All The Bad Things

Luisa Perry

It was a bad idea. It was a very bad idea.

Why did I have to be brave for something so stupid? I should not have come to Vera Harlow's party. I shouldn't have snuck out of my house to be here.

All my life I have been a good girl. I am an obedient daughter. I am a helpful friend. I am a kind stranger. I am a responsible girl with good grades. My parents have high expectations for me. In my whole life, I have never done anything to disappoint my parents, although I have been disappointing myself all my life, who cares, right? As long as I am keeping the people around me happy, I am a good person.

Even when I am eighteen years old, I am unable to make my own decisions. Not only because I am not allowed to, but because I don't have a backbone. I never had a voice, so I forgot to speak. My father claimed that Luisa will be a doctor like me, so Luisa will be a doctor like her father. My mother claimed that Luisa looks good with long hair, so Luisa will not get a haircut. My parents think that the student at Luisa's school can be a bad influence on her, so Luisa doesn't have friends. The only friend I have that is approved by my parents is not truly my friend, she is just there to compete with me. I have been living under my parent's shadow for as long as I could remember, and I am sick and tired of it.

So, I decided to do something stupid. Just three weeks before summer break, Vera Harlow announced that she will be having a party at her house, I decided to go to it and when my parents refused to let me go, I did the very first bad thing of my life, I snuck out after my parents went to bed.

I was so badly craving to defy the rules, that I didn't even consider the consequences. Now here I was – at Vera Harlow's loud and drug-infused party with almost entire senior year gathered under one roof. When I first stepped inside her house, I didn't think there would be so many people. I didn't think they would be taking drugs out in open. I didn't think I would find half-naked men and women making out. This is not something I expected from a crowd of teenagers.

I learned a few things in the last hour.

One, Vera Harlow comes from a well-off family.

Two, a very friendly and polite Vera is a party animal.

Three, Blake West, the school's hot boy, is either gay or bisexual.

Four, her classmates take drugs.

Five, Vera Harlow is Aiden Harlow's younger sister.

And six, I somehow ended up in Aiden's room.

"What are you doing in my room? People are not allowed to be in my room." A very bored Aiden spoke while he had his laptop on his lap. While I was leaning against the door of his room that I just closed. I walked in thinking it was an empty room because it was so quiet and dark in her and all the other rooms of the house were occupied by the horny teenagers.

I couldn't move. Wide-eyed, I stared at the most beautiful boy I have ever seen. My heart skipped a beat. I was in Aiden Harlow's room. Aiden Harlow was a senior in our school, who passed school last year. He was the valedictorian of his batch.

Aiden Harlow was the heartthrob of our school. He has the typical bad boy look, but he wasn't anything he looked like. He was the teacher's favorite, probably because he was a bright student. Sure, he always had a scowl on his face – or at the time he would look very bored. I never saw him misbehave with anyone. I never saw him bullying anyone. He was known as a kind-hearted but scary at times bad boy.

Another thing that was very attractive about him was that he never whore around and was always reserved – although every girl at our school was dying to be with him. From what I remember, I never saw him with any girl in the school. There was a rumor that he already had a girlfriend outside of school and he was very committed to that girl. I am not going to lie, that rumor hurt me a little.

But who was I kidding, I never had a chance with Aiden Harlow – I didn't have a chance with the sluttiest or nerdiest guy of the school – Aiden Harlow was a far fetch so I just used to admire him from far. Like the rest of the school, I am sure he doesn't know I even exist.

"Please, leave." I blinked when I heard him again.

Aiden was sitting on his bed with his long legs stretched out and had his laptop resting on his lap. He was wearing dark grey sweatpants and a white oversized hoodie. His short brown hair was messy – like he just got out of bed or perhaps he has a habit of running his fingers through his hair. His hazel eyes narrowed down at me as my body refused to move. I am not sure if I was starstruck or just surprised, whatever it was – my body refuses to recover.

