All I Want For Christmas

1

MIRA

Waking up to the familiar buzz of my alarm, I kicked open my pink fluffy duvet and stretched my aching limbs. It was the first day in December and I had an exceptional expectation for the month.

Unlike the last five Christmases of my life, I anticipated a gift from Santa this year. I expected it to arrive from the fifteenth or twentieth; but then you never know.

I believed I had always been a good girl; stopped playing pranks when I was a eighteen, put in extra effort in the hospital I worked at and never caused problems for my family.

I was damn sure this gift would definitely come. My subconscious assured me the naughty list had nothing on me.

Climbing out of my single bed, I made it and waltzed through the adjoining door that led to my bathroom. I stood over the sparkly white washbasin and peered into the mirror.

My bright hazel eyes stared back at me, taking in my flushed skin and chapped lips. My red hair was not a bird's net and I was impressed- my training had turned out successful.

I hurriedly did the usual morning clean up and dressed up in a cute yellow cardigan made out of wool. I paired it with a short brown flare skirt and brown sandals.

Running a single swipe of my pink lipstick, I grabbed my stuff and dashed to the kitchen.

"Good morning, Ma and Pa," I greeted my parents who were already sat in the dining room to have breakfast.

"Good morning, Mira," they both chorused together and I kissed them both on their cheeks.

My younger sister was flipping pancakes in a pan. She had just returned from college for a long vacation. I walked up to her and placed my neck on her shoulders. She grumpily but playfully jerked my head away.

"Extra load," she grunted. "Sit and have breakfast."

I chuckled, "Come on. Why is your face all crumpled up this morning because you are preparing breakfast?"

She had not given me an answer, instead she gruntled her displeasure. My sister hated doing chores, unlike me who enjoyed doing them so much.

I took a pancake from the plate beside her and packed it in a paper bag. Putting it in my handbag, I bade my family goodbye. I would be late if I sat for breakfast.

I knew my best friend, Kathy would soon arrive so she could drive us both to the hospital in her car. A pink salon waited outside for me as I made my way out of the gate. I smiled at the human behind the wheel as I got in.

"This colour always blinds my eyes," I commented on her choice of colour for the car, like I always did.

"That comment always breaks my heart," she flashed me her dentition while I settled in.

She stepped on the gas and we hit the road. As we always did, she let down the roof of the car and blasted loud music.

No one would ever imagine, in their wildest dreams, that we both were professional nurses who should know better about the impact of noise pollution. We looked like teenagers driving into the night.

I believed we only live once and we had better make the most out of it and be happy.

The early December chills hit me as Kathy and I screamed the lyrics of What Makes You Beautiful by One Direction.

I inhaled deeply and exhaled. The air felt so good and did wonders to my lungs. My hair was in a tight bun, so thankfully the wild breeze would not make a mess out of it.

I hated my hair being a mess. That was why I had begun making a conscious effort to always put the mane in its place.

All I Want For Christmas by Justin Bieber and Mariah Carey played next. I bobbed my head to the music and Kathy drummed her fingers on the steering wheel.

"What do you want for Christmas?" Kathy suddenly asked out of the blues.

I smiled because I did not have to think about my answer. I knew just what I wanted and it was at the tip of my tongue when it rolled out. "I need a husband."

Kathy burst out laughing. "Need? Why the rush, babe? You are just twenty three."

I sighed. "Mother does not think so. She is always pestering my life."

Kathy scoffed. "No offense, sweetheart. But I think it stupid that a young woman full of dreams, like you, would want to dash them away to be with a man."

I chuckled. "None taken, my love. That is your opinion. And moreover, marriage seems wonderful. I want one like my parents."

"Sure." Kathy bit hard. "If your mum is the driving force, we could always share my apartment. You should not make your decisions based on what your parents think. You are an adult now, Mira."

"I will be fine, Kathy bear. Do not worry yourself so much. Like I said, the idea is not so bad. Just imagine someone you can lean on. And talk to about your day. And hug and cuddle." I could literally see it all play out.

I turned to see Kathy's deadpanned look directed at me and I burst into a fit of giggles.

"Right. Throw away all the special things we share to be with a man," she said, sarcastically.

