Between Pride and Desire

Rachel

It's been a month since I left Seattle, practically on the run. I took advantage of the fact that Kael Graham, that fool, was on a trip to London. He used the excuse of acquiring a Formula One racing team, but the truth was he was madly in love with my naive sister and would come up with any excuse to be close to her, even if it meant mistreating poor Sarah.

Regardless, I wasn't interested in that. What matters is that I managed to take two million from that guy who thought he was clever but was a complete idiot. Now, I'm enjoying that money in Monaco, the perfect place to indulge in the finer things in life. However, despite the wonder of being in this small and luxurious country, it's also extremely expensive. My money won't last forever, something my father always warned me about, and I never listened. He used to say that when you take without replenishing, there's only one inevitable destination: the end.

And now, slowly, I'm experiencing that reality. It was only today, when checking my bank balance to admire my money, that I realized how it's dwindling. I was considering a trip to the Maldives with some friends over the weekend, but considering what's left in my account, it seems wiser to stay in Monaco. Maybe I can even find a man willing to support me. After all, the options are plentiful.

I've been in contact with various men, all interested in me. However, so far, I've only exchanged kisses with a few of them. I can't explain it, but something prevents me from progressing, from seeking something deeper or even engaging in casual sex, which I now consider acceptable since I no longer have virginity as a bargaining chip. It's like there's some kind of block in me. When things heat up, I retreat, which has damaged my relationships with these suitors.

I hope this doesn't happen again. How can I secure a wealthy husband, someone who can fulfill all my desires, when I can't even be intimate with someone? As I relax by the hotel pool after a lively night at an exclusive nightclub, where I meet up with my rich and famous friends, I observe the surroundings. It's so good to live the way I'm accustomed to, as I always have and missed so much.

However, I'm aware that money is quickly slipping away. Monaco is an expensive place, where only the wealthiest can afford to spend time. I urgently need to replenish my bank account. Otherwise, I'll end up living precariously again, as I did until recently. I see my friend Shirley approaching along the elegant poolside walkway. Shirley, who betrayed me before, revealed all my moves to Kael and collaborated in his foolish revenge. The real blame for everything that happened, however, lies with his mother, who got involved with a committed man.

Shirley and I had patched things up, and she told me about the circus Kael set up, and that there was no virginity auction app; it was created only to humiliate me and make me pay for something I truly have no fault in.

Kael Graham is a lunatic who doesn't realize how much his mother erred and wants to hold me accountable for something I did thinking only of the best for my family. Mary was involved with my father, and my mother was not doing well, going through complicated times in her marriage, all because her husband had a mistress. I just tried to separate my father from his lover, and Kael wants to blame me for something that happened before I was even born. This is complete nonsense!

"Finally found you, Rachel!" she said with annoyance. Shirley is a pretty girl, blonde with light eyes, and long curly hair. We are complete opposites, and she's not as attractive as me, always taking a back seat when we were together because men preferred me with my voluptuous body, full of curves and perfectly perky breasts. My attention-grabbing derrière was also something they made a point to compliment.

"I've been here for a while," I say, unconcerned with her visible irritation. "I hope it's something interesting, maybe a potentially wealthy husband, just waiting to meet me and put an exclusive Tiffany engagement ring on my ring finger."

I closed my eyes and leaned back into the comfortable chair, dismissing Shirley's presence. We had rekindled our friendship, but that didn't mean I forgot that she collaborated with Kael in his foolish plan. The worst part was her setting me up to go to Enrico's hotel and surrendering myself to him in a way I couldn't even remember. But some things happen for the best, and it was better that I didn't meet Kael when he had no real interest in me and only wanted to use me to satisfy his revenge fantasies.

I made a point to forget about this matter. After all, I didn't want to dwell on unpleasant things, especially when it came to Kael Graham and Enrico Bianchi, two men I simply detested.

"I ran into some friends from Seattle at the hotel restaurant while having breakfast and heard something I believe you don't know yet," she said, creating a cheap suspense.

"Just tell me what it is, Shirley," I request, not paying attention. "I need to decide whether we're meeting Jansen Brown or Orion Demetriou for dinner because I've been invited by both, and I'll take you with me for company. I'm tired of Jansen's dull conversation, and Orion is just an old bore."

