Always Romira

Romero, From the very first time I saw you, I knew you were either going to mend me or break me. Irony, now I am the one who is breaking us both. Do you know when I first saw you, I thought you were so out of my league but turn out you were my only league. I tried to stop myself from falling for you. But how could I not? You are my soulmate, my other half, the love of my life, my everything. I can write a book if I start to count the emotions and feelings you wake up in me.

I love you, I think I have always loved you even when I denied it and I will always love you. You taught me how to live, how to smile and how to laugh again. You are in my heart, in my blood, you have imprinted my soul. You became my family, my one and only. Everyday with you felt like a dream, a terrifyingly beautiful dream. I crave for you, your touch, and your attention. I never would have realised I could be this possessive about someone but I am. I want to crawl anyone's eye who stares you the way only I have right to. You are the most beautiful person I have ever known and you made me so deliriously happy. You made me feel alive again.

Because of all these devotion you have given me, I have to go. I can't stay and watch you kill yourself knowing I'm the reason at first place. You can't stop taking drugs, you proved it by taking that hit. But if my leaving could help you somehow I'd do it, even if it kills me.

I will always cherish our time together, all the memories we have made, and those silly arguments, your irrational jealousy, your possessiveness, your smile, our first date, that night under stars, those fireflies, your burnt toast, your kiss, your touch, I'm going miss everything baby.

I know you are furious with me for leaving you like that but I had to. I had no other option. We both know you would have never let me leave otherwise. I had a decision to make, it was either your life or mine, the choice was simple Rom. It's you, it would always be you. Your life means more to me than my own.

Just know that I will never stop loving you. You will always have my heart.

Please let me go.

I love you.

Always yours

Ray.

* * * * *

A/N : Important = This is the second book of Romira series, make sure to read book one ie, "Romira" before reading this one for better understanding.

Akira

*********

"Hey darling."

Romero.

I look over to the love of my life as he nears me, his beautiful blue-grey eyes searching my face so tenderly that I nearly melt. My knees weaken and turn into jelly ready to drop down.

I just stare, I couldn't speak or touch him, but I want to, so badly.

"You look beautiful." He says softly, stopping just few inches away.

"Romero." I breath in, willing myself to not cry, to hold it at bay but it is damn difficult.

"Ray." He smiles his dimple one, his eyes are showing all the love I crave, all the yearning I feel. He steps close and raises his hand to touch my face.

I close my eyes, waiting desperately for his touch, anticipating his feel but like always it never comes and when I open my eyes next, he's disappeared, like always.

He was just my imagination, not my reality.

My hallucination.

You left him, remember?

How, oh how could I forget, when my every breath reminds me of that. When anywhere I look I see him, so close yet untouchable. So real yet just my imagination.

Oh Romero, I miss you.

I am falling apart, I'm dying inside with every passing second away from him.

Why is this so painful?

I used to think love would be exciting and thrilling, but I never once stopped to wonder if it would be this painful to endure.

Even with all the agony, I couldn't wish to not have fallen in love, or to not have met him.

And how could I? When he is the best thing happened to me in so long.

I just wish it would hurt little less so I could at least breath easily. So I could at least think about him without breaking down.

I wish-

Squeaking of gate brings me away from my self pity. I inhale a steady breath and I approach it.

Cool air of February evening breezes past me, making me shiver. I wrap my coat tightly around me to stop the trembling, and I open the gate. Stepping inside I walk toward my destination. On reaching I fall down on my knees in front of the people I've come to visit. The last time I came here was six months ago when I was going to college for first time.

I pick up the flowers I brought with me and put it beside others on the cemetery of my family, I then put a single white rose on my brother's tomb. It's his birthday today. If he was alive he would be turning fifteen.

Here lies a beautiful soul, Jake Ray

02-02-2004 to 09-06-2010.

"Happy birthday little brother. Today you would have turned fifteen and would have become a bit more to handle. You would have started dating and I bet you were going to be a heartbreaker, leaving lines of broken hearts behind where ever you went." My throat starts to close up and I have to swallow.

