A tale of an arranged marriage

The duty of the only child is more than you can imagine. If it were that I was the only child by accident, then I would've struggled with all of my heart and maybe all I did would've been spiced up with smiles from the fact that I do what I want plus what my parent required from the only child. But me being the only child was their doing and it was on purpose, nothing hurt than knowing that what they did to me was on purpose. I lived my life with devices as my best friend and although they thought they were paying much attention on me, they were actually looking after themselves.

Well, I've grown up. Each day I grow to forgive them and I found the peace in being alone. So I grew up to find more comfortable and interesting strategies in being on my own, and I can never call it loneliness. The peace I get from my alarm each day, my morning prayers alone with me pouring my heart to God, my drive to work with a beautiful music or voice from the radio, and me finally at work, listening attentively to my receptionist, working on something new or having a good argument and mind pouring activity with my employees, and although I got many negations from them, I was their boss, whatever I said stood and if it failed or it turned out a success, I didn't mind taking the credit. Well I must appreciate my parent, however they trained me helped me become a man with wide, exceptional imaginations. I was too engrossed in my work and the future of my company that women were never my thing. Ella had told me in secondary school that I was very cute.

"But you're weird" she had added in a pout. "But I like you anyway"

As much as I liked her first comment, the second had spoilt her third sentence. I thought I was unique not weird.

"I think you're weird too" I told her and her face gave out as output a confused frown. "And I don't like you"

So many people heard me and my fame spread, and girls backed off and I was cool with that. In the university I held to my pastor's advice, I stood out. Standing out was my profession anyway but I put in more effort at the university. I was always in the library or at the cafeteria. I avoided friends that were not like me and I graduated with a first class result in Computer science. So you can imagine. With my life style, I'm supposed to be shy but I'm not. I think I'm a perfectionist, I want things exactly my way and when I don't, I end up doing it myself. Well my life was bright and I was living for myself until my mother showed up in my office on my thirty fourth birthday morning. She didn't wait for my receptionist to inform me she was around, she just pushed my office's door open and barged in like I owed her something. I stood up as a form of respect although it was out of enthusiasm.

"Happy birthday sweet" she said with opened arms then she threw her bag on my table and a small wrapped box. She reached for me and hugged me.

"Thank you" I said after she had released me from her hug. I as well organised my shirt she had rumpled then I pushed my glasses up the bridge of my nose for it to settle there, then i took my seat and expected her to do the same-although opposite me. My mother liked to talk and I am sure it is a normal duty for every woman to talk excess. I was patient to hear from her, if I complained, I'd just be digging a pit of sermon for myself.

"Here is your present" she said as she stretched out the small box to me. "Open it" with that she sat down and crossed her leg. Her intense look at me made me sense something strange, I knew my mother was in for trouble. "Go on, why are you looking at me? Open it"

I opened it, and what I saw made me look back at her in confusion. It was a ring and a piece of paper.

"Thank you" I said sarcastically. "But I don't..."

"Read the note" she urged with a relaxed expression on her face.

"Get married" I read

"Yes. Get married" she repeated then she sat up straight and held my hand. "This is the best gift I have ever given you. I and your father have been worried. We didn't even know how to approach the situation. I had to take the bold step, we are worried"

"So you gave me a ring and a piece of paper as a..." I tried saying with my eyes analysing the two things.

"Yes. It's too big for words. With that ring you will engage the lady. I know you have someone" she said in an anticipating smile. "What are you waiting for? Men wait to be rich, you have the money and you're not getting any younger you know right?"

"mommy please." I pleaded. I couldn't believe that was her issue when I had a lot of things on my Head.

"Please what?" She asked in shock, with narrowed brows. "Engage the lady this week and bring her to us. We've waited for so long"

"Mommy there is no lady" I said and it seemed like I slapped her. Her face turned red for a while then it straightened, I knew she viewed my words in another dimension.

"I know it's not easy to keep a woman. I mean we women have a lot of problems, we want the perfect man and everything but it's up to you to tell her no man is perfect. Then say some promising words to her. That was what your father did to win me" she blushed. "So you know, I understand. But you can win her heart back with this ring"

I made the ring roll to my mother on the the table then I turned to my laptop and positioned my glasses well in front of my eyes. The silent treatment I gave made my mother confused, I could see her confused face partially. "What is it? Did the both of you break up? Did she break your heart? Don't give up on marriage? Maybe she was never God's will for you, you'd find the right one..."

"Mommy there was never anyone" I said in frustration. The thought of a common talk active woman breaking my heart vexed me. "I can live without a woman. I've been living..."

"Don't you even think of it" she barked. "What are you thinking?"

