Cheating the Rule of the Universe

The desire that has been hiding inside me found its way out to dominate my personality. I felt curiosity through my blood. The day that I would wonder who I am finally came- and it is today.

After so many times enduring and keeping the monstrous desire to eat humans since I was a baby, just spontaneously came, without a fucking warning. I never knew it could become this hard to fight the desire.

It's a red moon when it happens. I was in front of my mirror, staring at the beauty of my fang. My teeth are gritting, my face structure has changed and my nails are continuously growing. When I looked into the mirror again, I realized, I was starting to look like a puppy...

"You're not a puppy, you're a werewolf. We are werewolves," says my talking puppy. My puppy transformed into a soul. Slowly, it became a smoke... only to fill the missing pieces of my personality that I think I have been waiting for my whole life.

I was so lucky we already lived in the wilds. When I growl to attract werewolves nearby, there's got to be a minimal problem. And I fucking love the feeling of being free to express. The worst it could happen is if my parents got scared of me and hand me to the police.

"Terrence? Is that you?" my mom yelled from the outside of my room.

"Yes, mom. I think I'll be gone for the rest of the night. Go to bed first, I need to fulfill my destiny."

I don't usually rule my powers. Such a kid like me was raised to become prim and proper. But not today.

As soon as I said those, I flee through the window. The blood flowing through my veins now feels more powerful. Now I feel more like a werewolf. This is what I have been waiting for... the one thing that could fill the missing puzzle of my heart.

I found a human collecting some firewood using his axe. He accidentally hurt his hand and blood suddenly dripped. I licked my lips as I saw him. The desire activated my inner wolf. I couldn't help but attacked the man, scratched his face, took his heart, eat his liver, and sip his blood. Damn, I love this.

As I finished eating him, I growled. I felt like I was the most powerful, but I need more.

"Terrence..."

When I looked, it was mom, covering her mouth- shocked at what she just witnessed. Isn't this natural for a werewolf? What is there to be scared about?

This is what I hate about having intensified senses, especially the sense of hearing. I could hear them even if I refuse not to. That unnecessary noise...

"Why? Did I miss something? I clearly told you to go to bed early," I said.

My mom and dad are not feeling good about this. They looked so mad. I can tell, even in the middle of silence.

Dad grabbed my hand and hit me wherever his hand landed. As for my mom, instead of stopping dad from what he was doing to me, she just crossed her arm across her chest while giving me a disappointed look.

My tears run down my cheeks. Among the three of us, if there'll be someone who has the right to be disappointed, it was ME! This is what I also hate! Werewolves are more dramatic than humans.

"M-mom..." I uttered, asking for her help hopelessly. But she's not listening to me.

Honestly, the way dad hit me, nothing hurts physically. Instead, it feels like my parents strike me emotionally. Even though I didn't want it, I have to go on my way. I was just a werewolf for them, wasn't I?

I laughed internally. Now, just like a rebel child, I run. I run into the middle of the forest where a lot of animals do wander- the most dangerous ones. Who cares if I come across any of them?!

Although tiredness won't really visit me, I had to stop. I want to stop. That's when the voice inside my head spoke.

"Do you want to see something more magical? Do you want to leave this place and go into a place you'll absolutely love?"

Am I asking myself or not?

"If you do, go into that tree. That's where your foster parents found you. That's where you came from. If you're thinking you're different, yes, you are."

Even though I don't have any idea who is speaking, I still responded.

"What do you mean?"

"It's a portal to go into another world."

"W-what?! Wait, who are you? Are you living inside me? Are you a human?" I ask foolishly. And after I did that, I give myself a knock on the head. What a fool.

"Yeah, you're a fool. Have you forgotten? I was your puppy. I was disguised as a puppy. Now that you freed yourself through your curiosity, you, as a werewolf, are finally skinned. And I am your guide- for now."

I could never smile this wide again. Although I'm still having doubts, I had to try. There's no point in asking if I'm not even trying to know, or dying to try.

"Be careful, or you die."