"I-I miss you Jake, I miss you so much. I wish you hadn't left, I wish it were me who died instead of you so you would get a chance to experience life. Grandma says you are in much more better place, I hope she is right. I hope you are in heaven surrounded by angels, watching me, probably laughing at how ugly I look while crying. I love you, baby brother, so much."

Sniffing, I press a kiss on his cemetery and look over my mummy and daddy, "Hey guys. I know I haven't visited you in six months but you know how hectic college life could be. There hasn't been a day I don't miss you or feel the loss of your absence but I always assure myself with the fact you are watching over me, guiding me. At night I find myself staring at stars to find which one of them are you and during day I try to feel you in my broken heart where I know you all would always be with me."

Taking a shaking breath, I wipe my eyes with my cold hands, and whisper, "I met someone. He is so beautiful, he just takes my breath away. His name is Romero King but he prefers to be called King from everyone except me. I love him, mummy. He is not perfect but he is perfect for me. He loved me back, just as crazily. I was his Ray, his lifeline, his kryptonite, and I-I left him. I left because I was killing him, because I couldn't bear the guilt." A hiccup escapes.

"But I miss him, every second of the day. I keep imagining him everywhere. I want him, daddy, I need him so much, it physically hurts being away from him. He is the best man I've known after you. I think you would have approved of him, not only because he loved your princess but he is a good man.

"He doesn't believe it though, he thinks he's a bad guy but I know him, more than he thinks. And I know he is just as good as anyone else. He is my 'the one' and I let him go. I will do it again if given a second chance, because he would always come before me. I hope you support my decision and are proud of your Ira."

I touch their cold tomb, "I'm going back to college today, I don't want to but tomorrow is Sydney's birthday and she wants me there. I came to visit grandma for the weekend and instead of going tomorrow I'm leaving today so she is pretty angry with me, I think she is also angry because I left Romero. Do you know she was totally smitten by him and she even acted like a schoolgirl when he came with me last time. I tried to explain her as much I could without revealing his problem but you know Elizabeth Ray. She believes what she wants to."

I sigh, "Anyways I have to go now. And I promise to come back soon." I stand up, feeling lighter than before.

Talking to my family has always helped me from my problems. It gives me new strength to face the world with my chin lifted high because I'm daughter of Edmund and Mary Ray, who lived their life throughout their ups and downs. They enjoyed every moment life had given them, be it low or high and they taught me the same.

Logan finds me as soon I step out, looking concerned. "Are you feeling okay?" He mutters softly, wiping my face gently.

With some effort I manage to smile, "I'm fine."

He doesn't look relieved though, "Are you sure you want to go back today? You know your roommate is probably going to throw some party where he could come."

He means Romero.

"I'm sure. I have been successful in avoiding him for three months. And I think Syd is just going to celebrate at some club with her girlfriends."

It has been three months, well eighty six days to be precise, since I last him at hospital on my birthday. Avoiding him has not been any difficult considering he doesn't come to college regularly. And he hasn't made any attempt to call or reach out for me, I'm convince he is furious with me. After all I left nothing but a letter and my ring for him.

I don't have any idea how he is or what he is doing. I stopped associating with the group leaving Sydney and sometimes Grace. I wonder if he has already moved on.

As soon my mind goes there, I feel an immense amount of pain, it is as though my heart is getting sliced into million pieces.

I wouldn't be able to bear the pain if he had.

The thought of him kissing, touching and making love to someone else is worse than hell itself.

But I couldn't blame him if had. And if he had not yet, he would, sometime in future. With another girl, who would not increase the pace of his episodes, who would not be as broken as I am, who would be blessed with his breathtaking smile.

I could live with the pain as long as he is happy, even if its not with me.

Liar! My conscience snarls.

I don't pay it any mind and glance at Bella, who has been giving us time alone. That is one of the things I love about her, she never imposes. She always knows when to retreat and give us some time alone.

"Hey girl, you good right?" She smiles, a sympathetic smile.

I hate that smile. It is the only kind I'm getting these days.

