Desiring Her

Growing up in a religious family has never been easy. I felt like a bird that was unable to fly, wingless trapped in a cage. Controlled like a robot, no freedom at all. With a mother who served in church and a Pastor father, I don't know why I turned out opposite of them.

People around me expect me to be religious more than I was. Some even wished for me to follow my parent's steps. And maybe because of their beliefs, and their tightness in securing my holiness, I felt choked, resulting in me to rebel.

Are we just born to follow our parents' steps? If I could just give them signs before they made me, I would tell them not to have a child- me.

"During my time, I crossed several rivers and high mountains just to make it to university. I didn't want to miss class but now..." the old woman tsked as she shook her head, disappointment was visible on her brown wrinkled skin.

I almost rolled my eyes. Seriously, reminiscing about how hard her life was before at this kind of place?

"I'm not a student anymore, Mrs..." I said for the nth time.

"Don't lie," she insisted. "You look minor to me, prolly you're still a student yet you're here, wasting your potential."

I smirked. Should I take that as a compliment?

"I have lived here in the world for twenty-seven years, Mrs..."

Her mouth hangs open, then she squinted her eyes, obviously thinking that I'm lying, again.

"Really?" Her gray-ish eyebrows shot up.

I nodded. "Yup."

"Amaia Cruiz!" I immediately got up from my seat when I heard my name.

"What?!" I fired back. I walked towards the barrier that hinders me from going out.

The officer raised his hand in the air, showing me the keys.

"You are now free to go home," he announced.

I almost jumped in delight because of it. Finally!

"Thanks, officer!" I salute after.

When he opened the prison, I glanced behind me and saw the old woman smiling at me. She was teary-eyed as if we've been together for so long when I was just detained last night due to illegal car racing.

Shaking my head, I smiled and went out.

I immediately grabbed the sling bag that I surrendered last night in the tray. Then, I walked towards the other officer who's leaning at the edge of the table, crossed-arms while staring at me.

"I'm free? No joke?" I double-checked, combing my hair using my fingers.

He raised his brows which made me stop. I looked down and pursed my lips.

"The prison is quite spacious. If you want to stay longer, feel free," his voice was full of sarcasm.

I pursed my lips more. "Uncle... I didn't know it was illegal..." I reasoned out.

I looked at him through my lashes. He was staring at me with a knotted forehead, eyes filled with frustrations. I tried my best not to laugh even though deep inside, I feel sorry for making him feel anguish.

"Go home now, Aya. I won't tell this to your father."

Raising my head, I nodded wearily. "Okay..."

"The next time you involve yourself in any illegal activities, you'll not be able to get out of the cell, Aya. I'd tell, remember that."

I chuckled then, leered on the table and my eyes glued on the chocolate bar laying there. I peered at my Uncle and smiled shyly.

"May I?" I pointed to the chocolate by pouting my lips.

He just rolled his eyes and scoffed. "Take it and go home."

I smirked and quickly grabbed the chocolate and walked away. My heels ticked on the marble floor with every step I made, the red spaghetti romper I'm wearing shouts dominance. Some officers turned their heads in my direction as I walked past them.

When I got out of the police station, I wore my glasses just hanging around my neckline, protecting my eyes against the blazing sun.

I bit the inside of my cheek. I got jailed, again. Shaking my head, I took my phone out of my bag and swiftly dialed a friend's number.

"Hello..." I greeted the moment he answered. "Can you pick me up? I'm just nearby, waiting outside the police station under the sun."

I heard him snort in the other line. I'm sure he knows what happened.

"Today's first day of November. Instead of lighting a candle for those souls we have lost, you chose to sleepover in that stinky place..." I could imagine him rolling his eyes.

"For experience, Sid. Also, I found a new friend." I shrugged, remembering the old woman inside the prison.

"As usual, Aya. As usual..."

I let out a giggle. "Of course, make the best out of it. Who knows? I might plan to sell illegal drugs inside. Connection, Sid." I jokingly said.

I closed my mouth tightly when the officer who walked by glared at me. I just showed him a peace sign and laughed at my silliness.

"Come on, Sid... Pick me up, my tummy's been growling and complaining since last night. I haven't eaten a portion of decent food

"Send me your location," he uttered, which I did right after he hung up.

He arrived in less than ten minutes, driving a Toyota Vios. He blew the horn in front of me which made me step back in shock. I rolled my tongue over my lips and opened the passenger seat and sat there. Before closing the door, I took a picture of the police station.

"That's your fifth collection for this year."

I shrugged before closing the door beside me. I moved the image to the album named Haven.

"To my house, please..." I leaned on the backrest, letting my eyes rest for a moment.