As soon as the little guide inside my head spoke, the portal opened. It glowed blue, it looks like the ocean was positioned horizontally. I'm starting to love the look of it. This is where the doubts stopped. I just entered the portal. There's a threat of closing it permanently, but it's okay.

Blades went straight into my face as soon as I went in. It draws beautifully as if it makes sure this wound will stay as a scar forever. I was just here for a few minutes, yet, threats to my life are already living. It was chaotic inside. There was a war happening. There's blood, a bow and arrows, and the main character- werewolves. I can't take it! I have to go back!

"Terrence."

It spoke again.

"Stop it, pup! Don't try to convince me!"

"I'm not a puppy anymore. I grow too, like a real puppy. Besides, I'm your guide, assigned by your real mother. Don't come back to the human world. You're already here."

"I can't..."

The voice inside my head keeps on pestering me not to leave. But I couldn't help to get scared. I couldn't afford to see a war alone without my parents! So I go back to where I came from. When I was about to run away, I left a mark on the tree so I could be able to come back when I decided to.

My parents are worried sick. But again, my father hit me, and my mom yelled at me. This world seems to fit into what I wanted to have. But my expectations had been torn up by the ones whom I adore the most- my parents.

I tried so hard to keep the pain and tears inside me, while also having these strange thoughts inside my head to go back and find out where I belong. No matter how chaotic that place is, it can't be compared to what I've been experiencing inside this house. It's hellish here.

--

While knitting some of mom's dresses, that thoughts came up into my head too.

"I already told you, Terrence. It's better to stay where you do belong."

The puppy spoke again. It activated my impulsiveness.

"You think so?" I asked.

"Absolutely."

"Then let's go back."

I run away through the window. I feed my curiosity once again, and it feels so satisfying. Every time I stepped, every tree I passed, this wide smile couldn't go away. It stayed like glue. Now, I could say, I'm ready.

--

When I stepped foot into the werewolf realm, it was different. There's total silence, could be deafening, at least for me. I wandered around the place, only to receive the same wound to my face. The silence could be more terrifying than the loud noise... and I just proved it today.

A male werewolf is dying to catch a female werewolf who is already bathed in blood. He is running to chase the woman even though she clearly looked weak. How did I know? Because they looked like a fool, running in circles as if they consider the other lands or places they might disturb. Apparently, they keep their zone in one place to hurt one another, to keep the chaotic scene within one place.

What scares me the most is the man because of the axe he is holding in his hand. I covered my mouth, just to feel the falling tears in my eyes. The man's eyes looked so enchanted.

"You're weak," says the wolf inside my head.

"Yes, I am. I'm such a weak werewolf. I won't deny it!" I say, letting all the tears out.

That gave me an adrenaline rush. Before, it was just curiosity. But right now, I feel myself much more.

"There, there..."

The puppy inside of me now went out. It transformed back into its original puppy body. After that, the body was left without a soul, because the soul has been eaten by me. My eyes changed their colors within the timeframe of eating the wolf's soul. My teeth gritted after finishing the eating period. This is the first time I felt so alive- when I felt more like a werewolf than a human.

"Now we're one," I uttered, completely feeling myself. This is the real me, I guess? Through my veins, bones, blood, and even with other physical features of mine, every inch of me is a werewolf.

But I was reckless and foolish to decide of helping the woman werewolf. I don't know who I am yet and how far I can go. I don't know the abilities I could possess. Yet, I attacked the man who was holding an axe.

"Damn you! Leave her alone!" I yelled.

Our eyes met. I have never felt so cold in my whole life. Without doing anything, I could feel like he was freezing me inside when he don't. I hate my hallucinations, but I guess I have to live with them.

When the man didn't mind me and still went after the woman, someone grabbed me and covered my mouth. I struggled, trying to release myself. I tried it so hard, however, this werewolf who covered my mouth would not budge. Now, there's nothing I can do. The woman is already dead, and I was left here, dumbfounded.

I yelled. This is sickening. I hate to just watch the girl die and I did nothing.

