CRAVINGS

Four weeks, three days and nine hours has gone by, yet I picture you so close to in my thought. Each second m, each minute, each night spent without hearing your cute little whimpers are torture. Yes torture to my heart, and soul. I sleep with you on my mind and when I wake, your smiling face engulfs my mind. I know I can't tell you enough of how much I Love you, it was love at first sight. Even I was surprised and mad at myself. I have failed me, I broke my own rules and debunk my principles. My heart skipped a million beat a second the moment I laid my eyes on you.

I thought I was having a panic attack. I have fallen for your laugh, which is utterly contagious l, I have fallen for your smile which makes me giddy for no reason at all, I've fallen for the way your bite your lower lips when you get nervous and also the way your twirl your pencils when you're spacing out. Lol I've fallen for those deep brown eyes, your hair, your perfect lips... I missed everything. Yeah everything. Oh, Don't think I will forget your moles, no baby I won't. I love the moles on your body, I love the one on the left side of your boobs just underneath your nipple, that's my Favourite. *wink* Did I forget to mention how cute, and flushed you look when you blush, just as you're doing now. Even if I wanted to cry for a moment, I've fallen for every second I got to spend with you, even though those seconds left me craving for more. I know sometimes I'm a little bit of disappointment. I rarely know what I want to think before I act, I still want you to know that in a lifetime full of confusion and wrong decisions and messes, you're the first thing that felt so right. My love Elsa..(don't ruin the moment trying to laugh now) I can't wait to have you in my arms, to see be overwhelmed by your sweet scent, to watch your face turn pink from grinning and blushing, and lastly to watch you fall asleep again in my arms. Though u still have a lot more to write, but I think my fingers are aching already, I will whisper the rest to your ears soon.

I love you so much,

Elsa Your's Kimora.

In this life a lot of people crave many things, money, acceptance, admiration, love, women. Personally I crave just one thing peace of mind, or ok maybe two women. Money? I don't crave money, I already breath that, acceptance? I don't think I need that, it's in the crowd it comes when called for I don't think it's being given to anyone, but when needed I might just get it, and trust me I don't need more than I have though, so not really a craving. Love? Let's not get to that part, I will say it's a game for the unwise, I'd played it of course I lost perfectly well.

