Burned by his lies

(Zara's Pov)

"Yes, yes, and yes again. For goodness' sake Celeste, I already said I'll be back soon. You need to stop crying now, okay"

I don't eavesdrop. I'm not the kind to stand behind doors and listen to people's conversations without their knowledge.

But when it's your husband on the call, with a very low voice almost like a whisper, and his tone sounding very desperate, your feet stop even before your brain notices it.

Not only is he hiding to make a call, but he also mentioned another woman's name. That alone made my feet stay rooted outside our half-open bedroom door. He is pacing as he tries to convince whoever it is on the other line and nothing prepares me for the next words that come out of his mouth.

"I already told you that it's nothing like that. Can't you understand?" His voice sounded short now. "If you would just give me some time, then I'll sort it out as soon as I'm back."

The woman on the other end said something that made him stop pacing and pinch his nose before replying.

"Nothing has changed. You're still my wife. We're legally married."

It would have been better if I had been hit by a truck because this one hit me harder than anything else. The shock from it made my legs tremble until I had to lean against the wall for support.

What did he mean by he was already legally married to someone else when we were on our honeymoon?

I needed answers and I needed them now. I pushed the door open, making him stop his pacing and whatever he was about to say.

"Who is Celeste?" I asked in a very calm voice despite what I was feeling inside. There was no time to beat around the bush.

Adrian froze and his eyes bulged before he quickly put on the cool mask I've gotten used to since I knew him.

He dropped the call just as quickly as his facial expressions shifted. Not even saying goodbye.

"Zara..."

I lifted up my hand, stopping him mid-sentence. "I'm asking you who Celeste is. So answer that."

"It's no one important. Trust me," he said, moving closer to me but I step back.

"It doesn't sound like it's no one important if you're legally married to her. So I'm going to ask you again Adrian, with the hope that I heard you wrong the first time. Who is Celeste?"

He hesitated, running his hands through his hair, his eyes looking at everything except me as he continued moving from one end of the room to the other. Seeing that there was no way out, he finally spoke and I wish he hadn't.

"She's my... my wife"

My heart stops beating as I stumble towards one of the chairs in the room. "Your wife? How? When?" I rub my temples trying to understand. "Wait. You're married? And you married me again?"

"Yes, but it's only on paper, Zara. It doesn't mean anything and she knows that I don't love her," he said, kneeling in front of me and holding my hands. "It's not real."

"It's not real? Are you serious? Can you even listen to yourself?" I quickly stand up to put some space between us.

"Yes, it's not. I love you and this..." he moves to me and takes my left hand where my wedding ring sits. "is what's real. I swear."

I pull my hand from his and his face falls but it doesn't stop me. "Love?" I scoff. "Why didn't you tell me that you already had a wife before we said those vows to each other last weekend?"

"It's complicated, Zara. Please, understand me," his voice rises as he speaks. He takes a deep breath before going on. "My father forced me into it. I didn't have a choice."

I laugh like I have lost my mind. And maybe I have "But you had the choice and every opportunity to tell me before I wore that dress, before I walked down the aisle and let you put a ring on my finger," I scream at him. "But you didn't. So you don't get to blame your father for that."

"I'm sorry, baby. I'll fix this I promise," he holds my face in his hands. "It's you I love and you know that."

"You married another woman. You have a wife, Adrian," I tell him. The tears were finally falling from my eyes.

"She means nothing to me," he says as he kisses the tears from my cheeks, then from my eyes and he finally kisses me.

"I know you're mad at me and you have every right to be but please don't leave me, Zee. Let me make this right. Let me do right by you, please. Allow me to fix this."

Our eyes are fixed on each other but I don't say anything.

"Don't give up on our love, baby." He continues kissing me. This time it's so intense. It's like he's trying to pour all his sincerity into the kiss and wipe away the last few minutes from the brain.

But a simple kiss can't erase the effects of the bomb he just threw down on me. It would take more than that.

I don't remember how we made our way to the bed. I was so lost in the moment. His kisses were like drugs to my senses. The way his hands hold my face so softly as the tears roll down and disappear between our moving lips.

