Dirty Secret: Bound By My Professor's Desire

Silvana was no longer certain of the hour, only that midnight had already claimed the sky. Fatigue clung to her like a second skin and her legs felt like soft jelly trembling against the asphalt as she made her way home. Then a sound emerged from the darkness on her right. It resembled heavy breathing. With innocent logic she assumed someone must be wounded for the sound carried the rhythm of pain and resistance.

Until suddenly that noise shifted into a drawn out moan. Shock rushed through her and her cheeks flushed instantly. She was not naïve. She understood enough about the private matters of men and women to recognize such a sound.

Without realizing it, her steps drifted toward the source. To her right sat a bar she had never once cared to look at. Yet the sound came not from the bar itself but from a narrow alley wedged between that place and a row of shuttered storefronts. The moans softened, a woman's voice breathing them out. Curiosity hooked its claws into her. How skilled must the man be to elicit sounds like that?

Silvana knew this was wrong. She knew creeping toward the alley and peeking inside was a bizarre violation she would never have imagined committing in her life. But then she saw them. Two silhouettes caught in silver moonlight, pressed against the wall and moving with wild abandon.

The woman was pinned to the bricks and the air trembled with their urgent breathing. Her moans intensified until the man covered her mouth with his hand to silence her but neither of them realized they had an audience.

"Fuck..." the man growled in a low baritone. Silvana's skin prickled and a chill danced along her spine. She recognized that voice.

The woman kept hissing beneath his touch but Silvana no longer cared about her. She needed to confirm what she already feared. She crouched closer, just enough to go unnoticed but close enough to satisfy her suspicion. The man's skin gleamed bronze beneath the moon and his legs were powerful. A sling bag lay discarded at his feet, one she knew all too well. Sir Leon's. She could swear it with absolute certainty. She observed him every day in class, studying the handsome professor's presence with secret hunger.

This could not be real. A man revered for his dignity on campus allowing himself to behave like this in public. If she told Jiyya, her friend would sooner slap her than believe such a thing. This was a private moment; she should have slipped away before they discovered a young woman spying on them. Yet even with that rational voice in her mind, Silvana remained rooted to the earth.

Instead she allowed herself to gaze at her professor's body while he tangled with the woman pressed against the wall. Every carved muscle revealed itself beneath the moon, no longer hidden by the cursed dress shirts he always wore. Tonight his sleeves were rolled to the elbows and scars traced the length of his forearms, marks that somehow deepened his allure. Silvana's breath hitched and her curiosity bloomed. The woman's clothes were in disarray but Leon remained mostly dressed save for trousers hanging lower on his hips.

A strange heat coiled in Silvana's belly, spreading downward until her body felt unbearably warm. Disgust flickered in her thoughts. She needed to leave now. But as she turned, a sharp chorus of bodies meeting echoed through the alley.

"You're burning up," the man murmured.

Silvana's face flared hot at the sound of his voice from within the narrow gap. And once again she made the foolish choice to look back. It was as though his voice itself commanded her to remain, to witness every forbidden second.

"You're perfect. I knew it the moment I saw you. Nghh.... Ahhh!" The woman's cry tangled with his words. Silvana could not see her expression but her posture revealed everything, surrendering utterly to the moment. Their bodies found their summit together and the invisible wave of it left the alley humming.

Silvana's entire body tingled watching the scene unfold. She did not know who the woman was but envy struck her heart. To have Sir Leon to herself, even for a single night, seemed an impossible stroke of luck.

She had once entertained harmless interest in her professor before burying the notion as absurd. He was older, unreachable. But now she feared she would have to dig up the grave of that desire. Already a cold jealousy washed over her ribs.

"So good," the woman sighed, voice tinged with theatrical sweetness.

"I only do what I always do," Leon replied, his tone rougher than usual. Silvana's stomach twisted again at the sound.

Silvana continued to watch them mostly him. Sir Leon crouched to retrieve something from the sling bag at his feet. He drew out a cigarette and a lighter.

He lit it with practiced ease. The woman beside him remained a blurred shape against the wall, made fuzzier by the weak lighting. Yet Silvana felt certain the woman was not more beautiful than she was. Why had it been this stranger who received the chance Silvana spent months quietly dreaming of?

Her attention shifted back to Leon as he held the cigarette between his lips, then plucked it away with two fingers in a gesture so simple and effortless. Somehow that tiny movement appeared sensual in a way she had never seen before. Why had she never noticed any of it until now?

