Break Me Heal Me

Raven's POV

I woke up with a muffled scream, I looked around my room to discover that the candle I took from the pantry had burned out. I was sweating profusely.

I just woke up from a nightmare which looked like reality. The same dream had been plaguing my dream for long.

My name is Raven. I am seventeen years old. I belong to the Attic Moon pack, I don't have parents. Yes, I was raised by the kitchen hands in my pack Alpha's house. I am without an original origin. No one knows where I come from, not one wolf. Everybody tried their best to avoid me, they say I bring bad luck everywhere I go.

According to what I heard in the kitchen sometimes when Sonia the meanest of all the kitchen girls decided to mock me, I was found one morning at the door step of the pack's Gamma. Abandoned there by someone nobody knew. The Gamma had brought me to the Alpha and they had tried to use my skin color and scent to trace my pack but it was never discovered. The Alpha at that point decided to take me into the pack since I couldn't possibly be left out in the cold to die.

I was named Raven because of the raven feather that was found in the blanket that I was wrapped with.

The first kitchen hand I was handed over to died when I was five years old. She had just given birth when I was found and she was asked to nurse me along with her pup. The little I remember of her, she was nice to me,as nice as she could be to a child that she was forced to nurse.

The day she died, the Alpha had asked her to take me to the market to get me some clothes as I was practically walking around in rags. There was a rogue attack that was unexpected. The rogues had tried to take me but she tried stopping them so they killed her so they could take me.

The pack warriors arrived just when one of the rogues tore into her neck. The rogues were killed instantly, none of them was spared.

I was then moved into the care of another kitchen hand who also died while trying to protect me from rogues. I was nine years old at the time and for the stubborn pup that I was, I decided to take an excursion into the other part of the bush where we servants went to pick fruits.

I was gone for long before the others noticed that I wasn't there. They started searching for me and when they finally found me I was cornered by a lone rogue.

My guardian rushed forward to get me out of harm's way but her movement angered the rogue and he lurched at her instead. He dug his teeth into her throat and pulled out her oesophagus.

I screamed with the scene unfolding in front of me. It happened so fast that none of the other male wolves saw it coming. They instantly attacked the wolf and killed him. As I was being dragged away from the scene I took one more look at my guardian, her lifeless eyes seemed to be staring accusingly at me.

I closed my eyes as one of the male wolves dragged me out of the bush. I cried all night. The next morning I was summoned by the Alpha. I was shaking like a leaf in the wind.

I had never faced the Alpha before. I even rarely saw him and his Luna. I wondered what would make the Alpha summon me. I painted a lot of scenes in my mind, scenes that my young mind could come up with.

I shivered more when I thought of the possibility of the Alpha asking the warriors to kill me. By the time I got to the presence of the Alpha, I was a shivering mess. I knew I didn't look like anything that should be brought to the presence of an Alpha.

My eyes were swollen from too much crying. My clothes were dirty and sticky. I stood before the Alpha, shivering and expecting the worst. I dare not look up. Even though we didn't see the Alpha often, we were told to never look up at him until he asked us to.

The Attic Moon Alpha was one of the most powerful Alphas in the West and a lot of things were said about how ruthless he was. They even whispered in the kitchen sometimes that disobedient pups were brought to him by their parents and as punishment the Alpha turned to his wolf and ate them up.

You could imagine my fear as a very young child standing in front of every person's nightmare. The Alpha of Attic Moon was said to have little or no control over his wolf except if his Luna was there.

'Look up child,' I heard the Alpha's command and looked up with quivering lips. 'I heard your guardian died again?

I could not answer the question as I was too afraid to say anything. I doubted my voice would even work if I tried to speak.

'You call this thing child, she is evil, she should be whipped to death.' I didn't look up as the Luna sitting by the Alpha's side said.

'She is just a pup Laura, you can't pass such judgement..,' The Alpha explains.

