a more... attractive outfit. I bet every place in the bakery would be offered to you.

- Do you want me to do psychological tests on people who will be admitted to a company wearing an attractive dress? I don't think it would work.

We both laughed. I understood what she meant, but she was making a fool of me.

- I just wanted to say that we are so different... Yet so friendly. I'm an impulsive woman, I admit it. I don't care what people think of me or my reputation, you know? I'm insecure, a crybaby and I live for the moment... I don't care what happens tomorrow, because tomorrow may not come.

- I know how you are, Samantha. And I think you're perfect this way, even though we're different. That's what's cool about people, that we can be different from each other and still meet and share our lives.

- I'm not even good with men...

- Are you talking about Jonathan? How was it with him today?

- As always. Jonathan is getting further and further away from me and I can't seem to stop it, Ari. I feel it slipping through my fingers.

- Don't you think it's enough to run after him, Samantha?

- I've thought about giving up, but I can't. I love that man.

- He doesn't deserve your love.

- I know that too, Ari. He's selfish, he cheated on me and yet I love him just the same. He's smart, he's traveled many places, he speaks many languages, he's been to places I'll never set foot on my feet someday and he's never even invited me to accompany him.

- He goes to the same bar as you. So he's not that different. You live in the same condo as well. - I watched so she wouldn't feel so inferior to him.

- The way you talk sounds like I'm going to some bar. - She said laughing and pretending to be offended.

- I did not mean that.

- I know, Ari... I know. But he doesn't go there much. I'm a more frequent visitor, so to speak. Today it was horrible to see him with Mari.

- With Mari? Our neighbor? I asked in surprise.

- They were n't together like making out, you know? They just had a drink and talked. But she can't hide her interest in him. It was there, all melted... Didn't even notice my presence I think.

- Mari doesn't beat you in a contest for beauty. I tried to cheer her up a bit.

- As if for Jonathan that mattered. He was never one to care about people's appearance. He can capture what people have inside... He's so perfect. And I couldn't impress him with what I have inside or out.

- Samantha, if you feel all this for him, why did you end the relationship? – I asked confused.

- I ask myself this question every day.

- I can not understand.

- He cheated on me with another woman. I saw. Nobody told me, so there was no chance it was a lie. I was crazy with jealousy. And afraid that everyone would know that I had been made a fool of by him. My pride spoke louder.

- I do not agree with his betrayal, at all, Samantha. But at the same time if you wanted to forgive, you would have had to. You can't care what others would think.

- I know it. I tried to fix things, but it was too late. Jonathan didn't want anything to do with me anymore... I don't even know if he ever really did. she confessed.

- I think in the end everything turned out as it should be...

- No... I was supposed to have accepted the betrayal. I prefer a little of it to nothing. Seeing him without being mine drives me crazy.

- And your self-love? I asked perplexed.

- And since when did I have it, Ari? I do not care about it. When I want a man I get it, I go all the way. But it was never as difficult to conquer someone as it was with Jonathan. At first he resisted my charm. So I got even more excited. She looked like a teenager. Then being with him was magnificent. He is a man who attracts attention wherever he goes... And he was mine. Or at least I thought he was... Because I think he was for all the women who wanted to. Over time I really fell in love with him, even though I knew he didn't want to get seriously involved.

- Samantha, are you not more obsessed than in love? I asked seriously.

- It is not love. You don't know what those arms are around you, the mouth kissing you... I'll conquer you again, whatever the cost.

- I hope you get it. - I said to end the conversation.

- Thank you for listening to me, Ari. Good night.

- Good night, Samantha.

I closed my eyes and kept thinking about her words about his arms around her and her mouth kissing. I thought of his lips. No, I didn't know what his arms or mouth were... And I didn't even want to. I didn't even know why I was thinking about it. I couldn't even think about that man. I think I was like this because I was shaken by what he was doing to my friend. I would never have the courage to get involved with a man like Jonathan. Much less accept the betrayal and then run after it, as if nothing had happened. But who was I to criticize Samantha or her relationship with Jonathan? I used to date a man and I didn't feel anything for him and yet I was a little afraid of breaking up and leaving him hurt. Me, the counselor friend who didn't know how to solve her own life.