"Do you want anything this year?" I asked, trying to deviate the heat away from me.

She fell silent. "I do not even like Christmas. I am sure you remember."

I laughed. She had been like that since I could remember us in diapers so I was not surprised at all. But I thought, just like me, that this year would be different for her.

We soon arrived San Francisco General Hospital and eased Kathy's pink baby into her assigned space. Kathy gunned down the engine. After the girl power handshake we had formulated when we were kids, we stepped out of the car.

I adjusted my skirt and Kathy laughed at me as she rounded the vehicle to the entrance.

"Is that part of you preparing for Santa's gift?" she queried.

I shrugged and walked up to her as we entered the building, "Well, you never know."

She shook her head fondly at me. "I would love to remind you that we wear uniforms here. This sexy outfit of yours would have to go."

I giggled. I knew that. But Santa would still locate me if he wanted to.

"You never know." I said again, as we trotted to the locker room to change.

2

MIRA

"How do you feel today, sir?" I smiled at the patient laying on the hospital. Her face was wrapped in white bandages, save for her eyes, nose and mouth.

She managed a smile at me. "It does not hurt as much." She informed me before casting a long glance at the door. "Do you know if my husband has visited yet?"

When I shook my head, her shoulders slumped. From her record at the foot of her bed, it had been fifteen hours since she exited the operating theater.

"I am sure he would come soon. I heard you were brought here on emergency," I tried to make her feel better.

She had been involved in a ghastly fire accident at home. From the reports I had heard, her husband was not in the country when a neighbour called the incident in.

As I checked her vitals, she asked me. "Do you think he would still want me?"

I nodded, unsheathing a needle to fill it with painkillers then injecting it into her drip pouch.

"You do not understand." She held my wrist, stopping me from moving and giving her my full attention.

"Would he still want me?" She pointed to her face, her voice panicky.

"Of course, he would." I assured her.

"What if he does not find me as pretty anymore? What if the doctors had not done a great job?" She referred to the skin graft operation she had undergone.

I flashed her a reassuring smile. "Our doctors do great at their job. Trust me, you will be fine."

She visibly relaxed, snuggling into her pillow.

The creaking sound of the door caught our attention. We watched as a fine young man waltzed in, holding a briefcase, a box of chocolates and flowers. His hair was tussled in every direction and his buttons were unevenly done.

He did not seem to care, however as he beamed at the patient. I stood out of the way so he would sit by her bed.

Worry laced his voice as he asked, "Babe. What happened?"

I realized that was her husband when I saw the wedding band on the default finger. He discarded the baggage in his grip on the bedside table to cradle her face.

The lady explained. "I had wanted to whip myself some pasta. I did not realize the gas had been turned on until I lit the lighter and it all exploded in my face. Babe, I look like a mummy now." She cried.

I quietly watched as the man kissed her bandaged forehead and brought her wailing form into his embrace.

"No, baby. You would always be my gorgeous princess. I got on the next available flight as soon as Natasha called." He told her. "I got you flowers."

The woman beamed at the bouquet of lilies and daffodils. They must be her favorite.

I watched her gosh over the pretty flowers whole her husband watched in delight. When he raised the chocolate box, I quickly intervened.

"She can't have anything yet until tomorrow, sir." I smiled sweetly. Too sweetly.

"Oh." He murmured slowly. "Sorry, sweetheart. You heard the good nurse. You will need to make do with this instead." He placed a peck on her lips.

It was these cute couple moments that almost turned me into a mushy puddle. Why would I not want something like this?

I would have loved to stay and watch the lovely husband and wife. But I had other things to do. So I dragged my feet away from my fantasy to the real world.

It was midday and apart from the cute couples from this morning, my day had just been stressful. Going from ward to ward, running in and out of emergencies and listening to the wails and cries of patients was threatening to tear my brain apart.

Do not get me wrong, I loved my job. But some days were like this. I was exhausted already and I had about five hours to go before my shift was over. I could not wait for the day to finally be over.

I trudged to Kathy's duty post at the reception to catch my breath and ask her out to lunch. I envied her. She only had to sit and not run around like me. I was almost there when another nurse called my attention.

