Caught A Heather

I woke up early in the morning to jog outside and to refresh myself before the start of our class next week. I wore a pair of leggings with a stripe going along the seams which made my legs look so long as I'm running. I also styled it with a simple sports bra to let my bottoms be the hero of my look.

I fixed my earphones and higher the volume of the music I am listening to. I tried my best to forget all the memories that would just ruin my mood for today. As much as possible, I want to have a rest. Physically, emotionally and mentally.

Instead of enjoying my summer vacation, all I did was study because that's what my parents want me to do. They said I need to study this and that to know our business. At the age of nineteen, I am still dependent on my surroundings. Why? Because they see me as a model, so I need to be one. They find me attractive, even if for myself I am not.

I stopped midway when my phone beeped because of a notification. It's a comment from one of those followers of mine.

"You're a heather," I read what it says.

My forehead creased and my lips slightly protruded.

"Am I?" I asked myself.

This is not the first time someone would tell me about it. Many of them were noticing me from the start. They saw me as heather because I'm gorgeous and attractive they said. They also said that I have a good personality, know how to approach people, and exactly know how to befriend them.

I will not be humble enough to deny that I am kind. Yes, I am kind. Because that's what my grandma taught me to. Be kind to everyone even if that person doesn't deserve it. Why? Simply because everyone deserves to be treated that way. But do they deserve that? Somehow I am kinda confused about what my grandma taught me. Some people would do bad things to you without conscience. But after that, you still needed to be kind. Why would I? Do they deserve that? But no matter how my brain stops my heart from caring, I always ended up caring.

My soft personality reflects the personality of my grandma. She already passed away just a year ago. She's always my savior, my hero, and my love. In my darkest times, she's always there as a lustrous star of my night. Because of her, I learned how to forgive people. Because of her, I managed to collect the pieces of myself. She taught me the meaning of life. She taught me the value of love. I learned to love because of her, but also ended up breaking myself when she passed away.

The sun is slowly rising. I am running fast and quick so that its light won't be able to touch my skin. I am afraid of brightness, I am afraid to watch the sun rising. Because it represents a new day which everybody loves but I hate, I rather don't know why.

A new day for me means new stress, new pressure, and new pain. I'm not like this before, I even loved watching a sunrise when I was a kid. But I don't know. All of that changed because of one memory. A memory that keeps me from darkness and hated the morning of tomorrow.

A memory that blocked me from forgetting, and that was the harder fight I need to endure every day.

When I reached the park, I noticed that I am not even sweaty. What can you expect? I didn't bother to show myself under the light of the sun. Instead of heat, I just made myself colder.

I came out of the tree to let myself welcome the wind blowing as well as the heat coming from the king of the morning.

I smiled when I realized that I still feel nothing. How can I appreciate the vibrance of the morning when no one sincerely wants to be with me? Heather, huh? I thought they are the ones who people want to be with?

I sighed. Why am I even thinking about it? Besides, I am not yet in the right condition to interact with someone right now.

"Miss?" A baritone voice from nowhere filled my ears.

I just said in my thoughts that I am not in the right condition to interact with someone now, right? Why can't I have peace even just for a while?

"Miss, you dropped your handkerchief," he said.

I slowly opened my eyes and saw a man standing in front of me. He's wearing lazy attire with his glasses on.

Wait, he's kinda familiar though.

"Did I see you somewhere...?" I hesitated to ask.

He chuckled and fixed his glasses.

"Nice seeing you again, Bella..." he said.

My eyes widened a fraction when I realized who it was.

"Pierce!" I greeted.

He was my classmate last year. We didn't get along that much because as much as possible, I don't wanna have friends. I completely don't want them anymore because I once have those friends who stayed before just for the popularity. And because of being innocent at all times, I am being advantaged.

"How are you?" he asked and motioned me to sit on the bench just beside the swing.

We sat there and continued our conversation.

"I am fine, how about you?" I asked.

He shrugged. "Still into you," he jokingly said.

