Alpha's ex-wife

Carrie

It was evening, just after the sun had sank beyond the horizon. Birds sang in the trees, hidden in the deepening dusk, while insects and nocturnal creatures began to stir adding their own sounds to the mix.

Stretching my legs as I walked through the forest on steady paws, I shook my brown fur and inhaled the sweet scent of nature hanging in the air around me, a medly of earth, plants, and prey. Gone were the synthetics of the shopping center where I worked most days, the clamoring chatter of my coworkers and customers, the small apartment where I had confined myself, the miserable disaster I had made of my past, the judgment, the regrets. Everything slipped away as I allowed my wolf this chance to be wild like she was meant to be.

Running under the full moon had become my monthly therapy, and my refuge away from the stress of hiding my nature amongst humans. The last thing I wanted was to accidentally reveal secrets and have the hunters coming after me. Now that I was packless, I was more vulnerable to their particular brand of brutal justice.

My wolf was mostly pleased that we were finally free while she analyzed the stimulus all around me. Even after months of human living, she still wasn't used to being cooped up for long periods of time and was much more agreeable when I had a chance to let her out, and this night was the most important of the month.

The full moon did not force us to shift like in many legends, but it did aggravate our wolves in a way that was hard to control and even harder to ignore. The best solution to that agitation was running with the pack, but running alone would do in a pinch.

A pinch, like being a former acting luna banished to life as a rogue lone wolf. Not a glamorous life, but definitely better than my final days under the power of my former chosen mate and alpha, Asshole Dane with his precious little mate Heidi flouncing around. What a shit show that ending had been.

But now wasn't the time for regretting the past. I shook off those bitter memories as I loped through the forest, smelling the trace scents of animals all around me, but the trails were all too cold to be worth following. I was managing to feed myself well enough from my job, but my wolf wanted the satisfaction of taking down prey and gorging herself on it.

On and on we went, slipping through the gaps between trees in the thickest parts of the forest. The urge to howl was strong within me, but like all of my night time runs, I held it back since I did not want to draw attention to myself, alone and vulnerable as I was. I scented a moose and my wolf wanted to follow it, but I rejected that instinct. I was far stronger than a natural wolf, but such large prey was difficult to take on my own. Instead, I continued on until I found the fresh scent trail of a hare and allowed my wolf to follow it through the forest.

The hare didn't have a chance, because my wolf was faster. She killed the animal and ate it quickly, never one to play around with her food, and then an unfortunate mouse that served as another quick snack. Afterwards, she was content to simply lay about for a while in the gathering darkness, revelling in the feeling of having a stomach full of prey and not being confined in a human dwelling.

The bright moon rose higher in the sky as if it beckoned me, and my wolf wanted to move again. Between that light and my excellent low light vision, the forest looked almost as clear as day in black and white, even through the darkness.

The rush put me in high spirits in spite of the loneliness of my solitary run.

Until I encountered a scent trail that made my wolf pause and take a nervous second sniff.

It smelled of predator, of wolf and human. The unmistakeably distinct scent of a werewolf.

Although my wolf missed others of our kind, it was her pack-our former pack-she wanted, not some unknown werewolf who was as likely as not a danger to us. During my relatively short time as a packless rogue, I'd learned just how horrible pack wolves could be to those less fortunate. And a rogue wasn't any better. Certainly there were peaceful rogues like me, but a lot of other rogues were criminals or had lost their humanity and gone feral, leaving them insane and more unpredictable than an animal.

I didn't like my odds that these other werewolves might be harmless. Hopefully the scent was older than it smelled and I had nothing to worry about.

Then, a sound rang out that crushed my hope and chilled my blood, a powerful, eerie howl, echoing through the deepening night. Several more joined it until there was a chorus of canine voices ringing through the air, beautiful, haunting, and not nearly as far away as I would prefer.

I whirled around and ran back the way I had come. For once my wolf was in complete agreement that we should get ourselves back to our stifling but safe apartment. She was satisfied enough with our run and she had no desire to push our luck. I'd run here many times before so I knew the forest wasn't pack territory, which meant these wolves were most likely a group of rogues. I'd stand no chance against them.

As I ran, I kept my senses sharp to the sounds and smells around me. I discounted the formerly interesting scents of the forest to sweep for the musk of predator. I was almost to where I had parked my old beater when I picked up the scent of werewolves again. Troubled, I slowed my approach, searching for the source, as I got back to my sheltered parking spot.

Two wolves were waiting by my car. My heart pounded at the sight of the threat blocking my escape.

