Bittersweet (English)

It was a heavy rain outside at an unusual month, May. The time is about 6.30 pm in the evening. The always busy road was unusually empty on that time but the noisy sound of pattering rain and the occasional sound of the thunderstorm were nowhere be heard in that bustling kitchen.

"Chef, two more fried rice," the waiter loudly said that to the head chef who is giving the finishing touches to the Masala Dosa.

His eyes gazed around to find the perfect person to do this order and his gaze stuck on a girl.

"Sathya, you do the order," he told and that bought her back from her thoughts. Thoughts about something that could bring nothing except happiness.

She nodded her head weakly as yes and washing her hands she headed to her place. She placed the pan on the stove and raised it to a high flame. Putting all the ingredients at a time she started tossing it perfectly and soon the smell filled everyone's nostrils. It took just five minutes for her to prepare and serve it on the clean white plates and with some added special decorations she carried the plates to the chef who is standing before them and checking out today's bills.

He nodded his head looking at the plates and pressed the bell to serve. With the small satisfied smile dancing on her lips Sathya again went back to chop the vegetables.

Cooking, it might be a simple task for some people, but for Sathya that gives huge happiness. She always feels happy that her passion and profession happened to be the same thing.

Before getting into her thoughts her conscience patted her by giving a feeling of an eye on her she raised her head up. Her senior cook Karthik looked at her sideways but when Sathya saw him, he immediately shifted his gaze.

"Sathya, get that soya sauce bottle," Bhuvan asked and she went to the pantry room to get it, giving that to him, another few orders lined to her. Today due to this rain the customers were less or else they don't even have time to breathe.

SS spices, the famous Indian restaurant located in the modern part of Chennai where Sathya was working for the past one year.

It was her luck she landed on this job and that's what she thinks whenever she reminds about the time she was unemployed and hopeless.

After a long search, she finally found there is a vacancy in this hotel. She was not confident at all when she came for the interview, her Head cook and the owner of this restaurant Velayudham was the one who conducted the interview, it is a miracle where all her stars helped her to cook better than anyone else who participated on that day, when she was jobless she felt useless at each time she got rejected for reasons like using gender, her petite appearance and so on, she even regretted taking this profession but anyhow, somewhere her silent prayers were heard by the almighty and now she is earning a sum of money for herself and also to support her parents.

Sathya was a silent, gentle and more like a reality type. She speaks a little to everyone even to her parents she won't tell what she really wants to say. People from outside may tend to think she is a very depressing person as their first impression on her. But when they get close to her they can understand she is indeed a quiet in nature. Even she is too angry or even she is too happy only a small smile will be her expression.

Having no close friends, siblings or anyone who she can rely on to support she looked after herself with her minimum knowledge about the outside society.

Survival of the fittest will be an apt slogan for her life. Having no knowledge about Chennai she came here to study and stayed here even though she didn't get any proper job, and did part-time jobs to support her deceased father and pitiful mother. Being born and bought up in a lower-middle-class family even her small, small dreams were attained with much struggle. Grown in this kind of environment were one of the reasons why Sathya was an introvert, a gloomy person.

She has all that inferiority complex like she is too plain, poor, normal and has no special talent than cooking just made her feel low so that she tries to hide among the thousands of people who she considers that they are better than her.

But she decided her life should never be a sad melodrama and she doesn't want to open up her struggle to anyone, since either they will pity her or take advantage of her situation so she remained like she is all good and fine.

In her passive, boring and struggling life she never thought she will get married at this young age of twenty-four. She never had time to think about the opposite gender when she was too much striving to get proper food for every day. But how did this happened was something unbelievable for her.

"Is your husband coming here to pick you," Bhuvan asked when Sathya was washing their used pans.

"I don't know, I haven't checked my phone," she smiled and looked down.

"Anna, sorry I couldn't invite you for my wedding. I never thought it will happen all of a sudden," she apologized to him since Bhuvan was more like a brother figure to her, he is very supportive when she joined in here. He is married and has a two-year-old kid. Karthik also helpful but Sathya avoided him since he is not like Bhuvan; his perspective of seeing her is not like a sister or friend, she feels it is different but she is not sure whether he is having feelings for her, even if he does then she can't do anything about it right now.

