Deep in love

Vivica

At first, I didn't notice him. He was breathtaking, of course, and had the face of someone who was sculpted by God's most precious Angels. Cheek hollow, grey spiralling eyes, knife-sharp jawline, and thick, beautiful eyelashes made me wish I could have even just a small ounce of what he has.

If it weren't for my God-awful sobbing, my moans of pain, and my absolutely wrenching heart, I would have noticed him a few seconds before. He always had loud feet, it was something I remembered from when I was a kid. He was so clumsy, and he's passed it on to me.

The pain that overwhelmed me that night was something I had never thought I'd go through ever in my life. The loss of a loved one was hard, although he wasn't dead just yet. My ex-boyfriend, Daniel, had broken up with me after a complete year of being in my life. Some would say it was for the good, but I'd argue differently. He was so cold in those last moments, which ultimately hurt me the most. I hadn't cared too much about him thinking that we needed space, but his words and actions made me feel as if my entire life were the biggest facade.

It's hard being a man with someone like you. I have needs, and obviously, the person who's supposed to fulfil them isn't fulfilling them even after this long.

His harsh tone threw a dagger right into my heart. He wrapped his hand around the grip and made sure to twist it. I thought I'd spend the rest of my days with him. We had our lives planned together.

Although his grey eyes had swarmed me like a bunch of angry bees, I tried to conceal the fact that my mascara was running down my cheeks due to the thick tears that brimmed my eyes.

I inhaled, trying my hardest to fight asphyxiation as I held in a sob that fought its hardest to release from my body. My throat began to close, which ultimately led me to just let it out. I was utterly embarrassed at the fact that he had caught me crying, even though I'm sure he heard me from the other guest bedroom.

Swiping my hand across my face to collect the smearing mascara, I couldn't fathom looking at him again. I knew that those grey eyes would call me out on my shit and probably make a joke about it. So I looked down at the sad tub of molten ice cream sitting between my legs. The chunks of Oreo were drowning inside of what is now milk.

He made no sudden move, probably staring me down. I made no sudden move, wishing that I could just die. The tension was too awkward, why was he the one to catch me crying? Why did my father drag me to this stupid annual trip with his good friend, Oliva? And did it just have to be the same day as my graduation?

I swallowed down the dryness in my throat as I heard his feet begin to move. Then, the refrigerator opened before snapping closed again. He was shaking something, a liquid, as he walked closer to me.

Wait, to me? He never even talked to me his entire life.

My eyes blink repeatedly as my mind tries to process what's happening at this very moment. I lift my head, letting my eyes fall lax against him for the first time all night. He's wearing only dark pyjama pants that hang low on his waist. He's naked on the chest, with only a few numbers in Roman numerals under his right peck. There is a single silver necklace wrapped around his neck that should be engraved onto his skin by how long he's had it.

He is scowling already, ready to chew me up and spit me out for probably interrupting his beauty sleep. I'm sure a guy like him gets all that he can.

He steadily walks to me and stops right beside the brown centrepiece between the couch I'm sitting against and the sixty-five-inch television mounted against the wall.

I can't help but stare, my eyes wide. He tilts his head, letting his brown curly hair topple over. Small laughter erupts from his chest as he looks at me before calming himself quickly and returning to his hollowing cheeks. I've never seen him smile before.

"I was going to ask if someone was dying in here but clearly it's you" he shakes his head, eyeing the pathetic person across from him.

He makes me feel even worse than he did that time I fell into the pool at his father's old home. I didn't know how to swim and it took someone at least thirty seconds to realize it. Safe to say I learned how to swim shortly after that.

I look away from him, tilting my head downwards and looking at the sad tub of molten ice cream again. The Oreos have started to sink and it's even more sad. Tears brim my eyes again.

I reach my hand up, taking my silver spoon and swirling the ice cream in the tub. It's so soupy now. It's no good.