Slowly, I walked near the girl. Just when I was about to see her face, the one who covered my mouth came in and dragged my hands out there. She was an old lady. But her strength is still incredible. Without looking at her face, I could say that she was still a young lady.

"Stop right there," I said. "I am not going anywhere. I'll save the girl and that's when I can say I'm ready to leave."

The old lady looked at me bluntly. There are a lot of words screaming in my head, and I wanted to say them badly. How come I couldn't after meeting her eyes?

"Even if you try to save her, that won't change, she's already dead. Look, her soul is wandering, waiting for the grim reaper to collect or reap her soul."

My brows furrowed. I was already enchanted by her look, but what she just said made my curiosity dig down a deeper hole.

"What are you talking about? You mean, her soul could be a sinner?"

"No one could say, only the grim reaper would know," she replied and grabbed my hand again.

"Where are you taking me?" I ask.

"Home. You shouldn't be here and witness random deaths, especially that girl's death. To avoid problems, go home, child. Everything happens for a reason."

I looked at her, totally confused. I don't know what she is talking about, or how did she know I did not originally belong here. But she gives me the creeps.

"I don't want to," I said, grabbing back my hand from her grip, causing her to stop walking. "This is my life, and this is where I want to go."

"You're just ten!"

"Who cares about age? Even here, you're still discriminating against young ones? Forbidding them to decide on their own as if they didn't own their life? You can guide me, but never mandate me. You, grown-ups, aren't supposed to live as a threat to the young ones. Because of you, I wanted to stay ten years old for the rest of my life."

I thought she would get scared of me, but she didn't.

"Oh, you wanted to decide recklessly on your own? Is that it? Come on!"

She grabbed my hands again with a stronger grip this time. When we were near the portal, it closed. Oh god, I felt so damn happy. But again, I couldn't express it.

"Chandra! When are we leaving this place?" some kid spoke. I roamed my eyes and find for the girl. It didn't take that long before I saw her.

"No, we're stuck here. Let's wait for a week and the portal might open. For now, this boy right here will live with us," she said. She turned her face into me, fixed my hair, and looked at the girl. "You boy will live with us for a week. That wouldn't hurt. For sure, within that timeframe, you will lose the spark or the desire to live here. You'll get hurt if you still insist, kid. And by the way, that girl is Amara, she's my grandchild."

Our eyes met. I feel the chill inside me. There was a different meaning when I locked my gaze on her. It's like the world stopped spinning. A connection! There's a connection.

'Who are you?' I asked through my head and did not bother on asking it verbally. But I was shocked when she responded.

'I'm Amara. You? Why are you here? Why are you bringing this strange feeling?'

I covered my mouth. I can't believe it. She could hear my thoughts. So, should I stop thinking about her?

She rolled her eyes. W-wait... did she hear what I just said?

"What are you doing? Why are you looking at each other without a word?" asks Chandra, but both of us did not budge. We won't stop staring and talking through our thoughts... even though she is a bit grumpy.

After a few minutes of staring contest, her head hurts. Her body dropped to the ground. Still, I'm not bothering to move or try to check on her. What if he is just playing pranks? She's just a kid, a ten-year-old kid, I know what runs through her mind. But I was wrong.

Chandra saw Amara on the ground, hurting. She was scared and shocked as well.

"Go upstairs. You might not want to see what will happen to her," says Chandra while looking at me.

That gives light into the darkness of this situation. Something is happening to her so she's the one who takes care. But what is it? I want to know- I'm dying to know.

'Are you a werewolf?' I asked through my mind again, even though there was a -0.9 percent of probability for her to hear me within the period of hurting her head. But I was right... she could still hear me.

She fought the sickening headache and looked at me sharply, like a horrifying tiger, or a venomous cobra... she didn't hesitate to look at me only to give me a scary look. Then she answered me, 'Don't you dare ask me such vulgar questions, or you will regret meeting me, kid.'

Instead of feeling anxious or scared, I smiled. She gives me goosebumps and curiosity as well. She makes me wonder who she is. While she is still looking at me sharply, I also glared at her.

