All it takes is one night of pleasure

Peter

I grew up on the countryside, with all of the good and the downsides of it.

When I was 22, we used to party a lot, drink a lot, and we shared a lot of moments with my friends crew of back then. It was around that time that our group expanded to include a group that was two years younger than we all were; who had merged with us after we all hung out at a party organised by someone known by both groups.

We were all still young and pretty much either living with our parents or renting out small studio apartments in the city, where we studied during the week. During that summer, we all returned home to the countryside. The summer was particularly hot and dry, which allowed us to party outdoors a lot, in some of the gardens, when parents' weren't home; or even in an empty field, where we would all bring a piece of lighting, camping chairs and tables, and some speakers to just get a party started.

I don't really know how come, and recurring drinking and a lot of parents having houses with pool probably played a big role in this, but our crews were really open with nudity. I couldn't count how many times I skinny dipped while being wasted in one my friends' parent's pool. It almost became usual that, at some point of the evening, one of us would end up naked. Interestingly enough, the same happened in the group of the newcomers.

I guess the way we grew also played a role in this, but nudity wasn't really a big issue for our group. It's not something we even discussed, it was just the way it was, it felt like normality, and to be totally honest, it was really so much fun, and we still laugh about things that happened when we all used to walk around drunk and naked to this day. Although it never happened when girls were around, it was just something so common for us; sometimes starting as skinny dipping, sometimes starting very simply with one of the guys saying « Guys, guys, guys ?! Shouldn't we be naked by now ?! » and taking off his shirt while one of the other bros just followed the lead, taking his pants off and mimicking helicopter with his penis while screaming « Damn right my man! ».

This was all crushed when I first brought up these situations to my classmates at the university and saw their surprise, their shock almost. Somehow they interpreted this as a very sexual act, while it was in fact simple brotherhood and pure acts of fun, with nothing else intended. As a matter of fact, all of the members of the group were defining themselves as straight - myself included, except for my friend Charles who had come out to us a few years ago.

But you know what they say: « no one acts more gay than a group of straight friends ». I was a soccer player back then, and I can only confirm the latter statement, just by standing in the locker rooms after a winning game.

I had first met Peter six months before that, on new year's eve. The newly formed group rented out a small space in a nearby village to share a meal, to binge drink and to dance out what we thought were adult problems back then. Peter was a member of the other crew, and I hadn't had the opportunity to discuss with him yet, although his reputation preceded him. He wasn't much of a soccer fan, he was more of a cyclist, which is probably one of the reasons I had never met the guy. He used to spend hours on the roads, riding at very high speeds wearing just a lycra combination and a helmet, and never hung out with our group before that party on new year's eve. I had heard of him from my friend Logan, a long time friend of his who would describe him as a stand up guy, extremely kind and very intelligent dude. They spent a lot of time together, and Logan would always have a story about how amazing their parties were or the latest crazy thing they did on week-ends. « Dude, TL and I got so drunk last Saturday. » was a common way for Logan to start a story. « TL » was Peter's nickname, although I first thought they were his initials.

Peter was about 6 feet tall and very lean - probably from all the cycling. He had the typical cyclist morphology, very defined muscles, especially his calves which were really standing out when you looked at his shaved legs. Dark and short haired, wearing big black glasses, he attempted to grow out a three day beard, not successfully; quite a common guy apart from the very toned physique. Had he not had this for him, he would've probably passed for a nerdy guy.

During NYE's diner and as we all started to be a little tipsy, we all started to dance between main and desert. All the dancing heated up the room and I decided to go outside for a cigarette. Peter was the only one outside, and was smoking, sitting alone on a bench just by the entrance. I exited the room, saw him and said « Wow, I really didn't picture you a smoker. ».

He asked why. « Well, I thought you were this big time sports guy who was only into healthy stuff and all. » I answered.

He laughed, looked at me, sipped a little beer from the bottle he was holding and said « Aren't you a soccer player? ». I paused for a second, realising he was right and answered « Yeah, but I'm an idiot for smoking ».

« Well, that makes two of us then ». He said while raising his beer to make it clink with mine.