He fastened my seat belt and started driving. I blew a deep breath. All of a sudden, I feel tired from everything that happened yesterday. My whole body is shouting for rest.

"Why don't you try to go out? I will set a date for you," I heard him say.

"No," my voice was firm. "I don't have time for headaches."

"But you have a lot of time ruining your name. You've been going in and out of jail, Aya. Once your family finds out about your activities, you'd be dead meat."

Slowly, I opened my eyes and tilted my head on his side, eyeing him sharply.

"They won't find out if we both keep our mouth shut, right?"

He zipped his mouth and never bothered to say something again. I closed my eyes and waited.

The city isn't the right place for me to live. Toxicities, then cancer family. I don't want to live with people whose roles are to dictate me for what I should and shouldn't do.

That was why I left home.

I decided to live away from the city, hundreds of miles away from my religious family. They just covered up my whereabouts, so people won't question why I left home.

I don't mind though. It's alright that way.

"You always get caught. I wonder how your father reacts once he finds out..."

I let out a playful laugh. "He'd surely freak out."

"Beyond that," he added.

I gazed at him. "They would disown me for sure. But before that, mother would make me kneel on the salt and utter some verses as if I'm being possessed by a demon."

"Why don't you try being..." he formed a halo above his head using his forefinger.

I scoffed. "I wasn't born to follow my parents' step. I would be even more sinful if I served Him against my will."

Since it was already lunch, we stopped over at the restaurant we passed by.

"Enjoy your meal..." it was the server.

I began to eat.

"I saw a truck earlier beside your house. I guess you will have a new neighbor."

I chewed the food. "Really? So, I'm not lonely anymore."

"Hmm..." he nodded. "Just make sure to not cause any trouble in the neighborhood, especially to your neighbor if ever. Be friendly, Aya."

My forehead ceased at his remarks.

"I would hold a welcome party for them if you want."

"I'm reminding you to be nice," he was serious.

"Nye, nye..." I playfully uttered.

True to Sid's words, I saw a big truck parked beside my house when I arrived at the subdivision. A woman was carrying a box, while there was a man, too, who's helping her carry those heavy boxes.

Maybe they're a couple. I frowned.

I was about to enter the gate when I heard a small voice. I ignored it at first but when she pointed out my dress, I stopped on my spot and turned around just to see an adorable kid.

She was waving her cute little hands in my direction while smiling. My lips parted. I'm not fond of children but this girl...

"Hi! I'm Alexin, seven and your new neighbor! I hope we can be friends!" her cute voice filled my ears.

Without warning, a smile made its way to my lips.

"Welcome to the neighborhood, Alexin!" I greeted.

She shyly hid her hands behind her. Her pink dress adds up to her cuteness, and her curly pigtail hair was a little bit messy. She was swaying then after seconds of staring at me, she ran.

I can't help but laugh this time. So adorable. I wonder what her mother looks like. I scratched the thought at the back of my head.

Seriously, Aya?

I have never felt so free until now. The feeling of being freed from the chains that bound me, letting me inhale the smell of freedom was overwhelming. When I was still in my parents' house, I couldn't breathe, it felt as if someone was choking me. But today, those unwanted feelings vanished.

New home, Summerville. I smiled at my thoughts.

Today is actually the seventh year since I left home. I could barely remember what happened on the day I left but, it was the best decision I have ever made. I never felt an ounce of regrets even though leaving meant losing the luxurious life I had before but, it was fine. From rich to rags taught me how to manage myself on my own.

Also, it made me steel. I considered myself a strong independent woman after everything I've been through.

I tied my hair in a messy bun before sitting on the long sofa, pulling the sleeves over my hands then grabbed the mug resting on the center table. The sweet aroma of coffee taking over my senses, inviting, and uplifting.

"The smell of freshly baked bread almost reached my house..."

I raised my head to look at Sid who just got out from the kitchen, chewing the food he mentioned. Again, he was overreacting.

"Don't you have plans for today? You've been sleeping here for two days." I sipped on my coffee.

"You've been hibernating here for two days, too. Can't I do the same?" He reached for the remote and sat beside me, placing a throw pillow on his thighs.

"You have your own house," I stated in a matter-of-fact. "And it's the weekend, so I don't have work. Ever heard of a day off? Unlike you who's needed twenty-four-seven in your family-owned company."

"Gosh..." He blew a deep breath and changed channels after channels. "I need a break. Being a high profile is no joke."

"A high-profile living here in a small subdivision." I chuckled. Sid and I have been friends since we were seven. We knew each other's deep secret, even him being gay. Although a lot of people noticed it, he still hasn't confirmed it.