"Doctor Einstein wants to see you immediately," she told me and hurried off.

I groaned and almost pulled my hair. "What did he want now? Did he not know it was lunch time already?"

I turned in the other direction and dragged myself to the doctor's office. Straightening my blue scrub, I looked myself over before knocking on his door. I heard a muffled answer and entered.

"Good day, Doc," I greeted and stood by his desk.

He was squinting through his thin framed glasses, studying a file when he replied.

"Good day, Nurse Mira. You can sit down," he pointed to the chair in front of me.

When I did, he continued. "There is a new patient I want to put in your care." He paused to see my reaction before going on.

"He suffers from a severe case of depression and has attempted to take his life severally. I need you to take care of him too. Watch out for him and make sure he takes his medications dutifully."

I nodded, letting the instructions sink him.

"Help him recover." He summarized. "I think you would do great with this. And that was why I called you up."

"Yes, Doctor," I replied and collected the file he held out to me.

"Do not disappoint," he dismissed me.

I stood up, holding the file to my chest. "When did I ever?" I grinned confidently, then left his office.

I read the file as I walked. It was a skill I had learnt not to bump into anyone as I did.

James Carter

Twenty seven

Ward 11. This was a special ward. Only VIP patients were admitted in this ward.

The details went on but I picked out the ones I felt were necessary at the moment.

I got to Ward 11 and opened the door to find a single patient laying on the only bed in the spacious room. He seemed to be peacefully asleep.

I walked up to him to get a closer look. My eyes traveled up the hospital gown he wore to his face.

I took a sharp intake of breath. His lashes lay lazily below his thick brows. His chiseled jaw looked like it could cut right through glass.

My eyes lingered on his lips, those slightly parted pink bows. I found myself wondering what colour his eyes would be.

My fingers itched to graze the brown mane on his head. To put them in place, as I always did mine.

I let out the breath I did not know I was still holding.

Could this be my Christmas gift? I did not mind having this one for Christmas.

3

JAMES

I snuggled into mum's touch. Her fingers played with my hair as we lay in the grass. The sun was a bright smiley face sitted in the clear blue sky.

Mum's hair danced to the warm gentle breeze. It had been a long time since I had seen her at peace. I did not wish for this moment to end.

"Mum," I heard my childlike voice squeak out.

It was at that moment I realized I was little James. The child with a mum. Before everything went south.

Whatever this was, I did not wish for it to go away.

"James. I have missed you, son," her voice sang.

I was sure my cheeks would burst from grinning so much. My small chubby palm held her chin. "Me too, Cherry." The name I fondly called her. I had missed saying that name.

Her green eyes reflected the sparkle in mine. "I have to go now, love. Be a good boy to your father. For me."

She had placed a kiss on my forehead and made to stand but I held onto her. "No. Not again, mum. Let me come with you." I pleaded, sitting up.

"It is not yet your time, love. There is so much more you still need to accomplish," she told me.

The sun's heat had increased in intensity, burning the grass around us away. I could barely feel my feet. Mum had even begun to fade away.

"No!" My shrill voice rung out. It was more of a command to my mum not to leave.

"I will always love you. Remember that, James." Her disembodied voice floated to my hearing.

My eyes peeled open, taking in my surrounding. Of course, I was in a hospital, again. I rolled my eyes.

I felt eyes at the back of my head. I did not bother to check who it was when I voiced out, "You are burning me with your stare. Did your mother not teach you not to stare at people?"

I heard the weirdo clear their throat and speak up. "I am the nurse assigned to you."

Dragging my eyes from the machine that will not stop beeping, I stirred to take in the appearance of the female nurse at the foot of my bed.

Her hair stood in a composed bun atop her head. Her hazel eyes would not meet my gaze, they focused on the writing pad in her hands instead.

"I would appreciate it if you would cooperate with me so we could hasten your healing process and you get to leave here as soon as possible." Her small lips moved. I watched every movement, enthralled.

I especially liked how her scrub hugged her perfect body, showing off every deep and curve.

Getting a grip on my racing thoughts, I reminded myself I should not get distracted. I had one goal, and no one was going to stop me from achieving it. Including this very hot nurse.

"What is your name?" I enquired.

