AMAANI

I was laid on my king size bed which was in the center of the room crying my heart out when I took a view on my room for the second time my Brown plaid sofa with heavy oak arms, a bookcase neatly stocked with paperbacks, family pictures on one wall, a china cabinet against another.Beautiful gilded mirror a four-drawer Mosler combination safe, concrete-and-steel, good for material up to top secret ,trestle table, lamps washed the window in a strong incandescent glow I sat right up on my bed and I started writing on my diary, "Like the sea and the sky, We reflect each other, you and I.

Past the moon and the stars, You promised you loved me that far. Now all the lies you've told Have burrowed a hole deep inside my soul. All those memories we share, All that pain I cannot bear. You broke my heart Finding pleasure in tearing me apart. Because of you, my happiness never lasts. Because of you, I can only find darkness in my past. You broke me down, Left me collapsed in agony upon the ground. You broke every promise that you ever made, But still for your sins I must be the one who pays. You stole my innocence that very day, Leaving me no other choice" When I was done I closed the diary and kept it on my four drawer combination safe mosler,I headed straight to the bathroom ,the bathroom was clean. The tub and the towels were dry. The medicine cabinet above the sink had a mirrored door and behind it were over-the- counter analgesics, and toothpaste, and tampons, and dental floss, and spare soap and shampoo and scrubs .i perfume wudu (ablution)and sprayed my prayer Mat and wore my full length hijab and poured my whole heart to Ar-Rahman "Oh Allah your my only dependent and I need you now the most ,I only cry out to you and shout out your name for your my only dependent ya Allah continue to lift Me above all Challenges of life & never impose on Me that which I have no Strength to bear. Ya Allah grant me your mercy and blessings forgive my Deceased & Grant me a Successful Ending. The last thing I never want to do is make mistake about choosing the right partner but I don't know if luck is on my side now.my mother has made my life a living hell and I'm trying my best not to let her words deceive me ,but her words keeps haunting me and I hate her for that wllhi ,i was only a child ,I was just 2years old ,how on earth I'm I going to live the rest of my life without her words haunting me.my father who I hardly talk to and get along with just because of my mother's words and my step mom who loved me so much and raised me with so much love and care but at the end I only gave her pain nothing but pain.my siblings are afraid of me ,but yes I'm jealous because they all make a beautiful team ,but I'm always locked up in my room and I hardly say a word to anyone ,I've experienced a lot of things at a very young age ,I Amaani Amin Nasir Galadanci has experienced nothing but pain and regret throughout my life and the only place I feel safe at is my diary,yeah my diary.

I woke up to the annoying sound of my alarm ,it's four in the morning ,I quickly rushed to the bathroom to perform ablution and prayed rakaatanil fajr then i prayed subh salad , I read as much pages as I can from the holy Quran,after reciting the last page of suratul ahqaf I closed my Quran fold my prayer mat and hijab then I retired to bed after setting an alarm for 8am. "Amaani Amaani...I could hear ya Zulaiha's annoying voice shouting my name from the corridor waking me up from my peaceful slumber....