Both of us laughed at that, but I'm a bit embarrassed though. Uneasiness is always there when I'm with people, that can't vanish so easily. Then again, I always need to gather myself and strengthen my core for I don't want to be judged. You know me, I'm a person who's afraid of judgment. So as much as possible I'm trying my best to be perfect. Because being perfect means no judgment for me. Or that's just what I thought?

We continued chatting with each other until I had to bid my farewell for I still have other errands to do.

"It's nice seeing you again, Pierce." I sincerely said.

He laughed. "Still the soft and kind, Bellamy. How can I move on if you're being like that?" he jokingly asked.

I chuckled. "Try to look on the other girls and you'll see the beauty on them," I advised and give him a tap on the shoulder before leaving.

I jogged back to the house and when I stepped on the mansion, maids immediately come towards me to give me a new towel.

"Thank you, Ya..." I said.

"Breakfast, Quinn?" She asked.

"Just bring it to my room, please..." I said before going to my room.

I took a bath for an hour and it feels so refreshing. After bathing, I left the bathroom wearing a white robe. The food is already there, I am not yet hungry though, I just forced myself to eat because I don't want to waste food.

After that, I dressed up myself. I have nowhere to go. I just needed it to feel that I'm beautiful and fresh. Most of the woman wants to dress up beautifully because it somehow gives them a lighter mood on a day. Fashion kinda reflects us, women. It makes us more confident and gorgeous every day.

I then proceeded to the study room to prepare for our class next week. I started reading and highlighting the book my mother bought.

Honestly, I am not that smart as you thought. But I needed to be on top, always. That's why I'm studying my ass hard, in that way, I'm sure that my parents would be genuinely proud of me. Do you know the feeling of being pressured in everything that you'd do? That's exactly what I'm feeling all my life, even worse than you imagine.

I studied for two to three hours and stopped when I feel dizzy. I rested on the terrace for an hour to breathe some fresh air. My thoughts wandered until they made my headache. I was about to enter inside when a luxurious car caught my attention, it's just one street away from our house. I don't know what's gotten into me why am I suddenly have the interest to look for who it was.

I did not disappoint when I saw a man exiting the car. He's wearing a sunglasses, white t-shirt which revealed his muscles and veins, and a pair of black tight pants which hugged his legs perfectly. Even just from afar, I can already tell that the man is good-looking.

I saw how he took off his sunglasses before roaming his eyes around. I didn't take off my gaze at him too, I don't why. I stared at him intently. I am still enjoying watching him when his gaze suddenly stopped on my spot. My eyes widened in friction and quickly turn my body against him so that he will not notice that I also stared at him. But he already saw me, right?! So it means he also caught me staring at him!

Even when I am not looking at him already, I can feel that he's not yet leaving his gaze on me. His stares were like daggers attacking my back.

Gosh, you made a wrong move, Bellamy.

With that, I decided to leave the terrace and enter the study room like nothing happened. But one question is still playing on my mind.

Who is he?

I am now having dinner with my family. As usual, no conversation at all. All you can hear is the sound of the utensils we are using. In short, boring and a bit suffocating. If I had a choice, I would like to eat my dinner alone. But eating with them just happens rarely so I should not decline.

"How're your studies, Tyson?" My father asked my brother who's just beside me.

My brother slowly put his utensils down before answering my dad. "It's fine dad," he said.

I saw how my parents' forehead creased because of what he said.

Then my mom spoke. "Fine? Are you doing your best, Tyson Alastair?" She seriously asked.

My brother maintained his calm face and later nodded. "Of course mom," he replied.

My mom's brows furrowed. "Just make sure everything is doing very well, I am counting on you, Tyson." she said.

I looked down when their gazes turned at me.

"How about you, Quinn?" My father asked.

I drink my water before answering them. "I'm ready with the incoming opening of class, dad," I said.

'So much ready that it already suffocates me.' I said in my thoughts.

My mom smiled. "Of course you are, did you read the books I bought for you?" she asked.

I nodded. "Yes mom, I already finished them just an hour ago," I said.

Her smile widened. "Good," she said.

I continued eating and let my mind zoned out. Why most of our parents want us to be perfect? Why can't they understand that we can only do a certain thing at a time? Don't they know the word 'perfect timing'?