The rest of the morning and her presence was a sermon. She moved from how I'd be lonely to how I'd miss every good thing then to how I won't have children and to the main point which was how much she needed a grand child.

"You are our only child. Where else would we get a grand child from if not from your loins?"

"So that is it? This is the real reason"

"And I always wanted a female child but because I and your father agreed on one child, I lost the chances of having one but if you get married, your wife would be like my daughter"

I sighed roughly.

"Above all, I don't want you to be lonely. Forget the daughter talk and everything. I need you to have a life partner"

"I've heard you" I assured. "Bye mom, have a nice day"

"So...you'd find a woman this week?" She asked with wide eyes but I frowned in shock.

"How am I supposed to do that?" I asked in confusion and was surprised that her response was a smile. "I can start searching next year" I muttered.

"God forbid" she rejected. "That is why you have me. Relax, I will search for you. I have nothing to do, I'm idle. Why would I bring up an idea if I have no solution. Before your thirty fifth birthday, this whole issue will be settled" she assured.

I was not sure of everything my mother introduced that day but one thing I was sure of was that I could always find a way out of every situation I didn't want. I so much believed in my self. It was good that my mother did not bother me for a long time after our discussion, I assumed she was busy searching for the perfect woman for her son, so I didn't bother. My father did not leave himself out of it, he made out time to meet with me, that week was like the most ridiculous week of my life. I had my parent's trimming up my work and personal time, I couldn't breath, they refused to give me space. With time, my Saturdays were dedicated to my mother and one woman or the other. It took her about a month before she introduced the first woman to me. I couldn't keep her name but I could not forget the fact that she stood up and left I and my mother when she heard me say I was not interested in her.

"Femi!" My mother shouted with watery eyes when the woman left. "What is wrong with you? Do you know you hurt her?"

"Mommy I'm sorry but I don't like her. She looks like a prostitute, with the too much lipstick only God knows what she is covering"

My mother was annoyed but I hoped she would recover because I had committed myself to repeat the same words until my parent got weary of me and let me live my life just the way I wanted it. It took my mother quite a while to bring another lady who was seductively smiling and displaying madness in front of me, I regretted calling the first one a prostitute, the second was deep in the job.

"Mommy where do you get these women from?" I whispered to my mother while the lady made herself comfortable with her drink. "What kind of a woman is this?"

My mother did not wait for more, she did not bother introducing the lady, she got upset and took the woman away. She called me after some days to tell me I was not appreciative and the women were daughters of her friends.

"Mommy you know you're doing this for yourself" I accused when I knew I should apologise "I honestly don't need all these advert, I'm not buying"

"Shut up!" My mother said to me. I knew she said the two words in tears. I had not heard those words in a long time. "Whether I am doing it for myself or for you, you will get married" with that she hung up. I sighed and threw my phone on the bed, I needed to bath and hurry to the shopping mall, I had a lot to buy that day. How could I care about how my mother felt concerning me getting married? She was just the one bothering herself for no reason at all.

"I think your mother knows something you don't know" Richard, my friend from the university told me that afternoon. He was married with two kids and he was just my age.

"What do you mean? I don't understand" I said in confusion as I watched him sip with his straw.

"She's so pushy and it seems like she won't give up, I think she wants the best for you"

I rolled my eyes at his opinion and rested my back on the chair's back. Richard had no idea who my mother was, if he did, he'd know that she was not worried. As far as I was concerned, I knew my mother was under pressure. I knew one of her show off friends had done something to upset her and she was passing it on me for being her only child. If she had more children, I bet she'd have no business with me.

"So what do you think I should do?" I asked Richard although I knew his suggestion will not satisfy me.

"Give in" he said and I nodded. All Richard wanted was for me to be like him. Maybe he wanted us to have a family gathering once in a while, Richard was kind of emotional, I think he had a little trait from his mother. I mean what kind of a serious man will want to take a vacation with a woman and some children, laughing, eating, playing...the thought disgusted me. I nodded in deceit, Richard was not an advicer fit for me. He couldn't ever be in my shoes. He was not the only child, wasn't trained as I was, could never be depended on as the only child for "only child" tasks, so he could never give me the perfect advice.

"So you'd do it?" He asked like he knew I won't.

"No" I replied honestly. "That would be life long regret. My mother can't dictate my life, she was never interested so why now?"

Richard's way of looking at me cooled off my anger.

