CHAPTER 1
Sariela Arguaza
"Ahh ..." I muttered when I felt Alexander's kiss fall on me. From my lips, to my neck and down to my bare chest.
The cold makes me sweat. this is the first time that I'll do this kind of stuff, and it's kinda uncomfortable.
He kissed me on the lips again. The surroundings were very quiet and only the sound of our kisses could be heard throughout the room.
"Uhm ..." I muttered.
"Uhh .." Alexander muttered as he continued to kiss me anyway. His hands are everywhere. Squat on my back, waist up to my chest and down again to squeeze slightly into my convex seat .
"You really have the perfect body, huh." Alexander said.
I did not answer him. Instead I just stared into his eyes full of lust. I smirked and kissed him again. This time, my hands also moved and landed everywhere.
during the time we kissed I did not realize that he had removed the only covering that covered my upper body. After he took it off from me he just threw it somewhere and then he took off his top clothes. then his medium -sized body was exposed to me.
I couldn't stare at his laughter when he reached out to kiss me again. Then again his kisses were inquisitive and seemed very thirsty.
"And cut!" down that his kisses on my healthy chest suddenly someone spoke and applauded, something I am grateful for.
The whole team of the movie we are shooting today continues to applaud. HOT MOMENTS. that's the title of the show we're taping now to be aired nation wide.
Various compliments were showered on us by our team.
Alexander agreed and just smiled.
while I immediately wrapped a blanket and got up to go straight to the bathroom, to clean my body and change my clothes.
I got up to go to the bathroom when suddenly Alexander spoke, from my side. "Where are you going?"
"Bathroom." I simply answered him and then passed him, I don't want to talk to him. I honestly didn't want to accept this project because the show was too daring.
This is the first time I have received a project whose content is too mature. many offer me this project, but I never accepted it. Because I have a boyfriend.
But this time, I accepted the offer. Even if I don't want to, I have to accept because the offer paid me a lot. And most of all I need money.
When I entered the bathroom, I went under the shower. I took a bath. I rubbed my body thoroughly, especially the parts that Alexander kissed. I'm sticky and I feel like I'm already filthy.
After I took a bath I took off my clothes to get dressed, when suddenly I glanced in the mirror. I could clearly see my whole body without a cover.
I approached the mirror and stared at myself even harder. I looked all over my body. When my gaze landed on my chest I saw the mark of our hot moment on taping.
I just gasped and asked myself. Am I really the one in my reflection in the mirror? Since when? When else have I been like this? This is not me.
If then my investment was just nice to have money, now it isn't. as well as my body I have made well investment of money.
Where did I promise myself then that I would never use my body to make money? Where is my position? Nothing. Disappeared like a bubble blown away by the wind.
I'm crying. That is the truth. earlier while Alexander was kissing me I really wanted to struggle and slap him. I really wanted to cry, but I couldn't do anything because it was my decision and I had to stand up for it.
i feel so low and i'm so dirty woman, i feel like i'm no different from women working at the bar to make money. That's all I feel at this time, and the pain it was. I can't accept myself.
I just stopped thinking of things with a knock on the door. "Ariel, aren't you done yet? Let's have a meeting," The director said.
I did not realize that my tears were flowing. I immediately wiped my cheeks and then dressed completely, then went out of the bathroom.
They were all sitting and I was the only one waiting when I caught up with them in the living area of the condo we were shooting at.
I immediately looked for a vacant seat, the first thing I looked at was the seat of Jared, my long time boyfriend. There was a vacancy next to him, but even before I could sit there, my manager was already there.
even though I wanted to appeal that I was in that position, I couldn't because direct had already spoken. "Sariela, sit beside Alexander."
With a sigh I walked over to Alexander's side. Even against my will, I couldn't do anything because this was the only vacant seat.
"Good job, Sariela and Alexander. I love your act. It looks so real." Direct's initial compliment to us. All of us immediately applauded, except for me and Jared, who now had his mouth tightened and his eyes sharpened.
I stared at him. he was not looking at me and his eyes were only focused on the chin. I knew he was angry.