Honestly, I wanted to complain. I wanted to burst out my emotions. But, why can't my heart stop caring? Why can't my heart stop loving? Am I the only one feeling this way?

Every time wanted to give up, I remember that I still have a family. A family who should be the one supporting me. But mine is the opposite, they support me when their friends are around. But when we are already alone, I don't feel that support anymore. Indeed, they want us to always be on top so they would have something to boast about on their friends. Is that only my value in this family?

I can maintain my fake smiles in front of many people. But trust me, when I'm alone? I feel like dying. My life is completely a game. A game played by my parents and hosted by the people around me. What am I? I'm the game. I'm the one who's being played. I know I'm stupid for letting them decided for myself but what can I do? My mind is always on haywire. How can I decide for myself in that state?

I lay on my bed and let my mind wander again. Is this me? What's my purpose? Why am I here?

"Mamu..." I whispered. If only my grandma is here, for sure she'll answer all my questions. With her beside me, I can tell the reason why I am waking up every day. With her beside me, I can be able to be strong. People are only being strong if they have a reason to be one. What would I do if the only reason for me being strong already left me?

I wiped the tears from my eyes. Did you see what's the result of overthinking every night? It can kill you, mentally and emotionally.

I watched the clock as it ticks for I think it might help me to doze off to sleep but it doesn't. In the end, I just decided to rise from bed and get a jacket before secretly leaving the mansion. It's nine in the evening, street lights give shine to my way to the nearest convenience store. I welcomed the cold air and peacefully walked on the sidewalk. I put my hands on the pocket of the jacket and freely enjoyed my walk.

I am not even afraid of going out this late, I don't know but I feel managed this time. When I stepped inside the convenience store, I decided to buy some chocolate ice cream to calm my system.

"Thank you," I said to the cashier after paying for the ice cream.

I seated on the table on the side and started eating my ice cream. Then a memory came and flashed on my mind, it was me and my grandma, same time, same location, and same food. If only I knew that it would be our last moment together, I hope I did spend more time with her.

What others said was so true, regrets are in the end. I realized that when she left, permanently.

My stomach hurt for a second so I held it. When the pain was gone, I was about to lose my hand off it when a memory flashed again.

My eyes widened when that part of my past came into my mind. With trembling hands and teary eyes, I looked down and saw my flat stomach.

My eyes got even wetter when I remembered someone. Someone who didn't have the chance to live in this world. Someone who I didn't even meet. Damn, I am sorry.

"Miss?" A baritone voice wakes me up from thinking.

"H-huh?" I replied out of nowhere.

"I said, may I sit here?" he coldly asked.

I just nodded and didn't bother to look up to him. He will see me crying if I did. My tears already stopped falling so I held my pocket secretly for I thought that I brought a handkerchief with me but then realized that I haven't had one!

"Here," the man said before gesturing the handkerchief on his hand.

I stealthy looked at him before getting the handkerchief in his hand without realizing who he was.

"Thanks," I softly said. I didn't mean to sound like that, alright? That's my natural voice.

When I looked up at him, my eyes widened when I realized who it was. He was the man I stared at before!

He just continued eating on his cup noodles, completely ignoring me.

"He's snob," I accidentally said out loud my thoughts without realizing it.

He stopped eating and stared at me. "Excuse me?" he chuckled.

I confusedly looked at him too. "Huh?"

"You said I'm snob," he stated.

My eyes widened. "Can you read my mind?!" I surprisingly asked.

His forehead creased. "You just said I'm snob," he said.

"But that was just on my mind!" I said.

I blinked when I heard him chuckled. "So you think I'm snob..." he said.

"Can you read my mind?" I asked, ignoring his words. I need to know how he knew my thoughts!

"You said it out loud," he said suppressing a smile.

My eyes widened and covered my mouth. "Did I?!"

He chuckled. "Your ice cream is melting," he pointed on the ice cream before going back to his food.

I looked at my food too and got disappointed when it's a bit melting. Because it's ice cream so it would melt, right?

My lips protruded and continued eating my ice cream. I completely forgot the reason why I am here because of this guy in front of me. I don't know why but I didn't feel any harm to him. I can't explain it all right now, but one thing is sure.

