A MISTRESS' AFFAIR

"What things can someone do for love?"

Nirvana had a perfect answer for this question, she would do just about everything for the man she loved.

"To what extent could someone love a person? What kind of intensity was allowed? What are the things that should and shouldn't be done for love? When should there be a drawback? What was the breaking point? What was the limit?'

These questions, she didn't have answers for nor did she pray for the courage to answer, because she would never have the heart to face what the answer might be.

Maybe that was why she stood quietly on that spot on the stairs, trying to pretend she didn't see the two people who were sitting together on a single chair. They were sitting so close that they might just as well be sitting over each other as they whispered into each other's ears, laughing and giggling.

They were the perfect picture of a happily married couple and it felt too real, pointing a straight dagger to her heart.

That man was her lover, the man who swore to always protect her and the one she swore to always love, no matter what. It was a promise both of them made but it was only one person that remembered it. There was no way he was cruel enough to continue holding that woman dearly and looking at her like that if he still remembered.

The worst part of everything was that they were morally and legally right to do that, to love each other, to kiss each other in every corner of the room and attend places-hands linked together.

While with her, it was an abomination, something of utter recklessness and immorality.

She was the one pushed to the position of the mistress-she could be nothing but that.

Derek Jules, the man she dated and had spent way too long with, and the woman who had taken him away from her, Kaitlyn Moore. Through some messed up circumstances, they all lived in the same house.

The wife, husband and his mistress.

But there should be no hard feelings right? It was supposed to be an act.

"Come on, Nirvana," She heard a voice behind her and turned to see Calvin walking down the stairs. "Everyone is almost here."

His tone was gentle and his eyes were full of pity, probably because of the events that were going to happen later that day, something that always happened when there was a family gathering.

It happened every time but it didn't make it hurt any less, in fact, the more gathering was available, the more reckless Kaitlyn would be. Nirvana braced herself for the events of the day that would surely not favor her, just thinking about it was making her anxiety shoot over the roof.

She nodded, trying to calm herself as her fingers gripped the sides of her dress. She made her way down hastily because she needed to plate the food as fast as possible. She wasted so much time daydreaming.

"You might have just asked us to do it on our own," Kaitlyn sneered as she came to sit at the dinning, Derek had his arms wrapped tightly around her waist.

Nirvana didn't say anything-just like she wasn't supposed to, not like she could even if she wanted, it would come out in a jumbled mess, she was thinking of seeing a therapist soon. It was getting harder to keep track of the things her brain had no idea of.

"Are you deaf?!" Kaitlyn asked fiercely, when Nirvana didn't answer, she barged ahead and gripped her jaws tightly to make her stare straight into her eyes. "You have to understand that when I am talking to you, you should answer me with your mouth or you won't like the consequences of your actions." Kaitlyn leaned closer to her and lowered her voice, her manicured nails digging into her skin and hurting her.

"Alright," Nirvana's lack of reaction only added to Kaitlyn's irritation, but that was all she could manage because of her disorder which had worsened lately, maybe because Kaitlyn's behavior had turned more erratic. She wasn't half as worse the month before which made Nirvana wonder if Kaitlyn was feeling insecure or saw her as a formidable enemy, but why now after all these while?

"You must think that you are still the main thing in this place, I must have you understand that I have a place in this mansion because I am legally married into this family and I have the right to cast you out if you continue to behave like a little shit." She dropped her jaw harshly and stood tall, her back straight and proud. "The worthiness of a wife can't be compared to that of a freeloader, so it is my place to correct you."

Another reminder Kaitlyn never failed to deliver every day.

Derek told her that he didn't choose Kaitlyn over her but was forced to get married because of personal interest, but he would find a way to wiggle out of the chokehold that the marriage had him on when Nirvana found out about his wedding.

Assured her that he would never love Kaitlyn and Nirvana believed him but she had forgotten that even though he said all that, it didn't mean that he would continue loving her.

He always succeeds in failing her-even at this moment, an emotionless glance was all he directed her way before he finally reached out to Kaitlyn.

A part of Nirvana wanted to scream, but how could she manage that when all she wanted to do was curl into a hole?