His presence in front of me still swamps me. He's made fun of me already and is now staring at me. I sniffle, thinking of Daniel again. He should have waited longer

"Your mascara is a mess, you know," he says, making me sob once again. It's almost as if this is his goal. He wants to see me cry. He wants to see my mascara smear down my cheeks, tears ruining my eyes. My bodily fluids threaten my nose but I've embarrassed myself enough, so I make sure to hold it in.

I swipe my hand across my face again, clearing up the excess tears. For some reason, I can not stop the tears from blurring my vision.

"And your ice cream isn't ice cream anymore. You've ruined it. I was going to eat some tomorrow morning" he says, his voice in a fixed grouch like always. His voice alone was something that could make tears brim my eyes any day, but now he filled me with both sadness and anger.

Of course, he'd like ice cream for breakfast.

I want to throw the tub at his head. But then he'd catch me and make me pay for literally everything I've ever done to him so no, I think I'll pass. Hard pass.

"Sad ice cream soup," he remarked.

I sigh, bringing my eyes to look at him. "Please just shut up. You don't need any ice cream anyways, I heard you're lactose intolerant" I sob, taking the top of the tub of ice cream.

He shakes his head. "That would be Oliva, not me. I'd say I'm very tolerant" he tells me.

I roll my eyes, adjusting the top over the tub. "Yeah, with a gun to your head" I mumble, removing the tub from between my legs and reaching over to sit it on the edge of the centrepiece.

"Well I wish I had one now to put you out of your misery" his crude remark causes my eyebrows to knit together. Why am I even listening to him? I remove the cover from my legs and fold it in half before letting it lay against the back edge of the couch. Quickly, I turn to head back into the guest bedroom, but with his hand around my arm, I can move no more.

I stop completely, having this big ball of a burning sensation burrowing through me. It's intense, and it overwhelms me entirely. His touch is electric, shocking me where his four fingers and one thumb wrap around my entire arm to keep me in place.

I lift my head to him, looking up at his entire face. So many things roam my mind at once. Why is he touching me? He treats my touch as if it's acid and quite frankly I return the favor whenever I can.

His face is more relaxed than before but still, the remark of a scowl can be seen. "Tell me what have you so worked up that I had to end a very important call early to see what the hell was happening out here" he tells me sternly, making me want to obey his concern but still, I want to turn away and make him wait.

He looks down at his hand and pulls it away before sticking it into the right side of his pocket, his left hand holding a fresh bottle of purified water. I swallow, turning to look up at him.

"Why do you care?" I ask him, squinting my eyes, my mind wincing at the thought of him yelling at me, making his voice boom across the entire home.

He sneers. "I don't, but I'm sure you'd sleep better if you talked about your feelings, so here I am. Clearly, no one else cared enough if you're sitting here alone in the damn dark crying about whatever piece of shit has entered or left your life".

My heart clenches as he pulls the dagger Daniel lodged into my heart, out of it. My blood starts to sputter out and I don't know how much longer I have. Maybe half of a minute. I would hope.

"If my father knew what I was going through he would have come out here to comfort me instead of leaving someone like you to treat me like trash because of a decision you made. I didn't ask your arrogant, jerk self to come out here. You acted like you were getting water when you really wanted to be nosey and you probably wouldn't have left your room if whatever girl you were talking to hadn't hung up the phone on you" I say, releasing a long-awaited breath and folding my arms.

His eyebrows push together as he briefly looks away, clicking his jaw. "No one has ever ended a call with me that I wasn't ready to end, and yes, I came because I thought someone was dying. A possum or something" he assures me.

"Well, no one's dying so you can go back into your hell hole!" I scream.

His face shows no reaction besides the one that's engraved onto his facial features. "I'd have to be here longer for it to be considered a hell hole, but okay, Mary Poppins" he rolls his eyes.

I scoff, shifting my weight on my left foot as I throw my right out. "People own a security company and think it makes them know".

"I never said I am all-knowing, I am not a God, but I do know that if I hear you sobbing like that again I'm going to put a pillow over your face. You could cry a bit lower if you didn't want people in your business" he shakes his head.

My eyes widen in fury. "If you never came on this trip then we wouldn't be here. You never come and now you're all about family. You're arrogant-".

