A MAFIA FATHER'S JOURNEY

They were waiting for Mummy.

We were.

I paused outside their door.

The laughter that emanated from their room was so infectious. It began as a silent chuckle, then slowly it turned into a mirthful but stilted giggle. Few minutes, it transformed into a full fledged chortle. Their discussion seemed to be something related to their school experiences. I stood outside to listen. My plan was not to eavesdrop, Godforbid that I should be that kind of father who surreptitiously listened on his children's private conversation. But I got bored waiting for my wife's return, and somehow their discussion became intriguing.

Khadijat, my five year old daughter, dressed in a sky blue pyjamas, her dark short hair brushed neatly, appeared to be the narrator. She was telling her sister how she stood up to the meddlesome bullies in her school the previous week. The narration was so vivid you could actually visualize what transpired.

"This particular girl in my class, Rajiv, always believed she knows everything. She began narrating. She thinks she knows a little bit of every subject, especially french which was the subject we found strange. She always does it to impress the new blonde boy in our class which they all think he's cute. She paused, her expression suddenly changed. But I don't, I think he's not the cutest. Matter of fact, he resembles a monkey." She stressed the last word and they both burst out with laughter.

From where I stood, I had to bite my lips to hold my laughter.

"That's not a very nice thing to say Khadijat." Her sister joked, still shaking with laughter.

"I know, but he's over hyped and always tries to maintain his status by doing cool stuff. Listen let me tell you. She wedged herself by the end of the bed. You know I'm new in the school right? She asked, and without waiting for her sister's response she continued, and french is an optional subject in our school. One day, the new kid was trying to impress everyone by asking french questions."

..."who can tell me how to say good morning in french? He asked gazing at us like some illiterate kids." Everybody was silent in the classroom

After some minutes he spoke." I'm disappointed, you mean none of you knows how to say good morning in francàis?" He asked stressing the last word with pride

Hesitantly, I raised my hand. He then pointed at me. I stood up a little shy and said "Bonjour. Look sister, she moved closer, and smiled with sparkle in her eyes. The kid was surprised, everyone was surprised also."

"So what did he say?" Her sister asked, giggling a little.

"That's very good. Khadijat added dryly. I turned my back and saw the look of envy on Rajiv's face. I felt triumph other kids began clapping for me. Then I felt like I should make use of the opportunity. Khadijat chuckled. And how do you say that's very good in french? I asked him."

"Oh my God, that's so evil of you sister" her sister said. Khadijat smiled psychotically and bit her lips.

"I had to show those kids who is the boss. Let me tell you. He suddenly jerked his head and asked me to repeat it again, which I did. Standing for a couple of minutes, he couldn't respond to my question...."Err.. I don't know he finally said at last." "Then with his head bowed, he returned to his sit. Then Rajiv, with her long dark hair and perfect eyebrows thought she could embarrass me. She got up and threw the question at me. Suddenly I had cold feet and felt the entire class stare at me. C'est tres Bien. Rajiv, that's how you say that's very good. With my head held high I replied her, staring at her eyes".

"Suddenly, the class began clapping and laughing at the same time. Rajiv followed the new kid out and didn't come back until after the break time was up. Meanwhile, the whole class surrounded me and started clapping and chanting C'est tres Bien. I got them, I really got those meanies" khadijat narrated excitedly to her sister.

Still standing outside, I found myself laughing silently. Before I got carried away, I let myself unobtrusively into their room. My children were already used to my impromptu barging. One reason I used to go in unannounced was to keep them on their toes where issues of personal hygiene were concerned. Another reason was that we were used to each other's company. I seldom missed the opportunity to chat and play with my girls. We are so close to each other that my wife often gets jealous and call me a ladies man. That it seems I'm no longer married to her but our little girls.

I agree, and I love my wife so much. But for the fact that I'm so attached to my children is because since my wife got her dream job as a doctor in one of the biggest hospitals here, she's barely around. And it seems day by day, she gets so attached to her job, and barely has time for both of us. It hurts me, it hurts me so bad. But she's a hard worker, and hide my flaws by providing for our family when I can't, as I'm a local middle school teacher in my children's school.

"I'm so proud of you Dija" as she was fondly called. I smiled as I got in and wedged myself between Khadijat and Amira, her immediate elder sister. Amira was an epitome of beauty. She had a long dark hair,flawless smooth skin, and perfectly curved beautiful face that complimented her hour glass figure. Well, that's the gift you get from marrying a preety woman

As I got in they seized their discussion as if my intrusion had all along been anticipated.