I immediately got up from the bed and rushed to the bathroom I had a hot and quick shower,I got out and quickly wore my black plain abaya and tie my hair in a low bun then I tie my hijab and sprayed myself with my Issey Miyake's L'Eau d'Issey perfume and head straight to the kitchen to make breakfast for everyone ,I quickly made veggie egg muffins ,Bacon egg and cheese sandwich ,cinnamon roll ,tea and coffee ...I went to the dinning table and arranged everything.I went back to the kitchen and made myself an oatmeal and ran back to my room. I picked up my phone and surfed through Instagram and Snapchat replying all the new messages,when I saw Halima Muhammad Altata's message popped on my screen ,so I decided to call her and have a little chat with her. "I dialed Halima's number and she answered . "Babessss I missed you"came her sweet melodious voice. "I missed you too ajebo" I said in a teasing tone. "You know I don't like that name ko ?she said in a serious tone. "...And that's why I love calling you with the name" I laughed wholeheartedly. "Wareva "so when are we resuming school ? "Maybe next week "I said "Okay Allah ya nuna mana"Ameen. "Ameen ...So spill it out ?i said "He called me"she said almost shouting into my ear drum "You gullible fool ,love freak, abeg you wan burts my eardrum" I said "You don't know how it feels like to be in love babes" "Wareva I'm not interested you know" "Keep staying single for the rest of your life you Big fool ,keep rejecting proposals mumuuuu"she said in an annoying tone "Oooh here we go again with the scolding part no 2 ,arrgggh !!! "You know I have been through a lot and right now I'm not ready for this bedsides I'm getting married when I'm done with my service inshallah I still have a lot of time and we are just in our third year fa we have two more years to go"I said trying to sound casual . "When the husband come pls tell him to go sai kin gama service ko ?May God deliver you .but let me remind you ya zuzu got married when she was in her third year don't forget ,you know things ain't going well with you ,mama and Abbah but here you are dreaming about sai kin gama service ko?you know better ai I don't have to say the rest.I'm not a fool I knew you cried yesterday from your voice ,you can't act normal and think I don't know what's happening but we will talk about it when next we meet,don't cry kinji you will only make your migraine headache worst,take care of yourself ,I have to go now Ma is calling me bye. "Okay bye" I said in a shaky voice. "Ya Allah ya rabbil izah make this pain disappear ya Allah ,you are my only dependent with that I broke down crying my heart out until I slept off. " I woke up to the adhaan being called I performed ablution and started praying letting my heart pour to my lord ,I cried so hard in my sujood ,I found peace ,I found myself ,the pain has ease. I went straight to the kitchen and started preparing lunch ,I prepared my dad's favorite food Tuwo miyan kuka .i quickly finished and made my way to the dinning to keep everything set and ready . "Assalamualaikum"they said in unison "Waalaikumusalam"I answered with a big smile plastered on my face. "Adda Amaani "Ina wuni"came my siblings voice "Welcome back girls"I said while hugging them. "How was school?" Huh!stressful" came Yasmin voice "School was lit"Taslim Said and rolled her eyes. "Uhumm"I raised a brow teasingly. "And they all laughed at me" "C'mon go freshen up and come eat lunch"I said and went back to my room to pray asr . I performed ablution prayed and went to Abba's side to greet him hearing my siblings shouting and jumping I knew he is back. I bumped into Muhammad and he greeted me then headed straight to his room. "Assalamualaikum"came my small baby voice "Waalaikumusalam"Abbah answered and looked up at me with a small smile plastered on his lips. "Abbah Ina wuni?ya hanya ?it came all in one breath . "Alhamdulillah"he answered "Allah huta gajiya" I said and stood up to go to my room without waiting for him to reply me. I saw mama and we exchanged pleasantries then I headed straight to ya Zuzu's room . "How far"I asked "I dey"she answered "Abbah is back fa"I told her in a calm manner. "Okay,I will go greet him now after that I'm heading home" she said after putting on her hijab . "Okay tooh..my regards to my little babies Affan and Aisha"i said with a little smile,I was about to go out when she stopped me . "Okay inshallah Zasu ji, uhmmm are you sure your okay?Cx your eyes looks a little puffy "she asked. "I averted my gaze immediately and looked down,yeah just a little headache . "Tooh Allah sawake,take your medications dai ,I know you hate them..y.ehnmm did you talk to your mum?she added "Our mum"I corrected "Yeah yeah whatever"she said sounding almost annoyed . "It's been ages I haven't called her and she didn't bother calling me too"i said with a straight face. "Mmmmm..you sure you both are good? "Yeah yeah, we far from good"I said "Wareva ,it's up to you two ai kun fi kusa.she said making me pissed off. "I shrugged"and left the room without giving her a reply. I went straight to my room I freshened up ,dried my hair and tie it into a low loose bun and robbed my Green apple slices body lotion and wore my Roller Rabbit Hathi Sleep Pajama and sprayed myself with my best perfume Britney Spears Women's Fantasy Eau de Parfum,ooh how I love the smell of reminiscent of cotton candy and marshmallows the light and sweet scented smell of this perfume...I sprayed my prayer mat and prayed magrib salah,I recited the holy Quran as usual,I closed my Quran hearing the adhaan been called i prayed isha,did my azkhar and headed to the kitchen to wash the dishes when I was done I bid everyone good night and headed to my room,I layed on my bed,picked my phone from my side drawer and surfed through Instagram...I replied some few messages offed my phone ,set my alarm ,said my sleeping azkhar and sleep took me off .