I didn't believe in love, I believe in tolerance of another for a while, Feelings fades that's for sure, then why waste my precious time. Lust? Yeah, I believed in Lust. I'm 19, in college. My sophomore year actually. Art and music school, (we will get back to the school part later, my head is spinning) So, being a 19 year old I do the usual thing. I had a fake ID, and I would go to the clubs and drink few beers admire pretty women, talk to few and leave with one. I sometime get bored and will crave company, especially when I'm drunk. Don't be too quick to judge me yet. Don't worry when I drink too much I will call for my drive or maybe just Uber, I might be stupid but I'm not suicidal neither am I willing to kill Someone else. That's where I was tonight actually. Some gay bar in the giant City of Seattle not too far from my home. I needed to escape from my own thought sometimes, especially when I'm not in school or with anyone. I needed that free space in my head where there's nothing rather numbness. I'm actually here for a lot of reasons, which women are not among. Don't get me wrong though, I'm a big sulker for pretty women, but not tonight or should I say lately, for the past few weeks, I have decided to stay chastity for some personal reasons, and when I said that I meant it. How am I even doing that? I was lining up a shot when I saw someone lean on the table in the spot next to me, she had long blonde hair and blue eyes. Nice, if you like that sort of things, I guess our eyes are also meant for looking away from things you don't wanna see. She hovered over. Yes, I'm aware of those green lights, but nothing seemed to interest me, nothing about her. She's hot, the type any boy or girl will want to screw over for a night, let's say she's lucky I'm totally not in the mood, or rather not my kind of hot. I waved off her signals, ignoring her petty sexy acts, I'm not easily impressed. I reached for another shot and gulped down, feeling the burning sensation on my throat down my chest, as I wiped off my mouth with the back of my hand. "Okay, that's enough princess let's get your drunk as home now before you make me regret the day I meet you" zack said. I turned my direction to the boy beside with sweats on his bare chest like he just came out off some quickie. "You've been fucking?" Stay away from me m. I snared "Shut up bitch, at least I'm not here drinking to my misery like you're, one of us have to keep sane And I'm the only one capable of doing that" he said as he flipped his imaginary hair over hair. Most times when zack gets zesty it just gets me crack, like bruv, his just too cute! But yet a pain to the ass. "I can't really get my hands on what's wrong with you recently, one time you Lusting over a girl, the next minute you ain't giving a fuck or even looking at any's face even when they're throwing themselves to you weirdo!" He said rolling his eyes at me. "Zackie, you of all people is well aware that girl ain't my type" "Omg,". He gasped dramatically with his hands on his chest . "Kim don't you ever call me that again! I'm not some kindergarten boy" "zackie" he said mimicking me. "Shut up, I will call you whatever pleases me and your gay ass will do nothing about that" I blurted with a smirk on my face. "You will die slowly and lonely bitch" he spat, "let's get out of here" he said dragging me by my wrist outside the bar as he cleared the bills. "And you're sure to choke on one of those big fat dicks being shove down your throat" I replied groggily. "And I will die happily". "Get in" he said holding out the car door for me to get in. "Zack..?" "What" "I feel like I'm gonna puke" I said, rushing back out of the car. "Ewww, GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!! You disgusting animal" zack yelled. "Wasn't it your whole stupid idea to come suck a dick!." I spat. "I won't deny that but having to meddle with your puke is so uncalled for" My head is really spinning so bad, I can't stand his whining. "Boy, just love me and that's all" Now let's go I need me some rest, tomorrow my sorrow begins." I groaned before getting back into the car. As much as I want to get home quickly I'm more concerned about my life, for some reason I feel like this boy must have eaten something, he breathes differently. (Don't ask me how). This isn't the first neither the second time his dragging me out to a gay bar. Well I don't have anything against him, I blame myself for foolishly following him again after he almost got us killed, I mean we got almost crushed by an ambulance. "Lord into your hands I commit my Life" "Shut the fuck up girl!" You've got no one now expect me, so be grateful and ThankGod instead" Zack snared. I turned and rolled my eyes at him. I closed my eyes for second and breath out. Heaven knows I really can't do a thing right without him. Zack and I have known ever since we were like in the wombs, our mums were sort of best friends back in their college, they did almost everything together, got married to on the same day to my Dad who is also his Dad best pal, and not surprisingly they both decided to have a child same time. Left to me, I will say they're weirdos. We could be twining although we're but Zack never admits that, he keeps saying his older with five minutes. He shouldn't be saying that out loud. I just let him win whenever I'm in a good mood or when I feel like, other than that? He cries himself to sleep, he was born a bottom. We did almost everything together, same kindergarten, same high school, and of course we're doing college together, I'm like his breath of life. Uhmm and yeah, our parents for some reasons best know to them decided not to have another child. They sort of made the right decisions, cause I don't think we both will want that. We were like what people which they have, but couldn't, I mean we do everything together, although out of curiosity we might have just kissed couple of times between the age 10-11. Before we realize our differences and that we're better of the way we are not to complicate things that was the best decision ever, and it's not like Zack was born gay, maybe let's say he was in some sort of denial, well we tried being as normal and as straight as we could possible be but we both laughed so hard at our silly attempts. Oh, and we both might have a lot In common but we differs a lot for instance zack have marshmallows for a brain while I don't. He mostly wants to party and get fucked most of the time, while me on the other hand I'm so weak. I just want to get through the day as easily as possible, no matter who I step on to do it. "How do you two manage to get pass through the securities at those clubs, don't they check your ID's?" Curtis my Dad's personal driver and assistant asked, as zack and I managed to drive home safely. "You should be happy we both alive and fine". Zack said as he walk me to my room. " Let go of me me. I'm not a baby". I scoffed as I snatched my hands off his grip. "Girl you better watch your mouth, I'm like your saviour tonight, and I'm only doing you a favour which you will surely pay back" He snapped back, before turning his back on me, heading back to the exit. "Oh, and please don't get me waiting tomorrow, cause I will sure leave without your lazy ass if you ain't ready when I come back here!!" "Ugh..mother fucker!, why will I want to see your ugly face tomorrow" I mumbled,

"TOMORROW?!!"

OMG!!!

Back to hell "Kimora" "Mum I'm late already this is the 100th time you saying "I'm sorry," And I said it's fine, Stella already got all my stuffs and bag packed, you know that. Then why on earth are you still whining, I'm old enough to get married and have my own kids though". I said through the phone. I know she will scoff at me and roll her eyes before saying. "I don't care you're always gonna be my little princess Kimora". "Ewww, stop it woman! Don't call me a princess we've talked about this seriously after your last visit to my school". I replied.