"Thanks daddy" Dija said as she nestled even closer to me. She was my last child and consequently the sweet heart of the entire family. My first child was Akashi, fondly known as Kashi by his close friends. He was the first child and only male. Between Kashi and Dija there is such bond and affinity that no one dared scold at her no matter how great the offense when he was around.

And all of them called me Daddy. They didn't call me Papa like every other child in the community used for their father. They could call me kimi, whenever they wanted to sweet talk me into doing something for them. Which was incidentally the pet name my wife used for me. So I was Hakimi to everybody else, and Daddy and Kimi to my family, except Akashi who insisted on calling me Dad. I was never particular about how I was addressed, what I always insisted in my family was love and respect for each other.

"Listen ladies, all the new kid was trying to do was a little practice, maybe trying to practice his french thereby trying to perfect it, you never know. You should give him a break." I tried to point out

"Yeah right. Dija scoffed and rolled her eyes. He was trying to show off, and I put him right in his place." She concluded proudly

"You know it is not also fair to push people beyond what they know" I said rubbing her hair

"They're the ones who act as if they know everything daddy. Especially my biology teacher." Amira chipped in, pouting a little.

When our conversation gets deep, my children seemed to forget that I was also a teacher. But I never bothered reminding them. As I opened my mouth to speak I paused.

Just then, there was this loud knock on the door.

Before I could ask who is there, the person pushed open the door and jumped on me.

"I made it dad!, I got in!"...

Before I could speak, the person pushed the door open and jumped on me. From my side eye, I could see my daughters startle for a moment.

"I got in Dad. I got in." He shouted, happiness written all over his face as his brown eyes sparkled with joy

Amira stood up. "Whoa Kashi! You startled me for a moment. She held her chest and exhaled. What did you get?" She asked cocking her brows

"I made it into the university. Look dad! He said and handed his admission letter to me. Your big brother is now a university student." He smiled at his sisters

My daughters screamed and shouted with joy. The news came as a pleasant surprise to them. And especially to me. Nobody knew where Akashi was going when he left home in the evening. To say the truth he looked rather anxious when he came down for breakfast in the morning.

Now he stood happily. Bright smile written all over his handsome face. He was dressed in blue sweater and black jeans. The freckles on his cheek contrasted beautifully with his long hair which he got from me. It was packed in a neat bun. Akashi was always neat and trim, and I'm sure he has a lot of ladies trooping around him. To look at him, you would think he was into his twenties. But Akashi was just seventeen. My singular thrill with Akashi was that even though he didn't have the latest fashionable clothes, he was always decent and clean. This pleased me beyond measure.

Now I was more pleased as he handed over his admission letter to me. Although I wasn't fortunate enough to finish my university education due to financial issues. I would make sure I see my son throughout his studies. I smiled as I read through the letter. Admission to study Medicine in the University of Medical sciences, UAE.

This was exhilarating, all his mother dreamt of to have someone follow her footsteps.

"Kashi, what's your major?" Amira asked him.

"Look here young lady, he raised his brows at her. Address me with respect. Same goes for you and everyone in this house, except Dad of course. He said and gave me a light wink.

"Indeed! Amira said. Her voice was laced with sarcasm. This is called running before learning to crawl. University is not a bed of roses.. It's more difficult than you think."

"Did you hear her Dad? Akashi pointed at his sister. You're just plain jealous of me."

"Whatever" she mouthed to him.

"Big brother congratulations" Khadijat said turning to her brother and giving him a hug

"Aww thank you baby sister. For you there are no exceptions. You can address me whatever way you chose. But for Mira, I'll not tolerate disrespect." He winked at her.

Amira rolled her eyes, trying to shield the affection from him. In truth I knew both Mira and Dija loved and adored their brother so much. "Alright doctor, you got me. As long as I get treated in your hospital free of all charges." She muttered and we all burst out laughing.

"I'm so proud Kashi, I can't wait for your mother to hear the news. There would be a grand celebration today." I said as my brows began to furrow with worry.

"Okay Dad, he said picking Dija off the bed and he placed her on his lap. But no one should tell mummy of the admission before me."

"Why is that?" I asked him, looking closely at his face

"She promised to get me the latest Android phone once I get admitted." He said with a wide smile.

"No! There's no way mummy would get an Android phone for only you, she would get for us too." Amira blurted out

"Dad, you see jealousy from her. That's what that is stopping her from growing tall." Akashi teased and I burst out laughing forgetting my worries for a bit. This was one of the things I appreciated of my wife. She would shoulder things like this without reminding me that is my responsibility. She would fill out every loophole I left unattended to. And would never use it to spite me. I can't say we don't have any disagreement or fights because no marriage is perfect. But I could swear she was an epitome of perfection.

