Dangerous desires

My Rolex watch glitter as I comb my long fingers through my brown curly hair which fall at my nape. My honey eyes stare at me through the mirror, and I can see the excitement in his eyes, I'm preparing to go over to Smith's mansion to finalize the biggest deal of my life. The kind of real estate deal that can take a man from zero to a million, and since I'm already at billions, it's just going to get me wealthier. My broad chest rise in fall in excitement, with the level of anxiety and excitement I am feeling at the moment, I'm surprise my heart hasn't burst.

I can't remember the last time I felt this happy...like genuinely happy without demons from my past intruding my mind, without the image of my deadbeat dad clouding my thoughts, me watching him physically abuse my mother and doing nothing because what could I have possibly done? I was just a kid. But when he started sexually abusing her...

I clench my both fist at either side of me and tighten my jaw. The memory alone makes me so angry already, so much for the earlier excitement!

Still staring at my reflection, I unclench my fist and raise my right hand, adjusting the diamond stud on my both earlobes. I'm wearing a white shirt over a cartoon brown pants with a nick Jordan sneakers. Proudly standing at a height of 6.4, with an athletic build like ricochet, my muscles rippled abs bulge out, literally begging to be free from this civilized dressing.

I am supposed to be happy. I have billions of dollars rolling in my account. I have girls at my beck and call who would do anything I ask them to do in my room of pain no matter how painful, humiliating or depraved it may be. I usually chain their ankles and wrists to the bed frame and torture them the same way Mr Hyde and his wife defiled me for three years, even if those sluts have done more disgusting and terrible things with their bodies, I never stop until they are bleeding and filthy, before I throw their pay at them and force them out of my place.

But yet I still feel empty, like there's something I'm constantly searching for to fill this void. What is it? I don't know.

Every night, I disguise myself and storm the city of New York, slicing the throat of any person I see who resembles my father, Mr Hyde or his wife. I am a maniac but despite all the mayhem I have unleashed. I'm still empty, damaged and broken!

Still staring at my reflection in the mirror, I force a fake smile before turning my back and leaving my bedroom.

I cross the yard and stroll over to next mansion because there's no fencing. I don't bother knocking on the door before entering. Smith's family is like a second family and for the past years I had barged in and out of their house without knocking.

The moment I enter in, I'm greeted by the smell of Katherine's homemade cooking, decorations hanging from the ceiling with the inscription 'Welcome home Lily", the sound of a baby crying. I pause to take in everything, then I remember Smith's first daughter is returning home today. Mi eterna.

Lily, the Spanish names were her idea. Mi eterno is masculine and mi eterna is feminine meaning my eternal. Eternal, having no beginning and no end in time. Lasting forever. Existing at all times. Always true and valid. A smile almost curve on my lips as the pleasant memories fill my head.

Almost.

One of her birthday parties, I kept thinking of the perfect present for my girl...a single gift that would say a thousand words. I found it, matching infinity bracelet for me and Lily with the inscription 'mi eterno' on hers and 'mi eterna' on mine. The moment I placed the bracelet around her wrist, the joys and happiness I saw in her eyes were unmeasurable...She loved it.

Izzy, Lily's two year old sister is still crying. I quickly walk over to the couch and pick her up, she immediately stops crying and starts giggling. Yes, I always have that effect on ladies. I stare at the blue eyed baby in my arms and I feel a pang in my chest. The familiar pang I feel whenever I'm inside Smith's mansion, he has everything I don't have, a beautiful wife, two beautiful daughters, a family that loves him.

The only thing I can brag to have more than him is money, but well money is just money. I will forever be grateful to Smith for accepting me into his home when I escaped from the Hyde's, I never told him the abuse I suffered...I never told anybody.

"Hi Katherine." I put Izzy down and enter the kitchen to greet Kate.

"Luca." I can hear the excitement in her voice. "Our girl is coming home today!" She pulls me in for a tight hug. For her puny size, she sure does have a strong grip on me.

"Kat..." I start talking but she yanks a cookie in my mouth and I stop talking.

"How is it. How does it taste?" She stare at me through big round blue eyes that reminds me of mi eterna.

"Hmmm..." I make a crunching sound as I chew the cookies and pretend to think. "It's delicious as always."

"I feel like there's too much milk." She starts turning around, tasting and retasting and trying to find what is missing.

