Doctor Jones' Picnic

"Figures Don't Lie."

The North Pole! That spot upon earth so environed with trackless fields of unbroken snow and mountains of ice; with an atmosphere so cold that none but the bravest and hardiest of mankind can breathe it and live. And yet these apparently insuperable obstacles have but stimulated men to do and dare all things, so that they might but reach that ultima thule. In vain have our utilitarians cried, "Qui bono?" God has planted within man the spirit of lordship and domination; and, true to that spirit, he will never rest until Nature shall have yielded up to him her last secret, and his restless foot shall have trodden the wildest and farthest spot of earth. Then, and not till then, will he stand crowned "Lord of Creation."

In this faithful history of the discovery and exact location of the North Pole, it is not necessary to bring before the reader in historical review the many illustrious names and grand heroisms of former explorers of Arctic regions. They did marvelous deeds, beyond the comprehension of those who did not actually participate in them. They sacrificed thousands of noble lives, and undoubtedly did all that could be done with the means at their command. Ah! there we have struck the keynote. The means at their command were inadequate, and nothing but failure and disaster could result from their best laid plans and efforts.

Dr. Jonathan Jones sat in his office in the populous, thriving city of R--, situated in one of our western states. He occupied an easy chair, heels upon a low, flat-topped writing desk, newspaper in hand, reading an account of the failure of Dr. Nansen to reach the North Pole. That renowned and hardy explorer proposed reaching the spot by floating on an ice floe. We are all familiar with the fact that he did actually get to within about three hundred miles of the coveted spot, but was obliged to turn back for want of dogs and sledges.

Dr. Jones laid the paper down with a groan. "Will they never learn?" he apostrophizingly cried to a bust of Hahnemann that rested upon a bracket in a corner of the room. "They can never get there on any such lines. I believe it to be a perfectly feasible scheme, if worked out on simple scientific principles. If I had capital, I would try it."

He sat with the points of his extended fingers touching each its mate of the opposite hand, and mused for several moments. Suddenly he seized a pencil, and rapidly jotted down figures, lines, and characters that meant nothing to any mortal but himself.

"Figures don't lie!" he shouted to aforesaid bust. "That depends, Doctor, on whether they are legitimately used or not. Sometimes they are made to represent the vilest untruth," said a voice behind him. The Doctor wheeled about and encountered the genial countenance of Mr. A.L. Denison.

"Hullo! Denison. Just the man I wanted to see. Sit down."

"What's up now, Doctor? Anyone hurt or seriously sick?" inquired Denison, as he occupied a chair.

For answer the Doctor read aloud the account of Dr. Nansen's failure to reach the North Pole, and then said: "I do not wonder that he failed. No one will succeed upon any such lines or plans."

"Well, Doctor, you don't suppose that anyone will ever get there and back alive, do you?"

"Whether they will or not, I do not know; but that it is a perfectly feasible and rational undertaking, under proper conditions, I as firmly believe as I do that I am alive," and he brought his fist down upon the desk by way of emphasis with a whack that made the various loose articles in the little office rattle. Even the bust upon the bracket moved about uneasily, whether by way of approbation or not, this truthful chronicle ventures no opinion. Denison looked at the flushed face and glittering eyes of the Doctor, moved uneasily in his chair, and said: "What's up, Doctor? I never knew you to drink. Getting off?" tapping his os frontis with his forefinger significantly.

"Denison," replied the Doctor, unheeding the innuendoes of his friend, "I tell you that I have a plan for going to, and returning from, the North Pole with perfect safety, absolute certainty, and a degree of comfort that will reduce the whole expedition to the level of a glorious picnic." Denison indulged in a long, low whistle.

"Draw it a little milder, Doctor. Go to and return from the North Pole with perfect safety, certainty, comfort, and pleasure! What do you mean? I never heard of anything so preposterous in my life!"

"Hitch up to the desk here, and I will soon tell you what I mean," cried the Doctor. Denison complied, and the Doctor, seizing a pencil, drew upon a leaf of the scratch book, with a few vigorous strokes, a sketch of a globe, thus:

"There," said he, as he gave a few finishing touches. "There you have the idea."

"Well, go on."

"This sketch represents a mammoth globe of aluminum, two hundred feet in diameter, as you will notice.

"I see," assented Denison.

"We have, then, a great hollow globe, consisting, as I said before, of aluminum. I have chosen that material for two obvious reasons; lightness and strength. The globe is simply to be floated by heating the atmosphere within it."

"What will you heat it with, and how long do you suppose it will be before your globe returns to the earth?" asked Denison.

