Diary of a Reborn Queen

I pushed open the door to the throne room.

Sebastian looked up from his throne with his eyebrow raised. A look of surprise on his usual emotionless face.

A moment of silence passed between the two of us.

I broke eye contact with him. Head down, I glanced at my new glossy shoes and the fancy ball gown I was wearing, the calm I had momentarily broke. Taking a deep breath, I walked towards him and sat on the smaller throne next to his. It was a throne made of pearl and marble. A throne for the Queen of Arerin.

"You can control water, " he said in his usual cold and clipped tone.

"To a very limited extent."

"You should have plenty of time."

"I... I was dressing up."My voice became softer. Too shy, lack of confidence. The usual problem when I faced King Sebastian.

He was right, I could have been able to escape. Only he was trapped here. But I was sure even if he wasn't trapped, he would not leave his kingdom. He would stay here and looked at every bit of his kingdom fell into ruin like the King he was.

The fire was just around the corner when I entered the throne room. The air was getting hotter. Fumes sneaked passed the door.

"Leave, Liana."

My heart skipped a beat. It's the end of my life and I was happy he said my name? How pathetic I was. I tugged at the sleeves of my ball gown.

"There isn't enough time. And... I'm the Queen of Arerin. I'll stay here. With my King."

I looked up and met his ice-cold eyes.

"You control water."

"Only to a very limited extent."

The huge mahogany door erupted into flames. Fire danced outside the window.

"I can't escape now, " I whispered. "That's the end."

I closed my eyes and tried to bear the intolerable heat and pain. At least I was one of the best dressed queens to be burnt alive.

A cold hand covered my hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. I opened my eyes in surprise and stared into the calm eyes of Sebastian. Pain left me.

And everything turned into ashes.

4th April, XXXX

Is this what afterlife looks like? The exact copy of your past life, but restarting at the point before everything turns into ashes? Giving you another chance to make a totally different choice?

I am back to 4 years ago. The year when I was still 16. Wait... I am 16. My parents and brothers are still alive.

I don't understand what had happened.

But another chance was given to me, I would be a fool not to grasp it. I need to change the future. I will make sure that my beloved family stay alive. I will.

The first thing to do is to break off my engagement with King... Prince Sebastian. People may ask why. Don't you want to be the future Queen? Don't you like Prince Sebastian? I tried in my previous life. I tried. It failed.

I am not and will never be Queen material. I am quiet and awkward around those I am not close with. Even though I learned to disguise my awkwardness in front of guests, I was still not talkative. I was not charming. People didn't like me. Neither did King Sebastian. I was left day in and out in my room when there were no social engagements. He seldom talked to me. I was lonely and sad. And then there were those accidents...

I could stand the loneliness, but the talks and looks... And the fact that he didn't help me even when I begged for help. It's too much. I am not suitable and it's best to break off the engagement before everything starts.

By breaking off the engagement, I could leave the kingdom with my family before tragedy strikes.

But, Sebastian... Sebastian he really does not deserve that kind of ending. He is a good King.

Is there a way telling him everything that will happen in the future without exposing myself?

7th April, XXXX

Breaking off the engagement is going to be hard.

I decided to talk with Mother about my engagement with the prince today. Mother was good friend with late Queen Henrietta, Prince Sebastian's mother. Before the two of them were married, they made a pact. Their children will marry each other. Don't ask me why they did that, but I think that's really stupid. Look at how it turned out for Sebastian and I. However, it's not up to me to decide. And to put it politely (since one should not say bad things about the late Queen nor one's mother), the late Queen and my mother are both... bubbly.

When Queen Henrietta was pregnant with Sebastian and Mother with my brother, Adrian, they were already planning their wedding. (To be quite honest, they were planning Sebastian and Adrian's wedding, so Adrian should be the one marrying him, not me.) But alas, it turned out Adrian is a boy. Mother was disappointed and rumor has it that Mother was so sure it's a girl, she only bought baby girl clothes. She even wanted to dress Adrian in girl clothes. Father stopped that in time so baby Adrian didn't turn into a boy who once wore baby girl clothes.

2 years later, Mother was pregnant again. The two of them became excited once again. This time Father forbade Mother from buying bunches of baby girl clothes, I guess in the fear that if this turned out to be a boy again, Mother might really dress the baby in girl's clothes. They planned Sebastian and Jesse's wedding, their still very much non existent grandchild's baby shower... Of course, Jesse is a boy. Mother was extremely extremely disappointed.

You see from then on Mother and Queen Henrietta became... obsessed. So when I came 2 years later, if they could I am sure they would throw Sebastian and I together and marry the two of us as soon as I was born. Of course they could not (thankfully and I'm sure that's illegal), Sebastian and I were engaged.

Why was I writing down such detailed episode of Mother and Queen Henrietta's lunacy (no delete that) epic wish? I listened to that extremely detailed and crazy epic tale from my mother just now.

See, I decided to bring up the topic tactfully.

"Mother, you see I am engaged to Prince Sebastian since the very first second I was born... but..."

"Oh yes! You and Sebastian are going to make the loveliest couple!"

Uh-huh... look how we turned out.

"Well... Mother... we are just not close to each other! We don't even talk. We are not even friends. Maybe..."

"What nonsense, you two literally grow up next to each other! You were so talkative whenever he came to play with you!"

I was five. Which child isn't talkative when she is five? I was at an age when I like to make-pretend. All Sebastian did was stand there like a statue.

I admit, we were close once. As in I could talk to him and regard him as my play mate. But that was before Queen Henrietta passed away which happened when I was ten. Since Queen Henrietta's death, Sebastian no longer visited me. Guess what happened to play mates who haven't talked to each other in six years? They became strangers!

"Mother, that was six years ago... Now..."

"Poor Henrietta!" Mother started sobbing. "Back when..."

Mother thus started to tell me her stories with Queen Henrietta and their failed attempt to marry Sebastian with Mother's first and second born.

I knew that I was not their first choice! But did you have to say 'It's such a pity Adrian isn't a girl.'jQuery214032330540627889004_1532995943975jQuery21409165160411740882_1533877342191

Needless to say, my first attempt in breaking off the engagement failed.

Life for a reborn girl is going to be hard.