Alpha's Regret: Yearning For Her Love

Emily's POV

"Without knowing the depth of this, you chose to believe I was the culprit. Isn't that cruel?" I cried, choked with sobs.

"Why, Jack? Why do you hate me so much?!" I screamed desperately, my heart hammering in my chest with my lips trembling as tears smeared on my pale cheeks.

"Because I don't know you or where you came from. You can't just badge into my life and be my mate. Accepting you as my mate will make history repeat itself. Only if you had left when I asked you to!" He snapped.

There he goes again, saying those words I can't seem to comprehend. But at this point, it seems like that was a facade he was wearing to cover up for his actions.

"You know what?" I stepped closer to him, "I'm tired. I've tried but I'm tired. Reject me if you want to. I don't give a damn anymore!" I ranted, turning on my heels and walked away, harshly wiping my tears.

"Guards!" His loud growl made me stopped involuntarily. I turned around and still found his eyes on me.

The guards came running and then he pointed at me.

"I will reject you. After the truth of this matter is solved. But before that-" he glanced at the guards.

"Bundle her to the dungeon," he ordered coldly, and my face shone in terror. Kiara, who stood beside him, also trembled in fear but later smirk in triumph. She was his mistress.

The guards hesitated, not expecting such orders from him. His mum jerked up from the chair, even though she doesn't like me really much. It will be a stain to his reputation as the Alpha King if the rumor of him throwing his mate, the Luna, into the dungeon gets caught within the pack.

"Stop this nonsense, Jack. Put her on house arrest instead. People won't take it slightly with you if they....."

"What? Keep a traitor? She tries to murder me, Lady Elena!" He growled. She wasn't his biological mum, just a motherly figure within the pack.

"I didn't!" I insisted, tears sprang out of my eyes, "I didn't d-do it," I added with my voice trembling.

My heart stung when his emotionless eyes found mine. He was quick to look away, looking at the guards.

"If she tries to resist, don't hesitate to go violence on her," he added authoritatively before he walked out of the dining room.

I didn't bother to stop him or cry out for mercy. The guards came to me, I sniffled my sobs with my aching heart. I took a step out of the dining room but I stopped.

L

Then an Idea struck my head and I hastily ran out. The guards were quick to catch up with me but I didn't intend to run away. Jack wasn't far enough that my voice wouldn't stop him.

"What if I'm not a traitor?!" I shouted for him to hear me. He paused and turned around, smirking.

"If the moon goddess is so good to you, maybe that would be true. But if that happens to be the truth, you will be free and I won't reject you," he stated and I shook my head.

"No. Let's have a deal," I proposed, wiping my tears. He arched his eyebrows interestingly and I continued.

"Whatever the outcome is, you will reject me. Allow me leave this pack and you won't chase after me," I stated and he kept looking at me interestingly.

"What do I get in return?"

"You won't have me to rile up just by seeing my face." I responded and he shook his head.

"Nah. I must get something in return," he said, crossing his arms and I arched my brows.

"I don't know what I would want yet. But when the time comes, I'll demand what I want. Does that suit your liking?" He asked casually.

We held gazes for a moment before I looked away and walked towards the dungeon. The guards followed after me and my tears wouldn't stop gushing out.

Even though I was trying to act tough and strong, my heart broke into a million pieces when the sound of the closing gates resonated around the four walls of the dungeon.

I sat on the cold floor with tears gushing out of my eyes. If loving someone was a crime, maybe in my next life, I'll never fall in love ever again.

Right from the moment I woke up on that cold floor, miles away from here. I have no memories of my past life after my resurrection. Even as a seer, I still don't understand why a voice kept ringing in my head saying my mate needs me.

It took a great effort before I found Jackson. Within the pack, I was tagged as the pack orphan as no one knows where I came from or anyone related to me.

The moon goddess has blessed me with powers to see the visions and have glimpse of the future or past.

Maybe later in the future, Jack would be needing me but I never understood why he had always been rude and cruel to me. All I've ever done was to love and tried to protect and support him even though I knew he doesn't need any of those from me.

But now I am tired, I can't do this anymore. I laid on the cold cemented floor with my tears gushing out of my eyes. Without knowing it, I slept off while weeping my heart out.