"Your questions are quite practical, and I am ready to answer them. There are to be three skins or coverings to our globe, with a foot of space (or air blanket, if you please) between them. This affords us two air chambers that materially prevent the radiation of heat. Once heated, a very little fuel will keep the interior of our great air-ship at the desired temperature. You see, at the inferior or lower part of the ship, a square apartment attached, plentifully supplied with windows. That represents the living and store rooms. The living rooms are to be comfortably furnished, and no reason can be alleged why we should not enjoy in them absolute comfort. In our store-rooms, we will carry one year's supply of food. And in tanks of sufficient size, petroleum (or whatever combustible we conclude to be most suitable) for heating and cooking purposes. See?"

"I see," said Denison.

"You will observe that so conservative of heat is this arrangement that every particle of caloric created in the living rooms, or cabin below, helps by that much to float the great globe. All the warmth from cooking and heating; the heat and smoke from our pipes and cigars; yea, even the animal heat which radiates from our bodies, all subserve the one great purpose and function-keeping up the temperature and buoyant effort of the globe. Do you begin to catch on?" fairly shouted the enthusiastic Doctor.

"Well, it looks very well so far," returned Denison slowly. "But, my dear sir, I foresee one difficulty that in your enthusiasm you seem to have overlooked. You can never guide or steer this immense ship. It must go with the wind, and you are just as likely to go to the South Pole as to the North, and very unlikely to go to either. You must excuse me, but this last is certainly an insuperable obstacle to your making anything practicable of your idea."

"I admit at once that this great body could not be steered, nor in any degree guided by any apparatus that we could devise," assented the Doctor. "But that we should be obliged to float aimlessly, hither and thither, altogether the creatures of chance, I do not for a moment admit. The equator, receiving as it does, the vertical rays of the sun, is by far the hottest portion of the earth. The atmosphere at that quarter, being constantly superheated and correspondingly rarified, ascends into the vault above. This creates a semi-vacuum below, and the cooler atmospheres north and south of the equator rush in and fill the aforesaid vacuum. Pouring in from opposite directions with an impetus that often amounts to hurricanes, they boil up as they meet, miles into the firmament above. They then set off in two strong currents toward either Pole. What is the natural inference? The navigators of our air-ship have the power to raise and lower at pleasure. Obviously, there is but one thing for sensible men to do: Let her rise until we strike a northerly current, if necessary, and remain in it so long as it is favorable; when it changes, rise or lower until another favorable current is found, etc. Do you happen to think of any more 'insuperable' obstacles, my dear sir?"

"Well, I must say that while I am not convinced of the practicability of your scheme, still you meet my objections in a way that is quite surprising, and which shows that you have given the matter much thought; yet I am not sure that you will not run upon difficulties that will make it altogether impossible. For instance, there is the cost of so vast an undertaking. It would cost hundreds of thousands, at the least calculation."

"Now, Denison, you have struck the only real difficulty that I can think of. I really have no idea of who will furnish the money. I had not thought even of asking anyone to do so."

Patients came in at this juncture, and Denison took his departure. A few days later, however, he returned, and when the Doctor was at leisure, opened the conversation by asking if anything had developed with regard to the air-ship building.

"O, ho!" cried Dr. Jones, "you are getting into my way of thinking on that subject, are you?"

"Well, to tell you the truth, I have thought of it considerably since I saw you. I would like, at least, to see it tried."

"There is but one way to do: If you get interested sufficiently to wish to take hold, we will see if we cannot stir up our friends and form a stock company. Or, failing in that, we might have a working model built, and I think we could induce the Government to take hold of the matter."

Denison called frequently during the following month, and it was evident that he was fast becoming imbued with the Doctor's ideas and enthusiasm.

* * *

Two Men Resolve to Go Picnicking.

One afternoon, the Doctor being at leisure, he and Denison talked long and earnestly of their never-failing theme, the aluminum globe. Denison finally said:

"You know, Doctor, that I never go into anything without due consideration. I have studied this matter over carefully, and am willing to chance it with you. We have been acquainted a great many years, and I never knew you to make any bad breaks. I have nothing else to do at present, and have a few thousands that I am willing to risk in this business. If I lose it I shall let it go for experience and blame no one but myself."

"Denison, you know very well that I would not lead you into anything that would do you an injury, financially or otherwise, for anything in the world. I had not thought, indeed, of asking you to take any part or stock in this scheme. I believe in it with all my soul, but had not allowed myself to seriously think of promoting or investing in it. You had better think of it for a while longer."