'Relax, it was all an act,' she repeated in her head as she tightened her finger, a mantra, a routine. It was either that, or have a mental meltdown, which would be a disaster because the guests visiting today were important.

"Kaitlyn, this is no time to banter with her," Derek murmured against Kaitlyn's shoulder as he buried his face in her neck.

"Since when did this place become yours? What? Don't tell me that you are actually feeling important because you married him?" Calvin chuckled sarcastically, gesturing to Derek with a sardonic smirk on his lips.

"Shut up your mouth, Calvin." Derek seethed.

"And if I don't?!" Calvin's eyes burned with flames as he glared at his brother.

Derek and Calvin never got along since their younger days and they grew even more apart as they grew older, they were at complete odds now.

"Then I would shut it up for you, that is no way to speak to your brother!" Another voice cut through the tense silence that arose from Calvin's confrontation and everyone stood straight.

It was Mrs. Jules, the woman whose wealth contributed to half of what made up Jules Corporation. She had just as much say as her husband in matters concerning the family.

"Mom! It is Derek's fault!" Calvin exclaimed.

"Don't tell me that you are protecting this shameless wench once again?" Mrs. Jules' voice had turned edgy, glaring at Nirvana.

"But-" Calvin started to talk but Nirvana discreetly pulled his shirt lightly.

This wasn't the time to start an argument, their guest had arrived, she heard movements from the living room earlier and soon enough, they were joined by three different people-two women and one man.

They were the guests that attended the small family gathering that Mrs. Jules had hosted, these guests were part of Mrs. Jules extended family and held high positions in the various cities they were. One last glare from Mrs. Jules, everyone quickly composed themselves and took a seat at the table, Nirvana perfecting a poker face while Kaitlyn smiled politely.

"Julia, it is so nice to see you after all these while," One of two women beamed and the others nodded with smiles.

"Same here, Judith. I missed all of you all the time." Mrs. Jules replied, before she pointed to Derek. "Let me introduce my son, Derek Jules, he is in charge of most Jules companies now."

"Nice to meet you, everyone, I have heard a lot about you all." He smiled.

"This is his wife, Kaitlyn, she is actually the only daughter of the Moore family," Mrs. Jules continued.

She didn't get along with Kaitlyn, but Kaitlyn was useful when it was time to brag-which Mrs. Jules liked to do in a totally sophisticated way. The Moore family was at the helm of all business affairs in the country and abroad, every businessman sought a chance to have a meeting with them at least once.

"Wow! That's thrilling! How did Derek manage to get such a beautiful woman?" The man asked and everyone laughed.

That was a question Nirvana had asked herself a lot of time. Kaitlyn's level was above Derek, a bit out of his reach, why on earth did she marry into the Jules family when it was obvious that she was an ambition ladder to Derek? What kind of benefit could possibly be rewarded to her for their marriage?

"This is...?" Her attention was snapped back by Judith who was staring at her, waiting for her to tell them who she was. Nirvana clenched her fist so tightly that she could feel blood, her whole body taut and her face turned pale.

Who was she? How was she supposed to introduce herself in a way that would guarantee her stay at the table? Derek's Mistress? His lover? His secretary? None of it made any sense to anyone. It didn't justify her presence on the table.

She found herself tongue-tied as her mind grappled to find a self-escape.

"I..." She started but Kaitlyn was faster and louder.

"She is our head maid."

The silence was so loud that it overpowered the buzz in Nirvana's brain..Her system was short-circuited and she could only stare at everyone like an idiot. The small smirk that laced Kaitlyn's lips was a thorn that relentlessly dug into her side. She tried to open her mouth as she heaved lightly but her lips felt too heavy, she had no control of it anymore.

"Head Maid?" The other woman stared at her from head to toe in a condescending manner.

Indeed, her outfit at that moment was no different from that of a maid, considering the level of wealth and lavishness that the Jules enjoyed. But she wore what she could manage without Derek, he was the one who provided her with everything she wanted, it was just that lately he had no time to cater to her.

She understood how busy he was, he was going to come to her later and she was going to try and improvise on what she had but then he had to hand all the expenses to Kaitlyn who would rather die than provide her with what she wanted, the little she had was what she used to get what it could cover.