'Let's see who will regret... kid.'

Never, in my entire life, have I ever felt this connection when I was in the human realm. The link that keeps on getting disentangled makes me wonder who she really is and her purpose in my life. I've been bombarded with my own questions in my mind and I want answers. Answers that should come not from me, Amara, or even Chandra. I want an answer from the divinity disguised in a way that someone like me could understand.

Why do I have to meet her?

Is she really a werewolf?

Why is she experiencing that much pain?

Am I about to feel the same pain?

Amara and I are still holding the intimidating glare, not even trying to budge. Although I could see how hurt is she feeling because of the throbbing headache, I'm not planning to give up. Not a single chance I would let her go. The growing tension keeps our gaze locked onto each other. This is just the beginning, but I'm already getting excited.

Amara gritted her teeth. Her facial structure started to change. She looks like she's about to transform into something else, much worse than expected. I was just watching her, waiting for her unexpected transformation.

Before it successfully happen, Chandra knocked me out.

--

"Why do you have to put him to sleep?" asks Amara.

My head feels so heavy, but I think I could now manage to lift my head.

"Because I can't focus. You two keep on looking at each other like you were talking telepathically," Chandra responded.

I realized what she is talking about and who she is talking to. Although it was difficult, I did my best to stand up and confront Chandra.

"How did you know?" I asked.

"What? You mean, you two could talk between your minds?" asks Chandra.

"Yes, we can," I butted in, still having a heavy headache. "What just happened, Chandra?"

Chandra elegantly looked at me. She's not bothered, not even a bit.

"You heard me, right?" she repeated.

I rolled my eyes, crossed my arms across my chest, and accidentally landed my gaze on Amara. She already laid her eyes on me before I do. Just like me, I know she could feel the spark the same way as I do. The connection keeps on making a way for us to have an unintentional conversation. She has two different vibes. The original that I could sense is this type of her- the cold-hearted girl.

I stepped forward, planning to go near her. I wanted to examine her face.

"Just to remind you, kids, you're only ten years old. It's impossible to find your mate at such an early age," Chandra butted in.

That was a nice move to divert my attention. I feel like I was about to get sucked in by her.

"Yuck! Stop stating such disgusting statements, Chandra," says Amara.

"Mate?" I asked. "What do you mean by 'mate'?"

Chandra stopped stitching pieces of clothes and looked at me with a serious face. When our eyes met, I knew she was dangerous. No one can touch her.

"It is what we called to the one we were meant to be with. Your mate is your other half, the one who could tame you and your werewolf."

I was shocked.

"You mean, you guys couldn't tame your werewolf?" I asked again. I'm lucky she's not getting sick yet.

"Not unless we're on the right age."

"How come I can?" I ask.

Chandra looked confused and amazed at the same time.

"Are you serious?"

I was about to ask again, but I felt the spark. It flowed through my vein like electricity. When I looked at Amara, she was also hurting. I went near her. My fangs are now showing. Even my fingernails kept on growing. The growling is now starting to resound throughout the whole forest. Without a warning, I felt the urge to growl too.

Chandra worriedly laid her eyes on us. So, this isn't about the little connection between Amara and me.

"What's happening?" I asked.

"It's a full moon."

I growled after hearing her response. The urge to make it louder and scarier activated inside me. I smelled blood. This is the second time my tummy felt so hungry. I kept on drooling as my eyes are doing their job to find my prey. It didn't take that long before I finally found a human. Without a doubt, I run and chase for it. Damn, the hungriness grew.

A group of werewolves found the same prey as I did. Like a dog, we growled at each other, barking like a lowly damn poodle. I was a small werewolf. They looked down on me, spit on my face, laughed, and most importantly- they threw me out.

"A ten-year-old? Really? Haha! What a piece of cake."