Unfortunately, they noticed me before I could slip away. A large light-furred wolf howled, while the other rushed towards me, braying loudly. I ran in a different direction through the forest, this time in the direction of the human city and my home. I would have to continue until I was exhausted, and it would take me hours to get there, but they would not dare to pursue and attack me amongst humans, would they? It was a loss to give up my car, but it could be replaced, unlike my throat.

I might have made it, but the single wolf on my tail was joined by another, and another, and finally, another pair managed to cut me off. I growled warningly as I was forced to stop, hackles raised. I couldn't beat five wolves, four of them male, but I was confident I could at least get in some damage before they took me down. If I had to die, I was going to go down swinging. I swivelled my head around to keep an eye on the many threats surrounding me.

They didn't move forward, content to keep me penned in. One of them shifted into a human with black hair and striking light coloured eyes that stood out against his medium complexion. He looked at me. "Our alpha wants to see you, trespasser."

Trespasser? This was not a pack territory. I had encountered no other wolves on any of my previous visits, and there had been no border of scent trail or any other signs to warn me off this night. How dare they suggest I had been trespassing? I growled again.

"Your best bet is to come quietly," he said. His voice was level and calm, and for one insane moment I almost thought I could trust him.

Instead of allowing him to lull me, I leveled my gaze at him rebelliously and bared my teeth. Although it was my best bet, I had no interest in cooperating. But for now I could play along since I could not take them all on. I just had to wait for my chance to dash away when their guards were down.

That chance did not come. Instead, I was herded forward, surrounded by these rogues playing pack, until we reached a clearing with a number of trailers and outbuildings situated around the skeletal frame of a building. It was obvious that the wide open space was a recent addition to the area, because the ground was still dug up in spots with treads of huge tires and spots where trees had been removed.

The scents of dozens of wolves met my nose, wild like rogues, but not as unpleasant as my past experience with packless wolves. Maybe it was because I now had the same scent, or maybe it was because these rogues were behaving like a pack. My wolf was still on edge, but her fear had lessened to be replaced with watchful curiosity, and some unfamiliar energy I couldn't identify.

A spark of curiosity hit me underneath my fear. Was I witnessing the beginning of a new pack? Most packs were generations old and wolves seldom had the desire to start anew, but the original packs had to have come from somewhere, right? This was likely dangerous and risky, but it was also intriguing.

A woman in worn clothing came towards me, holding out a grey blanket. "Shift," she said, in a no nonsense tone.

I felt exposed in front of these strangers, but I did what she said, wrapping the cloth around myself, leaving only my face, curly black hair, and feet exposed. It would have been nice to be in my own clothing or even given something proper to wear, but this was better than nothing by far.

"Come on," she said and I did, still flanked by several wolves.

My wolf was getting increasingly excited. I tried to calm her. I knew that she missed being around other wolves because I felt it keenly as well, but this was not like being around my old pack. These people were unknown and unpredictable.

She did not care about my caution.

A man walked up to us, clearly visible in the moonlight. He was all muscle, a bit wiry, but more than adequate, with a strong jaw and dark hair. The ink of a tattoo wound up his bicep and under his t-shirt and I couldn't help but trace it with my eyes and wonder how far it went.

Then, I met his nearly black eyes and the reason for my wolf's excitement became crystal clear. She was overjoyed and the feeling affected me on some level, but so did my memories of the last alpha I had dared to trust. I had given him everything I could, and I'd been rewarded for my loyalty to him by being pushed too far until I broke and lost everything.

Still, this man was like no one I had ever seen before. His appearance was like a dream I couldn't remember come to life, and now that he was before me, it was like I had always known and wanted him.

Maybe it was worth trying to trust again...

He had been gaping at me exactly as I had been gaping at him, and then he swore under his breath. The scowl marring his forehead, confirmed the wisdom of my original misgivings. Alphas were all arrogant assholes who couldn't be trusted and this one could be no different.

His expression seemed to be of disgust or some equally negative emotion and it reminded me of the way Asshole Dane had looked at me at the end. My heart sunk and I tried to control my shaking.

"I don't need a mate," he muttered.

Carrie

"I don't need a mate," the beautiful man before me said in a low, terse voice. His words stabbed the same part of my heart that had cracked when Asshole Dane had dismissed me like worthless trash. I wasn't sure it could survive another blow. A few shocked sounds from the onlookers echoed the distressed cries of my own wolf in my mind.

Even though I had not been looking for him, I could not help but want him on some instinctual level, and his words made me nearly break down and cry. But not quite. I wasn't giving up my dignity for this unworthy bastard.