I was shocked when suddenly Alexander hugged me and kissed me on the cheek in front of the production team. And above all in front of Alexander.
glaring eyes I stared at him and pushed him with all my might, causing him to fall off the chair. "What the hell are you doing?!" I shouted.
Laughing he went back to sitting and faced me. "What? What's wrong with that? Come on, Sariela.we have done worse than that and we will do worse. Okay. "
The nerve of this guy! "Can't you see? My boyfriend is infront of us! Respect for us and my boyfriend Alexander!" I shouted angrily at him.
how could he tell that to me infront of my boyfriend?! Yes I know. We've done worse before on taping, but even if we've done something else he should still learn to respect! Acting and actual happening are different!
I would have slapped him when direct pulled us away. "Enough, you too!"
Our meeting continued. Direct said a lot more about the Movie, but what caught my attention was what direct said.
"Sariela, next shootings might be your partner differently." Surprised, I looked at him directly. How else? I thought...
"What?!!" Alexander's buck immediately. We looked at him. "I-I mean ... did I think I was the leading man?" He immediately said.
What I should have asked direct he had already asked so I just listened to direct.
"Actually, no in our first meeting, Sariela's supposedly leading man was different, but unfortunately that time Aius Frosco isn't available, because maybe you knew the news then that he was going to marry his long time fiancé. So we took you Alexander for a replacement. "
"So this time, he's available? So I'll be put aside again? Is that it?!" I could feel his anger with every utterance of the word. I just don't know who he's mad at, direct or Aius?
"It's not like that, Alexander it's just- "even before direct finished what he was going to say, Alexander immediately stood up.
"Alright. Whatever you say, just call me for our next shooting." and he left immediately.
What a jerk!
That is also where our meeting ended and we were all allowed to go home.
To be continued...........
Chaper 2.
"Love." I called Jared when we were in the lobby of the condominium building. He didn't pay attention to me, since earlier when we went out of the condo we were shooting at.
"Love, please. Pay attention to me. Are you mad at me? Love, please don't be mad anymore. Huh?" I told him in a soft voice, but he didn't really pay attention to me. He just kept walking. And with the speed of his walk, I had to run a little more just to catch up with him.
"Love, don't be mad at me, anymore. Okay? Hmm?" I continue to own him.
I was surprised when he suddenly stopped causing me to run into his hard back. I almost fell, but that didn't happen because he immediately grabbed my waist.
"Don't be mad at you? Really, Ariel? Are you really telling me that? To think you had a kiss before! no, more than a kiss, Why don't you tell me how I can't be angry?!" He shouted angrily at me.
Alright, I know he's jealous, What else can I do with this trend of events in the industry I belong to? What can I do if I can only make money by kissing? Isn't he like me who graduated, is rich and has his own company as a source of money?
I really wanted to throw those words at him but I chose to just lower my head and apologize again. I don't want to let him hear that anymore because our fight will only get worse. I don't want us to fight because I'm hurting. I love him with all my heart.
I sighed first before answering him. "I'm sorry, Love. I'm sorry. I'm only good at this kind of job. I'm just good at acting. I'm sorry if I took that project even though I know you don't like that theme of my project. Sorry, Love. I just need money." After I said that, I smiled sadly at him. He, in turn, seemed dumbfounded at me.
I waited for him to say anything, but when he said nothing more, I started to enter the elevator. "Let's go, love I know you're tired from work. I'll cook you dinner. "I said smiling.
While we were in the elevator I was just quiet. He calmed down as well. That's how we fight just a moment as long as someone is wise to humble us.
Until the whole trip we were just quiet. from time to time he would ask me a question and I would answer it.
When we got to the opposite side of his condominium building, I immediately got out of the car, I couldn't wait for him to open the door for me.
I just waited for him to come out and then I started to walk inside the building.
We were right across from the elevator and everyone wasn't really talking to us.
I sighed. I wanted to talk to him, but something was holding me back. I want to see if he will talk to me, that he will be the first to speak. I want him to humble us now, always as I am.
The elevator door opened so I went in there. But I was so shocked that Alexander suddenly squeezed my waist.
"I'm sorry, Love. If I acted like that a while ago. Sorry. I understand you now." he whispered to me.