I hate him but my body hasn't gotten it. And I hate how much I still crave him after he hurt me.

We move like drunk people. Holding on to something before we both crash. Except we already crashed a long time ago. His hands shake as they roam my body. I can taste the salt from tears. Is it mine? Is it his? I don't even know anymore.

Then suddenly, everything shifts. From slow, tender, and passionate to rough, intense, and desperate. To him, it may be make-up sex but to me, it's a burial. The last dirt on the grave.

He starts slowly and then later he's pounding into me. We're groaning and moaning until we reach the peak and he slips out of me, panting.

He falls to the side, his heavy arms around my waist as he hugs me from behind. "I love you," he says before falling asleep and breathing like he didn't just shatter my heart.

I didn't sleep. How could I when something else was burning in my mind? I lay quietly in the dark looking at the ceiling until I could no longer handle it.

I quietly unwrap his hands from my body and get out of bed. As soon as I am in the bathroom, I lock the door and open a cupboard where the hotel staff had left the box of pregnancy kits. A test I have been putting off since before the sham of a wedding we just had.

My hands are shaky as I open the box. I wanted to do the test now so the news could be a wedding gift to him. But standing now in the bathroom, I wasn't so sure anymore.

After following the instructions and peeing on the stick, the next five minutes felt like hours. And when I finally looked at the results, it confirmed what I already knew for a while now.

Two very clear lines stare back at me. I should be happy but it's difficult. Especially when the man isn't mine alone or even mine first.

I close my eyes as I whisper. "I am pregnant for a married man."

Zara's POV

I can't remember at what point I fell asleep last night but somehow I did. Waking up to the smell of coffee, I thought last night was just a dream. Not just any kind of dream, but a nightmare.

But the ache in my chest, my stuffy nose, and eyes that I can just feel how swollen they are were the wake-up call I needed before the memories rush back and hit me like a freight train.

It is real. The guy I just tied the knot with, the one I thought was the love of my life, belongs to someone else.

The man in question is standing by the window, looking outside like he's deep in thought. He's bare-chested and the sunlight reflecting on his toned abs and chiseled face makes him look almost heavenly and peaceful.

Like he could feel me staring at him, he turns and finds me standing by the door. He smiles like last night was just a scene taken out of my imagination. Like we're just some lovey-dovey couple on their honeymoon and he wasn't leading a dual life. Like our love wasn't destroyed by his lies.

"Good morning, baby," he says softly as he goes to pour coffee in a mug.

I have the sudden urge to throw the mug and coffee on his face but I don't. I just sit down at the table and I take in the different meals. I doubt I'll be able to eat. Not when my throat aches from trying to hold back my sobs throughout the night while he slept peacefully.

"I ordered everything I could so we could have different options. What would you like?" He smiled as he spoke but when I didn't answer, he continued. "You should try something. We have a long day planned. The yacht, the visit to the museum, and dinner at that restaurant you've been singing about since before the wedding."

"Stop." I hit the table, making everything on it shake. "Just...just stop pretending like we're a happy couple."

The smile falls from his face as he kneels before me. The food on the table was forgotten. "We could still be, Zee. Nothing has to change. I meant what I said last night. She means nothing."

"She's your legal wife," I said in a tone that said he was stupid for saying that.

"My father was in a bad place. He signed contracts he couldn't get out of without risking everything he had worked so hard for. I was just twenty-two. Her family had some kind of leverage and my dad forced me."

"You could have just told me before we went ahead to do all this." I threw my hands up in the air.

"I know. I know. Trust me I wanted to do that many times but I didn't..."

"You wanted to tie me to you and make sure I didn't leave you," my voice was calm but the tension continued to grow between us.

So many emotions crossed his face. Guilt and shame being one of them as he bowed his head and whispered. "You're the best thing that happened to me and I didn't want to lose you."

"Well. You already did and..."

His body stiffened like he's preparing for the blow I'm going to deliver with my words and I make sure I deliver.

"I don't know who I married anymore but you're the worst mistake I've ever made." I watch as he grows a few years older before my eyes.