"How did we even get there?" He interrupts me.

"And you don't care about anyone but yourself. I'm not telling you anything you dehumanizing bastard" I yell.

He shrugs. "Fine, then don't... wait a second" he tilts his head, making my eyes lower. "I sure hope you aren't crying over that piece of shit you're dating. He's like five foot three inches and has small feet so you know that means-".

"It's none of your business-".

"So it is, Caesar was his name?".

"Daniel" I grit.

He rolls his eyes, inhaling as he turns away for a brief second. "So this asshole has you sobbing, nearly waking the entire neighbourhood and he has small feet? Jesus, Cele, you've got to raise your standards" he shakes his head

I frown, looking away from him. "He broke up with me because he said he has needs that I won't fulfill" I mutter, remembering his cold words.

"Needs that you won't fulfill?... I forgot you guys are twenty-something years old and he probably isn't mature enough to wait and please himself but Cele if he isn't willing to wait for you he was doing you a favor. You don't have to have sex with anyone to keep them" he tells me, making me look up at him.

"What do you care? You sleep with different girls all the time, you've done worse" I bite.

He looks down at his hand. "Is that what you think? That I sleep with different girls all the time?" He asks me.

I shrug. "I see the ways girls fawn over you, which they clearly don't know that you sleep with a night light-"

"If you tell anyone that I'll strangle you so hard that my handprint will be engraved in your skin" he steps closer to me, making me knit my eyebrows together.

I mock him. "Oh, tough guy" I roll my eyes "back off, no one will reveal your stupid little secret, but I may tell them that you were listening to Katy Perry while you were showering"

He sneers again. "It was on random selection".

"Was it that way the other day too?" I question.

He sighs, looking away. "Look, mind your business".

I scoff, letting out a small laugh. "You're one to talk. We would not be standing here if you would have just minded your own business" I point out the obvious.

He doesn't agree. "No, we wouldn't be here if you would have just concealed your horrible sounds. It's so wrenching that my ears started draining".

"Maybe it's just all the nasty earwax".

He rolls his eyes again. What is this? Is he me?

"I don't want to argue with you, who knows if you'll start crying again" he pulls his purified water bottle up and twists the cap.

"Yeah, I cried even more when I saw your face"

"Tears of joy".

"More like the opposite. Now, if you'll get out of my way I need to shower before bed" I step past him and this time he allows me as he pulls the water bottle up for a quick sip.

"Cele" he calls me.

"What?" I turn to look at him.

He squints his eyes. "Make sure you wash your face. You look like you were bleeding out pure blackness" he says.

I sneer. "Maybe you should cry and I guarantee it'll be the same".

Vivica

I close the guest bedroom door behind myself, soon taking the lock between my thumb and pointer. My eyes close as I exhale, pressing my back against the door and shuttering. What the hell was that? Was he being... no, he's incapable of any feelings besides the constant all-knowing of his arrogance.

My eyes open and I manually force myself to intake air, fearing that I could possibly die right here on the carpeted floors. Air swings into my lungs and for a moment I feel like the woman I was before all of this happened, a week ago before Daniel broke my pure heart. His words swarm my mind.

if he isn't willing to wait for you, then he is doing you a favour

Maybe he's right. Maybe Daniel saw that I was too good for him and came up with something quick to soften the blow on himself. Yeah, that sounds stupid. He wasn't pleasured like he said, and I could argue the same but with the aching heart that weighed heavy in my body, all I could do was leave him alone.

I pull myself away from the door and swipe my hand across my face again. My face is still flooded with the wet saltiness from my tears. Black makeup from my mascara colours my brown skin. I wipe my hand on my jeans before lifting my feet and carrying myself into the bathroom. The great thing about travelling with my father, he would always make sure I had the best room in the house. I was the only one with a master bedroom and I was more than thankful

I turn the light switch on and nearly kill myself with how depressing I look. Mascara lines are drawn on my face, my eyes bloodshot red, my cheeks puffy from the crying. How could he look at me and not burst into laughter the entire time?

