Chapter 4 VANISHING

Christian knew him from the stories circulating the school at that time but never personally until that one chilly evening when he happened to see him alone sitting quietly at the bench, looking at the sky with serenity encircling him. He was coming back to his dorm from the drawing studio when he saw him, wearing a black hoodie, checkered pajamas, and flip flops while immersed in music occupying both ears. He was smiling at nothing but behind it had meaning and Christian can feel it.

With sketch pads inhabiting his arms, he quietly walked past the man with a seemingly strange personality but froze when he heard him say the words that made his hair stand up.

"Christian."

Under the bright moonlight atmosphere, their eyes met and Christian knew at that moment that he had fallen in love with him. He felt like he couldn't let out a sound and stuttered at his presence which made the other giggle.

"You seem nervous. I won't bite."

"How did you-"

"Know your name? I asked around."

"Why?"

"Because I like you and have been meaning to talk to you ever since I saw you at the lounge."

Everything went beautiful for him at that moment but, was confused as to why a guy like him would want someone like him.

"When?"

"When I saw you looking at me."

Christian's face felt hot and knew that he was blushing. He panicked and dropped the sketch pads he was holding, hastily picking them up when a hand offered to help which made him tenser.

"Let me help you."

"Thanks."

His sketch pads were not his concern anymore as he stares at the man in front of him who will be his reason for existence, never imagining at all that he will also be his death in the future. After that one faithful night, both became so close to the point that people started to think that they have some kind of prohibited relationship but, as fast as the gossip spread, Darren was quick to deny anything which at that time he understood. Always telling people that they are just friends, Darren was careful not to show any public display of affection whenever he was with him. Thinking that he was just protecting his family's name, he shrugged off the possibility of Darren might be ashamed of him.

After a year of being just close friends, the two became official and he became even more motivated to become the best of themselves, all while keeping a private relationship with Darren.

He was happy again. Even with all the hiding and denying, he was contented where his life was getting on. He didn't complain, no questions asked and most of all, he didn't beg for special recognition on Darren's part. They lived that way until both graduated and prosper to become what they are now.

For seven years of knowing each other and six years in a relationship, he only breathed for him and Darren loved him but now that they bask in their fame, how he wishes he could take that simple happiness back.

Because many things have changed, Darren included.

Darren stared from afar as Christian stands on the corner lost in his thoughts, twirling around the wine glass in his hand. He felt bad but at the same time realized that it was better for both of them, especially for Christian. He shifted his look for a second then glanced again to where the man is but was a bit surprised when he saw Lulu coming towards him.

An actress and one of Christian's used to be close friends. Also, the reason for Darren's disloyalty. He rushed to Christian's side and greeted both of them, wrapping his arm around the guy while glaring at the woman with a warning present in his eyes.

"Ms. Lulu, how are you?" A nervous greeting came from the cheater.

"Hello, Mr. Darren." Said the woman with a naughty smile enveloping her pretty face while starting back at Darren.

Christian felt awkward and let out a smirk as he glances at the two, clearing his throat after to start a conversation.

"Hey, Lulu. How are you? Haven't seen you in a while."

The woman shifted his eyes back at Christian and smiled a fake one which was so obvious that it made him lose his interest.

"Been busy, deary. Look at you two, always close to each other. You look like brothers. Well, Glad, you made it today. You just got back from Paris, right?"

"Yes."

"You okay? You look pale. You sick, sweetie?"

She extended his hand to Christian's forehead, acting as a sister even though she is unworthy to be one. Darren raised his brow at the sudden gesture and the man was quick to pull away.

"Thanks, but I'm fine. Just a bit tired."

"Well, I'll go now, then. Good to see you, darling, and you, Mr. Darren."

Said the woman with a stare as sharp as her red fingernails, slowly walking away from the two men. When she was finally out of sight, the two looked at each other and smiled only to look away again.

"She's changed."

Darren returned his eyes at Christian, feeling a little sting hit his chest.

"Lulu. She's changed. Everything has."

"What do you mean?"

The man landed a silent smile at the man and shrugged off the question.

"Nothing. Hey, I think I'm ready to go home. Too tired for the after-party. You can go if you want. I'll wait for you at your house. Or, you want me to go straight home instead?"

"Chris-"

"I'm fine, Darren. Just tired. Go, before anyone sees us getting too close like this. We wouldn't want our face to be on the front page now, do we? I'll call you."