I nod, still putting on my smile, "Yup. Tell your boyfriend to stop fussing so much."

Logan scowls, "I'm worried for you, baby girl. You have lost so much weight, and you are barely living as it is. I don't want you to turn back into the zombie you were two months ago."

Zombie, yeah that sounds adequate term to describe my condition when I came home for winter break. I couldn't go on few hours with crumpling down, grasping my heart because the the pain wouldn't be endurable.

I roll my eyes, "I am okay now. And that's called break up phase, I'm getting over it."

He arcs a brow, "Are you?"

No I'm not.

I don't think I could ever truly get over it or him.

But to ease his mind, I answer firmly, "Yes, I am."

You are not! The stupid voice rears back.

Go away.

Neither him nor Bella seems convinced, bloody hell, even I'm not fooled by it. They are going to have to satisfied by it and so do I.

Logan shrugs, "If you say so. But if that asshole does anything to hurt you, I will beat him to pulp, doesn't matter if he is wrong or not. No one hurts my baby girl and get away with it." He stops and takes a breath, he then changes into fierce brother mode.

Oh no, not again.

"Now I want to you to listen carefully, don't do any reckless thing on impulse, like dating another ass-"

Bella notices my irritation and interrupt smiling sweetly as she grits through her teeth, "Baby, Ira is big girl, she knows who or when to date. And she is far less reckless than you so quit your lecturing or you are going to sleep on couch tonight, you wouldn't want that, would you?" She finishes by bating her pretty lashes.

He eyes morphs into a dark glare and he snaps, "Oh fuck no! You can bet your sweet ass I'm sleeping on my bed and beside my girl. If you try to stop me, I have other ways to get there."

Bella blushes when he gives her lustful looks.

I quickly look away as the my heart clenches tightly. I miss my bickering with Romero on anything and nothing. I miss how he'd end most of our argument by some sensual remarks that would get me so embarrassed and I'd start stammering like a fool forgetting the origin of argument. I miss how he'd stare at me every morning as if I was most beautiful thing, when in reality I look nothing better than a mess.

I miss his possessiveness, jealousy, anger and most of all his love.

I miss being loved by him.

'You are the only love in my life.' He has once said. I'd give anything to hear it one more time from him.

Oh how I miss him, all of him.

So much that it's gripping me, drowning me into an unending sea of misery.

And I'm not sure how long I could keep fighting it, until I finally give into it.

I clear my throat breaking their 'eye-fucking' as Sydney would say. "Take care of grandma for me. She worries too much, it is not good for her."

Logan pecks my forehead, "Don't fret over it. You sure you don't want me to come with you?" He questions for tenth time.

"I'm sure." I give him same reply every time.

He nods and points toward the car I've rented to come here, "Now get going and call me once you have reached there."

I move over and slide inside, "Will do." I call back and start driving.

Let's experience whatever life has stored for me now.

* * * * *

Akira

*******

"So what do you think of it?" Sydney asks, showing me a gorgeous dress.

"Pretty." I absentmindedly respond.

Her eyes narrow at my nonchalant tone, "Really? I thought previous dress was more suitable."

I shrug, "Both look good to me. It's you who has to wear so you should decide which one you prefer most."

Throwing the dress to a nearby couch, she glares, "What the hell is going on with you? You are acting as though you are being sentenced. I'm turning twenty for gods sake, can't you at least show some enthusiasm? It's just a fucking party!"

Guilt strikes me hard. She is right, I'm being petty and ruining her birthday. "I'm sorry Syd. Of course I'm happy for you. It's just I don't want to go to any party. Not when there is some chances that-"

"King would be there." She finishes for me.

I nod. Yes, he could be there and I don't want to take any risk.

She huffs and pops down, "Then you don't have to worry about that because he won't be there."

I perk up, "Why?"

"Because for one, it's my birthday party, and two, I think King and Slade are not in good terms."

"What why?" I frown.

"I don't know but during holidays whenever my parents asked about King, Slade would avoid answering and if prompted he'd get angry. And also, King didn't come home this Christmas, not even when mom called him"

What could have happened between them?

