Chapter 1 You're A Badass

VANESSA

The cool evening breeze dances through my red hair as I speed across the bridge, strands flying into my face and blocking my view. I can barely see, but honestly, I don't care. Tears sting my eyes, blurring my vision even more. It is dangerous. I know it is, but my day has already been a total train wreck. What's the worst that could happen now?

This afternoon, I walked into work feeling good, my usual upbeat self. But then that creep Charlie, my branch manager, decided to ruin it. He has been making sleazy passes at me ever since I started working at the bar six months ago, but I've always brushed him off politely. Today, though, he crossed the line. He dared to grab my butt with his filthy hands. Without even thinking, my hand flew to his face, landing a slap so loud it echoed in the bar.

"You are fired! He roared, his face red with rage, as the customers stared.

I didn't let his words faze me. I grabbed my bag and strutted out like I didn't have a care in the world. But now? Now I'm falling apart. I've got rent overdue, a landlord breathing down my neck, and three younger siblings depending on me. To top it off, I'm drowning in debt from the loan I took out for my late mom's hospital bills. My life is a mess, and I have no idea how I'm going to keep it all together.

The only bright spot? My boyfriend, Dave. Right now, all I want is to be in his arms, to feel like everything is going to be okay.

When I pull into Dave's driveway and see his car in the garage, relief washes over me. At least he's home. I twist the doorknob and step inside, calling out his name. Nothing. The living room is a mess, his jacket's tossed on the floor, and I can hear the shower running upstairs.

He's probably in the bathroom.

Smiling through my tears, I head up to his room, hoping to surprise him. But as I walk in, it's me who gets the surprise. My heart stops. Through the glass of the bathroom door, I see Dave in the shower with Alicia, his next-door neighbour.

My stomach churns as I watch him, water cascading down his body while he thrusts into her. At first, I couldn't move. My blood boils, my hands clenched at my sides until my knuckles turn white.

"How dare you! I scream, storming into the bathroom, not caring that I'm getting soaked. Dave's head snaps toward me, his jaw dropping like he's just seen a ghost. Alicia shrieks, trying to cover herself, but I don't even look at her. My fist connects with Dave's face before I yank Alicia by her hair. "Please let me go", she screams in agony. I can't bear seeing someone in pain. I'm not a monster, though these two want to turn me into one. I let go of Alicia's hair and walked out of the bathroom.

"Vanessa, wait! It's not what it looks like! Dave stammers, stumbling out of the shower with water dripping off him, his...uh, d**k dangling like an idiot.

"Not what it looks like? I shout, shaking with anger. "You've been telling me for three years that we have to wait for marriage, but this is what you've been doing behind my back? My voice cracks as tears spill over. I feel so cheated. I've always wanted Dave to touch me, to pleasure me in the ways my body yearned; on those nights, my hormones rose so high, but Dave would always turn me down."We have to be celibate", he would often say.

"Babe, listen", he starts, but I cut him off.

"Don't even try it. Am I not good enough for you? Is it my body? Are my boobs too small? Is my butt not big enough? I demand, my voice trembling.

Dave just stands there, silent like the coward he is. Before he can open his mouth, Alicia chimes in with her annoying, smug voice.

"You're just not his type, sweetie".

Her words hit me like a slap in the face. I look at Dave, waiting for him to deny it. To fight for me. But he doesn't say a thing. My heart shatters into a million pieces.

"F*** you! I spit, kneeing him in the groin so hard he doubles over, groaning in pain. Then I grab my keys and storm out, leaving him and his side chick behind.

********

Back in my car, I drive aimlessly, my head spinning. How could he do this to me? After everything I've done for him, paying his medicals when he was sick and out of funds in law school, being his rock when he needed me. I feel like a complete fool. My chest tightens, and I scream at the top of my lungs, tears blurring my vision again.

Finally, I pull over on the side of the road, unable to go any further. My hands shake as I grab my phone and call my best friend, Cassie.

"Hey, girl! Cassie's cheerful voice fills the line, but I can't even speak. I just sobbed.

"Vanessa? What happened? she asks, alarmed.