'Shall we wait till she kills another guardian before we get rid of her. Why are you being lenient with her?' A child no one knows exactly where she came from. She might as well be a bad omen,' The Luna said, sounding more angry with every word.

'Calm down Laura, don't get yourself worked up over this.'

' There is no way I would not get worked up. One of my best hands in the kitchen just got killed because of her, this smelly thing.'

'Look here pup, since it seems the pack can't afford to assign you a guardian again, you have to learn to start taking care of yourself. You would be giving a hut on the servants' land. There you will be. Take her away,' The Alpha said ignoring his Luna's protest.

One of the pack warriors took me by the hand and dragged me out of the Alpha's presence. As I was being dragged out of the room, I could hear the Luna insisting on not supporting the Alpha's decision to keep me in the pack.

And that was how I got my very first enemy . Yes my Luna became my enemy, she speared no time in showing me how much she hated me. Pack members will pick on me even in her presence but she wouldn't stop them.

I knew I could not spend my morning thinking about my woes. I stood up trying to shake my dream off and get to the pack's house for my morning chores before the Luna got down from her room.

I took my dress which was worn and put it on. As I half walked, half ran to the pack's house, the dream kept pushing into

Raven's POV

'You are still here?' My best and only friend, April asked as she walked into one of the soldiers' quarters where I was assigned to clean.

'I woke up tired this morning and I don't know why I am quite so sluggish,' I replied sighing tiredly 'Are you through with your work?'

'Yes, I am through. Let me help you so you can finish on time,' she took hold of the duster and started helping me dust.

'Thank you April,' I said hugging her.

'You don't have to thank me. You have helped me too on several occasions,' she said returning my hug.

We worked in perfect silence. April hummed softly to herself. She did that each time she was working.

April and her mum were the only two people in the pack who saw me as normal. Their hut was directly opposite mine when I was assigned a hut after my last guardian died. Her mother did not verbally adopted me. She had found me outside my assigned hut crying at night and took me into theirs and fed me.

April and I had become friends almost immediately. The fact that she was around my age helped. She was a year older than I was. Which meant she could find her mate anytime soon.

I will be eighteen in three days. I wish I too could celebrate like every other adult wolf. For April's birthday, her mother and I had sung for her and her mother had brought home roasted chicken that she was able to get from the kitchen after pleading endlessly with the head of the Omega. We had eaten the leftover chicken and laughed about everything. But for my birthday I guess I had to settle for being wished a happy birthday by April and her mother.

April and her mother were Omegas like me so there was little or nothing they could do for me. We helped each other when it was necessary.

One day I had asked about April's father in my childish way. Her mother had simply explained that he was not her mate but they had fallen in love and had April, then one day he had met his mate from another pack and left. So she had to raise April alone.

I envy April most times because she was so lucky to have a mother who was so dedicated to her. April too was a child any mother would be proud of. She was very popular among the Omegas but she still didn't allow it to get into her head. Many times they had told her to stay away from me but she kept telling them to let me be.

'Are you looking forward to your eighteenth birthday? 'April asked suddenly as if she read my mind.

' There is nothing special about my birthday, April.'

'What do you mean by that Raven?' April folded her arms under her bosom looking at me intensely with a raised brow.

Her look at that moment made her look like a queen. She had this beautiful aura that lured people in no matter how indifferent the person tried to seem.

' I don't even know who I am. If I meet my mate how do I introduce myself? Who will I say I am?' I said dejectedly.

' Who am I to you, Raven?' April asked still with the same regal tone.

'You are my friend,' I answered unsure of what she wanted to hear.

'Wrong answer. You are my sister and mum is your mother and that is who you are. Our father fell in love with our mother who was not her mate and they had us and he met his mate eventually and left,' she said vehemently.

' Would that not be lying?' I asked innocently.

She looked thoughtful for some time then she said 'Your mate would not mind or care about who you are. All he would want is you and only you.'

'And you know this because ...'

'Because we hear it all the time from those who have found their mates.'