I smiled. "It's oka-" I couldn't finish what I was about to say when he immediately stretched closer to me and covered my lips.
I seem to have noticed something else in the way he kisses me now. That's searchable. But I just let him. He's my boyfriend anyway.
He kissed me so deep. And I kissed him back just like how he kissed me.
with his lips he opened my lips, then he inserted his tongues into it. He also barely sucks on my lower lip.
"Ahh .." I moaned slightly as his kiss descended from my lips to my jaw, neck, and further down.
his hands were moving as well. I would rub my chest and squeeze slightly there.
"L-love, we're in the elevator. Maybe someone will see." I said softly to him.
"Shh ...no one's here. "I couldn't answer him as he squeezed my body even closer to his body while he was still kissing me. When the lower parts of our bodies hit, I moaned when I felt the he lives pet. Shit! am I ready for this? I just asked myself.
"FUCK!"
Jared and I seemed to be burning when we heard someone speak. I immediately looked up and my eyes almost widened when I saw Aius Frosco.
Shit! What the fuck?! Embarrassing! I immediately crawled behind Jared out of embarrassment.
Annoying. why all the time we can meet, why now? In this situation we are still really!
It's Embarrassing! He's my ultimate crush. Wahh!
"What the fuck! Get a room guys!" He growled and shouted at us.
"Sorry man." Jared just laughed, then he pulled me out of the elevator and walked into his unit.
Before Jared and I finally entered his unit, I looked in the elevator to see Aius. He is so handsome. no wonder, many are obsessed with him. And I was one of them.
Our eyesight was right and I was almost out of breath when suddenly my heart pounded with excitement!
Before I could even look away from him Jared pulled me inside his unit.
as soon as we entered his unit he immediately leaned me against the door and started kissing me.
I kissed back. But I don't know, something is holding me back again. But I just put aside whatever I feel is holding me back. I let Jared kiss me. He hugged me so and then he walked over to the couch.
When he laid me down on the couch he immediately removed the shirt he was wearing and threw it somewhere. My heart was immediately filled with excitement. Shit? what's he doing?
when he kissed me again I averted my face from him.
"What, Love? Let's continue what we started." he whispered that and then just kissed me again but this time I pushed him.
he turned away from me and his eyes were dark staring at me, causing me to feel scared. "What?!"
"I-I'm not ready for this yet, Love. Let's take it slow please? We're not both ready for this yet." I said softly.
I was surprised when suddenly he punched the coffe table in the middle causing it to break and keep me stuck. "Take it slow?! Not ready yet?! Fuck! Sariel when will you be ready?! We've been together for a long time, until now nothing has happened to us!?" He shouted angrily at me.
I'm scared. I'm crying. But I was still able to answer his question.
"Love, that's not the basis of a relationship. Understand me. We're not really ready for that yet. No-"
"Stop it! Leave! You're useless!" he shouted at me and then turned his back on me.
I immediately burst into tears. It hurts.What can I do, if I'm not ready yet?
"Love, please don't be like this, oh." I begged him.
"I SAID LEAVE!" he shouted furiously at me.
I could do nothing but cry and just leave his unit.
I failed again! It's my fault again!
I really wanted to explain to him why I wasn't ready for such a thing yet, but I knew he wouldn't listen to me.
I took a taxi and went home to our house.
When we got home, I was even more hurt when Mama slapped me hard on the cheek.
"What? And you really went ahead with that project, huh?! Didn't I tell you never to take such a project?!" mama said to me.
"I'll pay a lot-" I stopped explaining when she slapped me again with great force.
"Just for the money you're going to fuck, huh!? Get out of here! We don't need you anymore!" mama shouted then left me alone crying in our living room.
It hurts. Why is this day so bad? What's wrong with me not being ready and what's wrong with my livelihood?
I have no other choice of a high -paying job that will match Dad's treatment and Mom's whims.
Why?! Why are they like that to me?
Why can't they understand me?
To be continued.....
Chapter 3
I entered my room crying. I was very hungry but I didn't care anymore.
My heart feels more pain than my stomach feels.