And just like that, it was the beginning of our friendship. We kept taking outside for half and hour at least, sharing a few more cigarettes together. We didn't really introduce ourselves, it was just a natural, like we had been friends for years. We realised we had a lot in common, much more than some friends. Of course, we also shared some of our funniest stories involving friends we both knew, like that time Peter actually fell asleep drunk on his doorstep and was waken up by this mother the next day; which I thought was really funny.

After a few more minutes, Logan opened the door, releasing a cloud of condensation and a smell that was a mix of vodka and sweat, like someone had been drinking in a sauna. Logan glimpsed at us, look at Peter and said « Well I'm glad you two finally met! TL, dude, don't tell too much embarrassing stories man! », to which Peter replied not to worry.

At that moment, it hit me that his first name being Peter, his initials could't be « TL ». So I asked.

« Wait, why is Logan calling you TL? ». Peter laughed and sighed.

« Oh, that's, embarrassing... »

« Dude, you just told me you fell asleep on your doorstep, I'm sure I can handle it. »

« I'm actually not so sure you would », Peter said smiling.

« I really don't get it », I replied thinking I was maybe too drunk to understand.

« Ok ok, I'll tell you because you'll probably figure it out later anyway. »

I looked at him raising one of my eyebrows, to express my confusion.

« Ok, so... TL... It means Third Leg. Because, you know, I'm... big. Down there » he said looking down at his crotch.

I paused for a second, and then I actually really burst into laughter. I laughed so hard I almost fell down the bench. « Come on dude, it's not that funny. » he continued while bumping me with a little smile on his face to indicate me to stop. Gasping for air and trying to calm the laughter, I said « Sorry, I'm not making fun of you, just of the situation, and of the nickname also. »

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« Yeah, well, Logan's been calling me that for year, it kinda spread to the rest of the group » he replied. « It was kinda funny at the beginning but lately he's been calling me this in front of people we had just met. You're fine, but please keep it to yourself, I don't want the whole world calling me that. » he continued. As drunk as I was, I got his point. I was pretty comfortable with what nature gave me but I wouldn't want to be reduced to that, as flattering as it was.

« Sure man, no worries ». I replied, and continued : « I'm going to go back inside to show my best dance moves, you game? ». He answered positively while pressing his cigarette bump against the bench, and followed me inside.

The rest of the evening went pretty well, we laughed a lot, and the two groups were slowly merging into one, starting shaping friendships that would last long. Midnight was coming around and we were all starting to be more than tipsy. After the countdown, we all celebrated by jumping around in circles. When it quieted down a little, we turned the music down a little and sat back at the long table for desert. I was sitting next to Charles, my best friend - for whom I had no secrets. I told him about my funny encounter with Peter and the story behind his nickname. « Really ? The nerdy guy ? » he asked. I could see that he was intrigued, after all I had just told a gay guy about a dude who's nickname is Third Leg. « Yeah, no I don't buy it, I'm going to need proof. » he continued.

As we went on with the party, Charles was finding pretexts to get acquainted with Peter, which I thought was hilarious. I wasn't sure about Peter's orientation but having a pretty good straight-dar, I was almost sure Charles had no chances with him. Still, they seemed to get along, and actually also quite good friends after that.

I was mostly drinking beer at that party, which made me go to the toilet quite a lot. As I was standing over a urinal to relieve the pressure, Peter entered the bathroom. He seemed way more drunk than I was, stumbling after pushing the door. While urinating, I asked him if he was alright. « Yeah bro, don't worry about me, I'm just really wasted », he said pretty coherently. He went on and said « I just really like this party, I love my new friends, I love you man », he said hugging me from behind while I still was doing my thing. « Oh, I love you too bro. » I replied while trying to keep my aim straight. He then unbuttoned his jeans, unzipped his fly and also started relieving his pressure.

I was pretty much done, put things back in place and went on to the sink to wash my hands while still talking to Peter, even if he was doing most of the talk, keeping on saying how happy he was to be here, etc. There was a mirror above the sink, allowing me to see Peter behind me.

« And you know, as we are friends right now, I think we should know each other fully.So dude, here's my schlong! » He said while turning away from the urinal and looking at me. I had seen a lot of my friends naked, so I was pretty familiar with men's anatomy, but I immediately understood why Logan gave him his nickname... It indeed was the longest and thickest I had ever seen. It's not always easy to say with perspective and all, but I remember thinking it was twice my size. I wasn't easily impressed, and I have to admit that after seeing a lot of friends naked, or teammates over the years in the locker room, I didn't really care about other guys' essences; but this scene is still crystal clear in my mind today.