We both laughed. Suddenly the door to the room opened and we both stood rooted at the spot we were, with our eyes bulging in surprise. We couldn't look at the door; we were too scared.

'Since you girls were just going to stay here all day, you should have just informed me,' April's mum said from the door.

'Mum?' We both said at the same time sighing with relief.

' Yes. Who else were you expecting?'

' We thought it was one of the soldiers using these quarters. How did you know where we were?' April asked.

I must know where you both are at all times. Just so I will make sure you don't get into trouble. Now you girls should round up and meet me in the Omegas meeting room. The head of the Omega will be there in ten minutes,' she explained, closed the door, and left.

Yes, I called April's mum, mum. She asked me to. It was our little secret. No one else was to know. I called her mum each time we were alone but when there were others around I called her by her name, Bella.

April and I quickly finished up what was left of the room and quickly headed to the Omegas' meeting room. The head of the Omegas, Maggot hated late coming to any of her summons. The consequences of coming late most times depend on Maggot's mood.

We got to the hall just in time before Maggot entered. I saw April's mum sigh in relief that we were there on time.

'Good morning all,' she greeted with a voice that sounded more masculine than feminine. Maggot was a woman with a very large body. Nothing on her was small. Pups and a few adult wolves joke behind her that she had finished all the food in the kitchen hence her big stature but nobody dared say it in her presence.

'Good morning, Maggot,' we all chorused.

She looked around as if trying to see if anyone was missing. She seemed satisfied and continued.

'As we all know that the annual will be coming up in two weeks, we have to be up and doing. The duty roster for the days leading up to the ball and the day of the ball have been pasted. I want everyone to check it to be sure of where and in what capacity you will be working. That would be all for today.'

We chorused a thank you to her as we all scampered to check the list. Five minutes into checking the list, my tiredness changed into unhappiness and anger.

My name was in three groups. I was to help clean the pack's house and surrounding quarters in preparation for the ball. I was to serve food and drinks at the ball and I was to help do the cleaning after the ball.

Everyone else belonged to just one group. The previous year I was in two groups. Maggot had said it was Luna's instruction.

I had always been in the group that served food ever since I could hold a plate. So also was April's mum but all that changed three years ago when Luna complained that I didn't do enough.

April and her mum noticed my mood and came to ask me. I explained to them and Bella sighed unhappily.

'It is ok Raven. Whatever work is given to you will be taken care of by all of us, I promise.'

I could only nod. I left the place in the comfort of my adopted family's embrace. I knew that whatever happened, they would always be there for me.

Raven's POV

I woke up the following day in a better mood. I wasn't going to allow the Luna and Maggot to dampen my morale that week. If I could not get a deserving birthday celebration, I could at least be allowed to be happy before and on my day.

I would be eighteen in two days and finally get to meet my wolf. No matter how weak or small it was going to be, I was ready to accept it. My wolf will be an addition to what I could call mine. I already had Bella and April, but with my wolf joining the train, I was going to be very happy.

I walked into the Omegas' meeting room to wait for those I would be cleaning with. I wasn't happy with the heavy burden placed on me but I had no option. If I refused to work then I might face more dire consequences.

'What is this curse doing here?' Lina one of the Omega girls asked once she entered the meeting room.

'Who knows? Maybe she is here to make her curse pour on the ground like rain,' another girl said.

'I just hope she is not in the group,' Lina said again.

I just bowed my head refusing to look up at them. I was used to their bullying. Sometimes they hit me as well. April or Bella wasn't there to defend me so I had to stay out of their way. Bella was in the group to serve food and drinks during the ball while April was in the final clean-up group.

There was a time that I would have responded and fought if need be. But since the day I fought one of the girls and I was reported to the Luna, I had stopped letting them provoke me since then. That day the Luna refused to hear my side of the story and asked one of the soldiers to flog me. I was given twenty strokes of a horsewhip.

