After His Engagement, I Deleted Ten Years of Secret Love

For ten years, I lived in my guardian Ethan Hayes's home, loving him in secret. He was the sun I revolved around.

Then, he announced his engagement, introducing the woman he loved as my future female guardian, and spent an entire year showing me I meant nothing to him.

The night he came home drunk, he pulled me into his arms, murmuring another woman's name as his lips crashed down on mine.

The next morning, his eyes filled with disgust as he accused me of climbing into his bed.

"I never thought you would stoop this low," he said.

His fiancée cornered me, calling me shameless and threatening to throw me onto the street.

In that moment, a decade of devotion turned to ash. The love carved into my bones was finally scraped away.

On the day of his birthday, I packed one small suitcase and walked out of the house that had been my prison. I left a final drawing on his desk with a simple note: "Goodbye, Ethan."

Chapter 1

The day Ethan Hayes announced his engagement, I deleted the secret folder on my computer named "My Sun."

It contained ten years of my life. Every sketch I'd ever drawn of him, from the first time I saw him at eight years old, to the man he was now at twenty-eight.

The mouse hovered over the delete button. My finger felt heavy, but when I clicked, it was with a strange sense of release. A ten-gigabyte folder vanished in a blink. Just like the ten years of my devotion.

Wiped clean.

I picked up my phone and dialed my father's number.

The call connected instantly. "Ava."

"Dad, I got in."

A moment of silence, then his voice, filled with relief. "To NYU?"

"Yes," I said, my voice steady. "The art department."

"Good, that's very good," he said, the sound of a chair scraping in the background. "I'll have the funds transferred to your account tomorrow. The apartment is ready whenever you are. Just tell me when."

"Thank you, Dad."

"Don't thank me. This is what I should have done long ago." His voice was tinged with regret. "Are you leaving because of Ethan's engagement?"

I looked out the window at the manicured lawn of the Hayes estate. A place I had called home for a decade.

"He's getting engaged, Dad. I can't stay here forever."

A heavy sigh came through the phone. "He watched you grow up... I thought he... never mind. Leaving is for the best. Boston has been nothing but a cage for you."

I hung up and walked to the full-length mirror. The girl in the reflection had pale skin and eyes that were slightly red, but her gaze was calm. Chillingly calm.

I had loved Ethan Hayes for ten years. A love so deep it was carved into my bones.

Now, I was going to scrape it out, piece by piece, even if it meant flaying myself alive.

With the acceptance letter in hand, I walked to his study. The door was ajar. He was on a video call, his brow furrowed in concentration. He was always like this when he worked-impossibly handsome, focused, and exuding an aura that kept everyone at a distance.

He was my legal guardian. The man who took me in after my family went bankrupt and my parents divorced.

He had given me a home, but he had also built me a beautiful prison.

As if sensing my presence, he looked up. His gaze was cold, impatient. "What is it?"

Before I could speak, his phone rang. He glanced at the caller ID, and the ice in his eyes melted instantly, replaced by a tenderness I hadn't seen in a very long time.

He answered, his voice dropping to a low, gentle murmur. "Amelia."

Amelia. The name felt like a shard of glass in my throat.

"I'm still at the office," he said, a faint smile on his lips. "Yes, I'll be there. I miss you too."

I stood there, frozen, the acceptance letter in my hand turning into a worthless piece of paper. He had never once said he missed me. Not when he was on business trips, not even when I was sick in the hospital.

I remembered my eighteenth birthday, when I gathered all my courage to confess to him, handing him a drawing I had spent a month on.

He had taken one look at it, his face hardening. He tore the drawing in two, the sound ripping through my heart.

"Ava," he had said, his voice devoid of any warmth. "You are my ward. I am your guardian. Do not cross this line. You need to understand your place."

Then, a year ago, Amelia returned from abroad. He started spending more and more time away from home.

Just last week, he sat me down in this very study.

He looked at me with the same cold eyes as now and said, "Ava, Amelia and I are getting engaged. She will be your guardian's wife. I expect you to respect her."

He introduced the woman he loved as my future female guardian.

He had spent an entire year teaching me, with his actions, that I was nothing to him.

I finally learned my lesson.

He ended the call and looked at me, his patience clearly gone. "What did you want?"

I lowered my gaze, hiding the desolation in my eyes.

"It's nothing," I said softly. "I just wanted to say... congratulations on your engagement, Ethan."

I would grant him his wish. I would disappear from his world completely.

Ethan's brow furrowed slightly, a flicker of something unreadable in his dark eyes, but he said nothing.

He simply nodded, his attention already returning to the documents on his desk.

I turned and walked away, my back straight. There was no need to tell him I was leaving. He probably wouldn't care anyway.