"Morning I couldn't ask this, what is your husband doing?" He questioned.

"He is an engineer," she replied. Since last Friday only she got married and today Monday she is here for work, that's very unusual for everyone even to her.

The morning when she said that she is going for work, her husband didn't say anything and dropped her on the station. With no goodbyes, he just went to his work. Is that Unusual? She thought and came to the hotel.

"Where he is working?" He asked the most difficult question, she even prayed god that no one should ask this until she knows the answer.

"Uh... He is working in a company, I forgot the name," she gave an apologetic smile.

"Oh," he smiled.

When they were talking, Karthik came there, he changed into his normal costume and gazed the two of them.

"Bhuvan, I am leaving," Karthik said and they both turned to him.

"Hmm okay," he nodded and Sathya looked at him with a smile.

After he left Bhuvan went to change his apron and Sathya went out of the kitchen. Seeing the empty seats and dim lights made Sathya take out her watch from the pocket, the time showed as 10 pm, she wore the watch on her wrist and walked further out. The rain was still pouring but not that heavy, moderate drizzles.

She sat on the chair beside the class window were the drizzles decorated it beautifully, she touched it and with a smile, she looked out to see the Orange street lights and entirely soaked buildings. Bikes, cars were crossing with those illuminating headlights.

She just forgets everything and watched by thinking... Nothing.

Sometimes in our life, we don't know what we really want, but we are given something that was inappropriate, something not needed at that moment. But everything in this world happens for a reason like the given thing may be the key to something that we are searching breathlessly.

She sighed and her tummy starts to shout for food. She stood up and went to change her apron and after wearing her sweater she went to the restroom to wash her face.

Her reflection was normal, except that wedding chain on her neck.

She doesn't have any idea about the marriage stuff, she simply married to the guy her parents said. Even in her dreams she never thought that she will lose her virginity to that guy who she barely knows at their wedding night itself. It is not done by compulsion, he asked permission and she wholeheartedly gave to him.

She doesn't regret it but the thing that bothers her is she not even know his name properly, just as Raghu.

She got married to him last Friday, that was the first time she saw him, everything happened very quickly and the entire Saturday they stayed in his house in Ooty, where his relatives occupied most of their time and Sunday they booked a train to come to Chennai. After they came to his apartment in the night, he went to sleep and she slept beside him like a snail...

When she was thinking about this her phone starts to ring, Mozart's piano music was her ringtone. She took it and saw his number since she hasn't named it.

Gulping she attend the call. Sathya usually leaves the hotel at 10.30pm since the hostel she stayed was very much near from here, just a few minutes walkable distance.

But now it took about more than half an hour to reach his house, she didn't have thought about this perhaps he may scold her for staying very late at work.

"Hello, It's me," His hoarse manly voice just reminded the passionate night they shared, she can still feel his grunts near her ears which is so alien to her.

"Uh... Now only I am leaving, you don't worry I will be there soon," she said little worried.

"It's fine, I am waiting outside your hotel, come soon," he surprised her.

"Really!" She spoke her thought and then she bites her lower lip knowing her silliness.

"Yeah, come soon I have to go." This time he told that in an irritating way.

"Okay," she took her bag and walked in a hurry. Before leaving she said her goodbyes to the old security guard who is sleeping on one of the tables.

She came out to find her husband all dressed up in a peach color shirt and a pair of black pant. he was the same as how he went in the morning, but his hair was a little messy. The peach color shirt really complementing to his dark skin tone.

But half of his face was covered by that helmet. To actually say Sathya haven't examined him properly, even while traveling back to Chennai they don't have seats nearby so she couldn't talk with him at all.

But whatever it is why he is not asking anything to me?

And why he married me and what is he? She asked and stood before looking him in an implausible way.

"Yeah, we are going home," Raghu was talking on the phone while walking to their house which is on the second floor of that building and Sathya was just following him gazing how taller he is than her. He must be around six feet and she is just five feet four inches.

Why there isn't any significant match that I see in other couples?