Shirley seemed not to hear me, as she did not comment on my difficult decision. I noticed she took a seat next to mine, still creating that ridiculous suspense.

"Aren't you going to say anything?" I complained, opening my eyes and pushing my sporty sunglasses up onto my head. "I'm here in a complex dilemma, trying to sort out my life once and for all, and you're here with that funeral face. Just tell me what happened!"

"Our friends told me they found Sarah at a restaurant less than a week ago in Seattle," she said, looking a bit sad. Despite being surprised to learn that Sarah was back in Seattle, I didn't understand the reason for Shirley's sad expression. After all, where my sister was or wasn't had any impact on my life at the moment.

I was just steps away from finding my ideal husband, as suitors were not lacking, and the fact that they were in Monaco said a lot about the bank accounts of these men, which was a strong point in favor of all of them.

"Interesting," I said casually. "She must have lost her job at NessysCar to be in Seattle last week."

I didn't care.

"She was in a wheelchair, Rachel."

Enrico

I drove through the streets of Seattle, my thoughts revolving around recent events. Among the things that haunted me the most was Rachel's complete lack of concern for what happened to her sister. How could someone be so selfish as to not feel the desire to be by their twin's side when she needed it the most? This thought had been tormenting me every day since the accident that befell Sarah.

Although I left Sarah's house feeling somewhat reassured about the situation as a whole-after all, she seemed to be coping well with the drastic changes in her life-the fact that Graham's support was doing her good was evident and comforting. Although I still harbored a degree of mistrust towards this man, given everything that happened, I acknowledged that he was genuinely trying to make amends. If his presence was bringing happiness to Sarah, I would never interfere with that.

However, Rachel was a different story. She wasn't just a person of strong and decisive temperament; her character seemed to be completely absent. I concluded that the best course of action was to set aside the feelings she had stirred in me from the first moment I saw her. I no longer believed in any possibility of change in Rachel. In my eyes, she had proven to be cruel, and the most sensible decision was to distance any emotion I had for her.

At that moment, I arrived at the extremely luxurious nursing home where my father was staying. After greeting the receptionist, whom I already knew from previous visits, I was informed that my father was with his friends in the game room.

I took a deep breath, accepting in advance the theater of falsehood to which I was about to submit myself, and headed towards the room.

"My dear son!" My father exclaims, extremely excited to see me enter. "I was starting to think you had forgotten your old father here."

Joseph struggled to get up from his chair and came over to me, hugging me as if he were genuinely pleased to see his son. However, I knew him well enough to understand it was all just an act.

"Hello, everyone!" I greet my father's colleagues, as he finally releases me, all of them in their seventies. "I hope you're all doing well today."

I uttered these words with the sole intention of prolonging the conversation. Quickly, I sat in one of the empty chairs to hear the usual complaints about the health issues of the elderly. It was a topic that generated a lot of discussion, and this way, I didn't have to limit myself to talking only to my father or hearing something that would make me irritated or even sad.

However, my strategy didn't seem very effective this time. One by one, the attendees began to leave, citing random reasons, and soon I was alone with my father-a situation I avoided.

Although I felt the obligation to visit my father and cover his expenses, he always found a way to throw unpleasant comments about me. And even after all these years, I still allowed his words to affect me.

"Where's the girl you kissed at the end of that race?" He asks something I already expected to happen. "Didn't bring her with you, I assume she's already left you."

I sighed, struggling to keep my heartbeat under control, as it seemed erratic within my chest. Why I allowed this man to have so much power over me was something I couldn't understand.

"Sarah is an excellent girl, Dad" I prefer not to answer his question. "I'm sure you would like her."

"Like her?" He gets to the heart of the matter. "So, she has left you."

My father looks disappointed, as always when he tries to bring me down.

"We're just friends" I explained, trying to navigate the situation. "That kiss was just for the media."

"You're twenty-eight already, Enrico" Here comes another one of his sermons. "You should think about starting a family, not pleasing the media. Sometimes I wonder what your problem is, why you're not dating."

Dealing with someone who constantly points out what they consider flaws in you is very challenging, especially when that person is your father, but I tried not to let my annoyance show in the situation. If Joseph senses that I didn't like what he said, he won't bring up another topic from today onwards.

"I don't want a serious relationship right now, Dad. All I want is to win another championship and become a four-time champion," I try to steer the conversation towards something less tense.

