Chapter 5 JASON'S DESICION

Jason observed that Ailee was fast asleep in her room. Tonight, Jason will sleep in the living room and give Ailee privacy. He knew that it would take Ailee quite a long time to calm her mind. Tomorrow morning, they must meet Ailee's parents and discuss this problem.

"I don't know what Mr. Dawson would say if he knew about this... Then, what about my father?"

Jason went to the balcony, he then pushed open the door to the balcony and sat on the lounge chair that was there. He stared at the cellphone screen, which he hadn't touched in a while. Fifty-seven missed calls and forty incoming messages, in the name of Paula, his new girlfriend, then he opened all the messages from Paula and took a deep breath.

'Where are you? Why don't you answer my calls?'

'Are you still not done accompanying your friend?'

'Who is your friend? How dare she steal my time with you?'

'Honey, where are you? I saw your secretary, he said you won't be coming back to the office today...'

'Why didn't you answer my call? You want me to break up with you? Fine, let's break up!'

'Honey, I didn't mean it when I said I wanted to break up, I'm sorry, please answer my phone, okay?'

Jason's mind was in a dilemma as he scrolled through his phone. He couldn't help but think about what to do with Paula's confession of love. He knew that he couldn't possibly be married and at the same time dating someone else. As he rubbed his face with one hand, his thoughts drifted back to the time when he first met Paula, several months ago, during an important meeting with one of his clients at a hotel.

Being in the hotel sector, Jason often had to step in directly to meet big clients and carry out negotiations that needed to be agreed upon. And that's when he met Paula Maurice, who worked at the hotel as a receptionist. She had fallen in love with him at first sight and was always doing everything in her power to make Jason interested in her.

It wasn't easy for Paula to get Jason to agree to her request for a date.

"Mr. Jason, if you don't mind, I would like to get to know you better," she said nervously. Jason was surprised to hear her request and was taken aback by Paula's bravery in conveying her feelings.

However, one of their senior colleagues shouted at Paula, "A lowly employee like you, conveying your feelings towards someone as important as Mr. Jason? Aren't you embarrassed?" Paula was displeased by the senior's comment and replied, "I'm just conveying my feelings, is that wrong?" Jason, on the other hand, laughed and responded with a wise answer.

"There's nothing wrong with conveying feelings. Aren't we all human? Everyone has the right to express their feelings, right?" However, this response boomeranged on Jason as Paula began to use this as an opportunity to approach him on various occasions.

Despite being considered shameless by many, Jason saw Paula as an innocent girl who was in love. However, he knew that his heart would never change and that it would always belong to Ailee, the woman he had secretly loved for years. He often thought to himself, "If only I could express my feelings like Paula, maybe I would be on Ailee's side, not Jeremy's." One day, Paula took Jason to a market and confessed her feelings on a Ferris wheel in the center of the crowd.

She suddenly grabbed Jason's neck and gently kissed him on the lips, saying, "I like you, Mr. Jason. Even though others call me shameless, I still like you." Although Paula's confession made Jason feel a little uncomfortable, he couldn't deny that she had an attractive appearance. She had white skin, a tall slender body, long wavy brown hair that reached her waist, enchanting blue eyes, and sensual lips.

Her fingers looked slender and graceful when she worked in front of the computer, and any man's eyes would be drawn to her. However, Jason's heart already belonged to someone else - Ailee Dawson, the woman who had occupied his heart for nine long years.

Jason told Paula, "Listen to me, Paula. Maybe you will regret confessing your feelings to me. To be honest, I never felt attracted to you. You always come into my life as you please, and you control me because I'm not someone who can easily reject other people. I need to tell you the truth - I already have another woman in my heart, whom I have guarded for a long time."

Jason was surprised when Paula seemed unfazed by his rejection.

"Yes, I already knew that when I was finding out about you," she answered while looking away. Paula stared at the hustle and bustle below, watching the crowd at Pasaraya, which was one of the most interesting places in Europe. There were many romantic moments that all girls and women looked forward to, and Paula was no exception.

As the Ferris wheel started moving again, Jason caught sight of Ailee and her boyfriend walking intimately arm in arm. His heart beat violently, and the fire of jealousy burned within him. He wondered if he should just accept Paula and move on from Ailee. After all, she would soon marry Jeremy, so what was he waiting for?

Jason felt doubt for a moment, but he knew he couldn't covet a woman who belonged to someone else, even though it would be hard for him to let go of his feelings. They reached the bottom of the Ferris wheel, and Jason's heart was restless, and his mood had disappeared.

He asked Paula to come back immediately, saying, "Let's just go home. I don't want to stay in a place like this any longer. I feel short of breath." Paula nodded and complied with Jason's wishes. The atmosphere in the car was very quiet, and Paula didn't want to disturb Jason. She sensed that Jason might be angry with her confession of love or that he was feeling disturbed. Suddenly, Jason spoke with a straight face, "I'm telling you, Paula." He drove the car casually as the streets of Paris were busy at this hour, and he had to be more careful.

"I'm not a man who easily falls in love with someone. If you want to have a relationship with me, I'm not the type of man who likes spoiled girls. I hate someone who digs into my past and pressures me with those problems. I don't like being investigated, and I'm not someone who can easily accept others," Jason told Paula. He paused for a moment and glanced at her, and she seemed to be listening intently.

Her eyes were looking straight ahead, but her ears seemed to be listening carefully to every word he said. "But if you want to try and conquer my heart, go ahead and try. We'll see how strong you are to conquer my heart, Paula," he added. Despite Jason's warning, Paula's feelings for him grew stronger, and they started dating secretly. However, Jason knew that his feelings for Ailee would never fade away, even if he had her in his life.

Now, Ailee was asking him to marry her, but he knew that he couldn't have her feelings even if he had her. He couldn't bring himself to tell Paula the truth about his feelings, knowing that it would only lead to something bad. Jason cleared his throat softly and looked at his phone screen, reading through all the messages that Paula had sent him. He took a deep breath and thought carefully before finally making a decision, which was truly complicated.

'Dear Paula,

You are a beautiful girl who is very brave.

With your courage, you may have the world, but one thing you will never have.

Namely my heart...

I really can't go through this with you.

My heart can't live, what I can't live.

I don't have any feelings for you.

Therefore, I beg you, forget me and forgive me...'