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"Clang-clang-clang," the sound of the gate woke me up from my deep slumber. I rose up from the floor and watched as the guards opened the gates.

"Your attention is needed in the courtroom, your highness," one of them said with respect, bowing before me. My heart skipped a beat when I heard him.

'Is it my judgment day?' I asked myself, gazing at the guards. They urged me with their gazes to step out, but my feet suddenly grew heavy.

I fought back my tears, accepting my fate already and walked in front of them to the courtroom. My heartbeat was pounding erratically in my chest when we arrived. I was close to my death and all sorts of emotions were running through my veins.

Jackson sat on his throne in his mighty glory, his usual smirk playing on his lips. I tore my eyes away from him and glanced around, everyone seemed to be holding their breath except Kiara.

She has always been covering up her cunning cheap tricks with a fake docile expression. I wonder why everyone, together with Lady Elena, aren't seeing her fake side.

Suddenly, Jackson roared which got me startled as he rose up from his throne. Everyone bowed immediately except me. And his smile widened.

"Drag her before me," he ordered and my eyes grew alert. I glanced around to see if the guards were going to drag me as he had commanded, but that wasn't the case.

A young lady, dressed in the maid's uniform was dragged inside the courtroom.

"Perhaps the moon goddess has finally answered our prayers, my love," his voice boomed across the courtroom, before his eyes grew intent.

"SHE... is the culprit!" He clenched his words, pointing at the maid. I gazed at him as if I was seeing a joker. Does he really think a maid would be so daring to poison him knowing fully well the consequences?

"I know what must be going through your mind. And that is why the traitor will be questioned before everyone and you're free to give her whatever punishment you think she deserves," he added again with his eyes on me, which made me tear my gaze from him and turned to the maid.

Within a flash, her body was suddenly covered with blood. My eyes widened in shock, realizing what that vision meant.

"Get a pigeon milk now!" I ordered urgently and immediately crouched before the maid, hitting her chest to cough out the poison. A few guards immediately ran out to carry out my orders.

"And why should we obey you?" Kiara questioned with arrogance.

"She's going to die. Get the milk right here!" I shouted, hitting the maid's chest.

"But nothing is wrong with the maid," someone murmured behind me, making my hands paused. I looked at the maid, who was scared for her life.

"W-Who sent you?" I stuttered. The maid looks so scared and couldn't utter a word.

"You won't do the talking, the King will," Kiara interrupted. I stood up and gazed at Jackson, whose gaze was intent on me.

"Start your questioning. She has a few minutes to live unless she's given pigeon milk. She's going to die." I told him, stuttering a little. The guard came with the milk, out of nowhere, Kiara interfered and yanked the bottle of milk from the guard.

"Jackson, don't fall for this. Who knows, she might have the guard to poison the milk to kill the maid. You can't trust her traitor like her," Kiara said which angered me even more.

"Can you just stop? We need to find the culprit." I seethed.

In the middle of our banter, the maid retched before coughing out blood. I tried to get hold of the milk from Kiara to feed it to the poor maid, but she didn't release it and Jackson didn't give the order.

My heart felt crushed as life left the maid's body. Only if they had done what I asked them to do, the culprit would have been found.

"Court adjourned," Jackson finally said and all the ministers matched out. I turned around to leave as well but his voice stopped me. Turning around, I was shocked that he was close to me already.

Trying to create distance between us, he grabbed my waist which further stunned me. His gaze was gentle, looking down at me as he tucked my hair behind my ear.

"You're free... my Queen," he said tenderly. Frown lines formed on my forehead, wondering where that tone was coming.

"Leave us," he commanded with our eyes locked together. For a second, my heartbeat jumped in joy. So these hazel eyes could really look at me with so much admiration in this lifetime?

"Let go of me," I whispered.

"You're free, my Queen," he repeated.

"We had a deal,"

"Yeah, I know,"

"I want to leave,"

"Accepted," he responded almost immediately, "But I want you to stay. That's my request for allowing you to leave," he added, and it took me some time before I could process his words.

Is he drunk?

I averted my gaze from his, taking a deep breath and tried to pry his hands away from my body. But he didn't let go and pulled me closer.