I just hope it's not because of me. I can't take more guilt on me.

"Why do you think it is?"

"I don't know and don't fucking care. Slade was asshole to say all those things to you, he should be grateful I haven't disowned him."

"He was right though, if it weren't for me Rom wouldn't-"

She stops me, "Don't bother with that again. You shouldn't have left him at first place, at least not without discussing with King. All I know you are wrong here."

She doesn't understand.

"It was the only way. Romero would have never let me leave I know that much, he would have somewhat convinced me into staying. And I could never forgive myself if something happened to him because of me." Hell I couldn't even live with myself.

Syd rolls her eyes as if I'm talking nonsense, "Whatever."

Yeah, whatever.

I sigh and change the subject, "You are right the first dress was more beautiful."

She lightens up, "I know right. I just brought it last weekend for today specially, Lucas is so going to love it."

"Lucas?"

She looks uncomfortable, "Um.. yes actually, Lucas has asked me to be his girlfriend. I wanted to tell you before but you were...." She trails off.

"In my own world?" I suggest, hiding my grin. I'm enjoying watching her squirm and avoiding my gaze.

"Something like that and I didn't want to throw it on your face when you were so heartbroken." She mumbles.

Heartbroken, that I still am and probably would always be.

That doesn't give me right to spoil my friends happiness.

Though my will to smile disappears, I still manage to grin slyly, "So when and how did it happen?"

Syd takes a glance at my teasing expression and relaxes, "New years party. He kissed me and said he couldn't hide it anymore. He told me he was in love in me, that he always had. I took one look at his face and I knew he is the one. This time its filled with excitement and everything that was not with Luke. I love being his girlfriend."

She is glowing with happiness, her eyes are sparkling like Romero's did when he looked at me.

He used to stare me as if I was his whole world, as if he had stolen most precious thing and kept it in his possession.

My stomach churns, I have to force a smile, "That's good Sydney. I'm happy for you."

"Oh well, I'm happy for me too." She giggles.

"And what about Luke?"

She shrugs, "He is Luke, fine with almost everything. Lucas told me he had a talk with Luke, where Luke confessed everything and apologized to him. So we are okay, I guess. We don't talk as much we used to because Lucas is not totally over the fact Luke took me from him and gets jealous easily. I suspect Luke likes a girl from his class but doesn't have guts to go after her. He wouldn't accept it though. Fucking coward." She snorts in amusement.

Her phones rings, alerting her of something. She looks at it and smiles in triumph.

"C'mon babe, it's time!" She exclaims standing up.

"Time for what?" I question, confused and not sharing her sudden display of energy.

"Spa, of course. I told you about it yesterday. Grace and her other friend also coming- wait a second! You forgot, didn't you?" She accuses me pointing her finger.

I smile sheepishly, "Yes. No. Okay fine yes I forgot, I'm sorry."

"Get your ass up and get ready. We have appointment in thirty minutes." She orders, eying me closely.

I follow her command but not before rolling me eyes and muttering, "Yes grandma."

"I heard that." She calls from behind.

"You were supposed to." I counter back and chuckle at her growl.

• • •

I can hear the loud roar of music before I even enter the house. It's some isolated area where the party is being held. I don't see anyone else beside young people dressed up for this party.

A tug in my arm makes me glance beside to find Grace giving me looks of concern, "Don't be so nervous. Sydney said he won't be here."

I know what Sydney said but I'm still having a bad feeling about this party. Something is going to happen, I'm sure of that.

I smile at Grace. She is really nice, supporting me when I thought she'd be glad that I broke up with Romero, "Yeah you're right."

Smiling back she starts pulling me toward the entrance, "Then lets go and enjoy!"

Enjoy. As if.

Grand party and even grand crowd greets us the moment I step inside but that's not what freezes me.

It's the burning sensation of his presence that halts me, the same awareness I would feel whenever he was near, the same emotions starts their firework after being dead for so long.

Oh my God.

He is here, I can feel in my bones. I look around, though I can't see him but I know he here.