I'd waited so long for this male, so long I had given up hope, and here he finally was, but he didn't want me. I spared a glare at the moon that hung in the sky like a witness. If the goddess really was there, I hated her for this new rejection.

I had to get away, and now. I whirled around on my heel, the blanket sweeping around me, and began to walk away, ignoring the wolf sentries who were still guarding me from further off. I had to get back to my car and get out of here, and now, even if I had to fight my way out. I'd drive home, gather my stuff, and start somewhere new. Somewhere far away from any contact with asshole alphas.

"Wait." His tone held an order.

Screw that. I wasn't part of his pack and he had no actual authority over me, mate or not. I picked up speed, my bare feet digging into the dirt, with no one in my way. The other wolves seemed to have moved back even further to give my mate privacy to discard me himself. How thoughtful of them.

He growled, probably in response to my disobedience. Typical alpha. Screw him.

Maybe he would just kill me and I wouldn't have to deal with any of this bullshit anymore. Or maybe I would fight back and kill him, and then my wolf would probably wither away until there was nothing left inside me.

Who was I kidding? My life as a rogue wasn't that great. I managed, but it wasn't the same as being connected to a pack. A few back in Greenwoods besides my family and friends would be sad, but they would never really know what happened either way. I should have just swallowed my pride and gone and begged my sister and her pack for help so that I never would have encountered this asshole.

His swift footsteps followed me, so I broke into a run. It didn't get me very far, because his hand caught my wrist and yanked me to a stop before I had a chance to shift. I scowled at him.

"Where do you think you're going?" he growled.

I scowled towards him. He was half a head taller than me and certainly intimidating, but I was too angry to care. "You already made yourself clear."

"Did I?"

I scoffed. His lack of enthusiasm had been obvious to everyone, judging by his pack's reaction to him saying he didn't want me.

"You're not going anywhere."

"So what, then I'm your prisoner?" I snapped, annoyed that the voice of this horrible male was still like a siren song to my wolf. She was so weak to him already and I didn't even like him. "You've got no right to stop me from doing anything."

His scowl deepened. "You wandered into my territory."

"This territory is unclaimed."

"This territory was unclaimed, now it's mine, and you were trespassing."

I tried and failed to yank my arm away. "You don't even have a scent trail around the border yet. You can't blame me for not knowing. I've been coming here for months. Maybe you should have put up a sign or something."

His scowl told me what he thought of my reasonable suggestion. Typical pigheaded alpha.

"Listen, just let me go, and I'll stay out of your territory in the future."

"Where will you go?"

"Anywhere but here. Who cares?" I wasn't telling him the location of my apartment, even though my wolf was pushing me to tell him anything and everything he wanted to know. She was strong under the moon and it was hard to hold my ground when the only thing she wanted was to shift back to my wolf form and get closer to him by whatever means necessary. Desperate wolf.

He frowned. "Come on. I don't have time for this."

"Good, I don't either. I'll stop bothering you and be on my way." I had some important moping around my apartment to get to. I yanked my arm again.

His grip was like iron.

"Let me go! You're hurting me."

"You're hurting yourself by fighting against me."

I gritted my teeth. The man was like a brick wall. Solid and stubborn and stupid. "Let me go!"

"No."

"Fine. Whatever." I stopped struggling, because it was clearly getting me nowhere.

He released my wrist. I rubbed it and glared at him. How the hell was this my mate? It was another cruel joke in a lifetime of them.

"What's your name?"

"Carrie."

"Carrie... You haven't been a rogue long, have you? You still smell faintly of pack. Which was your former?"

"None of your business." He didn't need to know about all the drama I'd left behind me.

He looked irritated with me all over again. I didn't want to spend my life under that disapproving expression. Been there, done that.

I tipped an imaginary hat mockingly. "Well, it was nice to sort of meet you, but I really will be going now. Have a nice life, stranger." I turned and started walking again.

Only to discover I was blocked in by two more towering hunks of muscle. Damn it. Apparently the guards had not backed off as much as I thought.

I whirled back towards him. "What the hell? I am so done with this!"

"I can't just let you leave. It's too dangerous out there."

"I was doing fine on my own."

It was his turn to scoff. "I can smell that. Living surrounded by humans? Do you have any idea of the dangers to a lone wolf out there?"

"Of course I do, but you can't keep me here against my will." I swallowed past the lump in my throat. I had to get this over with. "We'll reject each other and then your wolf will be fine if something happens to me." My wolf pushed for control again at the miserable idea. I was sure my brown eyes were flickering gold with the struggle.