A frown curve on my lips. I steady her by placing my arms on her shoulders. "Kat, the cookie is perfect." That's the nickname I gave her, it's so funny how I gave every member of the Smith's family a nickname. I make her laugh before leaving her to greet Smithy. Yes, that's his nickname which I only use in my head.

"Luca." He pats me playfully on my back. "How is the real estate market favouring you kiddo." If you're not the same age as Smith or two years younger, he calls you kiddo.

Smith is a plump man with blonde hair and a sharp tongue, in a way he always reminded me of my father, only in appearance though. Smith is nothing like my deadbeat dad, at least he doesn't beat his wife or sells his youngest son to sex traders or did nothing when his two eldest sons whom he groomed were sitting in jail waiting for the death sentence.

"Luca. I'm happy I met you, see how quickly you've turned my fortune." Smith's voice breaks my reverie. Since I was eighteen, Smith always called me a lucky coin that fell into his well and changed his fortune.

"With a well experienced lawyer like you, the market can only get better." I brag about his knowledge of law, he laughs. Soon, we are sitting in the living room and talking business. With Smith, it's always business.

We are sitting in the living room, laughing and eating. Rephrase, Smith and Kate are laughing, and I'm trying so hard to fake laugh and share in their joke, but it does not working. I don't know how to laugh because I never laugh there's nothing amusing in this wicked world.

The door slowly creaks open and a tall blonde woman steps into the living room rolling in a box behind her. She is wearing a light blue dress that compliments the color of her eyes. As the player I am, I can't help but notice how plump her tits are, and how appealing her curves are beneath the dress. Smith and Kate jump up from the couch and hurry to hug her.

It takes me a while to recognize her. "Lily." I mutter. She is different, she's taller, her feminine curves are more defined, her blonde hair that's usually parked in a ponytail is loose and flowing on her shoulders, she's all grown up... she's a woman! No, no a girl! She's a child, she's just seventeen. Stop staring! I force myself to look away but my eyes keep returning to the luscious body before me. But she's turning eighteen this year, in just a few months right?

After the Smith's spent what felt like an eternity having a family reunion. Her parents enters the kitchen leaving us alone. Lily looks at me, there's a deep indentation on her cheeks from always smiling, I slowly stand up and wait patiently for her to walk towards me but instead she runs and jump on me, I would have easier caught her but she is heavier than she was the last time I carried her which was just a year ago.

Her weight push me down onto the couch and I fall in a sitting position with her on my laps. She's even more beautiful than I remembered, I see the infinity bracelet on her wrist.

"Mi eterno." She whispers.

"Welcome home." I just can't resist, I have to place kiss on her cheek, but she shifts her head and instead the kiss lands on her lips. We pause with her lips on mine, neither of us moving, we just stare at each other. Her familiar scent fills the air, maybe just my nostrils. Cherry mixed with strawberry.

"A welcome home kiss." I hear her say as she jump down from my lap, grabbing my arm and pulling me into a standing position with her. "There's so much I have to tell you about my adventure."

"Won't you eat, you're just returning. There will be plenty time to fill Luca in." Katherine calls out from the kitchen.

"No, there's so much I have to tell. We will eat when we return." She winks at me and I am trying so hard to suppress my laughter.

She's still the same little girl I've known for eight years, she just looks a little different...or a lot different, but that's all. I will get over it.

Lily leads the way, we're running on the grass to the back of the buildings and further down, I know the road, it's so familiar from all the times we had run down since she was ten and I was eighteen.. We're going to our favorite spot - the wishing lake. I'm out of breath by the time we reach the lake, for the last one year when Lily was gone, I never came down here, I stayed in my mansion and let the demons from my past eat me alive with endless taunting and nightmares.

I'm sitting beneath the blossoming groove and leaning my back against it's branch with my legs spread wide pulling Lily down to sit between my legs. She flashes me smile as she sits down with me, pressing her back against my chest and tucking her head against my neck. I wrap my arm across her chest, holding her tight, like we always do. Only now it feels different, her ass is larger and with the way she's sitting, I'm feeling a tingling in my pants.

She talks non-stop about her vacation experience. She talks about boys, and boys and boys and I hate it.