« Holy shit! » I exclaimed, « do you have a permit for that? » I continued as he laughed at my reaction, and then to my joke; before putting it back in his white briefs, still revealing the majestic shapes of it all.

« Ok your turn now, bro. » he said to me. As I said, I always was pretty comfortable with what nature gave me, whether it be my body in general or particular parts of it. And although I was feeling a little shy after discovering what TL had in store, I executed myself and put my rod out.

Peter smiled and and approached me, put his left hand on my shoulder while it was still out in the open with his right hand, he grabbed my member and shook it as if he wanted to do a handshake.

Feeling a little surprised, I took a few steps back and laughed, while he looked me right in the eyes and said with the most serious tone I had heard him speak with : « I'm so glad we're dick buddies, bro ». He then hugged me with both arms while my pride was still out, and pressing against his crotch.

I remember at that time thinking « oh man, this guy is completely crazy, I get why Logan likes him so much. ». We indeed became dick buddies that night, whatever that means. Peter exited the bathroom without washing his hands, leaving me there, still in awe of what had just happened. I felt a mix of astonishment, contempt, and the simple joy of having found yet another guy as crazy as we were.

After this incredible situation, I went to find Logan to tell him that TL showed me his... TL.

« Oh did he give you the classic « we're dick buddies » now speech » he asked?

« That's a thing ?! » I exclaimed.

« Oh yeah, most of the guys here went through the same, not as quickly as you did though. Congratulations, you have a new friend! Oh man, I can't wait to party with the both of you now ».

And Logan seemed really legitimately happy about this.

At this time, I remember thinking « Ok, if I tell this to my friends at the university, they're definitely going to think we're insane. »

We all got really wasted that night.

And, surprisingly enough, nobody ended up naked.

Logan

The winter was particularly warm but also rainy that year. Of course, everybody hates rain, but for our group it also meant that we couldn't see each other that much, as we hung out mostly outdoors. My parents are hard workers, and would be away a lot on business trips; meaning my brother Clay and I would have the house to ourselves a lot.

Our parents, who had met at a conference and immediately bonded decided to partner up and create a company specialising in water purification. They fell in love with each other on the job and with the job. The company was a big success from the start, so much that my brother and I never had to worry about money. Still, we were raised to learn the value of money and to work for it ourselves, that's why we both were engaged in long studies. He was doing a Ph.D. in some field of chemistry I never really understood, and with the ultimate aim of continuing what our parents started and taking it too another level. As for myself, I studied business and had just obtained an MBA, taking a year off to cool things down and with the plans of traveling before going into the real world.

We lived into quite a big house, Clay and I both had small apartments in the back of the garden. Our parents thought it would teach us independence early on. A few days after the new year's eve party on one of those rainy days, I invited Logan over so we could play video games, which was the only thing we could do together while it was pouring outside. Logan was a very good friend of mine, and we were on the same soccer team for years, and saw each other regularly as he lived four houses down the same street. He was 5'8'', chestnut hair, and a face that kept the innocence of a kid. Charles, my best friend who also was gay would describe him as a twunk. I had to look up the definition: « young, slim but muscular »; pretty accurate. Logan had genetics going for him, he was always good at sports, incredibly fast and enduring and had a toned body even without working out too much. He had his way with girls, although he was only 23, he was into his third or fourth pretty long relationship, always with beautiful girls.

Logan and I would play shooter games for hours, while drinking a few bears. I was better at those games that he was, which was driving him crazy; on the other hand, and on the rare occasions he'd actually win, he would tease me about it for long minutes. As we were into our third of fourth hour of playing and our third or fourth beer, he finally managed to win a game, which caused him to dance around my apartment like he'd just liberated Paris from the enemy. When I finally calmed down and sat back on my couch, he teased me a little bit more.

« Dude, stop you just won ONCE, get over it. » I said.

« Oh would you just finally admit I'm better than you? » he replied, before sipping a little beer.