"It's alright" he said and then he changed the topic. Months passed and my mother failed, I wanted her to give up but it pained me that she wouldn't. Whoever was pushing her to keep forcing me was a wicked person, she looked drained up because of me but I couldn't feel guilty, I did not beg her to do any of the things she was doing, neither were they for my good. One Saturday afternoon she came alone and refused to eat. Her weariness scared me. She looked like a dog that had wandered away from home. Like it had been beaten by the rain, scotched by the sun, slapped by the wind and had decided to settle out of weakness on the dried ground. Yes, I am exaggerating but she looked horrible. She looked like herself inside the house after an unwilling exercise. No makeup, no dangling earnings and jewelries and her head was totally covered, I had to ask her how her textile business was going and she only nodded. I was even more scared when she refused to eat.

"Why?" I asked.

"I won't take long" she said. "My son, you can't keep on telling me you don't like these ladies when you do not know them" she said. "Don't judge a book by it's cover"

I tried my best to be silent and watch my mother submissively and attentively.

"All the ladies I brought are from good Christian homes and are virgins, how could you reject any?"

I thought it was a rhetorical question so I just played with my thumbs and acted repentant.

"What is your taste in a woman?" She asked but I was lost. I looked up at her with narrowed brows for further explanation. "What is your taste in a woman?" She asked again but I hesitated. She started looking like she would burst from panick. "Omo mi. Is it true? Are you gay?"

My mouth dropped at the words. I was short of words. As much as I was not really interested in women, I was not interested in men, I am not abnormal. That was the peak of all insults I had ever received in life. I knew if I stood up and left, I would look like I was hiding something, I knew if I kept quiet, I'd somehow look stupid, I knew I owed my mother no explanation or defence for myself but I took my glasses away and laughed shortly and politely.

"Mommy, I am not gay" I plainly said with a smile. "I'm not just interested in the problems women bring on men. No offense"

My calm explanation made her calm.

"It's not all women that bring problems on men. That is total negation from what is in the Word of God Femi. The Bible says that, he that finds a wife, finds a good thing. So let your aim be on a wife not a woman. When you start seeing a woman as a wife, you find a good thing but as long as she remains a woman to you, you'd be blind to see anything"

She made sense but that was not what was in my mind. I knew my mother would need proof that I am not gay and I had no choice but to end up failing and let her win. Wow! For the first time. I watched my mother and her lips as they moved but my ears grew deaf and blocked, I could hear nothing. All I could do was make plans in my head. Plans of how I would escape, plans of the word to say but I found none.

"This is what we would do. I have been placing closed books on the table for you to select from but now, I would give you the book in your hand"

"I don't understand" I said sincerely.

"I am on a fast for your sake. I want the perfect lady for my child. By the special grace of God, I will get her and I will not show her to you until your wedding day"

"What?" I exclaimed in unbelief.

"Yes. Since your eyes cannot accept any of them I have been bringing. I will give one of my designers your number, he would work your clothes out and that of your best man. Don't worry, I will take care of all the preparations-it's just that i'd need one of your credit cards for it- and then i'd get back to you after I have discussed the date with the bride's family"

"This can't be happening" I muttered. I had been watching her speechlessly and in a gape. She scoffed.

"It is happening. Once I find the lady, I will inform you" she looked excited at her idea. "Now I can have peace from all these stress, thank God"

"Mommy there are other ways, how would you say I won't see the woman till the wedding?"

"My decision is final, since you don't know how to pick a woman by yourself"

With that she stood up and left me all alone in confusion. I never had the intention of being cruel to any human being but with the thought of living with a strange, talk active, emotional being, with time I realised I had no choice. I would accept it, my hands had been forced open but if it was in my hand, it would be my choice to either squeeze it like a wasted paper or hold it carefully like an egg.

Beyond shocked, agitated, surprised and maybe offended were the terms I can use to classify how I felt when I saw the woman my mother chose for me. She was not fair skinned neither was she dark, she just had this "I'm not sure where I stand" complexion, i thought maybe she had tried different products. she was slim-slim and slender, I perceived she didn't like food or maybe she was too lazy to ever cook for herself.

She walked in bits, i wondered if she was scared or if it was the method of walking for the occasion or maybe the breeze from the fans in the church were threatening to push her away and she was earnestly waging war with them. She had some ladies following her from behind but my attention was on her. I had accessed her bodily features from afar but it was a struggle to tell what her face looked like since it was behind the veil. She stopped just in front of me and I knew she was looking at me and had been.