This gives me chills. The hatred grows inside me, and the desire to make them pay motivates me to kick their asses. But before I executed my revenge, a werewolf already attacked the pack of werewolves who bullied me. Because of this chaotic event, our prey already flees. Most importantly, the pack of werewolves is now on their knees. All of them shifted into their human form. A pack of werewolves is kneeling in front of the werewolf who saved me. She then shifted into her human form as well. I was shocked to see Amara.

"D-did she just... attack them?" I murmured. It's the safest way to keep my thoughts sealed- by whispering.

The pack of werewolves gets down on their knees. It doesn't matter whether Amara is just a ten-year-old kid. Their concern is to get away from her. They're so scared of her. Is it just me or it's really odd?

Without a word, Amara walked away from them and looked at me coldly.

"It's because of Chandra. She wanted me to keep you safe from these kinds of goons," she said, advancing into answering my upcoming questions obviously painted to my face.

My heart beats faster.

"B-but..." I uttered, while Amara continued on walking away from me, leaving me hanging. It's odd to feel this. But there's pain.

"Why are you so concerned about her?" says Chandra while sending those goons away by just using her fingers, by snapping them.

"I'm not! Who says that, Chandra?!"

"Oops, be careful. A fish could get caught by its own mouth," she replied, winking.

My brows furrowed. I can't believe I'm having this strange feeling of not being mad about her accusation. Instead, this gives me excitation.

"I should go and follow him," I said.

I started to walk toward Amara, and before I performed the next stepping period, Chandra spoke.

"Don't develop any strange connection with her, would you?" she asks.

I turned my head upon her.

"What are you talking about?"

She sighed and slowly walked toward me.

"You just entered this world. You know nothing about Amara. It's better to keep your relationship this way. It's better to continue fighting rather than growing closer to each other. I think I would never feel bothered by your presence if you keep it that way," she says.

Every time she opens her mouth and the weight of her words is somehow creepy. But I don't understand.

"How could I stop it if it's already there?" I asked bluntly. "It's the default. As much as I wanted to do what you want and as much as I wanted to forsake her, the connection wouldn't go."

She came near me and grabbed my collar. Slowly, I felt my body floating, only to realize that Chandra is lifting me into the air. Her face looks exasperated. But I just smiled, adding fuel to the fire, to provoke her even more.

But as I did that, Chandra released me using her hand and released a spell to electrocute me.

"Terrence!" Amara shouted and run into me. "Are you okay?"

I was shocked. Is this the Amara I knew? What's with her and she's acting so kind-hearted? I looked at Chandra. She's sweating too much and scared. I turned my gaze back on her, fighting the pain that Chandra caused. Then I realized, the connection I was just talking about to Chandra is now gone. So we're disconnected? But why?

Chandra dragged Amara away before I knew it, and she didn't refuse. Instead, while being dragged, she looked at me and speak without a word, "I will come back to you."

Creepiness filled my body. If that wasn't Amara, who is she?

Goosebumps are all I feel.

It's strange that I hated her whenever she was being so cold and showing her thoughtless behavior. But she seems so fake and insincere after seeing her act diametrically.

I followed Chandra.

Slowly, I walked near their destination. My guts kept on telling me to move slowly or Chandra will send me away. I feel like this kind of situation must keep a secret. I kept on gulping as I was starting to get closer. I'm sweating so badly as if I came from running a marathon.

In the end, my guts made me hate myself even more for speculating about Chandra.

"What?" she asked after catching me eavesdropping and trying to invade their privacy. "What are you thinking?" she added.

I was about to state my apologies. Not until wild screams and strange noises, came out from her place- where she dragged Amara- and I know that it's something she wouldn't allow me to see, but I need to.

Her face turned pale. She was shocked, then she looked at where the screams were coming from, back and forth- couldn't find a perfect word to fit to cover this situation. I glared at her.

"What have you done to Amara?" I asked, glaring.

Before she even got the chance to create a new bubble in my mind for me to believe, I ran behind her. I followed where the screams are coming from. However, this place is even creepier than I expected.

When I entered, it looked like a simple nipa hut. But after entering, inside is like a mansion with a bunch of doors and stairs. And the screams feel like coming from all the doors I'm seeing.