Well, he loves to leave people clueless. We honestly hate it if someone invades our personal life. I mean, who doesn't? As for me, no one would be curious as everyone knows that I'm just a lowkey residence here in Summerville. Unlike him...

"Have you seen your neighbor?" he questioned.

I look at him through my peripheral vision. I gulped the liquid down to my throat before shaking my head, slowly.

"It's kinda strange though..." I flicked my tongue. "It's been a week since they settled here but, I haven't heard any noise. Are they uh... some kind of mute or they are just really that quiet?"

I don't know who lives next door. Alexin, the adorable kid never showed up or maybe I was too busy that I wasn't able to see her outside their home. Aside from her, I don't know who's else living in the room next door. The woman and the guy I saw before... Are they Alexin's parents?

My forehead knotted, silently dismissing the thought. My eyes were just fixed on the brown-ish yet creamy liquid on my cup.

"Oh god, Aya..." he sounded disappointed. I turned my head to look at him, my brows furrowed.

"What? I didn't bother to check as first and foremost, I'm not interested. I don't want any parasites in my life, you know. Like who knows what those people are capable of?" I rolled my eyes, slightly feeling guilty after realizing my words.

Alex was a nice kid. She greeted and hoped to be friends with me. Her presence alone made me feel at ease at that time when I felt worn out. Yet I dare to judge someone's parents' without even knowing them first. I bit the side of my cheek.

"Look at your face..." Sid teased, making a face that made him look like a sad potato. "Your eyes are about to bawl out. But you don't even shed a tear when a police cuff your hands."

"That's different..." I darted my gaze somewhere, pursing my lips.

"You haven't seen her, that means you still don't know her."

"Yes, and still don't have the interest to know her." I slowly tilted my head, eyeing him suspiciously. "I guess you know my neighbor. Your gossip side took place, eh?"

"Of course!" He flipped his imaginary long hair. "The neighborhood is too small for rumors, Aya. Every gossip reached my house, unlike yours. Not only your door is closed, but your ears, too. Jeez."

"Is it my fault that irrelevant rumors don't interest me at all?" I squint my eyes at him.

He tsked and stood up, then looked at me confidently. I let out a chuckle and finished my coffee before reaching for the remote, turning the television off. Placing the mug on the center table, I stood up and stretched my arms. Sid was still looking at me as if I'd wronged him.

"What?"

"Up for something fun?"

"Fun what...?" I slowly lowered my arms, confusion was visible on my face. Usually, I'm the one who always pursues him to have fun. Clubs, and even went to gay clubs which I don't want to remember. That was fun but, I don't want to enter gay clubs again! Never.

"Jeez..." He sighed deeply. "Like going out? Hibernating done, bitch. Let me take you somewhere else."

"It's morning, for god's sake. I don't wanna go out."

"Should I ask our neighbor to look after you, then?'

My upper lip rose up. "What am I? Seven? Gosh. This is annoying," I blurted out, waving my hand to dismiss the conversation. "It's windy and cold outside, too. The best time to sleep all day, eat my favorite junk food, and watch movies."

"So, you will just stay here all day?"

"Yup," I said, popping the p. "Go and enjoy. Beep me if something happens, okay?"

He pouted his lips and eventually nodded. "Lock all the doors and windows."

"Of course, go and take care." I shooed him away. "Enjoy the day and please sleep at your house tonight. I don't have enough resources to keep you alive," I joked, which made him laugh.

His greediness in food isn't obvious because of his muscular and toned body. This guy is living his life at the gym.

Well, who wouldn't be motivated if his eyes were always blessed with those gals in the nearby gym? He droll every time we go there. He would even take a picture secretly.

"I could help you financially with that."

I crossed my arms above my chest and looked at him lazily. "Go," I said without sound.

"So mean..." He pursed his lips and turned his back from me, then walked away.

I could feel the heaviness on every step he makes. I shook my head and grabbed the pillow from the sofa, then threw it in his direction, targeting his head. He turned around.

"Don't sulk. Go and have fun with boys!" I suggested. He stared at me weirdly, ruffling his hair before showing me his thumb.

"I will!"

v When Sid left, I cleaned the whole house and dressed myself up with my usual clothes. Demin shorts and a faux wrap sweater with a brown round leather shoulder bag. I just wore a white sneaker and tied my long wavy brown hair in half-up, letting some strands escape to frame both sides of my face.

I blew a deep breath as I leered on my own reflection. My people need me at this frigid time.

Grabbing the car keys on the side table, I walked out of my house and was about to enter my car when my eyes caught something. Slowly, I turned around to face the house beside me. The cloud was too clear despite the windy weather but the light on their porch was still on. I could see the dancing curtain through their glass window.