How did it get to that stage? She wasn't aware either.

All she knew was that the only person she had since she woke up was Derek, he was all she ever knew-literally.

"Yeah, she had rendered so much help these days and had helped us catch some rival companies who had planted spies among our maids, so Kaitlyn thought that we could show appreciation to her by letting her dine with us."

Those words caused the overwhelming blow because it was her lover supporting his wife like always. He would always do that, even if it meant bashing her, he would do that for Kaitlyn. Even if the protection and affection was fake, the pain Nirvana felt was real, there were times it didn't feel like an act.

She bit her trembling lips so hard that she could feel blood in her mouth, her eyes welled up as she heard another broken piece of her heart shatter once again because of his actions.

Yet, she couldn't do anything.

She loved him too much to ruin his ambitions.

'I should keep on enduring and supporting, all this is a sham, it is for a greater purpose, Derek is just playing pretend with Kaitlyn. I would get what I have always wanted later, I would be married to him soon after I have helped him achieve his goals.' She chanted a sacred mantra, willing to believe it because it would be dangerous to consider any other possibility, she didn't want to think of it, it shouldn't cross her mind.

'Derek's marriage to Kaitlyn was to secure his post in the family, Kaitlyn's identity as a Moore was what made it possible for him to gain control of some companies under his father's wings, his mother's were naturally his but his father needed a bit more work. Kaitlyn hasn't been divorced because Derek was a few steps to his aims so she still had to stay, that was one of the reasons why I have to embrace it with zipped lips and have no reaction to whatever Kaitlyn does. I don't want to be inconsiderate and want the best for Derek, but this has gone on for five long years. How much do I have to wait? Waiting to become Mrs. Jules, how much time and effort does it require? No! Don't think, don't think.'

Nirvana's thoughts spiralled out of control and her face flushed into an uncomfortable red color as sweat dripped from her forehead.

"Oh really?" Nirvana could hardly hear Judith's perky voice when it filled the room again. "I didn't expect Kaitlyn to be such a sweet girl! Who thought of how kind she was to do this."

Calvin tried to stand up but a glare from Mrs. Jules was enough to make him sit back and stay quiet, it was a threatening glare, one that promised a lot of bad things if he did anything out of place and knowing Mrs. Jules, those bad things would be done to Nirvana instead. He had no choice but to stay put.

"You are right, there were a few daughters of big conglomerates that would do that, and Moore stands at the top," The man nodded in appreciation.

Nirvana just swallowed the uncomfortable lump in her throat, she had just been used to adjusting Kaitlyn's image and there was nothing she could do than nod her head like a fool.

"Here, to the best head maid to ever exist, I toast this glass of wine to you," Kaitlyn spoke up, smirking at Nirvana, she raised a glass of wine in her hand. Nirvana forced herself to look in her face as she gripped the glass of wine tightly and raised it to Kaitlyn, her lips struggling to form a smile before she gulped down the wine which made Kaitlyn laugh, the guest also joined her in her laughter-bootlicking bunches.

The gathering was happy and joyful but Nirvana had never felt so mournful, it was as if she just sold herself and maybe in a way she just did. These people were part of the most important ones to Derek among his family members, yet in front of them, Nirvana was nothing more than a maid while Kaitlyn was the wife. Even if she finally gets married to Derek, she would be nothing more than the maid who shot for her spot after the real wife left.

There weren't a lot of people, but there needn't be, the humiliation worked perfectly well because in front of these people present did Nirvana want to be seen in the best version of herself.nShe glanced at Derek's direction, their gaze met for a moment but it wasn't long before he looked away because of what she assumed to be guilt.

That guilt didn't last for long because Kaitlyn was already linking his hands with hers and forcing him to smile at her before glancing at Nirvana cockily.

'Good job, Kaitlyn Moore, you really planned well with this. I will remember it and pay you back twice when I finally get married to Derek.' She swore to herself, glaring at Kaitlyn under her lashes, the woman just smirked back at her as if she heard what she was thinking.