I almost couldn't walk the following day. Bella had tended my wounds with tears in her eyes while April sobbed quietly. April would not stop asking me why I fought the girl in the first place. A question I couldn't answer myself. I could have just walked away.

To avoid a recurrence of that day, I avoided them and took their bullying without complaint. I knew the Luna wanted to kill me but she couldn't due to the Alpha's insistence on sparing me.

'What are you doing here?' The head of the cleaning team asked. I was startled because I was lost in thought.

I quickly stood up and apologized. 'I am sorry ma'am I was waiting for instructions,' I nearly stammered.

'You were put on the cleaning team this year? Why?'

'I am also on the hospitality list and also the cleaning up team.'

She was silent for a while. I looked at her to see that she was deep in thought. She was one of the few people who paid me no mind. She neither showed me love nor hate.

'How old are you?' She asked quietly as if trying to avoid being heard.

'I will be eighteen in two days ma'am,' I answered quietly too.

She came closer to me and held me by the shoulder. 'A major event is about to take place in your life. The journey will be tough and rough but when the storm starts be more weary of the enemy within than the one outside,' she said in a voice so low that only I could hear and understand her clearly.

She left me thereafter and divided us into smaller units to get the work done. I was the only one in my unit. I guess the head cleaner was trying to save me from being bullied by the other girls.

I diligently did my work and when I was through, it was inspected by the head cleaner. She was pleased with my work and she asked me to go and report the next morning without coming late.

April and I had agreed to go to the stream when we were through with our work to have a thorough bath. We only cleaned necessary parts in the morning before going for our duty so we made it a point to go to the stream to bathe once a week.

Bella, April's mum insisted on following us so we had to wait for her to finish up in the kitchen before we could set out.

When we got to the stream, we took out our bar of soap that was handed to us once a month. There was no long hair to wash as all Omegas were expected to keep their hair cut low both young and old. Even Maggot's hair was cut low.

When we were through with our bath, we sat relaxing by the stream when I remembered the head cleaners talking about the enemy within so I decided to ask Bella about it.

'Mum'

'Yes?' She answered giving me her perfect attention immediately. I wonder most times how she was able to love me as much as she loved her biological daughter.

'What is the meaning of the enemy within?'

'It can mean a lot. Why are you asking?'

'The head cleaner today told me that a storm was coming and that I should be more wary of the enemy within.'

'The head cleaner?' April asked. She was previously not paying much attention but when I started talking about the head cleaner she paid attention.

'Yes,' I answered her.

Bella took a deep breath. 'I have heard rumors around the pack that the head cleaner has the gift of vision.'

'Really' I asked looking surprised. 'I thought an Omega was not supposed to amount to anything.'

'That is a very bad way of viewing your present condition, Raven. Irrespective of the condition one is in, one must be optimistic,' Bella reprimanded me.

'I am sorry Mum. I just feel very hopeless sometimes.'

'You don't have to feel hopeless. Truthfully our present condition is hopeless yet we must not give up.'

I nodded and apologized for my words again.

'Now to what the head cleaner told you. You must not forget when you begin to face the storm. Do not trust anyone. The enemy within is the person close to you like your friend who in the actual sense is an enemy.'

'Close friends?' I asked.

'Yes. They are the ones who know your strong points and your weak points. They are the ones that can easily sell you to the external enemy. All the head cleaner is trying to tell you is that, you should trust no one when the time comes.'

' Thanks, Mum,' I said smiling happily at her.

We decided to head back to the pack's house in case we were needed there since the preparations for the upcoming ball was all everyone could think of.

As we arrived at the pack's house, we caught sight of Luna Laura talking to Maggot about something. She was gesticulating angrily. Bella immediately changed our destination.

We dodged the Luna and Maggot because the Luna would have something to say about us walking around aimlessly. I am not proud to say that my Luna was mean and arrogant. The thought of what the head cleaner said crossed my mind. Since Luna Laura had always been my enemy, could she be the enemy within?