Chapter 1 I want Divorce

3 years ago

My heart remains frozen to his day whenever I think back to the moment where the only man I had loved had rejected me and for whom? To go lie in the bed of another woman!

"That's just it! Don't you ever see the mirror? Gosh have you even looked at yourself lately?" he yelled making every ounce of hope die instantly. Scott was always out at work and lately I rarely even saw him at home with inter-country conferences and late night meetings that he was attending.

I knew this relationship hadn't been working well enough at all since quite a few months- whenever he got home, either he went straight to bed without saying a word to me or he got into an argument with me and left the house. So in order to reach the bottom of the matter, I had tried to start a conversation with Scott, this was supposed to solve any misunderstandings between us but his perception had not been the same about me anymore, it felt like he could not even stand me…

I looked down at myself to see my clothes, what was wrong with a summer dress, I did not even gain an inch of gram ever since this relationship trouble struck me, clearly it mattered as a question of death and life to me. HE mattered me like life and death…

I give him a questioning look demanding an explanation, and he started yelling again in response, "See? That's the problem! You are such an illiterate despite being the educated woman who graduated from the Cambridge..."

By now I could surprisingly feel tears rolling down my eyes, warm tears flowing on my cheeks making a way to reach my neck. How could he point out my education? Despite being the smarter one at studies, I gave up my education though I wanted to pursue a Master’s, just to be there for him, to be by his side when he had proposed to me on our graduation party. I wonder how things had changed so quickly between us, we had such a loving relationship.

I took a deep breath and approached him to the couch he was sitting on with his two hands holding in between the restless mind of his, his elbows resting on the glass table.

I hugged his chest- he had always found it affectionate when I used to do it- and whispered, "Are you oka-"

I got immediately cut off half from my phrase, he promptly pulled away from me, "Yvonne are you at least sane, what the fuck are you even doing?! Just never, ever get this close to me, I...." he paused a moment and stared at me for about a whole minute, boring imaginary holes in my body, then I observed his eyes well, they were full of boredom and exhaustion, as though he were tired or fed up me...it broke me, caused me an inexplicable anguish to see such distaste in his eyes for myself.

The long pause that almost lasted for eternity for me, ended and he spoke again, but this time his voice came more as a soft whisper, "I need...I need a divorce Yvonne, just don't ask me why, you know I want the best for both of us and this marriage has cost me my social status, not that I care, but clearly this marriage has been a big mistake, and because you are my wife, I don't want to keep you in the dark; I love another woman.."

I froze instantly, there was no name for what I felt now, right this instant. Did he just say that he doesn't love me anymore? And the best married years of my life had been a mistake for him?

"I can provide you with all the money you want, trust me this is best deal any woman of your age will have craved for, the most luxurious life, what else do you want?"

I could feel my heart shattering as he said each word and I was stunned to know that my first love Scott did balance everything with money, had he once realised that I was not a gold-digger, that my crave wasn't anywhere near his dollar stashes, he would have understood me better. But now, looking at him stand tall in his pride, I did not even know what or who he was anymore. He certainly wasn’t the loving husband, one that he used to be at the start of our marriage two years ago...

"Scott," I started taking a deep breath trying to inhale some air in, "I know we can figure it out, we can save our marriage, and have a happy life together…we have just been too distant recently.”

"No Yvonne!" he refused flatly to my face, "I love Anna, I met her on a business trip to Italy 3 months ago, and things started getting out of control, that's when I realised that you may have been the first woman and wife in my life but I never loved you, because if I had, I wouldn't have had fallen head over heels for Anna, also she is perfect for the family and to manage the business, she is not just an Eco graduate you know.." he said eyeing me up and down.

For the first time, I felt ashamed of who I am; maybe he had reason, maybe I didn't deserve being in the position I was today, maybe I didn't deserve to be Mrs Scott Anderson today...

"You will receive the divorce papers tomorrow, make sure I get them back signed...or you are aware of how I can make you sign if I come to my ways," he threatened and left the door hastily, as if in a hurry to reach an important meeting on time, leaving me to cry for hours in the dark evening, under countless stars watching me from above; hot tears wouldn't just stop flowing from my reddened cheeks and I just sat there and eventually fell asleep after crying my eyes out...

I had decided one thing though- I would not take a penny he was willing to offer and just get out of Scott’s life. It would kill me to be away from him but it wouldn’t make me any better knowing we stick in this empty relationship when he loved someone else…

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