"You don't mean that, Zee. I know you're angry but..."

"I'm pregnant," I blurt out and he freezes.

The truth would make him hold on harder and deeper to me. It'll be good for what I have planned out. I want to give him hope only to crush it later. Only then will he feel what I felt.

"Pregnant?" Shock fills his eyes and then joy. "Are you serious?"

"Yes."

"This is great news, baby. This child will be the bridge we need. I'll fight even harder for us to have a stable and peaceful home." He holds my shoulders and rain kisses on my face.

I use my hands and push at his chest. "You don't have to do that cause I won't be for long. I'll take care of it."

All the blood drains from his face as he looks at me in horror.

"No," he screams. "Don't say that, Zara. Please, you can't do it. We'll work it out. I promise." He tries to hold me but I push him away.

"Don't touch me. I have already made my decision."

He just looks at me helplessly as I get up and leave to get ready for the day. I would still have my fun.

I was right. I didn't even taste anything on the table.

******

There's even more pretending as we go through the activities he has planned for the day. He's more mindful, attentive, and touchy. He's probably wishing I'll change my mind. Good luck. The yacht trip passes in a blur. Every time a stranger compliments how good we look together, I have to force a smile while he gives me a look that says 'everyone can see it' as he holds my waist.

I wait until he's distracted in a conversation with the captain and make my way to the lower deck with his phone. I schedule an appointment with a clinic in my name and delete the record. It's a trace I'll want him to find later.

When I make my way back, his eyes follow me till I sit but he doesn't ask anything.

I fake a headache and lock myself in the bathroom once we get back to our suite. I sit on the floor and lean back against the wall as the weight of everything comes crashing down on me.

I'm not going to kill my baby but he will think I have. And if he believes that, he won't go looking for us.

I hear him through the door as he walks around the room while on the phone with someone but I don't care to listen but I still grab a few words. His voice sounds soft and broken like a wounded animal, and for a brief moment, I wonder if I'm doing too much and dealing with it in the wrong way.

"I'm not sure she'll ever forgive me. No, I can't. At least not yet."

He should keep thinking time is on his side and he's the one playing me. But I'm about to play the biggest game in his history.

I close my eyes going through everything in my head. My real visit to the clinic but a fake procedure, the anonymous message from someone I received offering help if I ever needed it. I'm not one to trust a stranger but I'll take any way I can out.

By morning, I'll start doing everything I have planned out. The baby would supposedly be 'taken care of' by tomorrow and by the end of the week, Zara Winterborn will be dead. And gone.

Adrian Leighton will spend the rest of his life regretting what he did and what he could have had. Us.

(Zara's POV)

Nobody likes the smell or atmosphere of clinics and I'm no exception. The disinfectant is so strong and the air is so tense and always ready to deliver bad news. One would think some good things don't happen there. Like the birth of a child.

Not in my case though. I'm here to make sure my husband believes I took out our baby. That's why I showed up early at the clinic. You never know who he might know so the lesser chance of bumping into someone.

I've already fulfilled all the requirements; my name is on the appointment list, I have already filled out the basic information, and the nurse has been strictly told to say I've been seen, treated, and discharged in case Adrian calls. I know he is capable of finding out where I amand what I'm doing.

My baby is in good shape, safe, and alive. No one is going to touch them. So there will be no treating.

Seems he finally noticed my absence because he has been blowing up my phone with calls and messages.

Adrian: Where are you, Zee?

Adrian: Please, pick up your phone. I'm worried.

Adrian: This is not the way to fix things. Don't do something you'll regret.

Regret? The only regret I have is marrying him. I don't reply and just put my phone on silent.

As soon as I do that, the nurse calls my name and I follow her into the room to see the doctor. She checks my vitals, does the ultrasound which gives me much relief that my baby is okay.

She fills out my file and I slide over a brown envelope containing money to ensure she keeps my secret. In return, she gives me a folder that has my false results.

"The folder equally contains post-treatment instructions for you. Things you should and should not do for a while." she lowers her voice to a whisper before she continues. "It would also require that you act weak for some days so it looks real. And please, no sex. Don't fail to remember that you're supposed to be healing."