"What are you doing?" I gritted my teeth.

"Holding my Queen," he said with a flirt. His intoxicating scent was making it hard for me to say those words. To reject him.

"I don't want you anymore," I said. He let go of me to which I was grateful for.

"The maids are waiting for you. It's time for your coronation. To crown you as my Luna Queen," he stated and I arched my brows in confusion.

"W-What changed?" I stammered, my heart and mind were having a great war. It was just yesterday he was accusing me of being a traitor.

"It's high time I start to embrace the fact that you're my mate. My soulmate. My other half the moon goddess has blessed me with, even though she has cursed me. You're my guardian angel, the one who is to protect me. I apologize for everything I've done. Let's become one," he said with sincerity but he sounded so full of himself.

I pushed him so hard, veins popping out of my forehead to show how angry I was.

"I WOULD RATHER DIE THAN TO BECOME YOUR LUNA!" I roared loudly that I could feel my throat burning.

"Ten years!" I growled, "You've always treated me like a piece of shit and you think becoming the Queen will buy me? I'm not a commodity!" I raged furiously.

Softly, he said, "I know, I know. And that's why I'm going to woo you now," the sound of the tone only fuels my anger.

"I, Emily Hall, reject you, Jackson Thomson, the Alpha King as my...." His hands clamped my mouth before I could finish. I violently tried to get freed from him, ignoring the emotions I felt with his hands on my mouth.

For the first time ever, I saw fear in his eyes flickering with other emotions I fail to fathom. The sound of his heartbeat was loud to my ears and that made me even more curious to know what happened. What changed?

Jackson's POV

The Previous Day.

I stormed to my room angrily, slamming the door behind me. I breathed heavily with my back resting on the door, and my eyes closed.

The image of her crying, walking towards the entrance of the dungeon flashed through my mind. I fought with my heart and mind to stop thinking about her.

I fvcking hate this bond!

Being a mixed-breed of werewolf and vampire, I never expected this mate bond to be this effective and strong.

My werewolf side has dominated my vampire side ever since Emily came into my life. The mate bond has always tried to make me go soft around her. She has betrayed me in the past, and I would never fall for it again.

I didn't pay attention to the rumored prophecies around me. Some said that I was cursed because of my mistakes before I became an immortal. And my mate will be the end of me.

Even though I was an immortal, someone must bring me to my actual death and the immortality will move to another body.

Not that I'm scared of death, but scared of loving her again. Or maybe I've developed philophobia over the past centuries I've lived.

The pain still hurts, even though it happened a very long time ago. Sighing deeply, I slumped on the bed and closed my eyes.

Many centuries of anticipating my death, lonely with no one to rely on or someone to care for me and know the real me. Just for my mate, Annabelle to come back into my life as Emily.

I was stunned and shocked to see her. At that moment, I was reminded of our last moment before her death.

Back as Emily, no matter how hard I tried to push her away, she had always been persistent, insisting that she was here to protect me. My vampire side began to fluctuate and my werewolf side dominated my body entirely.

Why I punished her for the crimes she never committed was because I wanted to discard her. She had been a huge distraction to me since her arrival. And that made me not to even chase after who the real culprit might be.

Her crying face flashed through my mind again but I was quick to push those thoughts at the farthest corner of my mind.

I tried to keep my head blank and rest, maybe my werewolf side will stop distracting my head with his whining.

After a few hours of trying to sleep but I couldn't, I stood up and changed into my hunting outfit. It was dark already and I walked out of the palace, allowing no guards to follow me.

I walked alone in a dimly lit alley, surrounded by towering buildings that seem to close in on me. Weirdly, I noticed that the air was thick with an eerie fog that chills my bones. Suddenly, footsteps echo behind you, growing louder with each passing second.

For some reason, I was scared. Even though I know that I can't die, I was still scared.

How? Why?

I quickened my pace consciously, but the other footsteps kept pace with mine. I tried to control my racing heart but it was difficult.

As I turn a corner, a figure emerges from the shadows. Tall, imposing, and faceless, it looms over me. I froze, stretching my neck up to see the figure.

My white hair stood on my neck, my hands trembling which was weird. About to growl and charge the figure.