« Oh come on, you're so not! » I said while pushing him a little, which caused him to spill his drink.

« Bro, look what you did ! ». He said, standing up.

Having my buttons a little pushed, I might have bumped him harder than I thought, which made him drop his bottle and spill almost half his bottle on his jeans, and on my couch. I went into the bathroom to get a towel and try to dry out my couch.

« I see you're more worried about your couch than me. » he said while looking at me as if it was all my fault. « Oh come on you're not made of sugar. » I replied rolling my eyes. « No, but I also got beer all over me ». I admit I couldn't care less, after all it was his fault he couldn't hold his bottle, but I was feeling generous and proposed to help him out: « Well, just take off your jeans and I'll put them on the radiator, they'll dry out before you go back home ». A little pissed, he agreed by a simple « Fine. ».

Logan took his pants off, unveiling his sculpted thighs topped by almost too tight dark blue trunks, which made me interrogative.

« - Erm, dude, don't you think these might be a little too revealing?

- They're a gift from my ex, I wasn't exactly planning on taking my pants off for you today.

- Right, sorry, I just that I'm not used to seeing you in such tight trunks.

- Meaning you usually pay attention to what underwear I'm wearing?

- That's not what I meant, but yes, you're usually more of a boxer shorts kind of guy after practice.

- Well I'm sorry didn't dress up to your expectations, maybe you'd like me to go home and change ?

- Don't be stupid, just sit your ass down, I have a revenge to take. ».

Logan sat back down, closer too me, to avoid sitting on the part of the couch where beer was still drying under a towel. We played a few more games, that I obviously won, which began boring him. After the end of a game, he dropped the gamepad on the coffee table that was facing the TV, finished his bottle and burped.

« - Another one? » he asked.

« - Sure, you know where the fridge is ».

He stood up, walked up to get two more bottles, still only wearing his slim white T-shirt and his overly-tight trunks. While he did, I could see the base of his cheeks stick out of them, which made me a snort a little.

« - What are you laughing at?

- Sorry man, I just don't think I've ever seen that much of you. » I said, still laughing a little.

« - Alright, that's it, I'm throwing these out as soon as I get home.

- Nah man, I'm just teasing, you look good » I said, meaning that as a genuine compliment.

- Well, thanks? Let's just hope Charles don't walk in on us, he'd probably start imagining things ».

I was unsure of what he meant by that. Charles was also a good friend of his, but I knew he always thought it became a little weird to still hang out the same way we used to, particularly with our tendency of ending up in our birthday suits all the time because after all « we don't do it around girls either » as he used to say. Still, didn't want to engage in this debate, so I answered with a simple « Yeah... ».

« - You know we used to jerk off together when we were younger, maybe I turnt him gay. »

I used to think I knew everything of Charles's life, but that's something he never told me, and I was really astonished.

« - I'm sorry, what now?

- Yeah, we used to watch girl on girl stuff and, you know... Release some tension together.

- What? When? How?

- You didn't know?

- Of course I didn't.

- Oh. Sorry, I thought he did that with you too, I mean we all did back then.

- WHAT. What do you mean you all did?

- Well yeah, me, Charles, TL, Aaron, Fred; even Brody once... »

I was so shocked. I had heard stories of friends doing that together in the adolescence and as an experiment but I never thought it happened inside our group. I'm not even sure if I was more shocked about the fact that I never knew it happened, that they all did it and not me, or that he seriously thought he was responsible for Charles being gay.

I just stood there with my eyes wide open looking at Logan.

« - Oh come, don't look at me like that, we were young and experimenting, it was fun, I'm sure you did that » he continued.

« - No, never. » I said, still a little astonished.

« - Oh dude, that's just sad.

- Sad ? How's that fucking sad.

- Well you know, it's part of being teenagers, I feel kind of bummed that you didn't get to experience that. ».

It took me quite some time to gather my thoughts. Logan handed me the beer he had just grabbed from the fridge and I just sat there holding it, confused. After a couple seconds, Logan sighed and carried on:

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« - Alright dude, we're fixing that.

- Huh?

- Get your dick out, we're jerking off, you're not missing out on that.

- Are you out of your mind or is the beer messing with your head?

- Oh come on, it's not that big a deal, you're obviously jealous, I've seen your dick a thousand times and to be honest I could use it since Jeanie is out of town.