"As I told you," returned Denison, "I have given it very serious thought for several weeks. I have every confidence in the world in you, and my mind is thoroughly made up now that I wish to go with you into this enterprise. You know that since my wife died I have done little or nothing. I have no family to occupy my mind, and this is the first time since her death that I have felt any interest in anything. It took something extraordinary, like your scheme, to wake me up. So here I am, Doctor, yours for the North Pole!"

"Well, old friend, you are a man of the right spirit," said Dr. Jones, taking him by the hand, "and I am willing to do with you what we can to get the Government interested in this matter. What shall be our first move?"

"How can you leave your business or get any time to do anything in this undertaking?" asked Denison.

"I will tell you: I have been right here, at the old stand, for twenty-odd years. In all that time I have never taken a vacation of any sort. I have for years been intending to do so, but something always prevented. Now I have an opportunity to put a good man into my place, and I feel the necessity of taking a rest of a year or so. This looks like just the chance for me. So you may consider that question settled. Now, what shall be our first move?"

"Since we are each determined to take hold of this venture, Doctor, I suppose that the first thing will be to get an architect to figure on the thing, and give us necessary figures and data. And I have just the man-Will Marsh, office on Main Street. He is an extraordinary fellow, a real genius, and a gentleman in every sense of the word. Let's see him right away. I'm catching your spirit of enthusiasm, Doctor, and what does a man amount to without enthusiasm in this age of the world?"

"Well, of course, the enthusiast is numbered with the cranks," replied Dr. Jones. "But, Denison, the cranks are the only men who accomplish anything of note in this world. I have really great respect for cranks, if they only are honest and not too abusive. So we may as well anticipate the dear public, and enroll ourselves among the cranks."

"All right," returned Denison, "'Sail on!' as Joaquin Miller has Columbus say to the faint-hearted sailing master. 'The North Pole or bust!' is my motto now."

"That's right, that's right," grinned the Doctor, amused to see the enthusiasm he had aroused in his friend. "And now let's to business. I am ready to go with you and see the architect."

So together they walked to the office of that gentleman. They found him in and at leisure, and they immediately opened their business to him. The Doctor took the lead, Denison occasionally offering a suggestion. Mr. Marsh proved to be a good listener, jotting down the items as they were given him, and they made excellent progress. Evidently Dr. Jones had studied the subject very thoroughly, for he gave measurements and specifications with a readiness and accuracy that were surprising.

"And now, Mr. Marsh, there are doubtless some important points that have not occurred to me, and which you will discover. What we want at present is an approximate estimate of the cost, carrying and floating capacity of our globe. I think you have the idea as nearly as we can give it, and please let us know all about it as soon as possible," said Dr. Jones as they were about to depart.

"I will do so, sir," replied the architect, "but you understand that your project is so extraordinary-if I may be allowed to say so-that it will require several days before I can give you any definite information. I must go to the city and ascertain the prices of material, etc."

"We understand that, Mr. Marsh; only please do not neglect to attend to it immediately."

With this parting injunction they bade him good-day and departed, each to his home.

* * *

Mrs. Jones Offers Some Objections.

But Dr. Jones met great opposition in a quarter that was not so easily disposed of. He had a wife. Mrs. Jones was a very intelligent and lovely woman, younger by some fifteen years than the Doctor. She must be consulted. He broached the subject very cautiously, now and then expatiating upon the extreme ease and comfort with which the trip to the North Pole might be made. He bought histories of the many Arctic explorations, and read them aloud to her. At first she listened indifferently, not dreaming for a moment that the Doctor was burning with a desire to become an Arctic explorer. Day after day he enlarged and dilated upon his plan. Denison often dropped in of an evening, and the conversation invariably drifted into the old topic, the aluminum globe and the trip to the North Pole.

One evening the architect, Mr. Marsh, with a large paper roll in his hand, came with Denison to the Doctor's residence. After the usual greetings the Doctor said, "Mrs. Jones, I think we will take possession of the dining-room, as we wish to use the table. Come in with us, for I am sure that you are greatly interested in the business we have on hand to-night."

Mrs. Jones good-naturedly complied, and sat engaged with some knitting, while the roll brought by the architect was spread upon the table, and weights laid upon its corners. The two schemers gave a cry of delight as a truly magnificent sketch of the globe unfolded before their eyes. Floating in the firmament, thousands of feet above the earth, with a panoramic view of forests, lakes, rivers, mountains and hill elevations, fruitful valleys thickly dotted with towns, villages, farms, little specks that represented houses, green fields, etc., fading away into indistinctness in the far distances of the horizon, all done with such patient and faithful regard for detail and artistic appreciation of color and perspective, that Mrs. Jones joined in the chorus of expressions of unqualified admiration. It was done in water colors, and the enraptured Doctor seized one end of it and cried: "Take hold of one end, Denison, and help me hold it up against the wall. There, Maggie! Denison! Did you ever see anything so absolutely beautiful?"

