How Did We Get Here?

Dear Diary,

It's the 3rd of February 2018, the luckiest page I get to touch after the longest time. Feels like I haven't written in ages. So rapid the mystical feather was found rubbing shoulders with your unique, bold, silhouettes, brown cover. Curling almost invisible in the middle of your golden words 'Her diary'. God, what am I saying, It's been only 48 hours you haven't grasp my inner voice ever since I took some time off. Probably it's just a cheap fur, coughned by my sister's sweater bought at the fake Gucci store. She likes over spending on useless staff that one.

Hell no scratch that. I didn't mean to say them. Please don't get me wrong, I'm not scolding my sister or anything. Although it looks like I can't bottle things up anymore. Not today and especially not with you too.

The truth is I'm not okay. I'm not okay at all that's why I couldn't write to you my diary. If I say I was overworking at the Hotel at these couple of days, way exhausted to lift a pen and write to you, I'd be lying. Perhaps I say, I got too distracted with my house chores and applying for an internship hasn't been easy so I was stressed? I'll be definitely lying.

I'm so not okay and not lifting a pen to write to you was the only way to distinguish what eating me. Infact I'm stll very pissed, I'm not even pissed I'm livid. The tolerance to bare a smile at my sister's fiance has finally reached my wits end. Yes, you heard me, my sister's fiance 'Silver',

Everytime, everytime I look at that limp my intenstines curls and shrinks away making me lose my appetite for the rest of my day. The audicity he had today to sideline my grocery list. Just because! he thinks my food was not healthy at all. Apparently it had no calories, no low cholesterol and certainly no proteins. And so the almighty Silver preached to me that I'm the unhealthiest being that he has ever lived with. Talking about the grocery list that was harshly worth $200. I bought! with my hardworking money of sweats, blood and tears.

Waitressing good for nothing wealthy people, who can't even give me a decent tip but busy laughing about their rich lives. Over a lousy cup of tear and their upgraded oysters nourished with expensive Olive oil.

Where would I be than? Standing on a sidewalk, waiting for them to finally order. Hungry like a deserted animal to serve 'The most fortunate'.

The food that He– does not contribute in. Except willingly okay to flash! his credit card to my older sister. Like his some dumb first time player that thinks he has to throw a bone for her and say "Catch!" like a dog. In order to sustain their love affair.

It's all clear to me that he doesn't even know the word 'investment'. As if he doesn't think his parents ever worked hard for what he has. Geez, shitty spoilt, wealthy kids who's only leeching off the easy inheritance.

The fact that we all chained to call him 'Silver' as his last name. It ties the knots in my stomach and actually wants me to gag right at his black HUGO BOSS formal shoe. And now we suffering because hey! Mr. owns a potion to one of the biggest Retailing and Services company worldwide.

Speaking about a dumb, airheaded, 24 year old who was possibly busy galavanting with the youth like other teenagers. Experimenting pots and weed. One day he happened to recieve the inheritance that fell at his lap and now he thinks it his intellectual two useless cents that placed him up there.

And oh I hate how he has turned my sister into a snob.

"Becca let's go and eat at the twelve stars Cafe, Becca carry my credit card It's so heavy. Becca pick any dress you like. Becca this, Becca that and oh, Becca I'm so glad that I rejected all the temptations, now I'll have my first child with you"

'I'll gag silently' It's like he thinks his a moistured vegetable that is untouched and pure. And everytime his hands lift to stroke his brunette hair. Arg! I want to vomit. I don't even want to mention his animated smile. If you know that popular character named, Aladdin is definitely him. Jesus, it's 's a plain torture. The guy doesn't even brush his teeth I swear but he likes laughing and smiling for hours like a lunatic. A stinky breath it's what I inhaled everytime he greets me "The beautiful Kenyan from Africa" I'd roll my eyes everytime he glances elsewhere.

Even my fiance is close at being broke for trying to meet up with his standards just because he want's to impress his exploding ego. My poor Jake, always trying to impress others before himself. I don't even know why we are friends with him. When did he became to be part of our circle so quick in a short span of five months?

And the worst part is; that we all have to play happy families. Don't get me wrong I really love my sister very very much. We almost like identical twins. But this–this double wedding spirit? I don't see it happening.