He went here to freshen up too. It's obvious because of the stress written all over his face.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

He looked at me like I said something horrible.

"What?" I confusedly asked.

He shook his head and looked back on his empty food.

"Are you okay?" I asked again.

This time he finally answered. "No."

For someone who has a problem, he's honest enough to say out loud his true feelings, even it's on a stranger. We're the opposite. He's honest while I'm secretive.

"Oh, you can get through it, Sir. Trust the process," I said.

His cold aura has gone when he suddenly heard what I said. His face became amused for I don't know the reason why.

"Sir?" He chuckled.

I nodded repeatedly as a response. "You seemed old," I said. I don't why but I completely did not regret what I said. Maybe because he's a stranger? That's why I can freely show him my other side?

He amusedly looked at me. "Me? Old? Really?"

Finally, I chuckled, and it was a genuine one.

"Joke! You don't look old for me, neighbor." I just said.

"Now, neighbor?" he chuckled.

My lips protruded. "For sure you will not tell me your name and neither I. So I'll just call you neighbor," I said.

He chuckled and nod his head. "Okay, neighbor."

It's Saturday when I decided to go to the mall and buy some school supplies that are needed on Monday.

I wore a cardigan with a long top inside it. I styled it with a pair of jeans and white shoes. I turned my hair into a bun before wearing my sunglass.

My parents aren't here again, they are busy managing our business in our other branches. My brother wasn't here too, he flew from here to Canada to continue his studies there. I am all alone in the house except for our maids.

"Miss Bellamy, where are we going?" my driver asked me when I stepped outside.

"Mall, Dada. Thank you," I said when he opened the door for me.

We talk a bit in the middle of the ride until he let me have a rest when saw me yawning. I'm not sleepy, though. Even if I did not have a proper sleep last night.

"Are you going to buy something?" he asked before maneuvering the car on the Mall's parking lot.

"Yes, Dada. I'm gonna buy some supplies for school. Thank you! Bye..." I said before exiting the car.

"Enjoy shopping," I heard him say before I left.

I know it's bad to compare your parents with others but sometimes, I really can't help it. Dada is my driver for how many years now, and in those years, he did not make me feel that I am just his boss. He treated me like I am his daughter too, so far the way my parents are treating me. I can feel his genuine love and support every time I would tell him something I simply achieve. Unlikely, my parents couldn't even congratulate me if that achievement isn't that high. Aside from my grandma, he is the one I am running to every time my family would make me feel empty and unloved. Family support, family love, family- what are those? I want to feel that too.

I entered the Mall and was being greeted by the guard so I greeted back. It made my day, honestly. I am a very appreciative person, once you've done something good to me, that will not leave my mind and heart for a very long time. But if you've done the opposite, it would leave my mind but not my heart. I have a fragile heart of loneliness, no matter how hard I try to trust a friend again, I really can't. I am approachable, yes. But that did not make me a friendly person. How can you tell that I am friendly if I even have no friends? Trust issues nowadays can make a person crazy. That's why consider yourself lucky if someone gave you their trust, don't ever try to ruin it.

I entered the bookstore and looked for some novels to read. When I say I love books, this is what I mean. Reading novels is more enjoyable than reading textbooks for me.

I looked for some teen romance novels and did not disappoint when found a good one. I was about to get it when suddenly someone also pulled it from the other side of the shelf. My forehead creased and pulled the book but that someone did not even loosen its hold on the book.

But I am the first one to found it?

I took a peek to see who it was and got startled when I saw the guy from the other night, my neighbor. He did not saw me yet but when his gaze turned at me, I didn't get any reaction from him, like he already expects us to see each other again.

"Hi..?" I awkwardly greeted.

I saw him suppressing a smirk before greeting back. "Hello, neighbor," he amusedly said.

"U-uh, you can have the book," I said gesturing the book. But I want to read that too.

He raised a brow and chuckled. I was expecting him to give it up to me but he didn't! My lips protruded when he walked away. He did not even bother to thank me!

I looked for other books but no one caught my interest anymore, so I just proceeded in buying my school supplies and paid for them. I was about to leave the place when an arm stopped me.