"You've already proven you're good on the tracks, son," he says, surprising me. "I want to see you figure out your personal life now."

I could hardly believe the old man was throwing me a challenge because that's exactly what he had just done. And he knows how driven I am by the emotion of proving that I can do what I set my mind to.

"I don't want a girlfriend, and a wife is out of the question, Dad," I say, using a definitive tone. "So don't expect that from me."

"I wish I had more children; maybe one of them would have made me proud."

My father had just surpassed all the absurd things he had ever said to me throughout my life.

"I thought you were proud of me," I say, ironically.

Of course, I was lying. I never had such a thought, even though he repeated it to everyone in the nursing home, especially when any news about me came up on TV.

"I try to feel proud, but it's so hard when you only care about cars and not about people," he said, avoiding my gaze.

My father seemed sad, which didn't make much sense to me. However, I preferred not to prolong the visit any further. I stood up to leave as quickly as possible, as I had already heard enough absurdities for an afternoon.

"I need to go," I announced, about to escape from the weirdest visit I had ever made to my father. "I'm planning to return to London tomorrow, so I won't be able to stop by before the trip."

"I hope that the next time you come to visit, you will have reflected on what I said."

"Yes, of course," I agreed, opting for the easiest path.

This time, without his colleagues present, my father didn't even get up from the chair. He just waved to me, and I didn't feel like getting any closer. I simply waved back in farewell.

Sarah

Life as a wheelchair user is a challenging journey, but the support of the people around me is what motivates me every day to keep going, and not to give up on the goals I've set for myself, like walking again. My doctor assured me that the ability to walk depends primarily on my effort and dedication to follow the guidance of the professionals overseeing my recovery. And that's exactly what I've been doing, pushing myself to the maximum.

However, my emotional side often whispers to me about a painful absence: that of my twin sister, Rachel. She hasn't given any sign of life, hasn't tried to get in touch, not even once. The last conversation we had was right after the media reported the kiss between Enrico and me. She called, indignant about the situation, but after that, silence. No brief message, nothing.

On the other hand, my rational side tries to remind me not to dwell on these thoughts about Rachel. It insists that I forget she exists and focus on appreciating the people around me. Instead of lamenting the absence of someone who abandoned me without looking back, it's wiser to value those who stay and support me, especially considering that I, her twin, am now in a wheelchair.

I had been in Kael's mansion garden for just a few minutes, but these thoughts started to weigh me down. I longed to return inside, to the comfort of my room, where every moment with Kael was filled with happiness.

I looked around for Elvira, one of my nurses on duty at that moment. Usually, when I want to go to the garden, I ask someone for help since my electric wheelchair isn't suitable for unstable terrain. However, I realized at that moment that Elvira wasn't by my side, causing a certain unease.

She had disappeared without informing me, and my mind was so immersed in thoughts that I hadn't noticed her sudden departure. I tried to grab my phone to call someone who could help me get back inside, but I remembered I hadn't brought it with me. My anxiety increased, making me nervous and afraid. What if the nurse took too long? What if something had happened to her, leaving me forgotten in the garden? What if I urgently needed to use the bathroom? Would I have to deal with it alone?

The questions overwhelmed me to the point of feeling dizzy and nauseous, desperation taking hold of me. I looked in all directions, contemplating shouting so that someone could hear me and come to my aid. However, Mary wasn't at home; she had gone out to lunch with a friend, and Maira had been absent for two days, visiting her adoptive parents. Kael was at the company, and Ryan had traveled to London on behalf of his brother to handle important business.

I was alone with the nurses, which was quite common. I had always been resistant to making people stop living their lives to take care of me. That wouldn't be fair. And, to be fair, there were several people in the house, all probably willing to help me. The problem was how to reach out to one of them when I had asked the nurse to take me so far from the residence.

After a few minutes of anxiety, with Elvira still not appearing to help me, my mind started to conjure up catastrophic scenarios. Dizziness and nausea reached their peak, and I could no longer contain my breakfast. I trembled intensely, overcome by nervousness, and finally decided to face my fears. I decided to try using my wheelchair even on that unstable terrain. I pressed the button that should move it forward, but nothing happened, not even a millimeter of movement.

I pressed the button again, this time with more force, not anticipating the impulse the chair normally gave before starting to move. I was propelled forward with such force that I almost fell from the chair.