I tilted my head. As far as I remember, the light was off yesterday. So, it means that Alex and her family...

"Gosh, I'm not interested..." I said nonchalantly. I went inside my car and drove off to the nearby cafe.

"Good morning! How's everyone doing?" I clapped my hands once to catch their attention.

They stopped their business for a while and smiled at me cheerfully. Everyone was wearing a sweater and jacket under their uniform. I don't mind though as the weather's too cold that my fingers feel numb because of it.

"Good morning, Ms. Aya!" One of my staff, Lin greeted cheerfully. "Coffee?"

"Thanks, Lin. But I had a coffee at home," I politely declined. "I think we won't have that many customers today due to the weather. Are there any deliveries?"

"Yes, Ms. Aya but unfortunately, Mr. Bernard won't make it today because his wife's in labor. He brought the motorcycle with him but don't worry, we already contacted someone. He must be here in less than ten minutes."

"That won't do. Customers would be enraged if they receive a cold decaf. Give me their orders and address."

"But..." Lin was hesitant but I didn't bother.

"Pack them safely. We don't want to receive bad reviews online, do we?"

"Noted, Ms. Aya!"

"And if the guy you contacted comes in less than ten minutes, give the orders." Lin nodded and proceeded to her tasks. I went to the storage room and fixed my hair. We only have a few customers, it's expected because of the bad weather.

Even though I wanted to stay at home, I was informed by our delivery man that he won't make it today because of his wife, so I had no choice but to replace him for the time being. It was fine though. It's not like I have a lot of people to do the deliveries. My shop isn't that big enough which means I couldn't afford to hire a lot of employees.

"Take care, Ms. Aya!" Lin and others said in unison.

Under the clear sky, I delivered the customers' orders from door-to-door. Some recognized me as the owner of Cafe Time, some didn't. They were also kind enough to give me tips and say thanks for my service.

"Thank you, gorgeous..."

"You're welcome," I said and left their house.

I went inside my car and stared at the last package resting on the passenger seat. I reached for it, feeling its temperature. Fortunately, all my customers' houses were just around the corners. They weren't far from each other so the coffee was still hot unlike this last one.

I let my eyes rest for a moment before grabbing the small piece of paper on my dashboard.

"Lexin Santos, 1170..." My face lit up. "Oh goodness, I could go home!"

I turned on the engine and started driving again towards my street to deliver the coffee to my neighbor, Lexin Santos. Gosh... I would have the chance to see her? My heart thumped a bit at the thought. Sid forgot to mention her features, so I don't have any idea what she looks like.

She must be Alex's mother. The kid was pretty... Good genes, I guess...

It took me less than five minutes to arrive. I looked at their house through my car window. The porch light was off now. I checked my face in the mirror and stared at my lips.

"I think I need to put some colors on my lips..." I shook my head.

Why the fuck would I? I shrugged the thoughts and went out of my car holding the package.

Sighing, I climbed up the three-steps stair. Eyeing the door, I reached to press the bell three times.

My eyes were fixed on my shoes as I waited for the door to open. I was biting my lips, feeling my heart pound for unknown reasons. I couldn't understand why my heart's reacting this way. I was normal earlier... I never felt so nervous 'till this day. Was it because my customer is my neighbor? I don't even know her!

"Alex! Stay right there!" My eyes wide open when I heard a voice.

That was too loud...

"Mommy! The girl next door is here!"

My head snapped at the door when it suddenly opened, revealing Alex, who was smiling brightly at me. She was still in her pajamas.

"Good morning, our beautiful neighbor!"

I smiled but it vanished when I saw a woman behind her. I stilled on my spot when her eyes caught mine. It lasted for a second but, I can't seem to withdraw my eyes from her!

Her blonde short wavy hair was messy but it looked so damn sexy on her! She was wearing a thin sling ribbon chest nightgown that hugs her petite body.

My eyes traveled down to her neck. Her skin looks so inviting... I blinked numerous times when she coughed. I mentally palm my forehead due to my reaction.

Damn... Compose yourself, Aya! I gulped and handed her the coffee cup holder, staring at her face.

Her eyes were deep brown, she has thick black eyebrows and lashes. Small freckles were scattered around her nose which I found cute. Her lips were kinda chapped, too.

I gulped again when she wet her lips with her tongue, then bit her lower lip.

"Thanks for the service," she whispered after getting the coffee from my hand. Without further ado, she closed the door, hard that I almost jumped.

"Oh gosh, Aya! What the fuck..." I pulled my hair in frustration. I can't believe that I got stunned by her morning fresh beauty!