"Tiffany has invited me to a party tomorrow, she told me to dress hot, hopefully I will get my first kiss tomorrow." Tiffany is Lily's best friend, they have been friends since preschool.

"First kiss?" My voice rises in shock. I could have sworn she's had like a thousand kisses already. Are boys her age blind or what?

"Yes. I haven't had my first real kiss yet, all the girls my age has. I'm eighteen already if I don't have my first kiss now, no boy may ever kiss me again."

What sort of logic is that? "That's not true. And you're 17 not 18." I correct her.

"I will be eighteen in a few months." She folds her hands on her waist. "Tessa had her first kiss before she was eighteen. Juliet had her first kiss before she was eighteen..."

I'm lost "who are those?"

She groans. "They are characters from the books I read."

Oh. I totally forget Lily was a hopeless romantic, a huge fan of rom com. I've watched her and her best friend fantasied about their knights in shining armor all their lives. "Why haven't you had your first kiss yet. Is it that all the boys your age are blind or is there a problem with you?"

She moves slightly between my leg so she's slightly facing me, and I feel the tingling sensation in my pants grow wild. "All the boys my age are boring. My first kiss has to be special, with someone that gives me the chills, and burns. And the setting has to be special."

She tilts her head to the side and press her fingers on her lips as if she's thinking. "Like under the rain, or with flowers dropping from the sky." She starts laughing. "I remember one time a boy in my school who's been talking with me for only a week tried kissing me in the hallway. In the hallway." She says the words with obvious disgust. "I nearly had a panic attack."

I make a silly comment about her romantic fantasies which cause her to ask me what my first kiss was like. "I don't remember." I lie. I remember exactly what my kiss was like, but I just don't want to tell her. My first kiss was with a woman thrice my age when I was fourteen. It was forceful and harsh. I've never enjoyed kissing since then, I only did it as a preparatory to the real deal, which is sex!

"I don't even know how to kiss. I know I'm going to make a mess of myself if someone tries to kiss me. Or..." She pause and stare at me. "I could get kissing lessons from a professional."

Kissing lessons? Is that a thing? And why is she staring at me like that? No...no. I know what she's about to ask and the answer is no, or on a second thought...

She looks down at her thighs and starts twisting the tip of her dress in a weird way. Is she shy? "Will you be my first kiss. We've kissed a lot of times already but I mean a real kiss with tongues and all."

"Why me?" I'm flattered.

"Well I see the way all the girls in New York gush over you, so I know you're a kissing champion. And you think I don't want a taste of those lips?"

"Once I kiss you Lily, you will never kiss another man."

"Deal." she stretch her hands for a shake.

My facial features twist in annoyance and I push her outstretched hands away from my chest. "I'm not making a deal with you. I'm telling you that you will never be able to kiss any guy again!" You will crave the dark things that I only can give you.

"Are you that good?" She squeals, her blue eyes wide with excitement.

"No, I'm that bad." I will ruin you Lily.

She's still smiling. "we can make it a full-blown relationship lesson, to include sex and other romantic gestures."

"I don't date. Lily you're too young to fantasie such." I snap at her, my patience already failing me. "You are all sunshine and sweetness. You deserve a prince charming who will sweep you off your feet, not me. I'm too bad for you."

"Oops, guess I want the bad boy then."

I'm all about self pleasure, I keep taking and taking from the women who offer up their bodies to me as sacrifices to satisfy my dark fantasies. I never stop until they are as broken and damaged as me.

Katherine yell our names from their mansion for the umpteenth time. Lily stands up and jump from between my legs. I quickly rollover pressing my body on the grass inorder to hide the bulge in my pants.

She crooks a brow oblivious to my torment. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing. I will join you all later."

She turns and start running towards the buildings. I wait until her footsteps fade out and I hear the sound of a door opening and closing before resuming my siting position. I put my hands between my legs smoothing the bulge inorder to calm the ache. "Lily you're too young and naive to be the object of my dark fantasies."

"Hmmm. So yummy." Lily eats the cookie in her hands before digging into the lamp stew.

I give Katherine a knowing look. 'I told you so.' Even two year old Izzy makes baby sounds to tell her mother how delicious the cookie is. I'm sitting beside Lily and staring at her, she is just too pretty for me to take my eyes off her. She recounts her experience to her family. I notice the way Kate listens attentively with genuine interest.