"Sarah!" I heard Kael's voice shout.

Despite the enormous and sudden scare, fortunately, I didn't fall from the chair as I had feared. At that moment, Kael appeared by my side, and I looked at him still quite shocked, nervous, and shaken. I could do nothing more than reach out my arms and ask for his embrace.

"What happened, my love?" He asked, also visibly concerned.

His arms surrounded me, and he carried me to one of the benches in the garden, with me still in his arms.

"Why were you alone here?"

I was not in a condition to answer the first or the second question. My head was buried in the curve of his neck, seeking comfort.

"It's okay; you can explain to me later what happened," he agreed, adopting a calmer tone.

Kael understood that I wasn't ready to talk, and so we remained, just holding each other. My erratic breath gradually normalized, as did the frenetic beats of my heart.

When he noticed that I was calmer and closer to my usual state, he began to speak again.

"I came to have lunch together today," he explained the reason for being at home, "I missed my wife..."

I felt his lips place a few kisses on my hair, but I remained in the same position, feeling comfortable and secure, in contrast to how I was minutes earlier.

"I know you were worried about me being alone at home, so you decided to come for lunch today," I said. "I won't complain about you doing that."

Although I didn't like or approve when Kael postponed important commitments just to avoid leaving me alone, even though there was an entire team of staff in the house, I couldn't deny that I appreciated his care.

"Can't I miss you?" he tried to joke. "After all, don't you miss me, Sarah?"

His attempt at lightness worked, and I smiled at his words.

"All right, maybe you're right because today I felt your absence," I confessed with a smile.

"Just today? That makes me very sad!"

I remember what happened a few minutes ago, and the smile on my face was instantly wiped away.

Even without looking at each other, Kael seems to sense this, confirming how much we have grown closer in recent days and the connection we share.

"What happened, Sarah?" He insisted again. "Why were you here alone?"

His insistence on knowing what happened doesn't irritate me. I am fully aware of my condition and understand that being something recent, I am still adapting and need the help of others. Therefore, I don't mind his curiosity.

I decide to leave my comfort position, looking at him as I recount all the details of the incident in the garden. As I explain how I ended up alone and vulnerable due to my awareness of my loneliness, I notice that Kael looks at me with a concerned expression. His sigh carries a touch of irritation.

"Elvira shouldn't have left you alone out here," he finally comments. "If she needed to be absent for whatever reason, she should have informed someone in the house. Especially when I've been here for some time, and she still hasn't returned."

Coincidentally, at that moment, Elvira appears. Her expression doesn't show any fear or embarrassment when she finds us sitting together on the garden bench.

"Why did you leave Sarah alone here?" Kael asks, his voice is laden with censure.

Only then does Elvira seem concerned, and her gaze becomes frightened, by the way Kael addresses her without even greeting her first.

"Kael!" I reprimanded him, embarrassed by his behavior.

Kael seems to understand what I'm complaining about and backtracks on his approach.

"I apologize for my bluntness, but I am quite bothered to have arrived here and found Sarah alone in this part of the property, where she still can't move without assistance," Kael explains, his tone still firm.

"The apology is mine, Mr. Graham," the nurse admits. "I thought there would be no problem in leaving Sarah alone for a while since she usually stays here reading and loses track of time. I didn't think she would miss me."

The way they were handling the situation didn't please me. I felt like they were talking about me as if I weren't present. Elvira's response worsened the situation since I am perfectly capable of noticing someone's absence.

I hadn't shared with Kael, but Elvira had done things in the past that displeased me, although I hadn't reprimanded her. However, I wouldn't accept people speaking for me, as is happening now.

"I don't understand why you thought you could leave and leave me alone here without even letting me know you were leaving. You spent all this time inside, and you still believe I wouldn't notice Elvira," I said, deciding to confront the situation on my own. "I won't take any action regarding what happened today, but I hope this won't happen again."

"It won't happen again, Sarah," she promises.

Despite the words, her expression showed a certain disdain, and I couldn't help but feel that the target was me. I didn't feel good about it.

The sound of applause draws our attention, and everyone turns to the noise. My heart races when I see who is standing a few meters away from us.

"At last, you stopped being a fool and are reacting, Sarah," unexpectedly, these words come from the mouth of my twin sister.