******

"You should help them take their coat to the car, shouldn't you?" Kaitlyn raised a brow at Nirvana, dumping the coats of the three men in her hands as the guest walked out of the mansion with Mrs. Jules, chatting heartily.

Both of them stood at a corner, away from everyone else's view.

"Why should I do that?" Nirvana raised a brow, she was at her limit of enduring her constant madness, she could let the thin disguise she wore everyday like a cloak drop to the ground right now, the tight rope snapped earlier and she wanted to get words out. She wouldn't care about the aftermath, she would deal with that later.

"You are the head maid, remember? You should learn your duties."

"If this is your way of trying to push me into the position of a maid?"

"What are you other than that in this mansion?" Kaitlyn scoffed. "You plate the dishes, wash the dishes, you are in charge of making sure the house is neat and you dare not say no when there is an errand needed to be done in this mansion. Do you see me doing all of that?" Kaitlyn readjusted her stance and regarded her seriously.

"I meant what I said earlier, you know? If you do something wrong, you are really going out. Let's see how you would manage to survive without any source of income whatsoever.

You have no place to stay and your entire life savings is with Derek-to invest with." She laughed sarcastically before she continued. "Your family are the last people that were going to take you back and it seems like you don't know this, but I have all the things you would need to be employed and be considered a normal citizen of this city with me and I am sure you know how hard it is to try and create another one under the force that is me."

Kaitlyn glared at her, and rearranged the expensive bracelets on her wrist whilst turning the wedding band around her finger in a show of dominance. After all, between the two of them, that was the most important thing. They heard the door shielding them close and from her peripheral view, she could see the silhouette of a man standing there, staring at both of them.

"So when I tell you to kneel, you would do that and when I tell you to bark, just be a nice dog. You, Nirvana Ryan," She pushed her shoulder with her finger. "Are nothing but a useless stupid mistress that is willing to obey the wife of a man who doesn't even love or care about her with hopes that she would get married to him. Don't think I don't know all your schemes."

Nirvana felt her head pound and her body grew hurt, she tried her best to control her irregular breathing but failed.

She had always been so careful, never allowed a slip or a misstep, how on earth was Kaitlyn able to know that all these while she had actually been pretending and waiting for the perfect moment to sabotage her.

If Kaitlyn was aware of all of that now, did it mean that all of what she said earlier wasn't a threat? She really had her proof of identity and diplomas with her and she wouldn't really be able to get a job even if she decided to leave the family on her own?

That was bad!

Those things were supposed to be with Derek, he had them with him for safekeeping, how on earth did it manage to reach Kaitlyn?! Did she steal it or have taken it out without letting Derek know that it was with her?

There were a lot of things swirling in her head at that moment, there were a lot of unanswered questions as well as imperfect answers, she needed to see Derek right now in order to clear the misunderstanding and plan their next step of actions.

Nirvana tried to walk past her but Kaitlyn pushed her back and her head slammed hard on the wall, she grunted in discomfort. She was so used to ignoring her that she didn't feel the need to answer and she was so used to letting her have her way that it became instinctual to do nothing even when she attempted to hurt her. She had been acting for so long that it had become part of herself, a big part of who she was or maybe that was who she really was? She had no way of knowing and she didn't want to confirm that now.

First priority was seeing Derek.

But Kaitlyn already had her under a lock hold.

"I freaking hate it when you act like a mute, it makes me want to kill you," She seethed before grabbing her hair in another and yanking it hard that a yelp of pain escaped Nirvana's lips. She didn't let it go on for long before she pushed her back and staggered herself. She quickly made her way away from where she was, stepping on those clothes that belonged to those cursed guests that came and stumbled out of the place, but she hadn't staggered for long before she collided with a strong object, or rather person.

She recognized the shoe from an expensive brand and tried to look up at him but the tingling at the back of her head made her touch the back of her head as she continued to raise her head up slowly. The Armani suit and the royal tie showed his wealth.

When she raised her head enough to stare at his face, she brought the palm of her hand in front of her face and saw that it was stained with blood, her vision went dizzy for a moment and she felt her legs weaken. Before she could fall, the man's hand wrapped around her waist and his only feature he could make out were his pair of green eyes but even that was a blur-she couldn't be specific about the type of green it was.