- Well you might need it but I'm good.

- Dude, come on, just see it as a new level in our friendship.

- Yeah, no, I feel like we're pretty close already.

- Well, then we'll be even closer. »

At this moment, Logan put both his thumbs around his waist and pulled down his trunks, revealing his manhood, at ease.

« See, at least you can't tease me for the trunks anymore. Now are we doing this or not? » he said. I was struck by his confidence. Of course, he was a handsome young man, and he knew it, but he was comfortable in all of the situations. I guess that confidence was what made me agree. To this day I still don't know why I agreed. There he was, facing me almost entirely vulnerable yet still looking so strong, I guess I almost felt inspired. I stood up, took off my sweatpants and sat back down on the couch in my trunks and asked :

« - So how does this work?

- Well, take of your underwear, you'll be more comfortable. I'll just put on some porn on my phone. ». I was struck by how methodical he was, it was obvious this was not his first time. To prove that I was committed to this, I instructed him to put it on the TV, while deep inside of me I wasn't sure I would be able to keep going. I guess I just went with the flow.

Logan put on some random lesbian movie, probably the first he had found, and just started stroking himself. I softly started caressing my own stem. Logan got solid pretty quick. It was the first time I saw another guy being stiff, it took me more time than he did.

I did not pay much attention to the details back then, but he was probably around six inches, but imposing, I remember telling him he his tool was much thicker than it looked reposed.

« Dude, don't watch me, that won't help get yours up » he replied. I turned my head to the TV.

I wasn't conscious about that back then, but seeing him rubbing it and being so confident about it being unyielding made me feel like I was very powerful, and sitting next to him like that actually made me raise mine in a matter of seconds. « See, there you go » he reacted at that.

This being my first time sharing this moment of vulnerability, I was unsure about how far it would go, and Logan hadn't given me any clue as to when and how we would end it, so I just kept going, sometimes glimpsing at how he was coming and going and how the movement of his skin would lift up and down his essentials.

« Whoa dude, I'm getting close » he eventually said. « Do you want us to stop? » I asked. « Nah, I'm good if you're too, man ». I didn't reply, silently expressing my agreement.

I could tell his breathing was accelerating, as were his hands. It wasn't long until I saw all of his muscles tighten, lifting him up a little from the contraction of his glutes.

« Oh damn » he expressed as if he did not expect it to be so quick. A few seconds later, I saw his whole face getting tense, his eyes close, and his mouth exhale quick volumes of air; before unloading his desire on his t-shirt in quick bursts.

Seeing him like this, exposed with his vulnerability unveiled made me feel even more powerful, like I was the master of a very tiny universe; our universe, which made me join him in climax a short moment after him, letting myself erupt on the soccer jersey I was wearing. In a sigh of relief, we looked at each other and just started laughing, our fluids exposed on our respective pieces of clothing.

« Guess I'm going to need to borrow one of your shirts » he said while laughing.

« Looks like it, yeah. » I answered in the same laugh.

« Dude, do you have a cigarette? I'm always craving a smoke after I jerk off » he asked while taking off his t-shirt and rolling it in this hand.

« Sure, give me a second ». I answered, leaning on the side of the couch opening the end table's drawer to get out my pack. « I should probably open the window though ».

« Don't worry, I'll get it. Get that shirt of though, you're making me uncomfortable ». He said while standing up, and walking naked towards the window ».

« I'm making you uncomfortable?! Dude you still got some dripping from that dick of yours ». I answered. Looking down, he wiped his tip with the shirt he still had in his hand. I took off my shirt and did the same, it was ruined anyway. Logan sat back next to me, and grabbed two cigarettes from the pack I had grabbed, offering me one. We both lit ours, just sitting there on the couch, with our arms on the backrest, our manhoods out, our blood flows slowly decreasing.

We sat quiet a few seconds before Logan asked « So? What do you think? » while rearranging his rod. I shrugged and said « Well, NOW I'm glad Charles didn't walk in on us ». Logan laughed in approval. We both finished our cigarettes, went in my bathroom to wash our shirts under clear water before throwing them in the washing machine, still bare-skinned, and eventually got dressed again.