Back in my room, I looked at the calendar. June 10th. My flight was in ten days.

Ten days to erase ten years.

I closed the curtains, plunging the room into darkness. Then I pulled out a large, empty suitcase from the closet.

One by one, I started packing away the things Ethan had given me over the years. A Tiffany necklace for my sixteenth birthday. A limited-edition art set for my seventeenth. A designer dress he'd picked out for a party.

My chest felt hollow, a dull ache spreading through my limbs. I bit my lip, forcing the tears back. Crying was a luxury I could no longer afford.

At the bottom of a drawer, my fingers brushed against a stack of leather-bound diaries.

I opened the first one. The entry was from ten years ago, written in a child's clumsy script.

"Today, a handsome big brother came to the orphanage. He said his name is Ethan, and he's going to take me home. He held my hand, and it was so warm. I think I finally have a family again."

I flipped through the pages. They were filled with him.

"Ethan taught me how to sketch today. He said I have talent."

"Ethan stood up to the bullies at school for me. He looked so tall and strong."

"Ethan promised he'd come to my high school graduation. He said he'd be the proudest guardian in the world."

The last entry was from a year ago, the day he announced his engagement.

"He told me not to cross the line. But Ethan, you were the one who drew the line, and you're also the one who keeps moving it further and further away from me."

My hands trembled.

With a deep breath, I started ripping the pages out, two or three at a time. The sound of tearing paper was the only noise in the silent room.

I ripped and ripped until my fingers were sore, until the diaries were nothing but a pile of shredded memories.

I stuffed the paper scraps into a garbage bag, tied it shut, and put it in the suitcase. I zipped it up with a final, decisive tug.

The door to my room opened. It was Ethan, followed by Amelia, who was holding his arm.

"Ava, we're back," Amelia said with a bright smile. She was beautiful, radiating a gentle and sophisticated aura that I could never imitate.

She handed me a small, elegant box. "I brought you some strawberry mousse cake from your favorite bakery."

My favorite. I was allergic to strawberries.

I looked at Ethan. He was looking at Amelia, his expression soft. He had forgotten. After ten years, he had forgotten something so basic.

A dull pain throbbed in my chest, but I managed a smile.

"Thank you, Amelia." I took the box.

"You two should catch up," Ethan said, not looking at me. "I have some work to finish."

He turned and walked toward his study, leaving me alone with his fiancée.

The weight of the cake box in my hands felt heavier than a tombstone.

I didn't sleep that night. I could hear the low murmur of voices from Ethan's study, followed by soft laughter that went on late into the night.

I sat on my balcony, smoking one cigarette after another, watching the glowing embers fade into the darkness.

The next morning, I came downstairs to find Amelia in the kitchen, humming as she arranged flowers in a vase. She looked radiant, like a woman deeply in love.

"Good morning, Ava," she said cheerfully. "I was just talking to Ethan about his birthday party next week. He's turning twenty-nine. We're thinking of a simple dinner with close friends. You'll come, won't you?"

Ethan's birthday. June 20th.

I remembered when I was sixteen, he'd promised me that for his thirtieth birthday, I would be the one to plan the entire celebration.

Now, I wasn't even sure I'd get an invitation.

"I'll see," I mumbled, pouring myself a glass of water.

Just then, Ethan walked in, dressed in a sharp suit. He went straight to Amelia, kissing her on the cheek. "Good morning."

His eyes briefly met mine, cold and distant.

"I'm heading out," I said, wanting to escape.

"Wait," Ethan's voice stopped me. It was flat, devoid of emotion. "The lawyer will call you this afternoon about your student visa. Make sure you answer."

I stiffened. He was already planning for me to leave the country for college. He couldn't wait to get rid of me.

"Don't cause any trouble, Ava. You're not a child anymore," he warned, his tone leaving no room for argument.

He took Amelia's hand, and they walked out together, their figures framed perfectly by the morning sun.

As their car pulled away, the sky opened up, and a sudden downpour began.

I remembered when I was fourteen, I forgot my umbrella and got caught in a storm. Ethan had driven all the way to my school, holding a large black umbrella, and wrapped me in his coat, scolding me for being careless.

Back then, his scolding felt like the warmest embrace in the world.

Now, he held the umbrella for someone else.

I stepped out into the rain, letting the cold water soak me to the bone. I walked without a destination, the rain washing away my unshed tears.

My phone buzzed in my pocket. I pulled it out. It was a notification from Instagram.

Ethan Hayes had just posted his first-ever picture. It was a photo of his hand intertwined with Amelia's. The caption was simple: "My future."

My fingers felt numb.

I opened the comment section and, with a strange sense of calm, typed out a reply.

"Congratulations."

It was the last piece of my heart I had left to give him. And now, it was gone too.