"Wanna read it with me?" he asked. I looked up to him and is welcomed by his lazy look. His hair is kinda curly and messy but that only makes him more handsome. He's wearing a lazy outfit too.

"U-uh," I can't even form a word! I thought he left already. I wanted to read it too but with him..? Do you think it's awkward?

"Or you want to read it first before me?" he asked. "Since you're a lady so ladies first?" he added.

My face formed a frown before thinking deeply.

"Did you already pay for it?" I asked.

"Yes, I have my money you know," he said that arrogantly!

"Can I read it first?" I shyly asked. "I'll pay for the half!" I added. I asked the staff a while ago and she said that it was the last stock so I have no choice but to deal with him since I badly want to read the book.

"Don't you want to read it with me?" he amusedly asked.

My eyes panicked. "U-uh, it's not like that!" I said.

He chuckled. "I want to read it with you though. I wanna hear your thoughts about the book," he said.

I bit my lower lip unconsciously. Will I agree with him? He doesn't look like a bad person. But he didn't even bother to tell me his name yet!

"My name is Keane," he said out of nowhere.

"H-huh?" Why does he always know my thoughts?! Is he a mind-reader or something?

"I'm not a mind-reader," he said.

"H-how did you know my thoughts then?" I confusedly asked.

He shrugged. "Your face tells," he said.

So he's Keane. Do I need to introduce myself too? I was about to speak when someone called me from afar.

"Bellamy!" The guy called. He's chubby and has tan skin.

I gulped when I realized who it was. It was one of my classmates last year and he's a bit creepy. I'm not afraid of him like anybody else but he just came at the wrong time right now!

I awkwardly smiled at him. "H-hi..." I uttered.

"What are you doing here?" he asked before eyeing the man behind me.

"Uh, buying books..?" I asked.

He chuckled. "Yeah, of course, because it's a bookstore. I haven't seen you for a while now, how are you?" he asked.

I smiled. "I'm fine.. how about you?" I asked.

"I am good too, I'm having my therapy as of now," he said.

I genuinely smiled. "That's good," I said.

He smiled. "Yeah, you know... new life," he said.

He then eyed the man behind me again before asking. "Boyfriend?"

My lips parted because of shock. "U-uh, no. We're neighbors," I stated. My cheeks are heating so much because of embarrassment.

He nodded before looking at Keane again. He did not talk to me longer anymore because he has other errands to do.

"Bye," I waved back.

I faced the man behind me and shyly smiled.

"Didn't know that you have a bad taste when it comes to men," he said out of nowhere.

My forehead creased. What the- is he saying?

"Excuse me?" I confusedly asked.

He chuckled. "It's a joke, don't take it seriously Bellamy," he said.

I raised a brow and playfully pouted my lips.

"Now you know my name," I said.

He chuckled. "Obviously," he said. He's always laughing around me, am I his happy pill or something?

"Keane, I am Bellamy. Can I read the book with you?" I asked and beamed.

I don't rather know why I suddenly got comfortable with him. Just what I only know, I did not regret what I said at all.

I saw him smile and comfortably looked at me. His presence screamed safety and comfort, maybe that's why I don't feel harmed around him.

"It's my pleasure to read it with you, Heather."

My cheeks heated more because of what he said.

"Where is your next destination after this?" he asked after the silence.

"Uh, I will buy some clothes," I said.

"Can I go with you?" he asked.

Shopping with him? I haven't had someone to be with me in shopping for a long time now.

"Okay, sure," I agreed.

We didn't talk while we're on our way towards a shop. Silence filled the both of us, and it's making me awkward!

But then an hour later, we're already arguing about the dress I am buying.

"That's too short," he pointed out. I thought he would just accompany me!

"It's cute!" I said.

"But too short," he said.

Why are we arguing about this anyway? We look like a couple arguing and I'm already hearing whispers from other people!

And Keane, he's enjoying it so much! Amusement is written all over his face while watching my face.

"Are you pissed, Love?" he asked with tenderness. That sent shivers to my whole system so I was remained stunned while looking at him. L-love?

What on earth is happening to him?