DEAD OR ALIVE

Nyra sat in the dimly lit living room, her hands trembling as she held the cracked photo frame.

The picture inside, a younger version of herself and Kael on their wedding day mocked her with its illusion of happiness.

She couldn't recognize the woman in the white dress anymore. The sparkle in her eyes was long gone, replaced by shadows of fear and exhaustion.

The silence in the house was suffocating, pressing down on her chest like a weight.

Her bruises throbbed in rhythm with her heartbeat, a painful reminder of the life she had chosen, or the life that had chosen her.

Seven years. That was how long she had been here. Trapped. Dead, but somehow still breathing.

Her gaze flickered to the faint outline of the bedroom door upstairs, where Kael slept soundly.

The man who had once promised to cherish her had become her worst nightmare.

Each day felt like a game of survival, her spirit chipped away by his words, his fists, his indifference.

Her therapist's voice echoed in her mind: "Nyra, staying is a choice. Leaving is a choice. The question is, are you willing to choose yourself?"

It was a question she couldn't answer. Not yet.

But something was different tonight. The air felt heavier, charged with an unsettling energy that prickled against her skin.

It wasn't just the bruises or the exhaustion weighing her down. It was something more.

A presence.

The sensation of being watched clawed at her spine.

Not by Kael, he was deep in his usual whiskey-induced slumber. But something else. Something unseen.

Nyra's fingers tightened around the photo frame as she forced herself to breathe, to listen.

The distant hum of a car passing by. The rustle of wind against the window. And then

A creak.

Not from upstairs. Not from Kael's room.

From outside. Near the back door.

Her pulse spiked, a cold shiver racing down her arms.

She placed the frame face down on the table, silencing the lie of a perfect marriage, and pushed to her feet.

Her legs felt unsteady, her body weak from years of fear, but survival had taught her one thing, never ignore the feeling of danger.

She moved to the window, pulling the curtain aside just an inch.

The backyard was dark, the trees casting eerie shadows against the fence. But there, just beyond the porch light's weak glow

A figure.

Tall. Still. Watching.

Nyra's breath caught in her throat.

She didn't know who he was. But somehow, she knew exactly why he was here.

And for the first time, she understood the truth.

If you leave, you'll live.

No. That was a lie.

If you leave, you die.

The game had already begun. And she wasn't the only one playing.

The clock on the wall ticked louder than my own thoughts. Midnight. Another sleepless night.

The air felt heavy, and stagnant, like it had absorbed the weight of my pain over the years.

I sat motionless in the corner of the living room, knees drawn to my chest, my heart pounding in uneven beats. Even here, even now, I couldn't feel safe.

Upstairs, the house was quiet, but it wasn't peaceful, it was an eerie calm after a storm.

My children were asleep, or at least I prayed they were. I prayed Lorien wasn't awake, hearing the echoes of tonight's fight playing on a loop in his mind.

I prayed Azra wasn't curled into a ball, trembling under her blanket, flinching at imagined shadows. She always has a nightmare. Almost every night.

Kael was up there too, in our bedroom. Or was it still our bedroom? Lately, it felt more like a battlefield, a place where his words cut deeper than his hands ever did.

Where his fists cut sharper than a knife.

He'd slammed the door hours ago, after pushing me out of the bedroom and leaving me to piece together what was left of myself in the dark.

My fingers traced the edge of the photo frame on the table.

It was a picture from our wedding day, me in a lace gown, him in a crisp black suit. My smile looked genuine.

His arm draped around my shoulders as if he could protect me from the world.

How ironic that the very man who vowed to keep me safe had become the reason I feared for my life.

The man who was supposed to be for me is the one against me.

The glass of the frame was cracked. A single jagged line split my face in two. I didn't even remember how it broke.

Was it last week, when he threw the remote across the room in a fit of rage?

Or the week before, when he shoved me against the wall for questioning where he'd been?

The days blurred together now. Pain had a way of erasing time.

I shifted my gaze to the stairs. They loomed like a bridge between two worlds, the fragile innocence of my children's dreams and the nightmare I endured every day.

I wanted to run to them, hold them tight, and promise them that I'd find a way out. Take them out of here and give them a better life in a peaceful environment.

But what kind of mother makes promises she isn't sure she can keep?

A creak on the floorboards upstairs froze me.

My body tensed, instinct taking over. Was he coming down? My eyes darted to the front door. I hadn't locked it yet. I always left it unlocked at night, just in case. Just in case I needed to run.

But the creak didn't come again. Only silence.

I let out a shaky breath and leaned back, staring at the ceiling.

"God," I whispered, my voice barely audible. "How did I get here? How did I become this woman?"

I thought about the day I met Kael. His charm had been like sunlight breaking through storm clouds.

He had this way of making me feel seen like I was the only person in the room.

And when he proposed, I said yes without hesitation.

Back then, I believed love could conquer anything. I didn't know love could also be a weapon.