I nod and thank her for her help. I gradually walk outside and step into the sunny and hot weather. There's a black car sitting on the street and for a second, I think it's my secret helper. But no.

Adrian is pacing by the car. He stops when he notices me approaching. His jaw is clenched so hard like he's stopping himself from saying something. His hands are shaking but he buries them in his pockets.

We just continue to glare at each other until he snaps.

"Get in the car." No softness in his tone as he turns and walks to his side.

I enter the car and once we close the doors, the tension and silence weigh heavily than before.

He is holding the steering she so tightly that I fear it will break. His knuckles are white, his eyes seem unfocused and he is driving so fast. Is he trying to kill us?

"Adrian slow down. Are you trying to get us killed?"

"I'm not like you. But what if I was? You already took away something precious from us," his voice sounded broken.

"Stop the car. Now."

He does and it almost sends me flying through the windshield. I grip my chest in horror.

"Are you out of your mind?"

"Yes, I am out of my mind," he shouts, and I squeeze my back to the door.

I have never witnessed him behave so out of line.

"Why, Zara? Why did you do it?" he repeatedly slaps the steering wheel.

"It is what needed to be done. It was the right thing." My voice was so calm.

"How can you be so calm right now? You didn't even make me understand that you already booked an appointment to kill our baby. Why didn't you tell me?"

I laughed but it sounded so fake and humourless. "What exactly would you have done if I told you? Wait, let me guess," I acted like I was deep in thought. "Oh, I know. You would have bought me flowers or an expensive gift to try and convince me to keep the baby. No, Adrian. I don't want to a reason to be connected to you for the rest of my life. I don't want any more of your lies."

The words sound unfamiliar to my ears as I say them. Because once upon a time, that was my lifelong dream. Not anymore.

"I married you because I love you and that baby was proof of our love for each other."

"Your real wife can still give you a baby if you desperately want one."

"She's not my..." he stops mid-sentence and runs a hand down his face. "I haven't touched her since we got married. She's just that on paper. She's nothing but an arrangement and I won't let her carry my child."

"Am I supposed to feel better based on what you just said?" I ask as I raise my brows.

"I'll dissolve the marriage. I'll make it right again. For us." His eyes are bloodshot and desperate.

My heart skips. "You can't fix what's already dead."

"Zara..."

"Just drive, Adrian. I need to rest," I say, holding on to my stomach and closing my eyes like I'm in pain.

That shuts him up as he resumes driving. Once at the hotel, he quickly gets out to help me out of the car. I don't argue when he holds me and leads me to our room. I'm taking this acting so seriously.

When we get to the room, he helps me lie on the bed. "You should rest."

He keeps his phone on the side table and then takes a seat at the foot of the bed, his head supported in his hands. His phone rings but he doesn't pick it up.

"Who is it? Aren't you going to answer it? Could be important." My voice holds no emotion.

"Probably a wrong number," he says quickly picking up the phone.

"How do you know that. It could be your wife calling to ask when you'll be back. You should answer it." I sound bored.

He freezes for a second before leaving the room to take the call.

"Liar," I whisper to myself after he leaves.

I take out my phone and reread the message from my anonymous sender.

Unknown: If you ever need an escape, reach out to me. No cost or strings attached.

Who could it be? Did they already know about the 'wife'? It came before the honeymoon so they should know. But the real question is how did they find me and why do they want to help me? I just hope I'm not jumping into even deeper problems. Hope I'm not about to traffic myself. I'll worry about that after I'm gone.

I can only hope I'll not be in too deep. Finally making a decision, I type my response with shaky fingers.

"I'm ready to disappear"

The answer comes almost immediately.

Unknown: Follow the instructions I'll send. Nobody should know.

I lock my phone and lie back. I close my eyes and slow down my breathing just as Adrian returns and settles beside me. His fingers caressing my face.

"I'm sorry, my love. Deeply sorry for everything," he says as he kisses my forehead.

My heart skips and my chest tightens. I want to be convinced. But I can't back out now.

'I'm sorry too, Adrian.' I whisper in my mind.