"But we agreed not to only on public, it's just you and I here, over the phone so can't I princess you?" She said with a cute voice. I'm so embarrassed. "No mum, Stella is here so stop it already". "B..but.." she protested. "No buts, that's it" "Alright give Stella the phone let me talk to her" she continued. "No you should call her yourself, after I'm gone, I know what you getting at. Okay bye mum I need to go now, zack is here" "Huni you're breaking my heart if you're just gonna leave your mama like that" she whined. "Ughh... fine" I groaned . "I love you mum, muah " I groggily said and ended the call before she could say it back. How did I manage to survive again please? "Everything is all set Kim" a voice came from behind. "Already?" I asked as I took my attention off my phone to glance at the young woman standing right before me. Stella. She's been with me ever since I was young, more like she babysited me and ever since I've know her she doesn't seem to age at all, she's in her middle twenties obviously. Her honey coloured hair was neatly packed in a ponytail. She was on a jumpsuit that perfectly hugged her frame, fitting her slender legs, and her shoulder was slightly exposed from the finished button. I stood and gawked at her unconsciously, for some reason best know to me I have made up my mind to stay away from Women, especially pretty women, most especially when they're living with you, but most especially when they're your ex. Oops! I'm I supposed to say that yet. I don't know if I can count her as my ex or just among my lays. No wha we had was quite special. So I'm gonna give her the privilege to be called my ex. "What are you doing, are you gonna stand there and glare at me" she said with a smirk on her face. "Are you gonna stand there and look so fucking sexy, and you won't want me to stare? Ex-quees me ma'am" I said without taking my eyes off her body. "So..?" "So what?" She asked . "You going on a date after, or you just dressed for me? I said smirking, as I moved closer to her. "Darling get over yourself, and whoever gave you that idea should be punch on the face" she said chuckling. "I can get over myself, but the question is can you?" I said confidently with what seems to be evil smile. I look silly on that by the way. I watch her intensively as her chest rises and fall when she let out a deep breath. There she goes. I smirk at her as she get flush with redness on her face. I moved closer to her until there was no other place to run to, her back pressed on the wall. "I still can make you blush?" I asked, not that I was expecting any answers though "And wet?" I continued to tease her. "Ki..Kim" she stuttered before pushing me off her front and made her way out of the run. "Uhm, oh Sorriii" "Why the rush girl!!". Zack said approaching to my door. "I was gonna ask the same thing" I said as I threw my towel at his face. "Stop it bitch!!, I'm not in for no joke now" "Says the biggest joker I've ever known" "Not any more" "Y'all fucking again?" "I wish" "Then why on earth those she look like she's been caught fucking another man dick" I honestly can't stand this dude anymore. "I don't know, dude, now let me brush my teeth" I snapped at him before entering inside the bathroom. "I didn't waste my precious time dressing up and getting set to come watch you brush your nasty teeth". Zack said grumpily. "Well how many choices have you got?" "Come smell em" I said showing off my teeth at him as I put my my brush. "Be gone" he said waving me off like I'm nothing . How dare he. "I'm definitely going to kiss you now" I said as Ryan after hun in attempt to seal our lips together. "Stay away from me!!, with your puking mouth" Zack yelled as he ran around the room in circles. "Hey! That was mean, I don't smell like puke I pouted" "Whatever you smell like I don't wanna know, social distancing girl!!." He snapped. I laughed at his clumsiness. ".Kim, It's getting late." I could hear Stella yell from the garage. I finally, grabbed my pause and some important stuff of mine and headed downstairs. It's gonna be a very long journey. "Good morning miss Shelby" an older gentleman dressed in full black suit said as he got out from a jet black Mercedes, I don't think I know him but I'm very certain my Dad does. I nodded in acknowledgment and handed him my bags the plane just landed and I'm so exhausted, more exhausted by zacks annoying whimpers and grumpiness. The flight from seattle to my school was a very long journey and all I want to do now is to crash somewhere and sleep for days. A blaring sound interrupted my thought and I look down to see my phone ringing. "Hello?" "Kimora, it's your Father" I sighed deeply and rolled my eyes as he continued. "I just already to someone to come pick you guys to your hotels, and please darling, I want you to behave your self, I won't entertain any news or complaint from you, remember this is your second year." "I will love to have my credit card, thanks, and I'm hanging up now I'm so tired" I didn't even allow him to respond before hanging up the call. "I'm not making such promises" I mumbled to my self as I got into the car and rested my head back with my eyes closed. New country, new people maybe, same old Kim. At this point they might all seem new but not to me, I have been here before there's nothing new about the English country. "Get your head off me I'm not your man!" I mumbled pettishly at my best zack pushing his head off my shoulder. "You're my man!, I thought you knew?" He said giving me a whacky look. "You're a clown" "And you love clowns" "Shut up and sleep or I throw you out of this car" I snapped He gasped. "You won't dare" "Try me" I said raising a brow at him.