Chapter 9 Can I Fight This

Zara's POV

There seemed to be a chiller atmosphere around the academy once it passed curfew time. Something along the lines of cold and dangerous. A kind of cold that crawled under your skin and seemed to make your thoughts real and loud.

I should have been asleep, especially after the whole first kill, but my body refused to rest. My mind was going through all corners, and I didn't know how to move from all that.

Kai's voice kept ringing loud and clear in my head.

"Meet me tonight. East wing. After curfew."

I might as well just go since I couldn't find sleep. Every rational part of me kept screaming that I stayed back, but something deeper, something more like whispered;

"What's the harm in going? You definitely want to see him."

This other voice seemed to know what I really wanted.

The solar lamps kept flickering as I passed through the corridors. My reflection followed me in the glass walls, like a shadow hesitating whether to follow me or not. The silence was like a weight of burden on me.

When I reached the last stair case that presented me with the Easter wing, the air shifted. It smelt of metal, burnt wires, smoke and....him. Kai's scent was dark, velvety, sharp, and controlled.

He stepped out of the shadow like always as if he had been waiting for me.

"I was beginning to think that you won't show up." He said, voice low yet careful.

"You wanted me to show up." I replied.

"Why here?" I questioned.

His eyes scanned the hallway before settling on me. For the first time, I noticed how tired he looked. There was a weight behind his gaze, something haunted.

"Because this place has no cameras," he murmured.

What's really going on?

"I'm tired of these games." I retorted.

He didn't respond, just staring deep into my eyes and making me squirm in my stance.

So I took a bold step closer to him, studying him.

"You said that last night, too. About trust. About not even trusting you. Why do you keep repeating it?" I threw the question his way.

But he didn't flinch. And he didn't answer right away. His jaw clenched, like he was holding back more than words.

Finally, he said,

"Because I'm trying to protect you from the people who want to use you."

I took a step backwards.

"Protect me?" I scoffed softly.

You're the one who told me I'd been wiped clean.

What does that even mean, Kai?

"What did they take from me?"

He looked at me for a long moment. His hand twitched; like he wanted to reach out to me, but he hesitated.

"You don't want to know." He whispered.

But that's what he didn't know. I really needed to know. I had to know.

"Then tell me what happened that night." I pushed, my voice trembling.

I was sounding so weak and pathetic.

"Why don't you tell me why I woke up in my basement room and everything seemed patched from the previous night." I said.

Silence.

"You should forget about asking these questions." He said, brushing the question away.

The air thickened between us. His words sank in, heavy and suffocating.

"Wow!" I echoed.

"Then what am I, Kai? Some kind of experiment?"

He turned away, running a hand through his hair.

You're... not what they made you believe.

"You're something older, something Dr. Voss calls the prototype."

The words made my pulse jump. Prototype. Like a thing. Not a person.

"Amen I the only person that's like this?" I put out my thoughts in the open.

He faced me again, stepping close enough that I could feel the heat of his breath against my cheek.

Zara, listen to me. What you did today, it wasn't your fault.

"They triggered something inside you."

I killed him, Kai." My voice cracked.

"How is that not my fault?"

"And that wasn't the answer to my question."

He hesitated, eyes dark and unreadable.

"Because they designed you to react that way."

"I'm still trying to figure that out." He said referring to my question earlier on.

My heart pounded. Designed. Triggered. Prototype. Figuring things out.

Every word cut deeper than the last.

I took a step back, shaking my head. "No. No, that's not possible. I'm not"

Before I could finish, he grabbed my wrist, so gentle yet firm. His hand was warm, steadying.

"You're not a monster," he said, his voice raw.

"Don't ever believe that."

The hallway light flickered, bathing us in shadow and smoke.

For a heartbeat, it felt like the world paused. It was just us breathing in sync.

Then I noticed something on his sleeve.

Blood. Dried, dark, crusted at the edge.

My voice came out barely a whisper.

"You said no one will find him..."

He froze. His eyes darted to his arm, then back to me.

"That's not what you think," he muttered.

"Then what should I think?" I shot back.

"That you're hiding me from Dr. Voss or helping her hide me from myself?"

He stepped forward; and I took a step back.

"Don't come any closer, Kai." I warned rudely.

He flinched at my tone.

The air crackled between us, hot and cold at once.

"Zara, please," he said softly.

"If she suspects anything, she'll destroy you."

"And if I don't find out the truth, I'll destroy myself," I replied.

"You're here to study meafter alll. So keep it up!" I said as angry tears threatened to fall from my eyes.

His expression softened, and for a second, I saw it, the boy behind the soldier.

The one who wanted to believe he could save something in a world built to break people like us.

Then, a faint beep echoed from his wrist.

My eyes dropped to the device under his sleeve. It was the same one that always itched at him when Dr. Voss called.

He cursed under his breath, trying to cover it.

But I'd seen enough.

"She's listening, isn't she?" I asked quietly.

He didn't answer.

He didn't have to.

The silence said it all.

"Fuck!" I muttered under my breath as I ran a hand through my hair.

I didn't notice how he fast he moved, next thing I knew was that I felt his wet lips on mine. I wanted it in that moment as I tangled my hands around his neck.

"Run." He whispered sending chills down my spine.

Before I could steady my breath, he was out of my sight.

"Run!" I heard his voice repeat in my head.

And I did just that.