From where my parents got this type of man, is that even possible for him to marry someone like me who is so petite, poor and unattractive! Don't he had any second thought before marrying me? Is he that desperate? She questioned and left out a sigh since he looked somewhat handsome and she heard that he is earning a lot.

Compared to her normal days today her legs were aching more and her tired filled eyes were half closed and with these questions daunting her crazy she walked gritting her teeth. She is so intimidated by his gestures, his cold tone, and his silence even after they shared the bed he is still quiet with her, like her. Or else whether he is the same as me, a silent person? She thought. But whatever it is, she is feeling so strange and lonely inside, even when she was single she never felt this nervousness. Going to stay in his house was very weird to her.

Raghu ended the call and was still walking upright briskly. It was his uncle (Dad's brother) who called him to check what the newlyweds were doing since he is the reason for their marriage to happen and he is little anxious about them being together.

Sathya's mom and Raghu's aunt were distant relatives. Using their poor economic status, his aunt with her sweet coated words made her parents accept for this marriage, and they without asking Sathya said yes to them. They just wanted their daughter to settle when they are still alive and knowing that Raghu was economically stable was an added bonus point.

Raghu didn't like this idea of getting married, but his uncle compelled him as he is already 31 and going to be 32 in just three months even though he looks younger than compared to his age and as an only blood relation his uncle wanted to do something for his elder brother's son.

His Uncle greatly pitied him since Raghu has been lonely with no one to take proper care of him. He is the only person who knew everything about him and what happened that made Raghu lose all his happiness at a young age where he totally forgot to smile.

Hoping that one day Raghu will be happy when he gets a family he arranged for this marriage. But he was the same as like before and didn't mind about the girl who is following his footsteps. For him, this marriage is just to shut those people who were asking when you are going to marry.

Following him in this sleepy state Sathya mistook a step and she immediately grabbed his shirt for balance when she was about to fall. Raghu paused and looked her raising his eyebrows.

"Sorry," she apologized taking her hand from his shirt.

He moved and gave the way so that she can walk before him, they reached their house. The corridor was empty and silent since on that floor they were only staying. She stood before the door while he unlocks it, that time she clearly saw he doesn't have his little finger. She first noticed this after their marriage. She wanted to ask how he lost it but she wavered about his reply.

They entered inside their dark yet comfy apartment. The fragrance of lavender room spray made Sathya take a long breath.

She hesitantly looked at him who turned on the lights of the living room, "Did you had your dinner?" she is not confident and it is evident in the way she spoke.

"Yeah I had," he replied without looking her and headed to the kitchen. Sathya just stood there feeling awkwardly sad. He came out with a water bottle in his hand. His tugged shirt was out now and few of his shirt buttons were open. He went into the bedroom and Sathya moved to the balcony. She won't sleep at this time and relaxing there for a few minutes she headed to the kitchen when the rain again started to pour.

The dirty dishes were smiling at her. She washed everything clean and looked on the cupboard to see the kitchen supplies.

Nothing than basic food ingredients. "What kind of life this man was living," she muttered under her breathe. If she were in his life she would have decorated this apartment beautifully and filled all these cupboards with every ingredient so that she can cook whatever she wanted at any time. But he, like every other bachelor lazy to cook, she concluded.

She then went to the bedroom, there he wasn't sleeping instead reading a book. She quickly took a glimpse to read the title internal combustion engine blah blah blah.

Seeing her Raghu turned on the AC, she searched and took her pajamas in her unpacked bags and went to the restroom to change it.

This time when she came out Raghu closed his book and laid on the bed turning off the lights. He looked somewhat oscillated. When Sathya laid beside him he turned to her side and she looked him. The darkness hided their barriers, she couldn't see his face properly but she can feel he needs something now.

Slowly he pulled her close to him, so that their lips were inches away. Now her heart raced and she understood what he is going to do now. When the first time they made love he gently took her control, though she felt painful but at the same time it felt so sweet. The way he hugged and kissed was loved by her loneliness. So this time she eventually hugged him back. His stiffed muscles were agitated by her touch.

He kissed her lips and at once started to remove her shirt. Subduing her under him he pulled her pants down in a hurry. Waiting for no single moment he undressed himself and by putting a condom he stroked her hard.