The figure begins to close in, its presence suffocating. A shadowy hand gently touches my face. For unknown reasons, I liked it.

As I opened my eyes, the figure's face began to take shape. It's... Annabelle! I was startled, staggering backward a little before her height changed to her usual height.

Her radiant smile seems so assuring that it calms all my nerves. Her warm, loving eyes lock onto mine, and she whispers:

"Mate."

I furrowed my brows when I heard her, about to respond. A distant noise distracted me.

Knock-knock-knock

I jolted up from my sleep, covered in sweat. My heart was beating crazily like never before. It was morning already.

The knock on the door didn't stop. I reached out to the bedside table and gulped down the glass of water. Stabilizing my breath, I permitted the person to come in.

Mason, my beta and Madison, the pack witch walked in. They bowed slightly before arching their brows in concern at me. But my stern expression demanded the reason for their presence.

"What is it?"

"I came to remind you about Lady Emily's sentence when I found out that Madison was back," I nodded at Mason, gesturing with my chin for him to leave us.

Madison had been away from the pack for a few months, under my command. I wanted to be sure if there was a way that I could make Kiara my Luna instead of my mate. Also, about the constant nightmares I've been having.

But what stunned me was that the figure had finally revealed its face. And that face was Annabelle.

"Is there a way?" I asked Madison, referring to if I could make Kiara my Luna.

"I'm afraid not, your Majesty. But I've brought you a bigger news," she stated and that caught my attention.

She began saying those words and my eyes grew intent. I sat upright and listened to her.

"..... she's your guardian angel, your majesty," she concluded, guilt and remorse washed over me. I had told her to dig into my past and this revelation shocked me.

Annabelle didn't betray me, I was a fool to believe that fake news. She was actually protecting me but I was too dumb to see it. And now, when she's back as Emily, she was still trying to protect me but I had always been cruel towards me.

"She's the nicest thing the moon goddess could ever give to you even after your mistakes," Madison added. Making me feel more guilty. But then, the moon goddess cursed upon me rang in my head.

'My mate,' I whispered in my head, recalling those moments she was deadpanned to be by my side. Ten years have past, but she was still adamant to be by my side.

'Was she here to carry out the moon goddess task to execute me?' I pondered, furrowing my brows. From the corner of my eyes, Madison was looking at me weirdly.

Clearing my throat and adjusting my expression, "Leave," I said abruptly as I stood up. She bowed deeply before walking out but I stopped her.

"Prepare for the Queen's coronation. Inform Zaza and Mason to make sure to find the culprit behind the poison," I instructed her. Zaza was my gamma. She was confused when I mentioned poison. I totally forgot that she wasn't around.

"They will understand. Just do as I say!" My voice grew more cold before she scurried out of my room. I stood up from the bed and picked up my robe. Just for it to slip off my shoulders.

Anger coursed through my veins and I stepped on it. My head was in a mess.

"Argh!" I punched the wall furiously, breathing haggardly.

The culprit was found within an hour and everyone was called to the court. Fast forward to when she tried to reject me.

All these while, I've never forgotten her. Wondering how old she must have been. How her jet-black hair would have turned gray.

Her fruity scent and soft skin were still the same. What changed was just her name and her hair color.

Our love was pure, but circumstances drew us apart. When she came back to my life, I never asked her where she came from. How she survived before finding me, why did she come to me, or does she remember anything about her past life?

I did none of that and only showed her my cruel side. Rejecting me wasn't an option, because I wanted to know what the moon goddess had in store for me.

Also, my life has been boring, repeating the same routine for many years. Accepting her into my life would be a new beginning for me, most importantly, for us.

"P-Please," I mumbled stupidly, allowing myself to get lost in her sapphire blue eyes. The bond also made me look more miserable.

My hands cupped her face and fury flashed in her blue eyes. Suddenly slapping my hands away from her face.

"I reject you as my mate, Jack....."

Emily's POV

"I reject you as my mate, Jack....." he didn't allow me to finish my statement and covered my mouth.

The spark I've always longed for filled our bodies, his intoxicating scent I've always wanted to inhale filled my nose, pleading for his hazel eyes to look down at me with admiration just like now.