"Chris, what-"

Before he could finish his sentence, Christian swallowed up the remaining wine and left him standing there, confused. He heaved a sigh and returned to the crowd to mingle, ignoring whatever his lover was trying to say or do. Midnight strikes and Darren was already intoxicated but, instead of calling the one waiting or going home to him, he found himself at Lulu's house and on her bed, making love till two in the morning while the other, couldn't even shut his eyes.

Because he knew.

Christian knew all along that he is unfaithful but kept quiet for the sake of his love for Darren. He didn't want it to go to waste but every time he knows that he is with her, it burns him inside like hell it felt like it could kill him. Weeks before his return to Singapore, someone sent him a picture of Darren and the actress making out in one of Darren's private resorts, crushing him into pieces. When he returned to Singapore, he tried to hide the anguish and insecurities by doing the usual things he would do with him, make love with his man, attend parties with him, praise him, and most importantly, hide their little secret. He felt guilty in a way, knowing that they're both men, from the start he should've just ignored him but no, he chose love which he knows now that Darren can never do.

All he needed was a confirmation and he has got it.

Daylight breaks and Christian was woken up by repeated calls from his cellphone. Irritated, the drowsy man reached for his phone and answered only to be surprised by his friend John's frantic voice.

"Chris, open the television right now! You and Darren are all over the news!"

His eyes widened, his mouth dropped and his heart started to pump up. He instantly got out of bed and looked for the remote control, throwing his phone on the bed. The moment he opened the television, leaked photos of him and Darren at the beach that looked like they were kissing was what he stumbled upon. He felt his spirit leave his body as it becomes numb, breathing halted and all he could do was sit on the floor and cry in despair.

"What will this do to Darren."

He muttered to himself. His career didn't matter for a moment and all he can think of was him and the damage it could do to his name. He grabbed his phone and immediately dialed Darren's number which to his disappointment, was out of reach. He phoned his team and everyone he could think of, trying to know who the person behind the leaked photos is but not one of them has any clue who and why. His phone kept ringing but none of it was from Darren and since the news broke out earlier, he hasn't received any from him and so decided to drive to his house instead.

Upon reaching Darren's place, paparazzi were all over and he trembled from his sit, thinking what to do next. Should he drive-in or just leave? His mind was all over the place and is terrified, not for him but Darren.

He slowly drove his car to the front gate and reporters immediately gathered around to take photos. Luckily, securities were quick to open the gate for him, immediately steering through the vast driveway of the mansion. He got out of the car full of concerns but managed to keep a straight face, getting himself ready for whatever questions they throw his way.

The maid opened the door for him and walked inside. He was about to rush upstairs to look for Darren, but, paused when he saw a figure in the living room, sitting still with both hands resting on top of his cane. It was Darren's father. Christian hesitated at first but courageously walked in to greet the old man who seems to be in serious thinking.

"Uncle."

The old man looked up at him but didn't bother to open his mouth, and instead, called out for the maid to summon his son upstairs. Christian stood there frozen, waiting for the old man to say something but nothing until he heard footsteps from behind and it hit him, the day that he will finally say goodbye to his first love had come.

He knew then, he knew now.

"You two, follow me to my office."

The two obliged and didn't say anything, nor look at each other.

When they got to the study, both gulped as Darren's father sat on the leather executive chair, leaving the two to remain standing with unhappy expressions. The old man stared at the two with discontentment in his eyes and sighed.

"Sit."

The nervous men looked at him at the same time and heeded the superior's command.

"Now, explain to me what those pictures were all about."

"Uncle, it was-"

"It was all just a misunderstanding, father. A joke from someone who wants to flaw our name. It was nothing. Me and Chris have never engaged in a relationship like that whatsoever."

Christian thought that he was ready for the impact but he was wrong. Upon hearing those words come out from his lover's mouth, his body became unstable like preparing to have a panic attack but, he is aware that he can't be too vulnerable in front of them and so continued with a tough attitude.

"Uncle, Darren is right. It was nothing but a silly hoax. None of it was true and believe me, sir, all of it will be forgotten soon."

Darren gazed at the person beside him, furrowing at every word the man had spoken.

"And how sure are you on that?

"Because he-"

He looked at his lover one last time before speaking the phrases that sent chills down to Darren's whole body.

"He is in a relationship with the actress, Lulu."

That's right, Christian. Time for you to let him go. It's for the best. Let him be happy with someone like her who can give him a much better future. Calm your heart, breath slower, and don't cry.

He thought, trying to hold in the tears that were ready to drop anytime.

TO BE CONTINUED..