I allowed them to chastise one another for a couple more minutes, at least watching them distracted me from what I had in my mind.

"All I ask is that on one should spill the news before me." Akashi repeated his request on a warning note

"Alright. Nobody will spill your news, you would be the one to tell her first as soon as she arrives okay?" I said and rubbed his head lightly

"Thank you Dad."

"You're welcome." I said smiling at him lightly

The room was getting a little hot from the too much talking and activities. I ordered Amira to turn on the air conditioner. She did and sat back down and looked at me. "Daddy?" She called me

"Yes dear?"

"Why isn't mummy back yet?" She asked me

You really have to remind me that, I thought. "Akashi? I tapped him. What does the time say?"

"Seven minutes past eleven." He replied looking worried

At the sound of that my heart skipped a beat. This was so unusual. My wife had never been this long at work. I prayed silently that nothing had gone wrong. I hoped she was okay. Maybe she got into an accident. No! No! I shouldn't be thinking about that. "Maybe there was some emergency case. I spoke at last. You know the nature of her job. Being a medical doctor isn't easy."

"True" Amira nodded satisfactorily

"Daddy? Khadijat called, still laying on her brothers arms. Could you tell us a story?" She asked

Finally! I've got something to pull my attention away from negative thoughts. "Ermm, okay. But first let's get you both to bed" I said and began making their beds. Khadijat and Amira shared a bedroom, which Amira had told us it would end once she clocks 18. Akashi had his personal bedroom, which had gotten his sisters envious on several occasions.

Tugging them gently, I sat in between their bed, on the only chair in their room, Akashi sat in the floor. Clearing my throat repeatedly, I began.

"Once upon a time, in a deserted community...."

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••••••••••••••

"Dad? Akashi called his father as they walked down the staircase. It's almost twelve. Are you sure nothing has happened to Mummy?" He asked concern written all over his face

"Of course not. Why would you think of something like that?" He asked trying to sound courageous but the emotions in his voice gave him away

"I don't know. But she has never stayed this long. I'm having a bad feeling, I do hope nothing has gone wrong." Worried marks etched all over his face

Untying his long hair, Hakimi repacked it again and picked up his phone. He dialed his wife's number for the nineteenth time. It rang for few seconds and hung up. Still no reply. Tapping the space between his eyebrows, he tried not to think negatively. Should anything bad happen to his wife, his life would go back to the mess it was before he married her. "Damn it!" He slammed the table loudly with his palm.

Akashi turned sharply, startled by his father's sudden outburst. "Dad? Is everything alright?" He became suddenly frightened

"Ermm. Of course it is. I was...it...it...was nothing." He blinked rapidly to avoid any outburst that was coming

"Dad? Akashi made a long face and walked closer to him. Do you think mu..."

"I don't know Kashi! He cut him short because he didn't know how he would react if anyone queries such again. He was already at the verge of loosing himself. Placing both hands on his son's shoulders, he breathed rapidly, his heart was pounding so loudly in his chest. Look, he gazed in his son's eyes and could see fear. I'm as worried as you are now. Okay? But worrying won't help either of us, so instead of standing here and doing nothing why don't you grab your coat and let's go bring her back home okay?" He looked at him and saw his expression relax a bit.

"Okay Dad." His face brightened up a bit. Yes, that's the effect my wife had on us all. Akashi rushed upstairs to his room, while Hakimi walked to the cupboard to retrieve the keys.

Still waiting for Akashi, he headed towards the front door and glanced at the clock once more. It was forty minutes past midnight. His heart began racing again. Normally she's always back before eight.

"Kashi!" He called out a bit loud, so he won't wake up the girls.

"I'm here!" He sang as he descended the stairs with his black overcoat. Grabbing his coat, Hakimi twisted the door knob, and suddenly the telephone in the dining room began ringing.

"Can you grab that?" He turned and shut the door.

Rushing to the dining, Akashi grabbed the receiver." Hello, Rajvier's residence who is speaking please?"

[Hello, this is Dr. Parraj may I speak with an adult?] The voice spoke from the other end

"Dad, here you go." Akashi handed him the receiver

"Hello, Hakimi Rajvier speaking..."

[Hakimi! Your wife has been admitted into the emergency unit. I need you to come over immediately!..."