His body was tense. "It isn't that easy and you know it," he argued. He was wrong. It was exactly that easy, I would just reject the mate who didn't want me and go back to my boring manageable life. He looked past me towards his thugs. "Show her to my trailer."

My mouth opened in automatic protest, but then I snapped it closed. I was clearly not convincing him, and neither was I getting away from them through force, so it was best not to fight it. Let them think I was complying, and they would get a surprise later.

Mate or not, I was never going to be a doormat for an alpha again.

Carrie

I refused to look back at my mate as I was escorted to his trailer. They weren't rough with me now, probably because I was rightful luna of this pack of rogues, at least I would be if my indecisive mate decided he wanted to keep me.

Not that it mattered what he was thinking. I was fuming. How dare he act like he didn't want me, and then force me to stay like he did? I didn't need my feelings messed with more than they already had been in my last relationship. Everything had been so good when I was with Asshole Dane, right up until they were not.

They brought me to a trailer, and I would have known where I was even without his words. It was obviously his home, since it smelled fantastically like him. That jerk didn't deserve to smell so good, or to look so devastatingly handsome when he didn't have the personality to match. It was false advertising.

Asshole Dane had been just as hot as my jerk of a mate, and my former alpha had blown me away when he had first turned his attention to me. I'd been twenty-five back then, around the time I had finally given up hope after a decade of waiting for my mate to show up in my life. The waiting hadn't been that bad even in my early twenties, even while almost everyone else who was single gradually found their other half and paired up, but as I got older, the wait had become harder and harder to take.

Everyone knew that if you didn't find your mate by the time you hit your mid-twenties, it was unlikely that you ever would, and it got even more unlikely with each passing year.

I'd known Asshole Dane for years, of course, because not only was he only a couple years older than me, he had also been the alpha of Greenwoods since he was twenty-five. It had been an ordinary day in spring and I had been minding my own business, working for the pack as a scout, when he'd casually started talking to me. I had been flattered, and when he proposed a relationship since neither of us were likely to find our true mates, I'd been tempted. I held out for a month, before he charmed me into giving it a shot.

And it had been so good. Asshole Dane could be a bit stubborn and inflexible, but he'd treated me well. And once we were official, I took over as acting luna. We had been good together, so good.

I put my heart and soul into supporting my pack and my chosen mate for three years.

The day that stood as the highlight of my time with Dane had been long and busy, but not unusually so. As always, I ensured that schedules were concise and dealt with a few problems that had cropped up in Greenwoods, chief among them the departure of one of our elementary teachers last month when she found her mate and moved to his pack. I'd have to inquire with other packs to see if they had any young mateless wolves who would like an opportunity to go to a different pack. Samantha had volunteered to cover the position for now, but I knew that she was anxious to return to her former role in the pack clinic.

Dane had promised me a nice night out with him, and if it hadn't been so busy, I might have been impatient for the day to pass, but I barely had a spare moment to anticipate our date. We didn't go out that often, because we were both so absorbed in our respective roles in the pack, but when we did go out, he made it worthwhile. I smiled to myself as I tidied up my desk and locked my office behind me.

I loved him so much. I was glad that I had agreed in spite of the protestations of my parents. They had very old-school mate beliefs, but it was easy for them to think that way when they had found each other in their late teens. They hadn't been forced to wait and wonder, with the hope of finding love slowly fading away. I had wanted to build a life with someone, and Dane had been in a similar position.

What was wrong with committing to another person who I had so much in common with? Both Dane and I were pack-minded people who loved Greenwoods and Dane needed an heir. I also always wanted to have pups, too. It was less likely for chosen mates to conceive than true mates, even when the odds went up after marking, but it was a heck of a lot less likely than zero with us trying.

Still, my parents weren't the only ones who weren't fans of chosen mates. It was a pretty common attitude in many packs including my own, and I understood where they were coming from. Theoretically, nothing could compare with the one chosen for you by fate. But that was easy for people to say when they had the privilege of being happily mated, and a lot harder to accept when on the verge of spending life alone. Who cared what the naysayers said about non-mate relationships?

I didn't want to be alone. Didn't I deserve to be happy, even if some hypothetical goddess didn't believe I deserved to be? I thought so.

My head was filled with excitement about having some free time with my mate as I got ready for our date. I pulled on a deep red dress that looked good with my long curling black hair. I left it loose, because I knew he liked it that way. And I liked the expression he made when he checked me out, so it was win-win.