He was right. I did feel closer to him after that.

He did too. We both finished our beers, not talking about what happened. Logan decided to head back home, I walked him to the door and closed my first to bump his like we usually do. He looked at me, said « come on, dude », and hugged me for a few seconds.

Going away, he winked at me with a smile, kicked me in the nuts and said « I sure hope I didn't flip you gay, pussy ».

Clay POV

My brother and I were very close. Very different also. I always thought he was more intelligent than I was, more calm, more educated, more everything. It's not that I was jealous of him, more envious of all the things he did better than I did. Clay is two years younger than me, but he's way more mature and, although he was a regular in our group of friends, he always managed to keep he's distance while still being an integral part of the crew.

He wasn't into sports as much as I was, and thus not athletic as I was, but genetics helped him with his endurance and whenever we practiced together, whatever the sport was, he still managed to compete with me. We used to wrestle a lot when we were younger, I actually broke his nose once during one of our battles, something our parents still like to bring up when they're pissed at me or thought I was was too turbulent.

Clay was always near-skinny, but still defined in a way that made you do a double take. His body was lean, the kind of build that looked almost fragile at first glance but had a surprising strength beneath it. He wasn't big, but his arms and shoulders had a natural definition that came from being active. His face was sharp, with high cheekbones and a jawline that could cut glass, but there was something softer about it too, a kind of youthfulness that Charles said reminded him of Timothée Chalamet on his best days. His hair was always short, styled in a way that looked like he had put little effort into it, but still somehow good like he hadn't tried, but the world was convinced he had. At the time of this story, he was single, and had broken up with a girl a few months before the new year. He used to tell me he wanted to stay single for a while, and that he was too busy with his thesis to find someone else anyway.

As calm as he was, he also had a lot of steam to blow off and that accumulated while writing his Ph.D. thesis. For that, he had a simple, yet effective solution: hitting industrial techno nightclubs; something he actually made me discover and I sometimes enjoyed with him. Most of the time though, he liked going alone. He said that it procured him infinite release, and the safety of constant, uninterrupted beats made him feel like nothing unexpected could disturb him while he was hitting the floor, relentlessly. Clay sometimes used drugs during his trips to the club, but most of the time, he went sober, just drinking Club Mate; a tea based energy drink that apparently was very popular in the Berlin techno scenes.

His go-to place was Concrete, a club in the nearby city that looked more like an abandoned warehouse than an actual club. Despite the looks of it, the vibe in there was incredible. It was raw, poorly-lit, and packed with people who shared the same energy, nothing like those typical Ibiza-like clubs where people wore dresses and shirts and drank champagne. We both rapidly discovered that the techno scene was very open-minded, and that anyone could be whoever they wanted to be inside the club. A parenthesis from the rest of the world, that often lead to people walking around shirtless, girls as much as guys, people dressing as the opposite sex, people experimenting with drugs, and flirting with some boundaries of decency. All of it bound by the unsaid omnipresent rule of respect and honesty. Clay was deeply convinced that the world would be a better place if every one acted as they do inside these walls.

On a Sunday afternoon while I was laying on the couch watching TV inside my parents' house, enjoying their big screen TV while they were away, Clay entered the through the front door, looking very obviously tired. « Hey man! » I screamed from the couch, as to let him know I was there. He didn't answer and headed straight to the kitchen, opened the fridge and made himself a sandwich with some leftovers from what I had cooked before. Once he was done with this improvised attempt at cooking, he sat on a chair next to the couch, put his feet on the coffee table and started eating the sandwich.

I looked at him devouring his meal as if he hadn't eaten in days. Apart from his fatigue, I could tell something was different, or at least that he wanted to talk about something; I know my brother, if he didn't want to talk, he would've headed straight to his studio. Plus, he was smelling a mix of sweat and cigarettes that was embalming the living room.

« You alright? Didn't hear you come home last night. » I asked.

« That's because I didn't, I just got back ». He answered.

« Dude it's two in the afternoon, got back from where? » I asked again, looking at the time on my watch.

« Concrete. » He simply answered while taking yet another bite of the sandwich.

« Concrete closes at seven in the morning. » I said in an obvious tone.

A few seconds passed. He shrugged, said nothing.