Her awe lasted only a heartbeat before heat darker than desire rose in her chest. Jealousy flared the moment Leon leaned forward and placed the cigarette, still warm from his mouth, between the woman's lips. His hand patted her head with such fondness that Silvana almost hissed aloud. That gesture had once been hers he had done the same when she earned a perfect score on an impossibly difficult test.

"Will we meet again?" the woman whispered with a hopeful tremor, clinging to the cigarette as if afraid he might reclaim it.

"No idea," Leon replied. He slung the bag over his broad shoulder and walked away without looking back. Without waiting. Without care. Silvana exhaled in relief when he headed in the opposite direction rather than toward her hiding place.

Only after he disappeared did Silvana truly look at the woman, slumped against the grimy alley wall still sucking at the cigarette Leon had placed between her lips. A sudden unreasonable anger flooded Silvana at the sight.

She had the absurd urge to snatch the cigarette right out of the woman's mouth. Of course she did not. She could not. When the scene finally dissolved into silence Silvana forced herself to continue her interrupted walk home.

It was a mad night. Her feet carried her along familiar streets yet her mind still lingered on every image she had witnessed. Even as she reached her house even as she entered her room she could not stop imagining herself in that woman's place feeling his hands and hearing his voice so close to her skin.

She admitted it to herself. She had lost her senses. Only this afternoon she had jokingly told Jiyya that older men were more experienced. Tonight reality had offered proof. "What kind of spectacle was that? He was unbelievable!"

"Would you like something to drink, Sir Leon?"

"Huh? Ah... no need. But if you want one for yourself, go ahead. Although it is not necessa–"

Leon froze as soon as he realized the beautiful student beside him had already slipped away toward the vending machine in the campus cafeteria. Their session today was held outside the classroom. Leon and Jarvis both turned to watch Silvana, eyebrows raised in unison.

"Tch..." Jarvis was the first to react. The young man wrinkled his nose and shook his head as they observed Silvana bowing toward the machine. Her hips tilted back slightly as she pressed the buttons. A clear provocation meant to draw the attention of every male in a ten meter radius. Silvana had always known the silent language of her own body and how to wield it.

Leon quickly averted his gaze though any healthy man would have called the sight a blessing served freely by fate. Yet apparently the sky was safer to stare at than the shapely backside of a student under his guidance.

Her behavior had been strange around him since several semesters ago and today it reached new heights. Leon felt sure the source of this nonsense was the young man beside him. Jarvis was gifted the sort of prodigy everyone whispered about on campus. Bright, promising, handsome enough. Leon could understand why Silvana might act like this around him.

What confused him was why she needed to throw that bait while Leon himself was still sitting there. Silvana was usually blunt and straightforward when it came to her personal interests. Was it because she and Jarvis had known each other so long that she feared ruining whatever existed between them? If so, that was the dullest story ever told in the chronicles of love.

Silvana swayed her hips as she walked back and Leon shifted his eyes toward Jarvis instead.

"Jarvis, do you know what is going on with Silvana?"

Jarvis only grumbled and shoved his hands into his pockets. "Silvana is just Silvana. Complicated. Forget about it."

Leon exhaled and shook his head at his favorite student. He stole another discreet look toward Silvana. The girl was wearing an outrageously tight skirt that barely qualified as decent. Her pale thighs were left exposed for every hungry pair of eyes on campus. Did she not feel the slightest fear?

"But she has been acting strange for a while now," Leon murmured. He glanced at Jarvis again. "Do you not think you should do something about it?"

Jarvis' brows drew together at the question. He stared at Leon for a long moment with a bewildered expression. "What?"

"Well, I know you two have been friends for years. From what I heard you are childhood friends. Sometimes friendship is just the stepping stone before a relationship begins. You know how it is"

"Sir Leon, she is not doing that stupid show for me," Jarvis cut him off. He clicked his tongue again. "I hate to say this, but even though you are older and supposedly more experienced, how are you still so blind to something this obvious?"

Leon was genuinely bewildered now. What was wrong with the youth of this generation? They moved with too much knowledge, too many secrets folded between their words and glances. It made him oddly curious about whatever existed between these two students of his that he had clearly missed.

"Where is the other one?" he asked instead, choosing to change the subject entirely. If he lingered on the previous topic, he would only drown in confusion.