Hakimi's heart dropped as he heard the news over the phone. Without wasting a moment, Akashi rushed back to the dining room where his father was still holding the receiver. His son looked at him with wide eyes, sensing the urgency in his father's movements.

"Dad, what's wrong?" Akashi asked, concern evident in his voice.

Hakimi's mind raced with worry as he tried to compose himself. "We need to go to the hospital. Your mother has been admitted to the emergency unit," he explained quickly, his tone urgent.

Akashi's eyes widened further, shock and fear mingling on his face. "Emergency unit? Mummy? What happened? Is she okay?" he fired off questions in rapid succession.

"We don't know yet. But we need to get there as soon as possible," Hakimi replied, his voice trembling slightly despite his efforts to stay calm.

Grabbing his coat and car keys, Hakimi motioned for Akashi to follow him. They hurried out of the house, the night air cool against their skin as they made their way to the car. Hakimi's mind was a whirlwind of thoughts and prayers as he drove towards the hospital, his knuckles white from gripping the steering wheel tightly.

The journey felt like an eternity, each passing second filled with worry and apprehension. Akashi sat beside him, silent but visibly anxious.

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°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•

The screeching sound of their car came to a sudden halt in front of the hospital. It seemed to echo the turmoil in Hakimi's mind. Without bothering to close the car door, both Hakimi and Akashi rushed towards the reception area, their hearts pounding with anxiety and fear.

A beautiful blonde nurse greeted them at the reception desk, .

"Welcome, she smiled at them. How may I help you?" her calm demeanor contrasting with the urgency in Hakimi's voice

"Where's my wife? Where's my wife?" Hakimi's words came out in rapid succession, his eyes a reflection the dread that gripped him.

The nurse, with a mix of sympathy and professionalism, tried to calm Hakimi down. "Sir, please calm down. What's your wife's name?"

"My wife?... ermm.." Hakimi's mind was a whirlwind of emotions, making it hard for him to recall anything at the moment.

The nurse looked at him. Understanding the gravity of the situation. "Is alright sir. What's your name?"

"I... I'm Hakimi Rajvier. Please, just tell me where she is."

"That's quite easier sir. Dr. Rashvia was in the ICU, the emergency unit." Without wasting another moment, Hakimi and Akashi hurried towards the ICU.

As they reached the door, doctors and nurses were already entering the room, indicating the urgency of the situation. His heart raced faster. He grabbed man by the wrist.

"My wife? Where's Dr. Ravisha?"

The man took a brief glance at him and relaxed the grip on him." Sir, I suggest you wait outside here." He said and left them.

..............

Minutes felt like hours as they stood outside the ICU, the sounds of medical equipment and hushed conversations adding to the tension in the air. Finally, a nurse emerged from the room, signaling that they could enter.

What Hakimi and Akashi saw struck them.

.

.

.

inside the room was a sight that shook them to the core. Rashvia lay on the hospital bed, her once vibrant features now marred by injuries. Her face was swollen, masked with oxygen tubes and bruises. One of her legs was suspended, clearly broken and bandaged. It was a stark contrast to the image of health and vitality she usually exuded.

The shock and despair hit Akashi like a tidal wave, and he broke down in tears, his sobs echoing in the sterile hospital room. Hakimi, trying to stay composed for his son's sake, held him tightly.

"Come on son, don't be like this. Mummy is still alive. He swallowed a hard lump of saliva. His mouth suddenly went dry. She would not want to see you like this." He kept on whispering words of reassurance that their mother was still fighting.

...........

It was few hours to dawn, and the sky was still inky as dark clouds covered it. Akashi and Hakimi still sat fixed beside Rashvia bedside. Their eyes still wide opened though it had been sleep deprived.

The noise from the medical equipment was the only sound heard. As they were both heartbroken to say anything. Hakimi emerged from the private bathroom, he held a prayer bead on his hands that he was silently praying and meditating with.

"I've called Mrs Ramar, I told her to check up on your sisters when they wake up." He told Akashi, his face expressionless.

Akashi nodded lightly, at this point he was helpless and could only cry.

But as minutes passed, Rashvia's condition began to worsen. "Dad!...Dad!, what's happening to Mummy?"

Suddenly, her body began to vibrate and she began to convulse, blood trickling from her eyes.

Hakimi couldn't bear to see his wife suffer like this. Akashi rushed to his mother's side and burst out "Mummy, you can't go" he wailed another round while Hakimi rushed out,

"Doctors! Nurse! Could someone get in here immediately!" He demanded, agony written all over his face

They rushed in carrying equipment. "What is happening to my wife? He asked but got nothing reply. They were all busy setting up some equipment. Answer me!" He demanded sternly

"Sir, I'll need you to take your son and step outside." He said and began wearing a nose mask.