I covered my ears because this is getting on my nerves. I'm starting to feel like I'm about to get under hypnosis... and I wanted to cry!!!!

When I felt the weakness run in my veins, I heard my wolf inside.

"You're not ready, are you?" the dog asks. And I started to wail, covering my ears, hoping it would stop the noise.

What do you expect from a ten-year-old? I'm scared. Even though I'm a werewolf, which I'm not yet even sure about, I was raised a human. I'm scared of everything.

Chandra's footsteps are approaching, holding her elegant and creepy aura. I cried and didn't even bother to answer my wolf. I cried and shouted for my parents- Rosalinda and Reney. I did the only solution I have ever known as a child- crying.

Chandra's feet lie across me. She then leveled her face to my height.

"Wh-"

"No, Amara, don't hurt him," Chandra said.

W-what? I don't understand.

Slowly, as curiosity runs continuously in my blood, I turned my head up to take a look. Amara is frozen, maybe because of Chandra, into the air- holding her last position before getting caught. It was appalling to realize that... my thoughts failed me again. It wasn't Chandra's fault for making a way for me to not see this- it was mine.

Amara was in front of me, and what's more interesting? She shifted into her werewolf form, all those fangs, long fingernails, the way she drools in front of me, and her eyes... they appear as if it wasn't Amara. It feels like a demon.

My curiosity now leads me to more suspicious speculations. I need an answer.

Chandra went closer to me and sat down. This old lady looked at me with care and sympathy. What is there to pity about?

"I don't know why I couldn't identify you, or even read your thoughts, but I think, even if you belong in this world, you should go before she harms you," she says. That single sentence made me question one thing, and I didn't just trap it inside my head.

Out loud, I ask, "Then why do you have to know who I am?"

It was quiet, a deafening one after I ask a question that I think seemed vulgar to her, and she remains her gaze locked on me. I almost thought she would never answer my question. But she did, surprisingly. Or should I even be surprised? After all, her presence is quite an odd one to me. Even this place looks haunted. After seeing a man and a woman werewolf fighting each other until the woman met her death, the thought of a mysterious secret flowed through my mind.

"I am something you shouldn't be asking a normal question. I am something that everyone needed. But right now, I have to hide because what I possess is out there, maybe under the possession of the werewolves I tried to hide from. I hope this would be the last question you would ask, kid. The more you dig deeper, the more it will hurt your soul."

I would be lying if I say that it didn't scare me. However, that couldn't stop me from digging deeper. I stayed looking straight into her eyes. I want an answer leading to my identity. I would be lying again if I say that I accepted being a werewolf right before I knew it. I need to know how I ended up living in the human realm. But how could I ask her?

The questions that kept running circles through my mind stopped when Amara was finally freed from being frozen. She sought for my neck and strangled it. She locked me up on the walls while sticking her tongue out, reaching for my liver- waiting for me to die.

"AMARA! I SAID STOP!" Chandra shouted. But Amara is unstoppable. Even Chandra couldn't stop her.

I can feel my face turning purple as my oxygen starts to lose. When I was about to lose my breath, something in my neck glowed. Any magical thing around me stops, including Amara's intense desire to kill me. Amara shifted quickly back into her human form- surprised to see me dying in front of her. A grain of tears flowed from her eyes while looking back and forth between me and her hands. She shook her head and continued crying. Then after a while of recovering from a confusing scenario, she looked for Chandra. When she found her, Amara didn't hesitate, and she hugged her.

"I'm sorry."

Two syllables, full of meaning and emotions. The way she said it, I can feel her sincerity and guilt. But I don't understand, why say sorry after committing a crime?

"Chandra, what in the world is happening? Care to explain?" I asked. I know this is too disrespectful to ask in the middle of their hugging. But I think, I deserve to know, even at least half of the truth.

Chandra disentangle the hugged she shared with Amara and just looked at me. I don't know if she's trying to scare me or what, but the former matched how I felt.

"Amara has two souls."