Aiden's dull expressions turned sour when I didn't move nor did I speak. He clicked his tongue, "How many times do I have to tell Vera to keep her friends out of my way?" Aiden mumbled agitatedly as he put the laptop on the bed and swing his leg down on the floor. That's when I noticed, he was bare feet – isn't it a little too cold for that? I didn't have much time to think about it as a very aggravated Aiden strode towards where I stood and halted a few feet away. He was tall, but not ridiculously tall. I liked that. "What is your problem?" He spatted.

My eyes widened when I saw his jaws clenched while his glare was sat on me. What is wrong with me? Why am I not moving? Why am I not saying anything? Come on, Lusia – speak. Speak! "I am not Vera's friend," were words that escaped my mouth.

Aiden narrowed his eyes at my response. The corner of his lips pulls upwards in confusion, "Then why are you here?" He question. His voice has gotten deeper, or was I just having a stroke? I couldn't tell.

I gulped. I soon lost the ability to form coherent words, "Uh – drugs, they – are – they are doing drugs down there," She pointed out.

Aiden stared at me. Aiden Harlow was staring at me. And then he blinked – wow, I was micro observing. He was silent for a few seconds before he spoke, "I meant, why are you here at Vera's infamous parties if you didn't want to get wasted?" He rephrases his question.

"Uh, she – invited me to come," I replied meekly.

Aiden raised his perfectly arched eyebrow, "I thought she wasn't your friend," he commented.

I nodded, "She isn't. She was just being polite, I guess." I said with a shrug.

He exhaled, "Well, that's Vera for you." He and walked back to his bed. He sat on it and stretched his legs out on the floor while he leaned back and rested his body on his palm behind him.

I nodded, "Yeah," I gulped as I fidget with my fingers. I was nervous. Normally, I would be nervous around anyone new, but this was nerve-wracking to be around Aiden Harlow.

He titled his head and squinted his eyes, "What are you doing in my room?" He asked after a small pause.

I looked at him and sighed. My feet finally decided to move as I inched away from the door. It was like my body was slowly waking up, or perhaps getting comfortable around him. The very first thing I noticed was how cold his room was. The air conditioner was blasting – it made me shiver slightly. I have never been a huge fan of the cold. I grazed my tongue between my lips, "I told you. I was trying to get away from everything downstairs." I spoke unclearly.

Then happened that I didn't think would happen. Aiden chuckled. It was such a rich and deep sound that escaped his mouth – it almost curled my toes. I didn't think I was so much into him until now, that I was around him – alone. "You are not Vera's friend. You don't like to take drugs then I presume, you don't drink either?" He questioned to which I shook my head. I don't drink. I never drank alcohol in my life. He nodded his head as he twisted his lips, "Alright, you don't drink either – then why did you come to this party?" He asked. "Did your friends force you to come here with them?" He added.

Why did I come here? I shook my head, "I don't have friends," I told him.

Aiden raised his eyebrow at me again. His gaze zoomed in – it was funny for his gaze was making my knees weak. I had no shame in accepting it to myself that Aiden Harlow was too hot for his own good. Of course, I would never say it to his face. The last thing I was is to give him an ego boost. "You don't have friends?" He asked again.

I don't know why I was being so honest with him. I shook my head, "I don't have friends." I repeated my words.

"So, you are here to make friends?" He asked. He seemed amused, but there wasn't a trace of a smile on his face. The way the corner of his eyes were wrinkling, I could tell – he was having fun messing with me. I wordlessly shook my head to answer his question.

"What is your name?" He asked next.

"Luisa," I answered softly.

He hummed, "Luisa," He called my name and I almost walked to him, but before my body starts to act on its own, I curled my toes and stopped myself. "You don't have friends. You don't like to take drugs or drink alcohol then why are you here exactly?" He asked before he squinted his eyes, "What are you trying to prove?" He added.

I gulped as I nervously glanced at my feet – although they were covered in ankle boots, they were still freezing underneath them. I looked back at him – his mouth slightly agape as he waited for me to answer. "I snuck out to be here," I told him the truth.

"Why?" He asked next.