She left out a small moan and he started moving reckless. He is biting her, kissing her and he doesn't know what he is doing. Her eyes welled in tears and she securely gripped his arms enduring this, the wave of pleasure just blown her out. After he reached his climax he collapsed on her panting heavily. Unable to bear his weight after few minutes she pushed him and turned to the other side to get her shirt that he thrown on the floor.

"Don't dress up," he told and hugged her from behind.

Spooning her strongly in his arms he closed his eyes. She can hear him breathing near her ear. She is not comfortable sleeping this way, but she couldn't disobey his command at this moment where she is too week to oppose him. Sathya turned to face him, he stared her, and now she can clearly see his features. Putting her hand around him she thought to ask this question that is bothering her.

"Uh...why did you marry me?" she questioned him in a very low tone and he was taken aback by her question. He doesn't know what to answer but something in him wants to speak honestly to her.

"Cause I had no other choice," he replied.

"What's your age?" she questioned cautiously.

"You don't know my age?" his voice was sharp and hard. She nodded as No.

"I am going to be 32," that almost gave heart attack to Sathya. He is nine years elder than me. What is this? A part of her heart felt she have been betrayed by her parents. How can they?

Seeing her silence Raghu's face turned little firm. "Why? Are you regretting?" his question gave another heart attack.

"No no," she nodded since his voice sounded in a little different way. And she so intimidated.

"Oh... Let's sleep I want to go earlier tomorrow," he closed his eyes wrapping his hand around her hip.

"Where you are working?" she again questioned so that she can answer properly to everyone when they ask what your husband is doing.

"Production engineer in BMM," saying that he laid flat not so caring about being naked.

Removing the used condom he wore his boxers. Sathya putting her pajamas back, crawled beside him like a snail.

She knows his office, it is located 10 minutes from her hotel. So he must be earning a lot than me, and I think he owns this house. Perhaps this is the reason why my parents accepted for this marriage.

This man, will he love me? She asked herself this question looking him, having no hope that he will do that she turned to other side.

Raghu looked her in sideways when Sathya was turning to the other side to put dress. He doesn't know why he couldn't control himself and each time he is feeling so wrong in doing this to this girl.

With this insatiable feeling they both tried really hard to put their heart in peace but it is not in the state to listen to them.

Sathya woke up from her sleep hearing the alarm sound from Raghu's mobile. She couldn't take it since he placed it on the other side and added to that he was hugging her tightly.

When did he hug me? She looked at him and

Should I have to wake him, she thought but thankfully the alarm turned off on its own but Sathya lost her sleep. Closing her eyes for a moment she felt her body was aching, and she is feeling very sore because of last night.

If he was compelled to marry me, then why he wants to do this to me. And in that, he doesn't want to have a child now. Maybe that one good thing he is doing for me! Since I am not ready to become a mother at this age when everyone was pursuing their dreams in this modern new world, burying all my dream of starting my own restaurant one day is like killing my self. For all these days I was working hard ignoring the people who look me differently, enduring the people who throw negativity and discourages on me. So no matter what I should never leave my job, Never! she thought and opened her eyes, she turned to see Raghu who is sleeping peacefully without any disturbances. Seeing his calm face she smiled without her knowledge.

Slowly taking her finger close to his face she touched his sharp and perfectly shaped nose. She quickly took as he knotted his eyebrows feeling her touch.

Never in her dreams, Sathya thought that she will end up with him like this.

When the first time she met Raghu, he just gave a small smile at her parents and when he saw her standing awkwardly beside her parents he kind of had a smirk but when Sathya looked his face, he turned to that emotionless mode.

When the first time she talks to him, there is a fear in her to talk with an unknown person who is going to be her everything in just a day. But to her surprise, he doesn't have anything to ask than knowing her name and where she is working? He isn't seemed to be smitten by her at all.

When the first time he touched her hand after marriage she felt goosebumps all over her body. She secretly likes this feeling that whenever he is near her. It feels so good compared to when she has no one around her.

But she is hell confused about him? Is he a good man? if he is not what I will do?

God Sathya just stop analyzing him, there is still a lot of time and days to understand him. This is not the time, she scolded herself for being so curious in knowing him.