"You have turned useless and stupid, after ten years, why can't I still let go..." Nirvana heard his deep velvet voice and it resonated in her mind but before she could hear the complete words, she was pushed away and fell to the ground.

"YOU WOULD DO YOUR ABSOLUTE BEST TO GET YOUR SHITTY SELF AWAY FROM HIM OR I SWEAR I AM GOING TO MAKE YOU ROT IN DEEPEST PART OF HELL! DON'T TRY TO SEDUCE HIM WITH YOUR CHEAP ACTS, IT WON'T WORK!"

This time, Kaitlyn wasn't yelling, it was a roar and it made her head buzzed again, she shook her head, closed and opened her eyes before she opened it, trying to keep focus.

"Who the hell made her lose her marbles to such an extent? Was that someone we both know? Is–No! I need to meet Derek!" She got a grip of herself and tried to stand, she discarded the thoughts as soon as she remembered that she had to see Derek. There were some things she had to inform him and some misunderstandings that needed to be cleared.

Adrenaline was still pumping in her veins, she should do some things before she has a meltdown. Derek left even before the guest left, he had some things to attend to at work, so he could only be at Jules Corporation at the moment. That was the direction that she needed to head in but first of all, she had to change her clothes and clean the blood off her hair.

***********

It wasn't long before she got to Jules Corporation, and just as usual everyone she met stared at her weirdly. They had mixed expressions that fluctuated between longing and pity, it was something that was truly confusing to deal with, especially when all these people had nothing to do with her.

She had asked Derek a lot of times if she had any sort of relationship with them but he only told her that almost every one of them was aware of the kind of situation that Nirvana had with her family and had witnessed some of their shit so they couldn't help the feelings that coursed through them anytime they laid their eyes on her, but she still felt that it was long overdrawn and it didn't fail to irk her the wrong way and feel like she was truly missing something very important.

She hadn't taken more than four steps in the lobby and was heading to the elevator when she was double crossed by her brother who immediately blocked her way.

"Where do you think that you are going?" Greg asked and she scoffed before she crossed her arms over her chest.

"Why don't you take a guess?" She raised a brow when Greg stared at her in surprise.

Normally, she would be quiet as a mouse when dealing with every single one of their provocation because her whole family worked for Kaitlyn and had pledge their allegiance to follow her, obey her orders and get things done for her simply because she gave them a lot of money which they discarded her-their own family-for.

Strangely enough, she couldn't find it in herself to think more about them, it didn't hurt anytime they were brought or when she saw them, to her, they were nothing but greedy average people hungry to climb the ladder in high society.

That was how she ended up as the Mistress who started living with her husband and his wife. Her parents had thrown her out of their place by Kaitlyn's order, right after Kaitlyn's wedding with Derek.

Kaitlyn wanted to leave Nirvana homeless and helpless against everything but she hadn't expected Derek to be unable to ignore her and be daring enough to bring her into Jules Mansion in order for her to find a place to stay.

Normally, Derek didn't have enough authority to let her stay and his mother didn't like her enough to make her enjoy the comfort of their home but there was another person in Jules Family who seemed to like her a bit and that was Mr. Jules himself, Derek's father. So he let her stay and she had been staying there for the past five years.

Since they worked for Kaitlyn, she had always been mindful in order to not let them tip anything off to Kaitlyn but now that the truth was out in the open, why even bother with them?

"Are you talking to me like that?"

"Do you see a ghost," Nirvana scoffed before she folded her arms. "Oh! It is even better to chat with a ghost than with a useless devil spawn like yourself," Nirvana snapped at him which made his eyes grow wide.

Nirvana didn't know why it was like that but when she wasn't dealing with an anxiety attack, she was as snappy as a bitch it made her feel like she didn't know herself at all.

But contrary to the anger she expected from Greg, she was met with fear instead before he managed to open his lips and asked tentatively.

He swallowed first and seemed to brace himself. "D...Do you remember everything?"

Nirvana stared at him with narrowed eyes, was there another important thing she was forgetting?!