Chapter 1 WHISPERS IN THE DARK l

The night ended the way too many had lately-with me stumbling through the apartment door at two in the morning, half-drunk and exhausted, my heels dangling from my fingers. Ethan was already home, of course. He always was. My aloof, impossibly brooding roommate who seemed to operate on a completely different schedule than the rest of humanity.

He looked up from the couch, where the faint blue glow of his laptop screen cast shadows across his sharp jawline, and gave me that unreadable nod of his. No lecture about coming home late. No questions about where I'd been or who I'd been with. Just... watching. The way he always did, with those dark eyes that seemed to see straight through every defense I'd carefully constructed.

I muttered something incoherent about it being a long night and disappeared down the hallway toward the bedroom we shared.

Yeah. Shared.

A single oversized bed with nothing but a pathetic line of decorative pillows acting as the world's flimsiest border between us. It was supposed to be temporary, we'd told ourselves when we first signed the lease six months ago. Cheaper rent, we'd rationalized, living in a city where a decent one-bedroom cost more than most people's monthly salary. Completely harmless, we'd pretended with straight faces while the landlord explained the apartment's quirky layout.

But every single night, I lay there mere inches away from him, close enough to feel the warmth radiating from his body, close enough to hear the subtle changes in his breathing, wondering what it would feel like if he finally stopped pretending to ignore the tension crackling between us like a live wire.

I crashed onto my designated side of the bed without bothering to change out of my clothes-a short skirt that had ridden up during the cab ride home and a lacy camisole that suddenly felt too thin, too revealing. The alcohol still had my head spinning in lazy circles, but not enough to quiet the restless ache that had been building inside me for weeks now. My body felt overheated, hyperaware. My thighs pressed together almost involuntarily as I tried to find a comfortable position.

I must have passed out for an hour, maybe less, before my bladder dragged me rudely back to consciousness. Groggy and disoriented, I stumbled to the bathroom, splashed cold water on my flushed face, and then made the mistake of lingering in front of the mirror.

My reflection stared back-cheeks pink, lips slightly swollen from biting them, hair a mess of waves falling around my shoulders. I looked disheveled in a way that made me think of things I shouldn't. Messy kisses. Strong hands tangled in hair. Whispered confessions in the dark.

I shook my head, trying to clear the fog of wine and want, and padded back to bed on bare feet.

Ethan had shifted while I was gone. He was turned on his side now, his back to me, his breathing deep and steady like he'd already surrendered completely to sleep. I slid carefully back under the covers, hyperaware of every sound I made, every shift of fabric.

My body still hummed with restless energy-too much wine, too many crowded thoughts, too many nights lying next to him and wondering what if. The ache between my thighs hadn't faded. If anything, being back in bed next to him had made it worse.

I lay there for what felt like an eternity, staring at the ceiling and listening to him breathe, my heart beating too fast, my skin too warm. Every nerve ending felt electrified, sensitive. I was acutely aware of the bare inches separating us, of the heat of his body so close to mine.

Without really thinking about it, I shifted slightly closer, telling myself I was just trying to get comfortable, just adjusting my position. My shoulder brushed against his arm-the lightest contact, barely there at all.

And then I felt it.

His hand.

At first, it was just a presence, a weight that seemed to land against my ribs almost by accident, like he'd moved in his sleep and it had simply settled there. My heart stuttered in my chest, then started racing. I held completely still, barely breathing, wondering if he was actually asleep or if this was intentional.

Then his fingers twitched, just slightly, brushing against the curve of my breast through the thin lace of my camisole.

Every muscle in my body tensed. My nipples hardened instantly in response, pressing against the delicate fabric. Heat flooded through me, pooling low in my belly.

I didn't move away. Didn't push his hand back to his side of the bed. Instead, I did something either incredibly brave or completely reckless-I shifted just enough that the already-loose neckline of my top slipped lower, the lace sliding down my shoulder.

Testing. Offering. Silently asking a question I wasn't sure I wanted answered.

His hand stilled for a heartbeat, as if he were weighing something, making a choice in the darkness. Then, slowly, deliberately, his thumb grazed across my nipple through the lace in a stroke that was absolutely, unmistakably intentional.

A jolt of pure electricity shot through my body. My thighs clenched involuntarily as warmth bloomed between them. I bit down hard on my bottom lip to keep from making a sound that would shatter whatever fragile moment this was.

God, he was touching me. After months of careful distance and studious avoidance, Ethan was actually touching me.

His fingers moved again, exploring with agonizing slowness, tracing the curve of my breast through the increasingly inadequate barrier of lace. Each touch was gentle but purposeful, sending waves of sensation cascading through my nervous system. My breathing wanted to quicken, wanted to give me away, but I forced myself to keep it slow and even, maintaining the pretense of sleep even as I burned alive under his hand.

Then his palm cupped my breast fully, his large hand warm and solid, and I nearly lost the battle with my self-control. The weight of it, the possessiveness of that simple gesture, made me ache everywhere.

His thumb circled my nipple again and again through the lace, a maddeningly light touch that had me fighting the urge to arch into his palm, to beg for more pressure, more contact, more of everything.

I could feel myself getting wet, heat and need building with each passing second, my body responding to his touch in ways I couldn't control or hide. My heart hammered so hard I was certain he could feel it against his palm.

And then, suddenly, his hand froze.

I felt the exact moment hesitation crashed over him like a wave. His fingers trembled slightly against my skin, caught between desire and restraint, between what he wanted and what he thought was right. His hand hovered there for several agonizing seconds, neither pulling away completely nor continuing his exploration.

The war playing out in that stillness was palpable, thick enough to choke on.

I stayed perfectly still, my body screaming in frustration, every nerve ending on fire and begging for him to make a choice. My breast tingled where he'd touched me, my thighs slick with need, my pulse throbbing insistently between my legs.

The silence stretched out, heavy with everything we'd been avoiding for months, weighted with all the words we'd never said out loud.

That's where it stopped.

That's where the moment suspended itself, unresolved and aching.

I lay there in the darkness, pretending to sleep while my body tingling with want, feeling the ghost of his touch still burning on my skin, the air between us charged with the weight of a confession neither of us was quite ready to speak into existence.​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​