"I want to defy the rules," I told honestly. I might regret opening my mouth in front of him, but right now it felt good to talk to him. "I want to defy the boundaries," I added in a whisper.

Aiden was silent for a minute. He slowly got up from his bed and walked nearer to me. With each step, he took towards me the louder my heart thump in my chest. It felt like my heart was in my mouth by the time he stood hardly a foot away from me. His eyes bored into mine – like he was trying to search for something in them. My mouth was dry. My palms were clammy. All of the sudden, the blasting air conditioner didn't seem like a bad idea.

Aiden slowly lowered his gaze – his eyes traced my clothes. It was a poor choice to wear a black t-shirt with a pair of faded jeans and black boots. I didn't know what to wear. There was no way I was going to wear a dress to my very first party, I didn't want to make a fool of myself. Most of the girls downstairs were dressed in slutty clothes, I don't even own clothes that small.

"You call sneaking out defying the rules?" He asked – his eyes were back on staring into mine.

I twisted my lips, "Yes, it was to defy the rules set for me." I answered truthfully. "It was more like tug to my boundaries," I added. Aiden closed mouthly chuckled, "Good girls don't sneak out after all," I shrugged – looking straight into his eyes.

Aiden stood still for a few seconds. It looked like he was thinking about something. He hummed before he smashed his thin lips together, "And who set those rules for you? Your parents?" He asked. I only nodded as my cheeks flushed. "How old are you?" He asked next.

"I turned eighteen two weeks ago," I answered.

He nodded, "And how do you plan to defy the rules?" He asked.

"I want to do everything I want to do that is considered bad – or the thing I was forced to believe were bad. I want to do all the bad things." I replied – my voice softened.

"And that includes?"

"It's a long list," I answered.

"Interesting," He mumbled. "Well, if you want to be bad – do it the right way," He winked.

I couldn't understand what he was trying to say, "What is the right way?" I asked him.

"You will learn," He shrugged while a small smirk played on his lips.

"I didn't know Blake West was into men," I inattentively decided to speak.

I have no idea why I was speaking my mind in front of Aiden. It has been two hours since I came to this party and I spent the last hour locked in Aiden's room. The room's floor was vibrating from the loud music they were playing downstairs. I could hear them dancing, yelling, laughing, and quite weirdly – moaning. I was trying to make myself believe that the thumping I was hearing was of someone punching the wall.

Aiden, who was watching something on his laptop with earphones on, glanced at me before he removed the earphones and spoke, "Were you saying something?" He asked.

I was sure that Aiden would kick me out of his room the minute he lost interest in me, but instead, he told me he would let me stay for a while if I promise I wouldn't talk to him or touch anything in his room. I should have thanked him and left, but I was too scared to get back home. I took a cab here, and riding back home on a cab so late at night scared me, so I decided to stay and think about what was I going to do next. How was I going to get home before my parents wake up?

I ended up sitting on a floor when there were many other options to sit on in his huge room, but I decided to aim for the floor for reasons I don't know. Aiden didn't object to it. He didn't even ask me to sit somewhere more comfortable. He let me sit on the cold floor. While I silently sat and deride myself for even thinking that this was a good idea, Aiden plugged in his earphones and completely ignored me.

It was weird, but even when he was silent I was getting used to having him around – despite having a huge crush on him, I wasn't a nervous wreck around him like I was an hour ago.

I heaved a sigh, "I said, I didn't know that Blake West was into men," I repeated without even looking at him.

Aiden screwed up his face into a frown, "Who the hell is that?" He asked.

I averted my gaze at him and squinted my eyes, "You don't know who Blake West is? He is like the most popular guy in our school!" I said and looked at him with my eyes widened like he was a crazy person.

"How would I know? It has been a year since I left school," He shrugged. "When I was a part of Bate High, Aiden Harlow was the most popular guy," He added smugly. I rolled my eyes at him. I am sure if I'd ask the newbies of my school, despite never meeting Aiden, they would know him as well. If I tell the truth, he is still very much popular in Bate High.