Jesus Christ, Becca needs to see for who he really is. A flat broke loser who's disguising as a glistening billionaire. I cannot stop suspecting this. Who forgets his wallets twice! at his two first dates? I keep reminding my sister that something is so fishy with this guy but no! she keeps covering for him. He cannot just be a billionaire at 24. He knows nothing about money, trading, let alone few coins. As brainless as him and expect us to believe him?....

(The keys shaffled at the door)

Silver, pauses from reading as his ears picks up an afar sound of somebody penetrating something behind the door. His hands are even trembling, covered by the sweats from his quickening pulse. The way his temperature has risen you can swore his DNA was hiding the hyperhidrosis that he suffers merely from time to time. If you don't know him well, you'd say It was his condition.

He lifelessly sat there cannot comprehend. Just by picking up this weightless fifty pages of a small Notebook. He never knew what he was digging himself into, because it's certainly feels like it weighs seven hundred pounds on top of his hands right now and he cannot seem to escape any of it. He grasps so shakingly in his throat it's like he could barely transfer air like he normally does.

His conscious flees from him. Leaving his masculine body in his gym tracks into an empty conflicted jar, whistling a two million nothings in it. He hasn't been on a gym yet but his mixed emotions has consumed his energy like his been running eight kilometres afar from home. In so much disbelief, even his head couldn't care to lift and look.

Either way he was already done reading the rest of that page as he continuosly sat there. Speechless, scanning the words repeatedly like it'll change the evidence of the writer's true colours.

"Silver?....Hello, Silver!" A feminine voice aproached repeatedly at the ears of Silver. The harsh sounds of the pouring rain, immediately showers outside. Right the second Kenya had just swiftly walked in soaking wet. Very slowly to Silver, his hearing is only poorly coming back.

"It's look's like I'm talking to myself here" She softly complain's alone. Not loud enough for the next person to hear. Devoted to hurriedly place away the oversize grocery bag. In her heart she's hoping Silver might offer to take them away as usual but that clearly was in her wildest dreams. Since she hasn't noticed Silver intently to realise he was only a statue at the grey couch in the lounge.

"I saw Becca at the Vickie's Tacos today, she never mentioned she'd give you keys" She spoke sharply with her sweet pitch, feminine voice. While taking off her shoes. She was clearly one of those soprano voices. Especially when she's been running, fast walking or under pressure. Strangely her voice intend's to be more hyper when her chest keeps closing in, with light gasps altogether, expelling from her breath. You can tell that she was fast walking all the way to their grany flat.

"Whoa! now I definitely need your help"

The bun almost fell out of the bag when Kenya was still trying to place everything in order, in a span of a minute. Putting away other necessities she carried roughly along the way. Piling them on top of the tiny table next to the doorway.

Until so quickly it dawns to her in that scrap of a minute, that Silver hasn't flinched on the couch. Usually his always the welcoming one, always open on helping out. And she quickly remembers the glimpse of something he has on his hands. The always suspicious and secretive Kenya rapidly bounces back from her insticts.To everything that glimpses like a paper to Kenya, held by anyone is so sensitive on her to whomever walks in here.

Her big upturned eyes popped out so wide to the grey couch direction. While she slowly continued to sift her drenching Afro. Smacking all the drops as some even fled to Silver's right arm and silently slept on it. Slowly they devoured rolling down to his skin and It's just reminded him that he really isn't dreaming and his too sure she was never going to say sorry for it.

"You so quiet today, you've been staring that document pa–per...." Her sharp brown eyes quickly zoomed passed to his thumb and immediately her stomach intestines, tightened like she has been punched and her energy level dropped like it will result to her death bed,

"Oh wait, Is that a diary?"

But Silver remains to be sat blankly, morosing at the TV screen as he sneered like he was being born again. It's all the clear confirmation now. "So....you familiar with it?" He flatly asked. Finally ready to lift his head up and gaze at his most beloved soon to be Sister-in-law.

And the second their eyes finally clashed, by the look at Silver's shimmering eyeballs, reflecting little waters that's was aproaching to surface out, instinguished by some burning mystery of feelings that Kenya couldn't comprehend.

There we're no longer crystal white like his usual first glance that would always captivate's every lady he meets. Humbly golden brown when his sat at the deamed room, but interestingly Hazel when his exposed at the sun. Oh yes, surprisingly Kenya knew all his pupils colours, and nobody knew that she did.