As I watch them, there's a painful feeling within me, a painful awareness that Lily has the best mother in the world, and me, I had no mother. Well, I did have a mother, we lived together in the same house for 12years until she died...no mistake, until my deadbeat dad killed her.

But while we lived together, we never had the typical mother-son relationship. I wish she had seen me...known me. I wish she had heard me when I tried telling her....I wish she was not so consumed with regret and fears and absolute submission to her abusing husband. I wish she was Kate.

I wish she had a life.

"Are you okay." Lily leans in and whispers against my ears. I didn't realize my absence was noticed. I smile and squeeze her soft hands. "I'm fine." I lie.

It only takes someone that's known me forever to know when I'm lying. "You're not fine!" Lily shakes her head and fold her arms around her chest, her forehead furrows as she frowns and right now she looks like a mother who's about to scold a stubborn child. "What is wrong with you?" I must say it's kinda cute watching a seventeen year old scold me.

I shrug. "I'm just tired."

I stretch my hands tiredly and yawn. "Thank you all for such a hearty reception, but I must retire now." I stand up slowly and walk around the table to kiss Katherine on her forehead and hug Smith goodnight. Izzy is stretching her hands for a hug, and I can't ignore her, I lift her up and blow kisses all across her face which causes her to giggle.

And then there's Lily, mi eterna, I want to do more than hug her and blow kisses on her face. I want to give her a real deep kiss and take her to my bed...but I can't. I just can't. I bid her farewell the same way I did all the women in her family and exit.

I'm half way crossing their yard to my yard when I hear footsteps approaching, and then a small hand slip around my waist and press her soft body against mine. Lily. I spin her around and carry her in my arms, and continue walking. She's smiling from ear to ear. "Where are you taking me to?" She puts her arms around my neck and play with the tips of my hair.

I press my forehead on hers and breath in her scent. "You came running after me, where do you think I'm going?"

Lily does not reply, she just continues smiling. I walk to my building and stop at the entrance dropping her to her feet. She leans her back against the wall, and it's just too appealing. "What's wrong with you? You're acting weird. You know you can tell me anything..."

I'm not listening to anything she's saying. I step closer and place my both hands on the wall imprisoning her. I trace a gentle touch on her cheek, and lips, I feel her stiffen under my touch and she stops talking. I want to kiss her, open my door and push her in and bury myself in her, but again, I can't. I'm scared... scared of what I will do to her. The room of pain. I'm scared of how she will react...

Instinctively I turn and glance at her house, her parents are not watching us, they never do, but soon they will start watching us, Lily is growing into a woman, Katherine will soon become more observant and then I will be reminded of the harsh truth...

I step away and gesture for Lily to leave, to run away but she does not move. She's still staring and smiling at me before throwing a playful punch on my arm and sprinting off to her house. I turn and watch her as she runs back to her house, the wind blowing her dress about. Lily, she's just so beautiful and young.

I step into the dimly lit house, everywhere is dark and... lonely.

I'm so tired to even walk. I'm glad my room is on the ground floor. And for some reason it's just opposite Lily's. I walk in, rip off my clothes and enter the shower.

I put on a big polo and shorts and fall on the bed.

I don't even know when I fall asleep, but for the first time I'm not dreaming about my past. I'm dreaming about Lily knocking on my window, the window is unlocked, she slides it upwards and jump in. She whispers. "Mi eterno." But her voice does not sound like it's coming from Dreamland, it sounds like she's sitting beside me.

I stir and slowly open my eyes. "Lily." She's laying beside me in a silk black nightgown that accentuate her curves, one of her legs hangs on mine. "Why are you here?"

"I came here to see you. I have nothing to tell you but I wanted to see you." And then, there's that big smile again. That smile, the one she only shares with me, the one only I will ever know exist.

I pull her closer still and stroke her jawline gently. "For eternity, the most beautiful things about you are the things you won't ever know about yourself. Things only I know of."

We cuddle under the blanket. This is not the first time we've shared a bed together. it's just that now it feels different... weird! I notice the sad smile on her face. "Why are you sad?"

"Forget it."

"No. Tell me."

She breath in. "Tiffany is just so happy whenever she plays the cello and I just don't know..." she breaks off.