"Are you the bride or should I keep waiting for another?" I asked and she laughed childishly like I was offering a joke, maybe she had given me her own views too in her mind, maybe she was delighted to meet me, maybe it was the best day of her life and the best thing that had ever happened to her. The pastor started talking while I watched her in a frown. Once, I turned to the congregation for my mother; She was whispering something to someone, I wanted her to see me and how disgusted I was with her choice. After much talk and a little response, i was asked to remove her veil but still, I could not see her face because she was short and she faced downwards or was it my chest she was looking at? The pastor asked us to walk down the aisle together, it was strange and annoying for me. I was walking side by side with a strange lady, a lady that I did not know. I wondered how she sounded, she had only said "I do". I thought she was very emotional because after she laughed at my joke, I didn't see a dash of smile on her face again. During the reception I sat beside her and watched the people that had attended. Most of my employees were present and many other people I did not know, Richard and his family were having a good time, and Desmond my best man was nowhere to be found. Who could I talk to? I just busied myself with my phone and started making calls I did not plan to make. I stood up from my seat when the noise was too much and found a noiseless corner to proceed my call. I heard the M.C saying a lot of things, including calling me to the dance floor with the woman but I ignored them. I knew they were looking for me but I stood firm and continued my call. The M.C was finally wise enough to invite everyone to the dance floor. When I entered back inside the wedding hall, most people were on the dance floor but the bride wasn't. She had a woman beside her, maybe the woman was consoling her. I paid my attention on them and could hear their conversation.

"I don't know if I can do this" my supposed bride said. "I'm freaking out! I thought I'd be okay but I don't think so. This is like the biggest strangest thing of my life" she looked so scared and her little voice was shaking.

"Don't sound like that" the other woman consoled.

"Don't sound like what? I'm in for big trouble"

"It could be better than you think"

Their words were somewhat confusing, but I let them speak anyway. My bride put her face in her hand and shook her head continuously. She said nothing more so I moved to them to register my presence.

"I'm sorry" the lady with her said when she noticed me but I only nodded in response like a gentle man and waited for her to stand and leave before I sat down. With the way things were, I knew I could be nice, I knew I could show a little kindness to the depressed woman by telling the M.C to round up with all the fun he was catching, after all it was a Christian reception, it should be brief and solemn. I called one of the ladies that was sharing drinks around and I could partially see the bride looking at me in enthusiasm. I ignored whatever I noticed she was doing and spoke to the lady.

"Tell the M.C to round up" I said then I thought that I should back up my statement with a reason. "Tell him my wife is not feeling too well" I added and smiled at my self for the job well done. I didn't lie did I? I mean she was holding her head a while ago and what could that mean? It meant that she was tired and had headache, well even if I lied, I did the both of us a huge favour. When the lady left obediently I settled on my seat and watched the girl do what I ask her through my glasses but just then I noticed the bride-my bride was still looking at me, I turned and for the first time, I saw her face properly.

"I am not feeling too well?" She asked in a slight frown.

"Really?" I said like I didn't know it was a question. That was our conversation. I knew she would've replied me but then the M.C distracted her.

"We give God the glory for everything" he said "and we declare this reception closed. Make sure you don't leave without dropping your gifts and taking a drink and food along with you"

I saw many surprised faces in the crowd but many people seemed like there was nothing wrong. I know deep down people wondered what was wrong, I knew the wise ones could sense something off but I was not concerned, I wanted to be out of everything I had started my day with. I couldn't really be out though, I didn't realise the real deal until my supposed bride sat inside my car with the escort of her friends and well wishers and maybe her family.

"Your things are in my car" the same lady that was consoling her said through the window. "Should I transfer them to the boot or should I follow your car?" I realised the question was to me.

"Please follow the car" she rather answered and I couldn't say a word. "Sorry I'm stressing you"

"It's okay" the other woman said with a smile and soon I started driving carefully in order not to loose the car following my car.

I couldn't believe that the whole thing had not ended, that the occasion was just the beginning, that the woman was going to live with me -it all skipped my mind. I was boiling inside but I kept still, I was restless as I continuously thought of stopping the car and telling her to come down but I couldn't just do it, it was an impossible thought. When I stopped the car, she didn't move even after I opened my door. I wondered if she wanted me to be stupidly gentle to open the door and maybe carry her out. Well for me, it was a good thing that she would not move, at least if she made my car her room, I didn't mind buying another one no matter what it'd cost me or rather I could use a taxi in joy for all I could care.

I came down from the car and so did her helper come out of her own car. They were not my business, I wanted to bath and rest from all the stress of the day.

"Loveth" I heard someone say as I walked to close the gate. I turned and noticed that It was the new attachment in my life. She had come out of the car and was beckoning on her assistant who was Loveth. "Thank you. Just help me, let's bring down the things then you can go. I'm sorry for stressing you" she said.