Although this time Kenya couldn't understand the colour that's there were at this moment and they were sharply burning a profound redness.

A deep dark, colour hovered in his iris. Even so; they we're so rapid to connect to her subconscious insticts and she just immediately downcasted her own to the floor, like she already knew the meaning.

The visible heave of Kenya's chest start's to be noticeable as she drags to say the next words. Wrestling to stay calm and responds back. Being consumed by a thousands of questions that's are screaming in her head. "Did he really read it? What will I do if he did? No he didn't, damnit Kenya! how can you forget your diary! He couldn't read it. It's a diary, nobody reads diaries" Swiftly she breakthrough verbally and harshly exclaimes,

"That's my diary!, what are you doing!" Her long legs in grey jeans, shockingly speeds off to him. Ditching her brown coat down and her one sneaker from Nike, still hanging on the one left foot. Hurrying like her feet we're never swollen from standing 8 hours at the Hotel. Waitressing her last shift, last night and from standing the longest Qui at the Home affairs this morning just to apply for a new National I.D that she unfortunately lost at the Cab, she believes. And not to mention the Qui at the Food's Market she visited today just to purchase grocery.

With so much speed her feet slightly trips from such careless without even surveying her surroundings on the lounge by the teddy bear she got early this February from Jake, especially for the upcoming Valentine's day. Tangles her feet and her whole mass of the body fumbles almost trashing to Silver's exact seat but her hand stabilize's her captive. Thats how she woke up, finding herself rising up into Silver's chest. Her hand postured exactly to lean and block before they could clash into each other's flesh.

Now they are face to face, slowly Kenya expels a bated breath. Rising up to the Silver's eyes upclose and his not entertained at all. She quickly tossed away her hand from his bold, mainly chest. The creeps flushing in her skin, rapidly runs through her veins as she slightly shakes off her shoulders with her eyes again and rudely snatched away the brown, silihouttes diary in Silver's left hand.

Speechless moment hushes at the big walls of the lounge only for seven seconds, before Kenya murmmered,

"You can't just pick up somebody's diary, what the heck?"

She said this while her eye sight still so attached to the floor. Her heart's beating so fast that her knees are yielding to jerk. Haunted by the unknowing of what really happened for these past hours after she left. Or perhaps this very minute she caught him glued at it. But for what her fingers are feeling, sliding at the wet hard cover of her diary, astonishes her; wondering if he just poured water over it.

Silences slowly streches as she steals a gaze at his hands and her eyebrows pushes together. Realising his veins were naked wild and throbbing across his wrists. By the looks of his hands abnormal wetness, it's all clear that it's his sweats that's were imprinted to her diary's cover. She tries to convince herself that it may be that he comes from the gym but within her inner self she's aware that's not true. She knows Silver very well than she let's on. Silver quickly nods as he realises in that twelve seconds after listening to her statement. That she'll never have a clue of what just happened.

While both on standby, from her side it's hard to even flinch now. Kenya silently notices his hands suddenly disapearing from his track pants, deep in his pockets. The volume of his breathing breasking notes. His sweaty hands is the confirmation of his agitated energy. She's grasping all that while her eyes were still frozen down, clutching the same diary and all she could analyse was his body downward. At that exact moment, she finally realises what just happened.

Silver swifly leaves her on the spot, like the wind scratching him out as if he was never there to begin with. With no small report from him said to farewell his Sister-in law.

"Silver" Kenya calls out on him, but her feet becomes a concrete mud to even shift a bone forth so she could aproach and explain to him. "Sil...."

Even her mouth is suddenly leading no where, like her jaws are posessed with stroke. Stuttering the words in her mind, she cannot understand how is this possible. How did this got here? how did her diary got here? " He must've read it. He cannot be like this if he never read It. Oh mother he knows, it looks like he knows everything" Her inner voiced trembles inside of her, growing timid.

"Did you–did you read everything?" There she mangaged to finally drag her jerking legs, watching Sliver quickly pulls out a couple of drawers looking like he was in a desperate search of something but she's only desperate to find out if he read everything.

"You know it's crazy when we write diaries, we write anything you know"

Her few seconds of ochestrated courage, gives her a horse backbone to speak out for herself and expecting a smooth answer from him. She knows Silver, his very witty, aloof, open minded and considerate. Grudges do not stick with him for long, this too shall be quickly forgetten and he'll brag about business later.