" Dave, I manage to choke out. "He...he cheated on me. With Alicia". My voice cracks as the words leave my mouth.

Cassie gasps. "I knew there was something shady about him! All that good boy talk? Please".

"I was so stupid, Cassie. I didn't see it. I believed him!

"I'm so sorry, girl", she says, her voice soft but firm. "Where are you?

"Brooklyn Bridge", I whisper, my voice barely audible.

"I'm coming to get you", Cassie says without hesitation. "Stay right there".

For the first time all night, I feel a tiny bit of hope. Cassie's got my back. And maybe, just maybe, I will survive this heartbreak after all.

Soon enough, Cassie's sleek BMW rolls up behind me. She steps out, flicking a half-smoked cigarette onto the pavement like she's done with it-and the world too.

"Hey, girl," she says softly, her eyes brimming with sympathy. "You look like a hot mess."

"Tell me about it." I sniff, my voice trembling. "I gave him everything, Cassie. Everything. I cooked, I loved him with my whole heart, I cared for him... and this is how he repays me?" Tears spill over as my chest tightens, and I crumble right there.

Without missing a beat, Cassie opens my door and slides into the passenger seat. She wraps me in a warm hug, stroking my hair like a big sister would. "I'm so sorry you had to see all that today," she whispers.

"I don't deserve it, Cassie. I didn't." My voice cracks under the weight of my words.

"You're damn right, you didn't." Cassie's tone sharpens as she pulls back, her jaw tight with anger. "If I ever run into that low-life, I'll make sure he never walks straight again. I'll crush his damn balls!" She punctuates the threat with a mock punch in the air.

Despite myself, I let out a small laugh. "You're wild," I say, shaking my head as a faint smile tugs at my lips.

"But seriously," Cassie says, handing me a crumpled tissue. "What's the plan now?"

"I don't even know," I mutter, wiping at my puffy eyes. "Today's been the worst. I lost my job too, Cassie. It's like the universe hates me."

Her expression softens again, and she squeezes my hand. "I'm sorry, girl. That's rough. But hey, you'll find something better. You always do."

I sigh, rubbing my temples as a headache begins to brew. "Where were you headed before I called?" I ask, finally noticing her red-hot party dress and killer heels.

Cassie's face lights up. She pulls out her lipstick and re-applies it like she's painting a masterpiece. "Club Quilnox, baby! Do I look fierce or what?"

I roll my eyes. "Cass, you'd cause a traffic jam looking like that."

"You bet I would," she grins. But then her smile turns mischievous. "And guess what? You're coming with me."

"Hard pass." I shake my head, slumping back.

Cassie lets out a dramatic sigh. "Girl, do you want to go home and cry into your pillow over that jerk? Or do you wanna hit the dance floor, forget about him, and remind yourself you're a badass?"

"I'm not a club person. You know that."

"Well, tonight you are," she says, determined. "Shake it off, girl. Let's go!"

Before I can protest again, Cassie drags me out of my car. Fast forward ten minutes, and I'm in her apartment, squeezed into a little black dress that leaves zero room for complaints.

"Chin up, babe!" she chirps, swiping bold black eyeliner across my lids. "We're making a statement tonight."

Satisfied with my look, we head to the club. The place is buzzing, packed wall-to-wall with energy. Cassie greets a group of people with her signature charm, while I shuffle behind her like a lost puppy.

"Lighten up, Ness!" she yells over the thumping music, dragging me to the dance floor.

And before I know it, we're moving, laughing, and just letting loose. The music pulses through me, drowning out every heartbreak, every worry. For the first time since I left Dave's house, I laugh. Laugh so hard, taking shots of whisky

By the time I stumble into my house, it's almost 3 a.m. The place is as quiet as a graveyard, and I figure my siblings are fast asleep.

"Anybody home?" I mumble, swaying as I grip the wall for balance.

The only answer is silence. My feet wobble as I make my way to my room, and when I finally collapse face-first onto the bed, it's game over.

"Ugh," I groan into my pillow, my head spinning like a Tilt-A-Whirl. Within seconds, sleep pulls me under, and I'm out like a light.