I didn't reply to him – nor did he look like he was in the mood to continue our conversation as he put his earphones on and resume whatever he was watching on the laptop. I glanced at him as he was completely engrossed by what he was watching on it. As the screen light hit his face, highlighting all the good angles, I wondered if he even has any bad angles. I tilted my head and kept staring at him.

After a couple of minutes, Aiden pulled out the earphone and slowly looked at me – meeting my eyes. Air caught in my lungs – cheeks flushed. All of the sudden, being surrounded by drunk and high teenagers didn't seem like a bad idea, but being caught staring at a boy did.

He opened his mouth to say something but halted as he squinted his eyes before he stared back at me for a few seconds and spoke, "Say – do good girls drink?" He asked.

I slowly shook my head. I was taught not to drink – at least not until I reached the legal age and even then never to rely on alcohol. It stops you from thinking straight, my mother says.

He chuckled, "How do you feel about breaking the second rule in a night?" He asked and get off his bed. He walked to the closet while my gaze followed him, not sure of what he was up to. He emerged out of his closet with a bottle of raspberry juice in one hand and a bottle of vodka in the other. He waved the juice box in his hand, "Just in case, you don't like the taste of vodka." He spoke.

I blinked. "You want me to drink alcohol?" I mumbled as I saw him walking toward me.

Aiden chuckled as he sat beside me while resting his back on the wall. Aiden Harlow was sitting beside me. The first thing I noticed was how good he smelt. He was the reason why his room smelt so nice. "I don't want anything from you," He stated. "I am asking if you would like to drink, if you don't want to then you can watch me drink or you can leave – it is up to you," He shrugged.

"Why don't you go down at the party and get yourself a drink?" I asked dodging the "you can leave" comment. I didn't want to leave – not yet.

"Why should I when I have it in my room?" He questioned me back. I looked at him open the bottle of vodka and drink straight out of it. I saw him flinch slightly as he gulped it down his throat before he hissed and chuckled. I couldn't tear my eyes away from him – it was weird and he might call me out for it, but I couldn't do it. His eyes were fixed on the bottle in his hand. He heaved a sigh and twisted his mouth, "You have a staring problem," He told me. I gulped and quickly looked away.

It was my cue to look away from him. I did hear him chuckle when I averted my gaze, but I didn't dare to look at him again – not at that moment at least. There was complete silence between the two of us. He took a few more shots of vodka while I silently sat beside him with my head bowed – I was pondering whether I should be drinking or not. I have already opened the door, I can't close – so what is the problem with me trying a little bit of alcohol tonight. Maybe I can have just enough to get tipsy and get home safely before my parents wake up and find me gone.

"Maybe, I will try some," I mumbled as I picked my nails. I chewed on my lower lip – I was slightly nervous. I might have never had alcohol before, but I am not stupid. I know the effects of it on you. I was nervous because I don't know what might happen if I got intoxicated. What if I say something stupid? What if someone takes advantage of me? I stole a glance at Aiden, who had his eyebrow raised at me. What if he –? I shook my head – no, I am sure Aiden isn't the one that takes advantage of gullible teens, it's not like he can't already have the girl he likes. He is Aiden Harlow after all.

I tried to reach for the bottle in his hand, but he was quick to withdraw his hand. I perplexedly looked at him, "You don't sound so sure. I am sorry – I can't give you any," Aiden replied.

I frowned at him. "I want to try it. I am sure I do," I pressed. I could the tip of Aiden's tongue peeking out of the corner of his mouth as he squinted his eyes. When I didn't look away from him. He heaved a sigh and hand me the bottle. My lips curled as I grabbed the bottle in my hand. Here we go. I was finally going to taste alcohol – much to my parent's disapproval. I held the bottle by the neck and was about to bring the rim to my lips when Aiden stopped me.

"Wait," He said. "It is your first time drinking. Mix it with some juice," He said as he waved the raspberry juice bottle in his hand.

My eyes went on the bottle in his hand, "But I want to try it as it is first," I emphasized.