"I need to know what is wrong with my wife. Hakimi felt a surge of helplessness and desperation. Please, He pleaded with the doctor. do whatever it takes to save my wife?"

"Sir, do as you're told please." He repeated. Hakimi was hesitant and began moving towards the bedside. Suddenly a hand grabbed him forcefully and pulled him outside the ward. Akashi followed him behind.

.

.

.............

Inside the ward the doctors battled to save Rashvia's life.

The doctor explained the gravity of Rashvia's injuries, the internal trauma that was causing her organs to fail.

"She's bleeding internally. Her lungs has been punctured as well, so she can not breath properly. Charge that reviver".

"It's fully charged doctor."

"Hand it over. Raise her gown then move back a bit. Boom, he shocked her and checked her reaction for few seconds. Charge! He shocked her body again and observed her for seconds. Place this back." He handed the equipment to the nurse

"There's no visible improvement. What are we going to do?"

"Let's hope. Anymore revitalizing shock would dry up her organs."

In a last-ditch effort, the doctor administered injections, hoping they would stabilize Rashvia's failing organs.

But despite their efforts, the beeping of the heart monitor turned into a continuous flat line, signaling Rashvia's passing.

.

.

Outside the ward, everwhere fell into a heavy silence suddenly heightening Hakimi's fear.

"I don't like this. What are they doing?" He banged on the door, demanding answers, but deep down, he knew the truth. When the doctor finally emerged and her read their facial expressions, Hakimi's world shattered.

He grabbed the doctor, his voice choked with grief. "What happened to my wife? Tell me! Is Ravisha dead?" But there were no words that could ease the pain of loss.

"We tried our best sir" The nurse, overcome with emotion, could only offer tears and a sympathetic embrace.

Akashi stepped into the ward and saw his mother. His throat suddenly became dry. The hero of their home. Their best friend is gone. He knelt down and tried to break into a sob. But there was no more tears to cry. His face became red from agony.

Hakimi walked inside the room and saw Rashvia lay still, her battle over, leaving behind a void that no words could fill. Hakimi's heart felt like it had stopped along with hers, the weight of sorrow crushing him.

He began silently sobbing, walking to her bed he grabbed her bruised palm and placed soft kisses.

As he looked at Rashvia's lifeless form, memories of their time together flooded his mind. He remembered her laughter, her warmth, her love.

Hakimi and Akashi stood there, grappling with the enormity of their loss. It was a night they would never forget, a night that changed their lives forever.

---

~•~•~•~•~•~•~ Three months later~•~•~•~•~•

Months had passed since the tragic night at the hospital. The memory was still fresh, a haunting specter that loomed over their lives. Hakimi had to navigate the difficult path of being both a father and a mother to his children, Amira and Khadijat, as they tried to move forward despite the void left by Rashvia's absence.

One bright morning, the routine of their new life unfolded.

Akashi's voice echoed from upstairs, "Daddy, where's my school bag?"

"What? Amira laughed, it's his first day in university and you're still behaving like a baby."

"It's on your bed, Akashi."

"Whatever!. He answered his sister. Thanks Dad."

As Akashi rushed to grab his bag, Amira and Khadijat were already seated at the dining table, enjoying their breakfast of warm oatmeal and freshly squeezed orange juice.

"Hurry up with your breakfast ladies, So i can drop you off on time." Hakimi urged them gently.

After ensuring the children were ready for school, Hakimi dropped them off one by one. First, Akashi at his University. Hakimi felt a mix of pride and sorrow as he watched his son step into the world of higher education, knowing that Rashvia would have been overjoyed to witness this moment.

He was still staring after him when Khadijat tapped him lightly. "Daddy? Let's go."

"Oh, yes I'm sorry. " He turned the keys and the engine roared.

Next, Hakimi drove Amira and Khadija to their school. Their chatter in the backseat provided a brief distraction from the weight on his mind.

As he navigated through the familiar streets, Hakimi couldn't help but think about the life they had before Rashvia's passing. But he was determined to keep moving forward, for the sake of his children and the memories of the life they had shared.

Arriving at their school, Hakimi parked his car and took a deep breath.

"Alright ladies, off to class I'll see you during break time." He placed light kisses on their forehead and waved them off. Letting out a deep sigh, he took his bag out of the trunk and headed towards his staff room silently hoping for better days ahead, where the pain would lessen, and they could remember Rashvia with smiles instead of tears.