"Sydney is over there." Grace drags me and my body move without any restriction. I'm too stunned by the knowledge of his presence to force my brain to work stably.

Sydney's troubled face confirms my fear. I was right, he is really here.

Oh God, what I'm going to do now?

How am I going to face him?

"I'm so sorry, Ira. I swear I didn't have a slightest of idea that King would be here. Hell even Slade said it's most unlikely." She sounds so sincere that I couldn't help but nod, swallowing whatever words I was about spit out. It's her birthday, she should be happy, not worry about me and it's not like its her fault.

"Hey birthday girl, don't apologize, okay. It doesn't suit you and I was going to face him at some point anyway."

"King is here?" Grace asks, clearly surprised. She looks around and abruptly stops. Her lips form a 'O' as she stares as something behind me.

I know I shouldn't turn around and I know I'm probably going to regret it but I still do.

All the breath leaves me in a rush when I see his beautiful form just some distance away from me. Oh my, I've missed him. All the yearning and the ache comes back in one quick motion when my eyes connect with his. I can't read them and it hurts the most. He looks at me as though he doesn't know me. There is no change, not a single sign that could tell me he is as affected as I am. Just as quickly our eyes connected, it breaks off faster. He diverts his attention to a brunette beside him, ignoring me.

The dismissal slaps me hard on face.

Digesting the bitterness, I force myself to look away from him and immediately wish I didn't. The brunette is not alone. There is group of girls on the couch he is seated, they are flaunting themselves, trying to get his attention.

My inside clenches when I notice one girl puts her palm on his thighs and he doesn't push her away. My vision goes blur at the sight, and all I see is red, every violent streak stirs up, pushing me to go there and remove that bitch away from my man.

But he is not your man, is he?

My throat tightens painfully at the reminder.

No, he is not.

I'm aware of the fact our break up was a hot news among the girls for so long. Most of them were happy that they could finally get a chance with him now, while some pity me for being used by Romero.

"Ira, I'm sorry." Sydney whispers from behind.

I take one last glance at him only to find him smirking at some other girl. The pain intensifies and I whirl around before I could fall apart. I close my eyes, blinking back the tears and open them again with a plan on my mind.

I fake smile cheerfully and exclaim, "I want to get drunk!" And erase that picture.

Grace opens her mouth to speak but Sydney clasps her arm and shakes her head, nodding to me in encouragement, "Let's do it."

We move over to bar and order bunch of drinks. Picking up a glass, I take a sip before emptying it. My mind burns with images of him with those girls. I take another shot, then another, again and after that I forget to count.

"Okay enough. Now lets fucking dance!" Sydney grips my wrist and pulls me on dance floor.

I laugh when she grinds into me, sending all those suggestive look. Not soon after Lucas arrives and scoops her in dancing with him. By now I'm at the verge of getting sotted. I raise my arms to dance and block the world out, becoming oblivious.

I continue to dance on the beats, stopping when I feel a hand on my hip and then being pulled again hard chest. But all of my protest dies when I realise who is it.

Romero.

Jesus!

Even out of my sense I shiver as the electric shock flies over at the contact. I try to remain unaffected and act as though he is just another guy.

But, Christ, he is not just a guy. He is Romero King. My hearts goes wild in my chest and brain numb. No one can stay untouched from his effects.

I try to dance with him for few more minutes without showing any sign of recognition and I'm successful until he presses a wet kiss on my bare neck, stilling my every organ.

No!

I can't take this from him. I need to get away from him. Now and fast. His closeness is tempting enough for me to fall on my knees and apologise for leaving him. I'll end up begging him to take me back. I didn't kill my heart only to risk his life again.

I push away from him and hastily make my way to terrace. I'm trembling when I open the sliding door. I need fresh air to clear my head. Walking outside I grab the balcony and take few deep breaths.

Deep breaths, Ira. You can control it.

The door slides open again, just after few moment. I don't have to look to know the intruder. Romero, my heart whispers. And I think some part of me already knew he'd come after me.

"Running away again, are you Akira?"

* * * * *