Aiden looked back at me with a different look. He didn't look amused, nor did he look irritated. It was like he was trying to read me. He wants to know what goes on in my mind. As if he wanted to understand me. I wanted to ask him to let me know as well once he figures it out, because even for me – sometimes I am a mystery.

He slowly exhaled, "Okay, then. Try it. But do I slowly – a sip at a time. Don't try to gulp it down." He instructed. I rolled my eyes at him. It felt like my mother teaching me to drink.

I sighed and put the rim on my lips. I caught a whiff of it and it didn't smell too appealing to me, but never the rest, I quickly took a big sip – if not a mouthful. I didn't listen to him entirely and hurriedly tried to swallow it as its somewhat spicy flavor was burning my tongue. It was a mistake as it was now burning through my throat. I almost gagged and coughed.

"Oh God, why is – it burning?" I asked hoarsely as I tried to eliminate the flavor of my tongue. I did not care about its taste at all.

Aiden let out a soft chuckle. He knew this was going to happen, that's why he offered to try it with raspberry juice. As I was coughing, he put his hand on my back and slowly rubbed it. "Breath. It's fine." He mumbled as he leaned closer to me.

At that moment I forgot the flavor I was trying to get rid of – or how the alcohol was burning my throat. All I cared about was that Aiden was touching me. His hands were cold – I could feel the coldness through my clothes. I could smell him – he was so close to me and he smelt divine. I averted my eyes at him while he stared back at me with his amused eyes. Why did God make him so beautiful? I slowly blinked – I was aware that I wasn't breathing, but it didn't matter.

"You are not breathing," He whispered to him – the corner of his eyes wrinkled. He was amused.

I gulped as slowly let out a breath. I gulped and licked my lips, "I want to try it with juice now, please." I whispered back.

And that's how I got drunk. He gave me a glass with more juice and less vodka, but I was loving it, so I asked for more and when he laughed and told me that it was enough, I snatched both of the bottles from him. I stood on my feet and walked to the window. I opened it and was welcomed by a cold gush of air and loud music and distant chattering from the party that was taking place downstairs. I shivered as I emptied half of the juice from the bottle out of the window. "Hey!" I heard someone from down the window – I must have emptied it on someone's head. Oops.

I giggled and then filled the half juice bottle with vodka. "Oh no, stop it. You are already tipsy." Aiden tried to reach out to me, but I was having too much fun. I laughed and climbed up on the bed. I put the juice bottle, which was now diluted with vodka, and drank straight out of the bottle. "Luisa, step down. Now." Aiden sounded agitated with me, but I was too drunk to care.

"No, I want more." I objected as I took a mouthful of the drink. I heard Aiden curse under his breath before he climbed up on the bed as well and snatched the bottle out of my hand. "Hey!" I complained and tried to take it from his hand, but he stepped down on the floor while shaking his head.

"If I knew it would be this easy to get you drunk – I wouldn't have let you drink so much." He clicked his tongue.

"I don't think I am drunk enough," I shrugged and sat in the middle of the bed with my feet crossing over in front of me. "I am sure I can take more," I told him. I wasn't completely wasted, I was just drunk enough to feel lightheaded.

Aiden looked at me and twisted his mouth before he shook his head, "How did you get here, Luisa?" He asked.

I chuckled, "I like the way you say my name. Luisa." I chuckled again. I saw him running his slender fingers through his hair. "And to answer your question," I raised my index finger, "I took a cab," I giggled.

He shook his head, "I can't let you take a cab when you are drunk. And you snuck out, so your parents can't know that you are drunk." He spoke more to himself, "Fuck, what was I think?" He fisted his luscious hair. I love how thick they were – I wanted to run my fingers through them.

I saw him staring at me before he heaved a sigh and took his phone from the bed. He glanced at me before he dialed a number and put the phone to his ear. He waited for the other person to pick up while biting his lower lip – does he have to do this in front of me? He was making me feel like I have never felt before, or maybe it was the alcohol – whatever it was – I was loving it. I am sure I will regret it later, but for the first time, I didn't care for what will happen later.