While I was pretending to watch TV, I let a few more seconds pass, also letting him finish his sandwich before asking: « Alright, what's her name? » I asked, hinting at the fact he met a girl.

He smirked, but still didn't answer. But I was intrigued, and keen to know more. Clay and I shared every bit of our lives and told each other a lot, down to our sexual experiences. His body count was actually higher than mine, the mystery surrounding his personality attracted the girls even if it wasn't his goal.

« - So what? You're not gonna tell me anything? » I asked, obviously curious.

« - Do I HAVE to tell you everything all the time?

- Of course not, it's just that I'm not used to you keeping secrets for me.

- Right. »

He paused again for a moment and starting telling the story.

« - So, I was doing my usual thing, just lost in the music, you know? It was so good last night, you would've been all over it. The place was packed, but after a while, I found this little spot on the edge, right where I could move but not feel like I was suffocating. It was around 4 a.m., the crowd was thickening, and that's when she showed up, this girl. She was dancing like she didn't care who was watching, which I kinda liked. I didn't even need to see her clearly to know she was my type. So, naturally, I slid a little closer, just enough to make contact, y'know? And when I did, I felt her skin, cold as hell, like she'd been outside for hours or something.

So I did what any self-respecting guy would do: I grabbed my hoodie off my waist and tossed it around her shoulders. Gotta admit, I was feeling pretty smooth for a second.

But then, just like that, she looks me in the eye, gives me a little smile, and walks off with my hoodie still wrapped around her. No words, nothing, just like that. I mean, what can you do? I was left standing there like an idiot, but hey, it's all part of the game.

- Huh, that's weird.

- Yeah, thought so too. Actually thought I would never see that hoodie again, but didn't really care, it was one of yours anyway.

- WHAT? Which one?

- The plain dark one you like.

- Did I say you could borrow it?

- Would you have said no?

- Nah. »

The conversation made me smile, I loved our complicity and how he knew exactly how I would react. Clay kept telling his story:

« - A few minutes go by. I'm not really counting time at this point, just feeling the vibe. Then, out of nowhere, this dude comes up next to me, puts his hand on my shoulder, and asks if I was the one who gave his girlfriend my hoodie. I'm thinking the guy's about to swing at me or something, right? But I didn't wanna make it worse, so I just shrugged and said, 'Yeah, I gave it to her.'

But hey, honest mistake, right? I didn't know she came with anyone. So, I apologised. Like, what else was I supposed to do?

- Did he hit you? Tell me that son of a bitch's name, I'll find him and make him regret he ever lift a finger at you ». Angrily, I sat up on the couch before going up, about to storm out of the house in search of the bastard that had hit my little brother.

« Dude, no calm down, that's not what happened. And what are you, twelve? I can defend myself you know. »

His words hit me like a bucket of cold water. I froze, stunned by the way he just shut me down like that. It wasn't just the words, it was the way he said it, like I was overreacting, and suddenly I wasn't so sure of myself. My irritation flared up, but I couldn't quite shake the feeling that he'd just put me in my place.

I sat back down, a little taken aback, my jaw tightening. Alright, fine, he can handle himself.

« - So what happened?

- He hugged me.

- I'm sorry, what now?

- Yeah I guess he was on E, but he hugged me and thanked me for taking care of his girl.

- This makes no sense.

- I know, right? Anyway, so. I just kept on dancing, the girl and his boyfriend... Ok, Vanessa and Will, those are their names. Vanessa and Will were also dancing next to me. At some point while glancing at them, I see Vanessa talking into Will's ear without be able to hear what she says, I just see Will nodding in agreement. And that's when it happened.

- When what happened?

- Dude, you're so not ready for this » he said smiling.

I leaned in, already feeling my pulse quicken. Something in the way Clay was holding back made my stomach tighten. He was playing it cool, but I could tell he was savouring the moment, like he had something wild to drop, and he knew exactly how to keep me hanging. « Go on » I said.

« Vanessa just strolls up to me grinning like a cat who's about to get fed, and drops this bomb like it's no big deal: 'So, what do you think... You and me head back to my place, mess around with Will watching, and then Will joins in too?' »

I blinked at him, trying to process what he just said. My brain was playing catch-up, like some glitchy app that couldn't load fast enough.