She's thinking all that while standing in the middle of the lounge, with one shoe still much holding onto her foot. Silver is seen lifting the bunch of keys, taken out from the fifth drawer at the unit stand, upholding a 45 centimitre Television. Took out the silver key from his red tracks on the pockets from his pants. A name design from his right hip, stood out with it's shiny legitimacy, attracting from afar. Named 'Era Galaxy' mesmerizing with white italics written in it.

Now that was Becca's favourite area of his muscle package to look at. Standing 2 feet tall. A thick long legged young man with rigid muscles at the right places. Slim yet too thick to learn to be a proffessional dancer overnight if he wanted to but his figure was far from being a stuck up. You know those slim figured flexible males with just the right amount of six packs. As for the arms they're were the ones bigger and his back.

He lifts hundred pounds per day after work, so it's no wonder. He has the bulky, ....? back that's bigger than the size of his clothes.

She notices him, clipping back the single key to one of them and neatly placed them back. "The need to do that is unnecessary, Becca must've given you for...." She cuts, seeing him quietly, fast walking to the door. Willing to be hit by the cold, heavy rain.

Sadly even if his sport's tracks had no sleeves in his arms. Kenya mumbles cannot seem to express the words that's were eager to flee out. Her jaws jamming, her throat exceedingly going dry. In her head she's frustrated for dragging to say anything. She's screaming out for attention. Actually she's gaging because she cannot decide what to scream out for.

Seeing Silver is about to perish in front of her eyes.

Her lungs cave even more and the speeding of her heart is about tear the walls of her soul. She's so confused at how this is all possibly happening. Why today, why now? why did she even wrote it down. Just when when her feet we're about to follow behind him. He suddenly halted his feet and stopped right there in the middle of an opened door. Even when the cold blistering wind waa harsh on his skin, the boiling sensation on his body numbs it into an ordinary summer as the wind slips away from the door and across his body.

The pattern of that coldest air, subtly harsh 's in Kenya's jeans making her legs tighten muscles like she's catching ice. And Kenya slowed down after seeing a little progress of the change of his mind and she's thinking maybe this is her chance. But the chance that she's so terrified of, at what he'll turn it to be. But Silver just stood there almost finishing a whole minute without turning to say anything. While Miss Diary rehearses at what she'll mutter.

"How do you do it?" Her eyes blinked a few times as if his words just blew dust directed in her face, but it was only the mass carried by his words that affected her in any way he could have said them "Huh?" She stuttered. Silver finally let's go the door and turns over, to darn straight look at her. The door quickly swing's by the wind and shut's back itself.

Kenya's eyes couldn't help but to downcast again, heavy notes of her breathing, dashing warm between her stuttering lips. Poor Kenya even her mouth has became so dry, trying to mouth something but nothing seems to be responsive yet. Her mind is frozen dead she still cannot believe he knows everything. "Silver knows everything?" She pinched the base of hand, trying to wake up in a dream that she strongly believes it is a dream. It should be a dream. I keep my diary in a safety drawer, nobody usually touches.

"Should I ask again?" Silver's awakens her with his deep voice, so deep that it sounded like he had pushed the bass, to throb in her ears. Seeing she was dragging to answer and he was not interested to know why. "No, N–No" She grasped so shook, inhaling the air that could fill the whole tank of water that her stomach really needed. "I mean, do what?" She finally remembers the question asked thirteen seconds ago and finally forced herself to take a glimpse at at Silver's face.

"Pretend" He softly utters. While his eyes pierced without a flinch of movement, staring straight at her and Kenya's few seconds of glimpse, that she was trying to steal from him. It deadly turned into a fail, as her face denies to even bows away. Her eyeballs stuck in their sockets, drawn in by Silver's emotional, burning stare. The stare that had eyes that's were drowning in darker shades inside his pupils. A shade that is so deep, drawing her to be part of what he feels and quickly they took her back from these past three months.

Not the first month that her sister introduced him to her but the last week in November 2017. It was half past Seven in the morning she still remembers. The day on Saturday that he bumped into him at the Internet Sweet Cafe before Becca could finally let them meet. On the next week on the following month.

Of which was Sunday around 8pm, pushing an entrance door with so much power as she happened to be mentally dwelling at her own thoughts. Sat ankle crossed at the softest single couch. Next to the tall window shield at the penthouse.