"Hey, yeah – Hayes. Man, I need your help." Aiden spoke on the phone. Hayes. I have heard this name before – Hayes. "No, I am at home. Can you come to my house right now?" He spoke and then paused as he listened to Hayes. "No, I am not." Aiden paused and glanced at me, "Well, actually – yes, I am. But this situation is a bit different. I need you to give this girl a ride home. She is drunk." He paused. "No, she came to my sister's party." Pause. "I can't. She came alone and now she is drunk. I don't trust any of Vera's friends." Pause. "I can't. I drank a bit as well." Pause with a very adorable smile, "Thank you, man. I owe you." He spoke before he hang up.

"Whose Hayes?" I asked as soon as I saw him taking the phone away from his ear.

"Hayes will be your ride home," He told him. "Where do you live?" He asked. I was drunk, but not enough to forget my address, so I gave it to him.

Aiden then ignored me and took the alcohol and juice bottle back in his closet. He walked out and put the cushions, that I knocked down, back to their place and started to tidy up a bit. While he was walking around his room, I was admiring him. He was so handsome. I could never land a man like him. My eyes teared up a bit.

"I am scared," I whispered. My word stopped Aiden as he turned to look at me with his eyebrows knitted. I looked at him. "I will never find love," I added – making Aiden screw up his face. He was bewildered by my sudden prattling. "I will probably settle down with an accountant or a doctor because my parents will think he is the right person for me." A tear fell from my eye. "I will live a boring married life. I will live a married life with scheduled sex." I sobbed. Somehow my pain caused Aiden to chuckle.

"Don't laugh!" I cried. "I don't want to have scheduled sex, Aiden!" I sobbed. I will regret it tomorrow – I will so regret it tomorrow.

"Sorry," he mumbled. "But I am sure whomever you end up with will not have scheduled sex with you. Don't worry. You are overthinking," He tried to console me, but it didn't feel like he meant any of those words he said to me.

I don't know what was going on in my mind. It was a mess. I was crying. I probably had a pink nose, red eyes, and wet cheeks when blurted out. "Will you have sex with me?" I asked him.

Aiden's eyes widened, "What?" he asked.

"I don't want my first time with my husband or with a fiancé or whatever," I said. My heart was beating in my mouth because I was sure he was going to reject me.

Aiden looked stunned, but he slowly composed himself, "No wonder you are a virgin," He mumbled. He awkwardly scratched the nape of his neck, "You can have it with your boyfriend," He said to me. Even there wasn't much time in the room, I could tell he was flushed by my bluntness, hell – even I can't believe I was having this conversation with him. "Look, you are drunk that's why you are feeling like this," He added.

I shook my head, "I always feel like this. I am afraid to live a mediocre life."

Aiden took a step toward me, but still kept a good distance between us. "You will not live a mediocre life," He assured me.

I shook my head, "I know I will," I told him with misty eyes. "I don't care about losing my virginity to the person I love, because let us be honest – it isn't happening." I sniggered.

He knitted his eyebrows together, "What isn't happening?" He asked.

I shrugged, "I will never find true love," I spoke lowly – my heart was breaking in my chest.

"Why would you say that?" He asked lowly.

I sniggered as another tear escaped my eye, "How can I find someone who loves me when I can't even love myself?" I asked. Aiden stilled. He opened and closed his mouth, but no words came out. He paused and stared at me and as he opened his mouth to speak I cut him off, "So, will you have sex with me or not?" I asked a little impatiently. Why was I being so desperate? I saw one good-looking guy and I slipped – why was I being such a shitty person?

"I will do it," Someone else beat Aiden to it.

Aiden and I both snapped our heads towards the door. I didn't even hear someone opening the door. There stood yet another devilishly handsome boy with a leather jacket on and a white undershirt. He had a smirk on his face as he looked between me and Aiden. Aiden rolled his eyes, "Shut up, Hayes." He mumbled.

I gaped. This was Hayes. Hayes! This was Hayes Miller. Aiden's high school best friend.