"She didn't come. She said she wasn't feeling well," answered a feminine voice from Silvana, who had somehow materialized at his side again. She set three canned drinks onto the table then sat down right beside him, looping her arm casually around his. She offered him a small, feline smile as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

Jarvis could only shake his head at the display. Sometimes he truly could not comprehend his childhood friend's behavior at all. Even her blatant attempts to lure the professor were met with polite indifference. Sir Leon was utterly oblivious.

The truth was that Silvana's interest in Leon was not exactly breaking news to Jarvis. She had confessed it to him back in her very first semester. She had said plainly that she liked a handsome, charismatic young professor. Jarvis knew Silvana's nature well she would chase her target until victory or exhaustion struck. By now, who knew how long she had been struggling against this fascination of hers? Apparently, she had not given up.

Look at her now staring at Leon with admiration so rich it could be poured from a cup. Eyes sharp, hungry, and eager to be consumed and to consume in return. The adult man beside her remained unaware while she continued to maneuver closer, unveiling her intentions inch by inch. Jarvis considered it mildly distasteful but not enough for him to care. It was not his circus nor his war. Whether his professor would ever catch the signal was another story entirely.

And Silvana did not stand alone in that battlefield. There was Ms. Kelly a name often whispered around campus. Rumor had it she was frequently seen entering and leaving Leon's apartment. And she was not the only one. Jarvis smirked to himself. His professor was a bastard when it came to matters like this.

"Silvana!" called a voice that pulled the attention of all three. A girl approached them briskly. It was Jiyya.

"Hey. What's up? You done with class?"

Jiyya did not answer. Her eyes locked instead onto Silvana's arm still wrapped in a leisurely coil around Leon's. 'Dear God my friend was born to be a bad bitch,' she thought with quiet despair. The short-haired girl shifted her gaze to Leon.

"Hello, Jiyya," he greeted, earning a polite nod and a sweet, practiced smile.

Silvana eyed her friend suspiciously. Something was clearly wrong and Silvana was not the type to ignore signals when someone she cared about was in need.

"Jiyya, do you need to talk to me about something private?" Silvana asked, assuming control of the situation with her usual precision. Jiyya looked slightly relieved at being understood so quickly.

"Yes. But it looks like you're busy. Maybe another time."

"Hey please I am never too busy when it comes to you." Silvana replied lightly, flashing an innocent smile at her friend before turning her gaze to Jarvis and Leon. "I should go. Try not to miss me too much."

"We'll try but no promises," Leon answered with a broad grin, lifting his hand in a casual wave. Silvana blushed at that grin while Jarvis rolled his eyes so hard they nearly left orbit. He glanced once more at his professor who was still watching Silvana without the faintest trace of comprehension. Was the man truly that oblivious?

"Tch..." was all Jarvis offered before the two girls slipped away.

They walked out of the cafeteria and of course Silvana made certain her hips swayed with dangerous purpose. Jiyya knew exactly who that little performance was meant for. Her brow lifted high.

"There is something wrong with your brain. Walking like that in front of Sir Leon. Do you not feel shame?" Jiyya declared loudly once they were far enough from the table.

"At least I have guts and someone worth showing my sexy walk to with sexy booty." Silvana retorted with smug satisfaction. "Hey tell me is he still looking at me?"

Jiyya rolled her eyes but still obeyed the ridiculous question, stealing a look over her shoulder toward Leon. "I have no idea."

Silvana groaned. "God what is wrong with that man? Is he really made of stone? Does he not see all the effort I am putting in?"

"Will you stop acting like that? You are embarrassing me!" Jiyya hissed.

"Impossible." Silvana flicked her hair with theatrical pride as they moved toward the campus garden.

"You really are a menace."

"I am simply a woman who knows what I wants, my dear Jiyya."

Leon let out a low groan as he threw himself onto the bed the moment his apartment door slid shut behind him. The motorcycle keys he had been holding flew from his fingers and landed somewhere on the table near the bed without grace or ceremony.

His whole body ached as if he had wrestled with the day rather than merely endured it. There was no particular reason for such weariness except perhaps the foolish habit of falling out of bed in his sleep and waking up on the floor like a defeated soldier. No wonder every muscle protested now.

"Ugh..." he muttered, rubbing the back of his neck. Thirst lingered stubbornly at the edges of his senses. Sleep could wait a moment longer.

He rose and padded toward the kitchen. Glass, water, and then a single swallow that was too eager, letting droplets trail from his chin down to his shirt. With a quiet breath he stripped the shirt away, letting it drop to the floor where it joined the mess of the day. Bare-chested, he set the glass down and wandered back to the bed.