Getting over my look, I walk to the large shower and twist the knob, adjusting the water to the perfect temperature. The warmness cascades down in spurts before getting itself together, the water already heated. I began to strip my clothes off one by one, soon dropping them into the dirty clothes hamper. I've decided to do laundry today since we've been here for two days and I've not seen a single person attempt to work the washer and dryer. I could not live with an entire home filled with only men. It would drive me crazy. Only good for carrying out the trash and killing scary bugs.

I step into the shower and my body shivers as the hot water comes into contact with my skin. The feeling mitigates so I begin to forget about the situation beforehand. I allow the warm water to make its full reign on my body before taking a washcloth and lathering it with soap. Once satisfied, I rinse myself off and turn the shower off at once, stepping out and wrapping a clean towel around my body.

My pyjamas are already set out. I was in the middle of getting ready for bed when the sudden sadness hit and I thought that if I had ice cream it would make it better. It didn't. Which is why we now have what he calls, ice cream soup.

I quickly tossed my pyjamas on before climbing into the large bed and pulling the covers up to my neck, wanting to feel as though I was being comforted by the person who gave the biggest hugs ever. My eyes grew heavy and soon I was asleep.

I wake the next morning with a certain pain and throb ringing throughout my entire skull. From the moment I opened my eyes, I could feel it wash over me like a tsunami, which made me fear actually getting myself up. Still, I pulled the cover from my legs and stood myself up, bringing my hand to my head.

I scratched at my scalp, repeatedly blinking my eyes in hopes that what I was feeling was only because I was half asleep. My vision became less distorted as I stood there and it made me come to the realization that maybe this was what my morning would be. Caught off balance by the small sunlight peaking in through the window and curtains, my eyes pinched shut. My eyebrows knitted together and it caused my entire face to be scrunched like a ball. When finally relaxed, I walked over towards the windows and pulled the curtains away, letting the huge arrays of sunlight seep into the dim room. It lit my morning with happiness and made me feel as though I was ready.

Going into the bathroom, I grabbed my toothbrush and toothpaste to get one thing out of the way. Soon washing my face, I made sure to moisturise my skin before pulling a cute sundress from my suitcase. I slipped it over my body before leaving the bedroom to see both my father and his good friend, Oliva, sitting at the breakfast island.

My father, the tall man with porcelain skin, wore a sunshirt, sunglasses over the top of his head, and weird khaki shorts.

Oliva wore something similar, only having a sun hat added to his outfit.

The two men sat together, each having a glass of fresh orange juice in front of them. The great smell of bacon was brewing through my nose and it made my stomach rumble. I had barely eaten anything the day before, I couldn't stomach it

"Good morning- oh darling" my father cooed as he spread his arms wide for me, voicelessly asking to be a comforting place. I didn't deny him, I never did, fearing that one day he'd think I didn't need him anymore. My feet gradually moved me closer to him and he was pulling me into his arms, running his hand along my spine.

"This is the second time this week. Forget that asshole and have breakfast with me and your God Father" he murmured.

I smiled a sorry smile as I pulled away to look at his pale face. I put my hand to it, rubbing my thumb over his cheek. "You're always so helpful, Dad. Thank you, I would love to have breakfast with you two" I said, stealing a glance at Oliva.

He had a small smile on his face as he too held his arms out. "I don't want you being sad over any guy. You're too good for him anyways" he says as he pulls me in for a quick hug. Somehow, I manage to keep my tears from brimming and ruining my eyes.

"I know, it just hurts a bit. I feel as though I wasted so many precious moments with him. The time I could have been spending with friends or family" I gesture towards the two men and their smiles remain.

It's true. Daniel had taken up a lot of my time. I was with him on weekends, days when we both had nothing to do and even remained in contact when we were physically apart. It's a great pain that I've lost him but now I can repair my relationships.

"Which is why we're having dinner tonight out back. I'll be preparing special dishes, we'll have champagne or whatever you want" he says and I nod.

"That sounds great, but I'm supposed to be hanging out with Dacre today," I say, almost frowning a bit.

My father shrugs. "You can invite him over, I don't mind. He's like family anyways".