"You're not stressing me" Loveth assured in a smiley way. "If I had my way, I would stay here with you till we are done arranging your things"

"That won't be necessary, you know you're travelling tomorrow, you need to rest" my attachment quickly said. I sense she knew that I was listening. I hesitated at the gate on purpose, I wanted to hear all but they stopped talking and just silently brought the things down. Her things were many, I didn't know if I should help or if I shouldn't, I just made myself busy with the gate, idly doing nothing and when I was tired of being a fool, I left the gate and walked to my car. I opened the door and took out my drink from the car, Loveth was done helping her by that time then I took my house key out of the car to open the entrance to the house. As I opened it, I noticed someone walking towards me, I turned and saw Loveth smiling and looking up at me.

"Can I get the keys for the gate?" Loveth asked me and then I realised that I shouldn't have locked the gate.

"Oh!" I exclaimed foolishly. "I'd just help you open it"

"Thank you" she said with a smile. As I opened the gate, she said few words to the woman she was leaving behind then she bade her goodbye and started the ignition. I noticed how sad the other woman became as loveth drove out but she tried to cover it with a smile. While I closed the gate, she gradually and dependently packed all her boxes inside my house. I couldn't help but wonder how the rest of my life would be. It was like I was acting a suspense movie that I didn't know about, as if I was acting a movie without a script, like I had not read the story line. As I approached my house I made up my mind to not let my new life bother me. I could cut the presence of the woman out and just live my normal life. Yes I knew there will be consequences but I couldn't care less, it was my life, and no matter how much trouble I got into for the choices I made, I knew I could always come out.

She was in my room, how did she find my room? She had tied her wedding dress somehow that it looked a little shorter. When she saw me she scratched her head and turned her attention back to the things.

"I didn't find any space in the wardrobe to keep my things" she said with her eyes now on me. "I was wondering if you could create space for me" it was polite but i didn't notice. She waited patiently for a response from me while I analysed her words in my head. Were her things supposed to be in my wardrobe? What made her think I would share my wardrobe with her?

"I don't understand" I told her plainly but in a frown. "What makes you think the wardrobe is for us?"

Her mouth fell open then I noticed how she struggled to bring out words from her mouth but she failed, she closed her mouth and turned her eyes to her things.

"So where will I keep them?" She asked with her eyes still on the things. I walked past her and started taking off the tie I had been wearing

"I'd manage if You keep them beside my wardrobe" I said and waited for a reply but I got none. She became quiet and started doing things i didn't know but i didn't care, i liked the silence. I wondered if it was okay to take off my shirt with her in the room. After much contemplation, I took my towel and moved to my bathroom. As I bathed I thought of the room, the bed, where would she sleep? I only had a room. I couldn't come up with an idea and I couldn't imagine sleeping in the living room- being a sacrificial lamb-no way. After bathing I realised I would come out with only my towel on-i had forgotten to take in clothes with me. I was angry with myself for such stupid mistake. I started wishing I could sneak inside my room to get my clothes and run back inside the bathroom but it was a silly imagination, I ended up coming out with my towel around my waist and my coat of boldness around my shoulder, I was walking proudly like I didn't feel a tinge of shame in being partially naked in front of a strange woman until I realised she was not in the room. She had arranged her things neatly and had laid the bed that was not laid. I normally laid my bed-well sometimes-but I didn't lay it that morning because of the wedding. My room looked new and strangely neat, it scared me, it announced the presence of someone else that was not me, someone with a different perspective that was forcing herself into my life. I quickly wore my night ware shorts and was about wearing the shirt when she came in, she passed me like I was not there and picked a piece of clothing she had kept on her box. As I buttoned my shirt I watched her as she disappeared into the bathroom and closed the door-my bathroom. I sighed. I couldn't believe it, my plan was to ignore her but with what? My eyes could see her, my ears could hear her sounds, there was no way out. I laid at the end of the right side of the bed and faced the wall, my eyes were closed and I was near sleep when the bathroom door hit the wall noisily and She stormed out like she was purposely offending me, I wanted to ignore her but then she tapped my feet and watched me until I sat up and watched her in quieted rage.

"You left your trouser and belt and boxer on the toilet seat" she told me sternly and I immediately felt ashamed. For the first time in my own house, I felt ashamed. She was with my things in her hand and stretched them out to me. I hesitated before I took it. "You're welcome" she said and walked to where her boxes were. I watched her towel her hair and hang her towel on one hanger. I didn't watch her for long, I stood up and put the things in my dirty clothes basket. As I did, she passed me to the bed and laid far away from the edge of the other side of the bed. She was partially in the middle and was backing the wall. She opened a book I couldn't really see well and started reading it. I was amazed at her boldness, how she approached my bed like it was hers, feeling so comfortable, I wondered if she had been married before, she seemed like she had done all these things before. I walked in bits to the bed and sat at the edge then I turned to her and watched her as she read the book, I realised it was the Bible.