I'm staring at her like I can see right into the center of her, like I've known her soul from the very first second. "What is the one thing you've wanted to do so badly?"

"Nothing. There's nothing..."

"There has to be something you've wanted to do so badly." She close her eyes in embarrassment. "There's nothing to be embarrassed about." I rub her arms gently.

"Dance. I've always wanted to be a dancer." Once she reopens her eyes and stare at me, she quickly adds. "Oh it's stupid I know, street dancing...so pathetic." she fakes a laugh. "Nobody ever made a name from stuff like that. Forget I ever said that. It's just so stupid..." she bows her head in shame.

I place my hands on her chin and raise her head for our eyes to meet. "There's nothing to be ashamed of. I would never judge you. Who told you that street dancing is stupid?"

Her voice is barely above a whisper. "My dad. I've always wanted to dance since I was a little." She smiles bitterly.

"So what's stopping you?"

She chuckles. "What's stopping me?" she repeats the question again. "What's stopping me?"

I nod. "What's stopping you?" I repeat.

She shakes her head. "I've never danced before save for when I'm in the bathroom...which does not count by the way."

"You can enroll in an academy."

She shake her head again. "I will think about it later."

"Don't leave anything for later." I scream at her. "Later, you will loose interest. Later, the day turns into night. Later, you will grow old. Later, life goes by. Later, you regret not doing something when you had the chance."

She laughs so hard and rolls to the edge of the bed and almost fall off, I stretch my hands and grab her waist and hold her firm against me. She smiles and trace a pattern on my chest. This is dangerous!

I dismiss her. "You should get going back to your room."

"No. I want to sleep here with you tonight." She knows I'm about to refuse her, so she don't let me talk, she just continue begging. "Please. Please. Pretty please." And she pouts. Why? How can I ever resist such big blue pretty eyes.

"Fine. But first thing tomorrow you'll return to your house."

"No... first thing tomorrow we will go to the beach and swim."

I groan. "You're so impossible!" I look at her really alluring nightwear. "You can't swim in that."

"I will sneak into my house and grab my bikini, tomorrow morning." She's smiling. She pulls herself closer to me and nestle her head in the crook of my neck. "Goodnight mi eterno." She raise her head immediately and press a kiss on my lips and she tastes like strawberry mixed with cherry and it takes the whole self-will I possess not to part her lips with my tongue and stick it deep into her throat, because if I try, I know she wouldn't stop me, but if I kiss her so passionately, it will lead to me pushing down the straps of her nightwear and if I go that far there won't be anything stopping me from grabbing her ass and taking her to the room of pain which is just a few elevator lifts above and well equipped to cause pain and hurt. It's so dangerous. She's too young, I remind myself. I push my lips from hers and cover her in a warm embrace. I'm too twisted for her.

Slowly we fall asleep.

I stretch my arms and yawn with my mouth wide open, turning to my side to stare at the blonde beauty sleeping in my king-sized bed. Her hair falls on her face and on the bed in a messy pattern, her long lashes rest over her closed eyes lids, I can't help but feel a little jealous, she's such a beauty to behold even in her sleep.

I'm tempted to run kisses down her bare arms and thighs and wake her up with my cock deeply inserted in her ass but instead I roll over her and stand on the floor. I walk towards the window. I'm drawing down the curtain to allow the sunlight penetrate the room when I hear Lily's muffled voice from the bed.

"Luca. I had the best night rest of my life." That beautiful smile is on her face. She pats the bed. "I think it's your bed, I will sleep here more often."

Forgetting Lily is still in the room, I take off my shirt and toss it to the floor and I'm about to pull down my shorts when I hear her gasps, her voice louder this time.

"Oh my!" Her hands fly to her mouth in apparent shock.

I turn around giving her a full view of my defined chest and arms. My physique reveals years of devotion to fitness, my muscles chiseled perfectly. Below, fitted shorts highlight my muscular thighs. I walk slowly towards the bed where she's still laying.

"Is that what you've been hiding beneath all those layers of clothes?"

I shrug and shake my breast which causes her to laugh. "Good morning mi eterna."

She pulls at my arm playfully causing me to fall on top her. My chest press heavily against her breast, I can feel their softness beneath my hard chest. My arms fall on both sides of her face.

"Is that how you wake a lady up? Don't you read novels? No breakfast in bed. No good morning kiss."