*******

Two days after

"Assalamualaikum"I said in my sweet calm voice "Waalaikumusalam"came my dad deep voice "Abbah an tashi lafia? "Lafiya alhamdulillah"he said "Mashallah,Abbah I'm going back to school on Saturday inshallah"I added. "Okay Allah ya kaimu ....do you need anything?are you done with your shopping ? "Aa I don't need anything ,am almost done with my shopping" i said my eyes still fixed on the rug. "Okay tooh ,your driver will drop you to school ,you should make sure your done with everything before Friday and you should leave as early as 7:00am you know the road to Abuja is not good. "Okay inshallah,nagode Allah ya Saka da alkhairi. "Ameen. He answered. I stood up immediately and left ,I went to mama's side,I greet her and told her I was leaving for school on Saturday . "Do you need anything ?Are you done shopping?she asked looking at me straight in the eye. "I averted my gaze immediately and replied her ,no I don't need anything,I'm almost done shopping ,I'm going to ya zulaiaha's house now and then I will head to shop rite and finish doing all the necessary shoppings,Halima will be joining me. "Okay toohm ki gaishe ta and my grand kids too. "Inshallah ,Allah huta gajiya"with that I left to go and get dressed . I dressed into a black and white palazzo trouser and a white top then I threw my black kimono which has a dotted white all over ,I wore it on top and pinned my hijab ,I slipped in my jimmy choo flat shoe and my Gucci Quilted shoulder bag with my yazole flower quartz watch on my left hand i headed outside.I called my personal driver Audu and we headed straight to ya Zuzu's house. "Assalamualaikum"I said pushing the door "Walaikumusalam..what a surprise came ya Zuzu's voice. "She hugged me and I hugged my two little cuties. "Anti amished you ..they pouted "Ayy I missed you too sweethearts come here" I said picking Affan up to my shoulders. "Look what I brought for you ...I said raising the chocolates up for them to see. "Yayyy ...they said in unison I gave Aisha and Affan the chocolates and they ran to me hugged me and pecked me on my cheeks before running to there room saying mummy will not let them eat all....ooh how I love this kids. Ya Zuzus am going dama I came to tell you I'm going back to school on Saturday ne"I said standing up to leave . "So soon"she said in a sad voice. "Halima must be waiting for me we are going for shopping ...my regards to ya Khalil. "Inshallah ..safe trip Babess. "Okay bye !she walked me up to the door and we drove off before she headed back inside. "By the tell tale ping of the notification I knew it was a new message ,I quickly looked up to my screen and saw a new message from Halima saying "Hello dumbo!where are you ?anyways meet me up at the new restaurant i will be waiting for you...pls be quick it's getting late. "I didn't reply her message knowing am at the gate of shop rite. I quickly went up and to my surprise I found my girl with her man being all lovey dovey...I smiled at the site ,they didn't even recognize I was standing there for almost about 2 minutes ,I cleared my throat and they all turned up to look at me. "Hello I said raising my hand" "Amaani" finally your here. "She said while standing up to hug me....hey hey sit quietly" I said pointing at the chair. "I exchanged pleasantries with Farouk who has been staring at us with a huge smile on his face ...seems like he's enjoying our little drama...came my inner conscience. "I'm gonna leave you two here,I will be back in an hour"I said and headed to the shopping mall"I picked a basket and headed inside where all the girly stuffs are...I packed some sanitary towel,panty liner and some inner wears for me and Halima ,I then headed straight to buy some chocolates and cookies for us ...when I was done I went straight to pay the bills . "I handed the cashier my card but before he could collect it ,a young man looked nothing short of 25 summers handed him his card. "I looked up immediately and told the cashier to use my card, when I heard farouq's voice telling the stranger .... I'm here with her young man and then he handed his card to the cashier. "I and Halima stood there staring at them blankly,when I heard the stranger called farouq's name in surprise. " looked like they know each other"came Halima's voice. "Yeah yeah whatever ,the guts of this guy make me wanna throw up ,how dare he?halima was just laughing at me as we made our way to the car,seconds later farouq came out with the shopping bags in his hands and the stranger tail behind him. "He handled everything to my driver" and then I thanked him,I can still feel the strangers eyes on me. "How disgusting"came my inner conscience. "Babeee"came farouq's deep voice. "Meet my friend Aymaan" "Hello he said waving his hands at I and Halima" "Hi" Halima said raising her hands . "Uhmmm I'm so sorry Mi lady I didn't mean to"came his deep husky voice"I almost flinched he's voice is scary and full of confidence. "Raising my head up ,I took a glance at him for the first time,he was wearing a white spandex tank top and a blue jeans trouser ,he's a black handsome with brown curly hair ,light brown eyes ,he's kinda tall and he has a long pointed nose and a muscular body not too muscular thou ...huh!Mashallah ,not bad came my inner conscious again"I didn't bother to reply him ...I turned to farouq . "Uhmm farouq I'm going it's getting late,ajebo are you coming with me or your boo ?came my calm voice. "Nah lets go ,I think this two need to catch up" "Hey babe,you know I'm gonna miss you so much"she said making us laugh . "Yeah babeee,imma miss you too Bebe"he winked at her. "Okay imma go inside the car I can see you both can't get enough of yourself ,Altata two minutes ,I'm giving you just two minutes then come drop your fine ass let's go"I said in a serious tone ,without waiting for her reply I entered the car and sat down.