The first time he hurt me, it was with words. I still remember how they stung, sharp, precise, and designed to cut.

He apologized afterward, of course. He always apologized.

Even now that he felt he could no longer apologize for hurting me over and over, I always forgave him.

Because that's what love is, right? Forgiveness.

But love didn't explain the bruise on my wrist from the night he grabbed me too hard.

It didn't explain the fear in Lorien's eyes when he saw Kael yell at me, or the way Azra clung to my leg every time Kael raised his voice.

Love didn't explain why I felt safer in my car, parked on the side of the road, than I did in my own home.

Another creak upstairs. My chest tightened again. I waited, listening, every muscle in my body coiled like a spring.

Nothing.

I stood, my legs shaky beneath me, and walked to the mirror hanging on the wall. The reflection that stared back was almost unrecognizable.

My cheekbone was swollen, the skin tinged with an ugly shade of purple from tonight's episode of his unending assault.

A cut on my lip stung every time I moved my mouth.

But it was my eyes that unsettled me the most. They were hollow, and lifeless, like a dying ember in a pile of ash.

I reached up, touching the bruise with the tips of my fingers. The pain was sharp, but it was nothing compared to the ache in my chest.

"I can't do this anymore," I whispered to myself. The words felt foreign like they belonged to someone else. Someone stronger.

The sound of soft footsteps behind me made me spin around. My heart leaped into my throat. But it wasn't Kael.

Lorien stood at the bottom of the stairs, clutching his blanket, his small face etched with worry. "Mommy," he said in a trembling voice. "Are you okay?"

I blinked back tears and forced a smile. "I'm fine, baby. Go back to bed."

He didn't move. His big brown eyes, so much like mine, scanned my face. I saw the question he didn't dare ask: Why don't you just leave?

"Lorien," I said, my voice firmer now. "Go to bed."

He hesitated, then nodded. But as he turned to climb the stairs, he said something that stopped me cold.

"Daddy said you can't leave us," he whispered as he stood in front of me. "Is that true?"

My breath caught. I didn't know how to answer him. The truth was, I didn't know if I could leave. Not because I didn't want to, but because I was terrified.

Terrified of what Kael might do if I tried. Terrified of what the world would say. Terrified of losing my children.

"Lorien, listen to me," I said, kneeling so I was at eye level with him. "I will never leave you and Azra. Do you understand? Never."

He nodded again, but his eyes were filled with questions he couldn't bring himself to ask maybe for fear of what his father might do to him.

He turned and disappeared up the stairs, leaving me alone in the silence once more.

I sank to the floor, my head in my hands. The weight of his words pressed down on me like a boulder. Kael had won. Even when he wasn't in the room, he had control over me.

But as I sat there, something shifted. It wasn't hope, hope felt too far away. It was more like defiance. A small, flickering ember that refused to die.

Upstairs, Kael stirred, his footsteps heavy as he moved across the bedroom.

My heart raced, but I didn't freeze this time.

Instead, I stood and walked to the front door. I locked it, not to keep him out, but to keep myself in.

Tonight, I wouldn't run. Tonight, I would plan.

I would plan how to survive with my two children without a job and Kael's help.

I would plan how to raise the money to get a place to run to with my children even though Kael made sure I didn't get any allowance.

I would plan how to leave to live to at least experience what peace of mind is even if I had to die at Kael's hand at last.

Yes, I would plan.

Because tomorrow, I would choose.

As I heard Kael's heavy footsteps descend the stairs. My body tensed instinctively, the sound like an alarm ringing in my head.

I rushed to the kitchen and busied myself in it pretending to be engrossed in slicing yam for breakfast.

"Babe" he called

"Here comes the facade," I thought.

I raised my head to look in his direction. He was coming to the kitchen with his phone in hand. He should be on a call.

"Babe" he called again, this time coming towards me

"Your mom wants to speak with you" Without a word, I fidgetly took the phone from him.

"Hello Mom"

"Nyra? What happened to your phone?" She asked concern as soon as I spoke.

I wanted to tell her Kael took the phone again, as he always does anytime he beats me up so that I won't be able to contact anyone, but Kael's surveying eyes were on me, waiting for me to commit the least of mistakes again so that he would pounce on

"Nyra, are you there?" Mom's voice brought me out of my reveries.

"I misplaced my phone Mom" I lied

"Oh! I see! But are you okay?" she asked again.

In my mind, I wanted to scream, "I'm not okay Mom, I need help", but that would be the death of me.

He would have killed me before help arrived

"I'm okay Mom. I have got to go now. I will talk to you later" I quickly said before I committed the crime of crying or making my mom worried.

"Okay dear, call me when you get your phone"

"Alright Mom," I said and handed the phone to Kael

"Sweet mom, are you happy to hear your daughter's voice now" Kael decisively said to Mom as he walked away from the kitchen, not after giving me the "I told you you can't do anything" look.

Kael referring to my mom as a sweet mom is just an irony of what he describes her with when he's angry.