Slipping on a pair of pumps, I hurried down and found Dane waiting for me in the pack house foyer, looking handsome in a button up shirt and dress pants. As soon as I was in reach, he pulled me close with an appreciative spark in his eye and caught my lips with his own, his tongue playing with mine until my head felt disconnected from my body. I could give it to him, he was good. It was obvious just how much he appreciated me by the excitement that was coming to life against my stomach. Maybe we weren't going anywhere after all tonight. I didn't mind that idea in the slightest. We didn't get enough alone time, either.

As if he could read my mind, his lips tilted up in an engaging grin, and he said, "We'd better go if we actually want to go."

The smile I returned was wide with all the affection I had for him. He wrapped his arm around my waist and led me out to his favourite car. We drove in companionable silence for a while before he slid his hand up my thigh and started massaging it while he drove.

"It's not too late to turn back, Dane," I pointed out with a suggestive smile.

"No, I want to try this place out. I've heard it's good." Even though he smiled, it was obvious by his firm tone that his mind was set.

He squeezed my leg a bit higher, and warmth pooled in me. He was such a tease. But I liked that.

"If you say so."

"I'm hoping you'll like it, too," he said.

"How could I not?"

We talked about our day as we drove into the city, making comments filled with affectionate innuendo. Dane pulled into the parking lot and parked smoothly, demonstrating his skill as a practiced driver. He walked around to open my door for me, giving me a long drawn out kiss after he helped me to my feet. I leaned towards him until he broke our kiss again.

"Better go. We've got reservations," he said, holding out his arm to me.

We entered the elegant restaurant, light ambient music playing in the background as the host led us to our seats, in a private area tucked into the corner of the restaurant. Large windows looked out onto a green space beyond that my wolf appreciated. After looking at the menus we both ordered steak like the stereotypical werewolves we were.

We chatted and laughed throughout our meal. When we were done eating, he smiled and said, "I pre-ordered us dessert, I hope you don't mind."

"Of course not," I laughed. He knew I wasn't very fussy when it came to food-as long as it was mostly healthy, I didn't mind indulging from time to time.

"Did you know it's the three-year anniversary of the day I finally convinced you to be with me?" he asked.

"Really? I thought we counted from our first date?"

"No, we count from when you finally agreed."

I smirked at him playfully. "That's not how I count it."

"You're so stubborn," he said, but there was no criticism in his tone.

"Isn't that why you chose me?"

"In part, Care."

"Oooh, so mysterious."

"You're gorgeous, but you know that."

I simply smiled. I had never lacked for male attention, but I enjoyed none of it as much as I enjoyed his.

The waiter brought out a couple of slices of chocolate cake. I scooped a forkful to my mouth, when a glint caught my eye. I looked towards the decorative rosettes on the edge of my piece, and saw...

"A ring?" My heart pounded.

I met Dane's eyes and found him watching me. He was smiling fondly. I picked the ring up from where it lay, surprisingly not at all sticky from the set icing.

"You're the mate that I wish that the moon goddess had picked for me. Will you marry me?"

A little inhuman and unwolflike sound of surprise left my mouth at his words. He waited expectantly, his steady gaze on me. He was not kneeling, but only a fool would ever expect that sort of behaviour from an alpha, and I just didn't care.

Finally, I found my voice. "Yes. Yes, I will."

He was up and caught me into his arms, his mouth on mine and the steel of his body against the softness of my own. I might have been crying for joy.

My head was so wildly spinning with euphoria that I barely noticed when we left the restaurant and we pulled up to a hotel. "I thought we could have a night completely to ourselves, away from pack and responsibilities. Just you and me," he said wickedly, revealing a small suitcase in the trunk that he must have packed before I could protest that I didn't have anything along with me.

I gave up and did what he wanted, which was easy because I wanted to. He led me into the hotel and up to our room, and the moment the door closed behind us the bags dropped to the floor and his hands were on me. He slipped me out of my dress before meeting my mouth with his own, and I welcomed the intrusion, pulling at his buttons with my hands between us, then running my fingers along the ridges of his muscles.

His hands found my breasts and caressed them, and then he carried me to the bed, stripping us both naked and claiming what he wanted from me and giving what I wanted in return. I revelled in my happiness with him.

Who knew where our mates were, or if they were still alive, or even if we had mates at all? Could anyone even prove that every wolf had a mate? Some went their entire lives without finding their so-called destiny.

I had made my choice and taken a chance, and I was not going to let the cruel whims of fate keep me from living it.