I got everything at once, and that got me overwhelmed.

"As your King, I bind you from uttering those words," he commanded, his eyes widened as thick saucers. He was looking scared to accept my rejection.

I should be happy, right?

Ten years of trying to prove my worth has finally paid off. Why do I feel this way? His face alone was driving me insane, and I wanted nothing but for him to hold me in his arms.

I don't want them anymore.

My vision blurred with tears, making my heart ache. I should be happy but I don't feel happy. His hands cupped my face tenderly.

"Give me this chance to set things right," he whispered. Hee was saying some words but my mind was too far away to process them.

His head began advancing, his eyes on my lips. My hands held his hands that were cupping my face, I wanted him to stop but my heart refused. The bond was too strong for me to resist, his lips were just a few inches away from mine.

My heart began pounding heavily, my mind was screaming for me to stop him but I couldn't. Finally, his lips brushed against mine in a soft, sweet embrace.

My stomach tied a knot instantly and I felt some funny emotions in my lower abdomen. I felt a rush of excitement and anticipation, my mind recalling those moments he had humiliated me in front of his subjects.

A lone tear fell on my cheeks with my eyes closed, standing like a log of wood without pushing him away. He captured my lips again. His tender caress sent shivers down my spine, making my heart race with delight.

He devoured my lips with a hungry desire, his kiss fierce and all-consuming. We both moaned at the same time, the tickling sensation fueling our desires. His hands began roaming my body, he cupped my cheeks and I found it hard to tell him to stop.

"We have been waiting....."

We were interrupted by a loud voice, making me push him instantly. I was as red as a tomato, my hands were quivering.

"W-What's going on here?" I shut my eyes when I heard Kiara's voice behind me.

"What does it look like? That aside, who gave you the right to badge into my courtroom in that manner?" Jack scolded her. I was shocked. He would never do that on a normal day.

Shocked would be an understatement. From the corner of his eyes, I guess he saw my expression. He made me turn around, and intertwined our hands together.

"She's my Queen. And you must give her the respect she deserves henceforth. Now leave us to our business," he said to her. Kiara was still overwhelmed by all the words Jack just said to her.

Personally, I was also not comfortable being with him yet. The fact that he just switched sides before me, made me rethink if I'm making the right decision.

Dumping everything he has done to me in the past, and embracing his new self with open hands. What if a time comes in the future and the table turns around?

What will become by fate then?

"Jack, can you hear yourself? I caught you kissing this imbecile and you....."

"Take that back!" He growled suddenly, snapping me out of my daze. Within a flash, he was before Kiara with his palm around her neck.

My eyes widened in bewilderment. He just stood up for me. Having nothing to say, I ran out of the courtroom. Jack called me but I didn't respond to him.

Truth to his words, maids were really at my door when I got to my room. I didn't acknowledge any of them and entered.

I lay on my bed with my face buried in the pillows, crying my eyes out with my body shaking uncontrollably. My shoulders heaved with each ragged breath, as if the weight of my grief was crushing me. My fist clenched, grasping handfuls of the bedspread as if clinging to a lifeline.

The agony was unbearable, like a thousand searing flames ripping through my body. Every breath was a struggle, and my skin felt as if it were being burned away. All my frustrations, desperations, pains and anguish were all poured out.

I was grateful that no one came to disturb me. My cries turned to sobs, facing the walls of my room. I could feel how swollen my eyes were, and didn't bother to wipe my tears. The bedspread beneath my face was soaked with my tears.

Soon, my eyes grew heavy and I closed them before I wandered into the Dreamland.

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LATER THAT DAY.

I woke up with a throbbing headache, my body was too heavy for me to lift on my own. My nose was blocked, making me breath through my mouth.

If not for my half-opened eyes, I looked lifeless on the bed. After much contemplation, I forced myself to sit upright and that was when a knock came in.

"Come in," I muttered weakly, five maids walked in with accessories in their hands. They looked at me in concern before one of them took the initiative to pour me a glass of water.

I gulped down the whole content.

"How are you feeling, your highness?" The one that poured me water asked.

"G-Good. Why are you all here?" my voice sounded weak and soft.