She slowly took his hand from her, he easily let her free and Sathya went to finish her morning chores. Having a hot just relieved that stress on her body. She came out wrapping herself in her towel.

She took her clothes out and from that, she looked for a bright one to wear today, most of her dresses were dull colored cause she felt it was so comfortable being in black, grey and brown. But today, she doesn't know why she wanted to wear that yellow Kurti.

When she was about to remove her towel, she looked Raghu. Noticing his closed eyes she changed her dress. After changing she again gazed him, she was startled to see him staring at her.

He turned to the other side as nothing happened. Gritting her teeth out of embarrassment she came out of the bedroom.

Whether he is pretending to sleep? Why I am finding this so creepy! She thought.

The brightly gracing sun rays showed the different view of their living room, gazing around quickly she headed to the kitchen.

Preparing a hot coffee for both of them, Sathya came out to check whether he is up from the bed. Knowing he is in the bathroom, she left the coffee on the table.

This time her eyes caught on the picture that hangs on the wall of the living room. Raghu was smiling brightly holding a gold medal proudly. And next to it there was a small photo where he is receiving a medal from the former chief minister.

Is he an athlete? Great I have so many to things to know about him.

When she was looking at it, Raghu came out sipping the coffee.

Sathya looked him asking about this picture. "I am a gold medalist in 2006 commonwealth games in running," he cleared the doubt.

"Oh... super," she uttered in a surprise.

He smirked seeing her reply and walked to the balcony to have his coffee watching the outside world.

Sathya came back to the kitchen and started preparing breakfast. It was a very simple job for her and the work she enjoys the most while doing it. Using the simple ingredients she made Roti and onion Curry. The smell of that Curry gained the attention of Raghu who is buttoning his shirt.

His stomach made a sound, narrowing his eyes in a curious way, he felt something different today. He usually wakes up at 7 or 7.30 and getting ready like a robot he heads to his office. But today he feels there is a change in that.

After setting the table Sathya looked for her husband. When he came out she asked him to eat and went to arrange her clothes in the cupboard, actually, she felt nervous cause it is his first time going to taste her food. She didn't expect him to praise her but she felt it would be great if he did that.

He was calmly eating, Sathya couldn't control herself. "How is it?" She asked holding her clothes.

"What?" He asked in confusion.

"Food?"

"It's good," he replied taking a bite.

She felt somewhat satisfied and with a smile, she continued to arrange her clothes. After she is done she tied her shoulder length hair in a ponytail and came out carrying her bag.

She took a seat opposite to him and he stood up after eating. She ate the leftover Roti and drank a glass of water before getting up.

In the meantime Raghu got ready, tugging his shirt inside his pant. He brushed his wavy hair a few times and finally the perfume completed his manly look. He came out and by putting his shocks he gazed Sathya in the kitchen, she was washing their plates.

And when she came out he shifted his gaze. "What about lunch?" She questioned him.

"I will eat in my office cafeteria," he said.

"Oh... But if you want me to cook lunch I will do it," she looked him for his answer.

"It's okay that's your wish if you can cook, then prepare lunch for me in the morning itself," he said and shoved his hand into his pocket. And his reaction was like something he is going to say.

"Okay," she nodded.

"Today... I will drop you," He offered.

"No, I will go on the train," she first rejected the idea.

"I am also going in that way, why you are wasting money," he annoyed.

"Umm," she again nodded and mentally she was smiling since she can go without any rush.

Before leaving, Raghu looked her and Sathya gazed him like, 'What?'. Out of nowhere, he leaned forward to kiss her. She first moved a little but he pulled her shoulders close to him and kissed her feverishly. Not able to match up with his height she stood in her toes and kissed him as same as he does.

After that few minutes of passion, he left her and Sathya looking down walked before him, locking the door behind Raghu followed her. "Shall we go buy some groceries after work, we don't have much ingredients to cook," she said hesitantly when he was driving.

"Hmm,"

Looking at the vehicles and buildings that were passing Sathya felt something fluttering in her stomach. She tried to brush off those thoughts but whatever she does she is feeling the same and it all reached to an extreme when he smiled lightly before leaving her at the hotel.