Her gazed whipped to mine. There was an emotion in those eyes I could not fathom. "Mira. Nurse Mira," she breathed out.

I was certain that after now, I would not be able to get out of my head the soft voice. Or the contour of those well shaped lips that lifted in a smile.

"Nurse Mira." I spat out the name with all the bitterness I could muster, when in reality I wanted to moan it instead. I did not like this new reality. What was happening to me?

"I do not wish to recover," I confessed. "I need to die. Whatever you have planned out would be a waste of both our time. Please do not make it harder for me." I warned.

Her smile dropped as she gaped at me.

"Why would you want to die?" She asked, concern evidence in her voice as she approached the side of my bed.

For her, I wish it was that easy to open up.

"From what I have here, you have attempted eight times already," she continued, flipping the pages on the file. "Suicide is not the solution to whatever it is you are going through." She admonished me.

I barked out a sardonic laugh. She had no idea how many times I had heard that bullshit.

I shook my head and looked away from her, "You would never understand."

When she held my palm, I felt a jolt of warmth course through it. I jerked away from the contact.

"We can only help you if you let us in." She expressed, glancing at my withdrawn hand, confusion written all over her face.

"I cannot be helped," I spelt out.

"I will call your psychologist then. I am sure he will," she told me and turned to the door.

"Do not do that. I would rather be alone." I said, raising the duvet to my chest. "At least now I know my babysitter."

"Babysitter?" She stopped and turned to glare at me. "I am a professional nurse, mister."

"You trained for years only to end up a babysitter. Touche." I taunted.

It was a delight to watch her huff.

"Just so you know..." I droned on regardless. "...the last babysitter died while trying to prevent me from committing suicide. So do not try to stop me." I laid on my side and closed his eyes.

If she was smart enough, she would take my warnings seriously and ask for a reassignment. She was too much of a pretty face to die stopping me.

****

MIRA

Was it possible for one's Christmas gift to arrive on the first day of December? Was there even a set time for gifts to arrive?

Those were my first thoughts when I saw James.

It was so embarrassing to be caught red-handed staring that when he mentioned it, I coughed and quickly averted my eyes to the file in my hand.

I could not get out of my head how long and cute his lashes were, how his honeyed voice was music to my ears.

I had felt empathy towards him when I had read his file and found he had attempted eight times.

But now, as I walked out Ward 11, I wished I could strangle him myself. How dare he call me a babysitter?

I remembered the last words he uttered and shuddered, chills running down my spine.

What psycho patient did Dr. Einstein hook me up with? I hoped this dude would not give me much trouble.

I huffed and puffed and exited the ward, closing the door so forcefully that I thought I had removed the door handle.

I should tell Dr. Einstein I did not want this patient. I did not want to die yet. There was a lot I still needed to do in life.

But then I was a nurse, whose responsibility was to help people like him. This should be an experience for me. I would not back down now.

He could not be my gift from Santa, I told myself. Santa did not give out wrecked or broken gifts.

My feet had led me to the reception. I had not known until Kathy called out my name. I looked up at her and brightened up.

"What's up?" She asked me, coming to meet up with me.

"The sky," I replied and she laughed.

We sat in the lounge. "You look like you have seen a ghost." She implored.

"I just got one hell of a patient. He seems like a handful." I divulged.

"Tell me about it." Her ears perked as her interest piqued. And I did tell her about it.

Halfway through the conversation, we noticed most staff running towards Ward 11. Dr. Einstein burst out from his office and looked around. He approached me hurriedly when his eyes zeroed in on me.

"I asked you to look after a patient, did I not?" He asked me gruffly.

I swallowed. Was I in trouble? "Yes, doc. I checked up on him and went to attend to other duties of mine."

"And this other duty of yours involves you chit chatting at someone else's duty post, while your patient is at the verge of jumping off the hospital window?" He reprimanded.

"What?" But before I could ask further, he rushed off.

I looked to Kathy and she was already by my side.

"Come on, let us go," she tugged at my arm and we ran off.

We got to Ward 11 to find James lazily stretching on the window sill. He looked carefree, like he was having fun.

But we knew better. We all knew what this psycho was capable of doing.