"Can you move to the edge?" I told her. Her response was a raised brow and a stare at me. I guess she needed a repetition so I repeated myself. "Like, you're too close to me" I said in disgust. I wanted her to know I was not shy.

"What if I fall?" She said with her small, sing like, womanly strange voice. The question was funny but I didn't laugh. I only shrugged and patiently waited for her to do as I said. "You don't care if I fall?"

"Please just turn" I told her impatiently. "Turn around and shift. It won't be hard for me to push you if you don't comply". It vexed me that she searched my eyes strangely before she turned. The act left me confused, i felt awkward, her attitude did something to me. Were there words in the attitude that I knew nothing about? It left me bothered, I couldn't get over it, I switched off the light and closed my eyes but then she switched them on back.

" I'm sorry, I'm reading" she quickly apologised and I bore with her. After all I had slept many times with the light on, it was not worth a fight. She made continuous uncomfortable moves on the bed that didn't and couldn't let me sleep. I was frustrated but I couldn't get myself to complain. The woman had seen my underwear earlier and she had given me a strange look I couldn't understand, I wanted the two to digest before I got anymore from her. That night, I slept in a struggle, I just knew I needed coffee to move the next morning.

The next morning she woke up before my alarm, and in fact I did not hear my alarm. It's either I was too tired to hear or maybe she had switched off my alarm. The thought of her switching off my alarm forced me up to my feet, I ignored prayer or anything I did first in the morning and wanted to go in search of her but then I realised that I'd be very foolish to confront her about an alarm I was not sure she turned off. I quickly retreated, there were many ways I could handle the issue not by being stupid.

It was eight in the morning and I used to be at work exactly by eight or before eight. I prayed anyway, God had to be first in my day, He would save me from every unnecessary mistake that was waiting for me on the road for that day. After praying I freshened up and got dressed for the day and I was as well happy that I made it out of my room in thirty minutes. I needed coffee so I went to my kitchen and the aroma of something I have never perceived in my life from my kitchen greeted my nostrils. I stood at the entrance and watched her open my oven then she brought out a tray of round baked things from my oven, they were doughnuts.

She did not notice me. She put some on a flat plate and put the rest back inside the oven then she took off the oven glove and hung it and walked to the sink and started washing the dishes, she was just too busy in my kitchen, I was confused.

"What are you doing?" I asked and I saw how she shivered in shock like I caught her stealing-She was actually stealing my kitchen.

"Washing the plates, what does it look like?" She asked in a frown and turned back to the plates. I watched the doughnut she had kept on the flat plate and wondered who it was for. I was hungry and as much as I was angry she was using my kitchen, the doughnuts were tempting, I knew it would go well with coffee spiced with milk. My mouth watered. "Good morning anyway" her voice cut my attention from the food to her.

"Get out of there" I said to her. "Why are you washing my plates? Did I ask you to?" I asked angrily. I didn't want her to ever act like I owed her for one thing or the other she had done for me and besides, could she wash my dishes more than I could?

"Why? I don't like seeing dirty plates and I am using the kitchen"

"My kitchen" I reminded and she was silent for a while before she took few steps backward from the sink.

"So I have to take permission before I can use anything here" she said but I gave no reply. I unbuttoned the wrist parts of my shirt and folded the sleeve until they were above my ankle, she just watched me with her arms folded and stood beside me. I washed the plate, I hated the fact that she made me feel dirty and unkept while she felt clean and perfect. I think she was tired of standing there so she left her standing point and walked somewhere behind me. When I was done, I left the kitchen and found the plate of doughnut carefully placed on the centre table. I wondered where she was, I had the intention of taking just one but my pride couldn't let me.

"Please can I use your bathroom?" I heard her say but I ignored her, I left the house with my car key. I was hungry, I was angry, I needed coffee and I needed an advice. With my heavy heart, I drove to work but work couldn't go well. I was tired and my employees kept saying I should go home to rest.

"You're not supposed to be at work" Nathaniel said to me with a smile. "What about your wife"

The word "wife" hit me.

"Your other half. Why did you live her all alone?" He asked. Nathaniel was my friend and my employee.

"My other half?" I asked in confusion and interest.

"Yes of course" He replied with a smile. "Your wife is like half of you, she is one with you"

His words disgusted me.