The dim light revealed a body forged by years of discipline, hard to the eye yet pleasingly soft beneath curious hands according to the whispers of those who had shared his sheets. He glanced at the clock on the wall. Four hours before he was due to meet the boys at the bar. Time stretched long and dull in front of him.

Leon lay down again, head against the wall, eyelids sliding shut. His hand slipped beneath the fabric of his trousers, the lazy gesture of a man attempting to stave off boredom with temptation. His mind tried to summon the proper muse.

Kelly came first. Efficient Kelly, immaculate Kelly, the administrative darling of the university. She was single, lovely, and far more daring than her composed exterior suggested. Their strange bond had waltzed at the border of propriety for months. She turned down dates for the sake of professionalism, yet somehow never refused his apartment, or the warmth of his bed, or the tangled limbs and whispered sighs that followed.

He remembered the last time. Kelly kneeling on the bedroom floor, or when they making love. The memory of her flushed face and roguish gaze was almost too vivid. It made his breath shudder as he reached into the bedside drawer for a bit of lotion, using it to smooth his shameful indulgence. He let the imagined heat of that moment guide him deeper. Soon he was lost in it, until a soft laugh echoed somewhere in the back of his skull.

Leon knew that voice. It was Silvana.

"Fuck," he hissed as Kelly dissolved, replaced by a different image entirely.

Silvana crouched before him in that dangerous corner of his imagination, eyes wide and innocent, yet burning with a hunger she did not even know how to hide. His hand tightened instinctively around himself, moving faster before pausing as if to protest the madness of it.

He had intended to stop. He really had. Yet fantasy never bowed to reason. In his mind Silvana leaned in, attempting to please him with bold devotion, her voice stumbling over his name as though even saying it could send tremors through her. Her gaze fogged with desire, cheeks flushed with reckless heat.

Leon could not withstand it. Pleasure spiraled through him like wildfire, and his own rhythm grew frantic beneath the weight of that imagined intimacy.

"Oh... fuck," he breathed, as the picture of his beautiful student tried desperately to take him fully, struggling in a way that was at once charming and wickedly arousing. It was too sweet a torment to resist. Sensation flooded him, spreading with ease and without mercy.

A rough sound tore from his throat as release hit him, warm across his abdomen. His hand fell away, leaving him collapsed and panting. Sweat clung to him, his heartbeat unruly, his vision dazed.

What on earth had he just done? He had let his mind wander into a place no professor should ever tread.

He admitted it silently. Jarvis's recent teasing did not help, for it had planted a tiny, treacherous seed. Curiosity perhaps, laced with forbidden fascination.

And truly, who would not be drawn to her? Silvana possessed a charm that was nearly impossible to ignore. Her presence turned heads. Men agreed upon one thing. She was exceptional. Leon felt it too, though he knew he should never let it cross the lines demanded of him.

The ghost of the fantasy lingered despite his efforts to banish it. He had not expected his own hormones to betray him in such a humiliating fashion.

He shut his eyes and focused on breathing, desperate to chase away the sinful visions. A teacher must not think of his student like that. He must uphold the boundaries that kept the world sane.

"Oh my God," he muttered, staring at the bed now stained by his own doing. Cleaning it would take time and effort. Perhaps more than he had patience for.

"Leon, you absolute idiot," he grumbled as he stripped the sheets away and carried them toward the bathroom, along with his overheated body and whatever scraps of dignity he had left.

***

Silvana let out a soft giggle as she nudged her chosen prey through the doorway of his private apartment. She vaguely remembered him as one of the engineering students. His name had already slipped from her memory. There was something in his demeanor that faintly resembled Sir Leon, though this one was younger and somewhat rigid. Even so, he still fell neatly into the category of a handsome man.

Truthfully, the only reason this was happening at all was because her body's hunger had become impossible to ignore. Had she not stumbled upon him, Silvana would have found another stranger to sate her craving. For her it was simplicity. For him it felt like the universe had granted a wish he did not dare speak aloud.

To discover that Silvana was willingly entering his apartment with the sole intention of fulfilling desire was enough to send his mind spiraling. His disbelief only deepened when she teased him from across the room with a provocative pose.

"Oh fuck," he blurted out. He was not the type to say his thoughts out loud, yet tonight seemed destined to push him out of character.

Silvana merely smiled. In truth, his reaction grated on her nerves a little. She had only leaned back against the sofa, supporting herself on one elbow, nothing more than a languid greeting.

"Come on. Get to work," Silvana said, wiggling her fingers toward a point no man could possibly refuse.