I've been tired all day, but when I come home that's how I'll be greeted? Where was my mom before?
Gone. I already remember. When my twin died, My mother also died. Her love for me has also died.
I wonder, if I died in that accident. Will mama be like that too? Will mama's treatment of Ariela be the same? Maybe, no. Ariela is her favorite because she is smart.
A few moments later I got up from the bed and went to my closet.
I took the suitcase upstairs then and started to take out my clothes one by one and put them in the suitcase.
after I packed I immediately stood up.
I am ready to leave all the memories this room has.
I looked around the room and smiled sadly.
Every furniture and corner in this room gives me sad and happy memories.
my closet which was my hiding place every time Ariela and I played, and every time my mom scolded me because I made my twin cry.
It's only now that I also realize and gradually accept to myself that from the very beginning. Ariela is the heavier one in Mama's heart. Ariela is always first. Ariela is not allowed to be hurt, not allowed to cry and not allowed to lose. Ariela is always the priority. While I? Nothing. They are all just Grandma I have, who also lost because of me.
My vanity mirror, where I often see my replica and that of my twin. where we always stand whenever she fixes my hair.
My study table that became Ariela's hangout, whenever she would do my assignments and projects.
I look very much in my bed. I stared sadly at my pillows. My blanket. my pillows are the ones I tell all my resentment, the ones that share all my tears, and most of all my blankets the ones that hug me whenever I'm sad.
Everything in this room reminds me of my painful and happy memories.
it's a pity and I'll leave it all.
I finally left the room and went down to the living room. I laid down on the sofa the things I would take with me to leave.
Before I finally leave this house, I want to say goodbye to mama and papa.
I went to mama and papa's room. When I entered there I only reached papa.
As soon as my eyes hit him my tears immediately fell.
"Well, I'm sorry. I'm sorry it's my fault why we lost Ariela.I'm sorry because of me, you're just lying there. I'm sorry I haven't been able to treat you yet. I'm sorry because what I did then has lost and changed a lot in our family that I will never be able to bring back. Sorry dad. Don't worry, I'll be back from work so I can get you treated. so you can have surgery. For ... for ... for you to hug Mama again. I'm sorry papa, I'm scolding you. "I just cried and cried as I said those words. My heart ached. I felt like I was being killed over and over again.
Blurred with tears I stood up to leave. but before I finally closed the door of their room Mama gave me one more glance. "I love you, papa. I'll be back. You and mama will be proud when I come back." that's all and I finally left the room.
when I got back to the living room I saw Mama drinking again.
I sighed and approached her. "Mom, that's okay please. Stop drinking. That won't be good for you, you might get sick."
"W-what's wrong with you!"
I tried to snatch the wine he was holding but she just shook my hand. "What! Let go of me! Don't bother me because it's all your fault! I'd better die after all, my daughter is gone, and my husband!" this time Mama is crying. And God knows how much it hurt me!
"M-ma, papa is still alive and I'm still here! Ma, I'm your daughter too!" I sobbing while I say that to her.
She laughed foolishly as the tears continued to drip. "Daughter? You're not my daughter! Because I don't have a daughter whore!" mama shouted.
"You kill your sister, you kill my daughter!"
the pain, the excruciating pain of feeling to hear that from mama, even though I'm used to it. The pain still in my heart.
"Go away! Don't come back here!" mama shouted at me.
I could do nothing in those moments but pick up my belongings. "M-ma, I'm leaving don't p-please worry. I will try m-ma, for when the time comes, so you can be proud of me and accept me. Sorry mama, I love you. "Even though I was sobbing.
I went out of our house, and from the outside I again stared at our house, the house where I grew up. Where Ariel and I grew up together, the only sad thing is that I am no longer with her now. Because it's my fault.
from here at the gate of our house I could still hear mama moaning and her calling Ariel's name. Until the end ... Ariel still is.
Even though I want to hug her. She doesn't want me. I was calm because mother Soling was there to calm Mama down.
I stayed there for another three minutes and then left. Leaving the house where I grew up, formed and crushed over and over again.
I'll be back, Ma, Pa. When the time comes I will return. I know you can forgive me....
To be continued........