"Please, leave my office" I said and fixed my glasses well. I switched to work mode and turned to my laptop. "Have you been monitoring the new employees? I'm ready to bring those who are unserious down"

I knew he got the message. He frowned at me and stood up, I knew it hurt him that his friend was his boss. I was like his older brother, ruling him and playing with him whenever I wanted. After Nathaniel left, I couldn't even work or reason properly, I requested for coffee but it didn't work. I found my mind deviating from anything I was trying to put together to the woman in my house. Everything I thought of seemed to point her and it was just frustrating. I had to leave work early since I couldn't even work. As I drove, I visualised my mode of entering the house, how silently I would make it to the bathroom for a warm bath and then get food to offer my hungry stomach. I planned to say no word for the rest of the day as I parked my car in my compound. I sighed as I opened the door and got down with my car key. As I pushed the door open I hoped she was asleep or hidden somewhere but no, she was on my couch with her eyes on me and her mouth whining, there was something inside. She stood up with a nylon in her hand and swallowed what she was chewing, I realised it was popcorn.

"Welcome" she said plainly. "I didn't hear your horn, I would've helped you to open the gate"

I wanted to ignore her since I had vowed to not say a word to her but I wanted to know why she didn't go to work. I mean was she jobless? Was she going to depend on me, was she an automatic burden my mother placed on my shoulder? So I had already taken a step forward but I halted at the thought.

"Don't you have a job? Why are you so idle?" I asked and I don't know why she watched me the way she did in a frown. She hesitated.

"I have a job mister" she said in a very dramatic way, my lips broke into a surprised smile. "But I didn't go because of this so-called honeymoon"

"Honeymoon?" I asked in surprise.

"Why are you smiling?" She asked in a confused frown.

"Look" I rather said with my index pointing her. "Don't use me or this marriage as an excuse for being jobless" then I walked out because I didn't see the need in standing there and waiting for another word from her. I sighed and closed the door when I entered my room and I was already taking off my tie when the site of a fancy wardrobe close to mine made me almost run mad of shock. I wanted to jump out of the room and approach the matter with words from my heart but I decided to be calm and I didn't want to fool myself. I had tried to approach situations many times when my anger was hot, I ended up looking stupid. I stammered and after everything, I seemed even angrier because the person I poured it out on didn't look remorseful, it was rather a shock that was on my opponent's face. Since then, I couldn't just fool myself.

I removed my tie successfully and was removing my shirt when the door opened and instead of her to leave, she walked to my front and sat on the bed, searching for something inside the side cupboard, I wanted to ignore the wardrobe issue but I thought her presence was a proof that I had to table the matter.

"What is this you put in my room?" I asked calmly and it vexed me that she didn't answer. She acted like I didn't speak, like it was the sound of a stupid dog bark that she heard. I was very angry but then a thought calmed me down; I had acted like that to a thousand people, I had done it many times and they didn't retaliate like I was planning to. I defended myself with the thought that it was my room and I had the right to get angry. "I'm talking to you" I said. "I can hit..." I tried saying but she cut me.

"Hit me?" She asked and I watched her in shock. I never had any thought like that. As much as I got angry, violence was never my thing. I wanted to say I could hit the wardrobe and scatter it's wood to the ground-i know it was a violent statement but it was just a mere threat. "Go on. Hit me" she said and she stood up and started approaching me, her attitude gave me goosebumps. "Hit me" she urged further and when she got to an inch away from me, she said in a partial whisper. "I'm not scared of a blow, I'm sure you know my story". After the sentence and attitude that was killing me she walked away from me to her wardrobe.

I was stunned, I felt foolish, I felt like a dog that had heard the roar of a lion. How did she do that? I stood there speechlessly and wondered when my mouth would release a word or my legs will take a move but none happened.

" for your information I had a house" she told me. "That had a kitchen and a bathroom and a wardrobe and everything I needed. Well I had these things until I came here and was assured that it'd be a much better life. Do you think I want to be here? Do you think i like it with you, with a strange man I don't know? I don't know who you think you are?" she was angry. I felt like her face was hot from all the frowning and the squeezing. I was surprised she felt that way, I thought I was the only one that hated her presence. "Do you think I came here purposely to share your resources?" She continued but in a weaker tone. "What kind of an insult did I come here to receive?" She kept on ranting. I didn't know what to do. I felt like I owed an apology. She was quietly and angrily doing something in her wardrobe for a while then she scoffed. "Wait a minute, where were you expecting me to put my things?" She asked. "Oh! You thought I'd keep my things beside your wardrobe forever"

Forever! She was going to live with me forever but she hated it with me and I hated it with her, couldn't we just part ways, I couldn't believe I would stay with her forever, the information was depressing.

"I'm sorry" I said because the words works to calm my mother whenever she was angry. It made her quickly keep calm and forgive me so I thought it would work for her.