"That your bitter single mom who left her husband because he was correcting her? I won't let you become like your mom. You have to obey me. You belong with me."

I picked up the knife to continue what I was doing before I was interrupted by the call.

My hands shook, the knife slipping slightly, nicking my finger.

"Damn it," I muttered, grabbing a napkin to stop the blood.

"Why are you mumbling over there?" He said, peeping through the kitchen door

His voice was sharp, cutting through the stillness of the morning.

"Nothing," I replied quickly, forcing my voice to sound calm. I could feel his eyes on me, the weight of his presence filling the room.

"You're clumsy as always," he said, leaning against the counter.

"How long will it take?"

I bit the inside of my cheek, swallowing the retort that burned on my tongue. "It'll be ready soon."

Kael reached for the kettle, his movements deliberate and loud, as though every clink and clatter was meant to remind me of his control.

"You'd have to hurry. I have a meeting in an hour, and I don't want to be delayed."

"Alright." The words tasted bitter, but I said them anyway. It was easier to agree, to play the role of the obedient wife than to provoke his temper this early in the day.

As he sat down at the dining table, scrolling through his phone, I risked a glance at him.

He looked the same as the man I fell in love with, broad shoulders, neatly trimmed beard, and eyes that could disarm anyone.

But the charm that once made my heart race was now a weapon he wielded to keep me in line.

The kitchen was filled with the sound of sizzling oil, the aroma of frying yams masking the tension that lingered in the air.

My thoughts drifted to Lorien and Azra, still asleep upstairs. At least they were spared from this morning's encounter for now.

"Nyra!" Kael's voice snapped me back to reality.

"Yes?"

"Are you deaf?" He stood, towering over me. "I've been calling you for minutes. Where's the pepper sauce?"

"It's....it's in the fridge. I'll get it for you." I moved quickly, my heart pounding.

"Now you are so useless not to remember to bring me the pepper sauce without me asking?" he muttered under his breath, but loud enough for me to hear.

I clenched my fists as I placed the sauce in front of him, the urge to scream bubbling beneath the surface. But I couldn't.

Not with the kids upstairs. Not with the risks that came with standing up to him.

Kael finished his breakfast in silence, leaving his plate on the table like a king dismissing a servant. He grabbed his briefcase and headed for the door.

"Ensure the kids are not late to school today," he said without looking back. Then he was gone, the slam of the door echoing through the house.

I exhaled slowly, the tension in my body releasing like a taut string finally cut.

The silence was deafening, but it was a relief. For a few hours, at least, the house was mine again.

The day dragged on in a haze of chores and unanswered questions.

Soon it was time to retrieve the kids from school.

I grabbed my car key from the hook by the door, the cool metal pressing into my palm as I hurried out to the driveway.

Sliding into the driver's seat, I started the engine, the familiar purr filling the silence as I reversed out onto the road.

The drive to the kids' school was uneventful, the hum of the tires on asphalt blending with the faint buzz of the radio. When I arrived, I parked in my usual spot and stepped out, waving at a few familiar faces before spotting Lorien and his sister by the school gate.

They ran to me, their backpacks bouncing as they grinned, their energy filling the air.

Once they were settled in the backseat,

I was about to start the car when I heard my name behind

"Nyra"

I looked through the rearview and found Clara walking towards me.

"Nyra" she called again, this time standing outside the car by the driver's side.

I smiled faintly at her.

"Babe, are you okay" she asked concern

"Has there ever been a time I'm okay?" I thought before giving her a faint smile

Before I could reply

"Mommy I'm hungry" Azra's voice cut through

"Okay baby, I will hurry," I told her before turning to Clara

"Babe, let's talk some other time, I need to go"

Are you okay? Your face is bruised" Clara asked again this time with concern written all over her face.

"Babe, I will talk to you later," I said fidgety as I ignited the car.

I really wanted to talk to Clara, but I was scared that Kael might have planted a spy on me since he always know whatever I was up to.

I turned the car around and headed home. There is a lot to be done if I want to avert Kael's anger tonight.

"Mommy, I'm hungry," Azra said again as soon as we stepped in, her voice small.

I smiled, forcing warmth into my expression. "Okay, my love. Let's get you some lunch."

As I prepared a plate of rice and stew for her, I noticed Lorien sitting on the couch, staring blankly at the television. He hadn't said a word since he came back from school.

"Lorien," I called gently.

He didn't respond.

"Lorien," I said again, louder this time.

He turned slowly, his eyes meeting mine. They were dark, guarded, and far too old for a six-year-old. "What?"

"Come eat."

"I'm not hungry."

My heart ached at his tone, at the wall he'd built around himself. I walked over to him, crouching so we were at eye level. "Baby, are you okay?"

He shrugged, his gaze shifting to the floor.

"Lorien, talk to me. What's wrong?"

"Mommy, let's run away from Daddy, he will kill you?" His voice was barely a plea but the words hit me like a punch to the gut.