They declared that they never had. The artist, meantime, stood with flushed cheek, his arms folded across his breast, modest and quiet.

"Get tacks and a hammer, Maggie, and we'll fasten it to the wall; then we can all sit and enjoy this glorious panorama."

The painting was quickly tacked up in a position for inspection, and all sat admiringly before it.

"By the way, Mr. Marsh, you must have done something in the line of aeronautism, or you never could have made that painting," observed the Doctor.

"No, Doctor, I have never made any balloon ascensions, but I have climbed many mountains, both in Europe and America, and have made numerous sketches from vast elevations. I have simply drawn upon these for my material, and in this painting you have a blending of several of them. Of course, I have taxed my imagination to some extent. The central object, the globe, air-ship, or whatever you may be pleased to call it, is your own conception, or my conception of your idea."

"Well, I am more than pleased with your work. Your execution has so far transcended my idea that I take no credit at all in this instance. But now we must never rest until we have materialized this splendid conception."

So they sat admiring and chatting over the painting some little time.

"Well, Marsh, have you anything more to show us to-night?" asked Denison.

"Yes," he replied, "I have some figures and data that I received from the city a day or two since."

Drawing their chairs about the table, Mr. Marsh read from a small memorandum-book estimate prices of materials, amount and weight of same, cost of labor, and finally what he deemed to be the approximate cost of the globe complete, furnished and equipped for a one year's voyage.

"I have some suggestions to offer, Doctor. You spoke of having three skins or envelopes of aluminum, with air chambers between them that would prevent the radiation of heat. Now, I think that we can do better than that, though without doubt your idea is practical and would answer the purpose; yet I have a plan to offer that will dispense with one envelope, and will more effectually conserve heat. Zinc is the best nonconductor of heat that I know of. One thin layer of this metal within a few inches of the external covering of aluminum will serve you a much better purpose and will greatly reduce the cost of construction."

This suggestion met with the immediate approval of the Doctor and Denison. They talked and planned until quite a late hour. After the departure of the two men Mrs. Jones said:

"Are you seriously thinking of going into this wild scheme, Doctor?"

"Well, Maggie, what do you think of it? Don't you see how perfectly feasible and beautiful it is?"

"Why, so far as I know, it may do well enough. But how can you do anything with it, and what good would it do you if you could?"

"My dear Maggie! How can you ask such a question! Think of the glory of accomplishing that which has defeated some of the best and bravest men that the world has ever produced. And think of the importance this accomplishment might be to science. Is the undying fame that would attach to such a deed to be lightly esteemed? Oh, my dear wife! you know how steadily and conscientiously I have labored all these years. More than a quarter of a century have I devoted to the care of the sick, with scarcely a moment's recreation. The time has come when I feel that I must take a vacation. Further than this, I feel that I can do the world greater service with my idea of reaching the North Pole, besides settling a question as to the possibility of aerial navigation for long distances. How can I better spend a year or so than in the promotion of this idea? Be a good, brave little wife, as you always have been, and don't oppose me in this thing upon which my heart is set."

"And who is to sail this great balloon, or air-ship?"

"Well, as the Dutch captain said when the harbor inspector asked 'Who is the captain of this ship?' 'I ish de feller!'"

With these words he assumed a melodramatic attitude. But Mrs. Jones was not to be won by any facetiae, and walked up to him, placing her hands upon his shoulders, said: "Do you think for one moment that I will ever consent to your going off on so fearfully perilous an expedition as this? How I should feel to see you sail off into the blue sky, with an almost absolute certainty of never seeing you again! I should go insane. What would my days and nights be, even though you went and returned in all the safety you anticipate? I should go insane in less than a week with anxiety. Do as you please so far as promoting the construction of the globe is concerned, but never will I consent to your going in it."

"Maggie, Maggie, don't be so foolish. I do not intend going until I have perfectly satisfied you that I am not more safe in our home than I should be in our great ship."

"All right!" she cried. "You are not to go, then, until I freely consent."

"O, hold on!" he answered. "Don't construe me so ungenerously. I only said that I would first convince you of my safety."

"That you can never do, and you may as well give it up. It cannot be a safe undertaking. It makes me faint to even think of it. Just imagine yourself in that cabin now," pointing to Marsh's painting that still hung upon the wall.

"I wish to heaven I was," growled the Doctor.

"I just won't hear another word of it!" and she flounced out of the room to bed.

* * *