"The King asked us to bring you to the courtroom," she responded and I shut my eyes. I've made up my mind on what to do.

About to get up, one of them stopped me.

"Not like this, your highness. We're here to bath you and doll you up," the brown-haired maid responded with a giggle.

"Huh?" That was the sound that came out of my mouth. Was Jackson really serious about crowning me?

The maids helped me up, did their tasks and walked me to the entrance of the throne room. I was dressed in a royal blue ball gown, the embroidery and glitters designs on my chest made the dress stand out.

My sunbeam hair was braided in front with loose ends, swept to one side with a jewel comb. I gripped the edge of my gown nervously before the doors were opened.

My heart hammered in my chest steadily, trying so hard not to look down. Jack's and I's eyes met, his smile was like never before. He looks proud and content with what he saw.

The elder wolves were also represented, I didn't reciprocate the smile and only walked in. Once bitten, twice shy.

Whatever that changed his heart within a span of twenty-four hours was still unknown to me. And this is more of a reason why I have to end this quickly.

I walked in gracefully, and for the first time. Everyone rose to their feet, bowing slightly at me. Lady Elena was looking at me with mixed feelings I couldn't decipher. But Kiara's expression says it all.

Her midnight orbs were filled with hatred and bitterness, I leisurely glanced away. She can keep the Queen's throne if that's what she wants so badly.

At the moment, my peace of mind is my first priority. Getting closer, Jackson descended down his throne and came to get me. His Jasmine scent became very strong as he got closer, but I fought the urge to fall for it again.

He wanted to hold me but I made sure to walk past him. This didn't go unnoticed by everyone. I ascended the throne and stood in front of my claimed seat, Jackson was still gazing at me confusedly.

I tore my gaze away from him, fisting my hands on my dress and gathered my words before I spoke up.

"I have a special announcement," I proclaimed, murmurs were heard promptly. At this point, Jackson climbed up the throne and came before me.

"What are you trying to do?" His voice was barely audible. I made sure to avoid eye-contact and stepped aside.

"Nedlovk pack deserves a motherly figure to keep the harmony of the entire werewolf realm going. And this led me to the conclusion that I'm not....."

"Your highness!" We were all startled when Madison badged in with the Queen's crown. She looks breathless.

"I-I apologize for getting here late," she added, walking in at a fast pace. She got closer to me, bowing and gave the crown to one of the elder wolves present.

"The ritual can begin if the King's permits,"

"Definitely," Jack seconded Madison's words.

"I'm not done talking yet," I clenched my words.

"That can wait until later, my Queen," he responded with a sly smile. I knew the games he was trying to play.

About to insist, he pushed me to seat on the Queen's throne.

"Goddess!" I yelped, jumping up from the my seat instantly that turned suddenly hot like wildfire. My heartbeat palpated and my mouth went agape, everyone stared at me in surprise.

"What's wrong?" Jack asked me in concern. Before I could tell them what actually happened, Kiara has come forward.

"The throne rejected her," she declared and my eyes widened like thick saucers.

"What?" Jack was also stunned. Sitting on my seat almost got my bum roasted. It suddenly got hot immediately I sat on it.

A loud murmur filled the room, and I was in so much shock to digest this fact. So I wasn't the chosen Queen, was that why Jack has been cruel towards me and has refused to crown me as his Luna?

"Can someone fvcking explain what's going on?!" Jack boomed angrily while I was crying already. I had the chance to walk away sooner, but I chose to wait until this moment just to humiliate myself.

"The Queen has been rejected by the throne, your Majesty," one of the elder wolves said.

"How is that even possible?" Lady Elena questioned.

"That could only mean that Emily isn't Jack's mate, she must have used her means as a witch to make it seem like she was his mate," Kiara answered the question.

"Never!" Jack declined, "She would never do anything of such," he sided with me, making me hold on to the leap of faith that I will be protected.

"Or maybe the throne has been tampered with?" Madison's voice came from the executives' seats. My eyes grew suspicious and they landed on Kiara.

"Find the maid who poisoned my food closest friend. Bring her to my chamber for questioning," Jack commanded, holding my hands and pulling me out. No words came out of my mouth and only followed behind him.