"No you're not" she said and it was true. Her attention was still in her wardrobe. "You're a selfish person, can you ever be sorry?"

She called me selfish! The last thing I ever thought of was to come back home and exchange words with the woman.

"You're not sorry so don't bother saying it" with that she closed her wardrobe with nothing in her hand and stood with her eyes on me. "I know how you feel, I honestly do. You see no reason to be sorry, it's your house and you've been enjoying it as a bachelor but you don't have a choice. I'm here now, somehow you just have to get used to it"

"What?" I muttered. I thought she didn't hear me.

"Yes. Because somehow I left my peace and comfort to come here so as much as you hate it with me, I don't like it with you either but we can still manage till there's a way out"

"There is a way out" I blurted. "You can go back to your house"

She watched me in shock and maybe pain.

"Why? How? I wish you were the one to go back home then you won't say so"

i expected her to speak in tears but she didn't. Her eyes only glowed under the light and it made me pay rapt attention to them. I liked how they glowed, it looked very nice and I thought it was an inspiration for a graphic design. I could bring it up, I could introduce it to a client for an advertisement banner. Maybe the advertisement of a drink product-the delight and amusement in the eyes of the consumer, my employees may hate it but I liked it and if we gave it a try, I couldn't place the harm. She was still talking.

"The shame. It'd be like I offended my husband that was why he threw me out. They won't know that I did nothing to you. They'd think I can't cook, they won't know that you're just a wierdo"

"I'm a weirdo" I said in an angry smile, I ignored the first word that I wanted to comment on, the "husband" she titled me.

"I'm glad you know" she looked so delighted. In her eyes I could see how fulfilled she felt for throwing that word at me. It was like she had successfully shot an arrow at it's targeted point. Her eyes glowed even more but in a different way of gladness. She was too mean to say something wrong and be delighted but then I considered that she was pained, and maybe I had said many hurtful things to her. She was succeeding in making me consider how she felt even after she called me weird.

"So I am weird to you?" I said in a friendly way.

"Yes" she said sternly. "You're strangely annoying and preserved like I can't believe you let us get married when I can't use the kitchen or touch the plates"

I had an issue with her. It was not the fact that she called me weird, it was all the things she kept on record, I thought she'd make a good accountant.

"Are you an accountant?" I asked and I watched her confused face.

"Can you hear yourself? Hear yourself and tell me if you're not weird. What does an accountant have to do with our conversation?"

"No the way you keep an account of everything, I thought..." I tried explaining but I stopped. "I'm sorry for everything. Maybe we should do it my way. Ignore me and I'd ignore you. Don't get in my way and I won't offend you. Resume work and don't add anything to my room"

"I can't resume work" she said impatiently. "I have been given three months break, how can I resume work when I'm on break?"

"How can you be so lazy?" I said in disgust. "How can you take such a long time doing nothing in the name of marriage"

"I didn't" she explained in offence. "I was given"

"And you took it" I pointed. "That makes you lazy". She silently watched me for a while.

" because I thought I'd have a better life partner" she spat and expected it to hurt me but it didn't. She walked away from me and laid on the bed.

"Well that doesn't sound like a defence for being lazy" I said. "Anyway, let's work on my terms. Keep away from me, can I not hear your voice? it's an itch in my ear and please let's not cross paths" I paused and saw how she buried her face in the pillow. "Don't try cleaning my things" I added "it's my house. And keep your distance on the bed"

I hoped she heard me, I hoped she stored all my words like she stored my flaws then I took my towel and what I would wear to the bathroom to freshen up, I couldn't forget my clothes in the bathroom again like the last time. When i came out, she was sitting up and was on a call.

"I'm fine" she said with a heavy voice, a crooked version of her tiny voice. "I said I'm fine, why did you call me?" She shouted at the caller. "If you have nothing to say, hang up" I walked closer to the bed and stood unashamedly to listen. "I'm okay" she said. "I have a cough" she lied. "Yes. He's fine" she started clearing her voice. "I'm not angry. You know what? Goodnight"

She didn't see me, she laid back and faced the wall while I made my way to the kitchen. The kitchen smelt of food-of good food. I knew she would not come to the kitchen so I searched for the doughnut she had made in the morning and found it in the microwave, two pieces were still remaining and I consumed them on my feet out of hunger, not minding the consequences. I also found a portion of porridge beans and ripe plantain which I also consumed and left nothing. I left the pot were I found it and walked back to my room. She was already fast asleep so I washed my mouth and laid then I turned off the lights and closed my eyes with a smile, with thoughts that good food is indeed good.