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« Wait, what? » I finally stammered, trying to sound like I wasn't completely thrown off by the casualness of it all. « She, she actually said that to you? Like, for real? »

Clay just shrugged, leaning back against the couch with that familiar, half-amused smirk on his face, like it was the most normal thing in the world. « Yeah, man. No biggie. Just threw it out there like it was no different than asking if I wanted to grab a drink. »

I couldn't help but laugh, but it came out a little nervous, a little forced. « Seriously? She's that forward? ». Clay raised an eyebrow, his smirk turning into something more like a grin. « Guess so. But, you know, not everyone has to dance around shit. Some people just say it. Straight to the point. »

I wasn't sure if I should be impressed or a little unsettled. Maybe both.

« So you... » I asked before I could stop myself, but then I immediately regretted it.

« Yeah » he answered smirking again.

Now I actually was completely thrown off. My little brother had just told me that engaged in a threesome, with another guy to top it off. I had no idea what to make of that. I stared at him, trying to find something to say, but my mind was just blank. I hadn't expected that. Not even close.

« So... you, uh, you actually went through with it? » My voice came out sounding rougher than I wanted it to. I didn't know if I was more shocked or just pissed off at how casually he was talking about it.

Clay shrugged like it was the most normal thing in the world. « What, you think I'd lie about it? » I couldn't even process the fact that he was so nonchalant about this.

« No, but... it's just... fuck, man. A threesome? With another dude? That's, like, a lot. » I stopped, realising too late I probably sounded like I was judging him, even though that wasn't what I meant.

Clay rolled his eyes, clearly not bothered. « Yeah, well, I'm sure had your own share of... adventures, right? Just because you don't talk about it like I do doesn't mean you're some saint. It's not that big of a deal. »

I didn't know if I should be angry, confused, or maybe a little... I don't know... But the more I thought about it, the more it gnawed at me.

« I'm just saying, that's... that's a big news Clay.. »

Clay just gave a half-laugh, like he didn't get why I was so worked up. « Yeah, well, it doesn't have to be. No big deal. Don't freak out over everything, bro. »

The worst part was, I kind of was freaking out. But I wasn't sure what exactly I was freaking out about. The fact that my little brother was out here living some crazy, boundary-pushing life? Or the fact that I had zero clue how to process it, even though he was younger and seemed so much more... free than I was?

« So what, you're bi now? » I asked still a little freaked out. « Oh God dude don't. Just don't. It was a one time thing, I'm probably never going to see them again, what would I even want to label something like this. ». He was right, it was a stupid thing for me to asked, but it was in the heat of the moment, my brain was upside down, I even asked « But, did you like... like it ? What did you guys even do? »

He didn't immediately answer. His face went blank for a second, like he was taking a moment to figure out whether or not he should even entertain my questions. Then he leaned back, his eyes avoiding mine.

It was clear he didn't want to talk about it anymore. The air in the room got thicker, and I realised how stupid I sounded, pressing him for details. But the more I tried to understand, the more my questions piled up.

I opened my mouth again, ready to say something else anything but Clay stood up before I could, not even looking at me.

« Look, I gotta go, I have to take a shower and get out of these clothes » he muttered like he'd had enough.

He ran a hand through his hair, visibly frustrated, then turned to head for the door.

« Wait » I started, but the words didn't come out right. « Clay, I... »

« Dude, don't. » he cut me off. « I just some me time, alright? »

He didn't wait for a response, walking quickly out of the room, leaving me in stunned silence.

I heard his footsteps fading down the hall, and then the front door shutting.

The room felt suddenly empty, like the air had been sucked out. I was left sitting there, trying to make sense of what he said, but the more I thought about it, the more confused I became.

I couldn't quite figure out how to feel...

I sat back down on the couch, still processing everything. My mind kept replaying the questions I'd asked Clay, the dumb things I'd said. I sighed, rubbed my face, and turned off the TV.

It wasn't like I was worried about Clay, more about how I'd acted. He didn't need my judgment.

Weirdly enough, I thought about what had happened with Logan a month ago and how I had no right to judge my little brother like that; especially since he was so straightforward about it while I had not even told him about the Logan episode.

After a minute of stewing, I stood up and headed back to my studio.