Fortunately, I have a supportive group of people who help me through the loneliness. Alpha Hugh has always looked after me, perhaps to ease his own guilt. Despite not having parents, I have never felt alone in this pack. They treat me as family. Alpha's son, Aidan, has always cared for me deeply.
Aidan and I have known each other since we were young, and he has always protected me like an older brother-though at the time, I didn't realize he was merely following his father's instructions.
Aidan loves to draw and paint, and with a brush in his hand, he can always create vivid pictures. I would sit and watch him, quietly developing an affection for his talent and the tenderness of his heart.
No joking. I could literally sit by his side doing nothing all day and still feel content and comfortable. Such is the peril of a crush, robbing you of all sanity and sense of time.
I wished for a carefree life, but fate was not so kind. The first blow came on my coming-of-age day. Alpha Hugh threw a big party for me, as he did for every wolf turning 18. We ate, chatted, drank, and enjoyed ourselves until the moon appeared.
Bathed in its silver light, I could not shift however I struggled.
Whispers spread quickly among the crowd, hands slipping into pockets to hide their failed attempt at applause.
Embarrassment overwhelmed me like a hurricane. I lowered my head, fixing my gaze on the ground, ashamed to meet the crowd's eyes, especially those of Alpha Hugh, who had high hopes for me.
Lost in shame and sorrow, tears streamed silently down my face. I remained there for what seemed an eternity, unaware when the pack members silently dispersed. Then, a gentle tap on my shoulder broke my solitude. I hastily wiped my tears before looking up to see Alpha Hugh smiling warmly.
"Are you alright, my little princess?" His voice was gentle, reminding me of my father.
I cried even more, throwing myself into his embrace and stammering between sobs, "I... I don't have a wolf. I am wolfless."
"I know," Alpha Hugh said, patting my back. "And it's not a big deal."
"Isn't it?" I asked, my eyes widening with confusion.
"Yeah," he said with a shrug. "Wolf or wolfless, life always finds a way out."
His words comforted me, though I suspected it was a white lie. I stepped back, scrutinizing his expression, and asked, "You sure?"
A chuckle rumbled from his chest as he nodded firmly, "Pretty sure."
"What if someone mocks me?" I asked.
"Then you beat them up, kick their ass to teach them to keep their filthy mouths shut," Alpha Hugh drawled, making me giggle and momentarily forget the miserable night.
I felt incredibly lucky that my pack didn't outcast me for being wolfless. Ending up as a rogue and on the "to be hunted" list for lycans would have been less than ideal.
Instead, my pack members doubled down on their care and concern for me. Aurora, an Omega, was assigned as my personal maid-though between you and me, it's unclear who serves whom most days. Barry, a benevolent Gamma in his forties, would guard my safety. And Helen, the pack doctor, was told to examine me more frequently than other wolves.
The imagined bias and discrimination never materialized. Instead, I was showered with attention, which is great if you're planning on writing a memoir titled "Wolfless but Not Loveless."
Part of me felt grateful to my pack members, though another part felt guilty for not contributing as much as other wolves. Without a wolf, my strength is weak. Sure, I work out to make up for it, but my power is lower than average.
Then there's the issue of the mind-link. When the pack is under attack, everyone seamlessly coordinates while I'm standing there like a human who's lost his Wi-Fi connection. Generally, it ends with elder wolves lifting me, tossing me into the safe house, and barring the door with a firm kick.
They insist I play a crucial role in comforting children and pregnant pack members. But if I'm honest, anyone with a soothing voice and a knack for bedtime stories could take my place. I mean, sure, I have a way with kids, but I am not irreplaceable.
I tried to keep a low profile in the pack, but Alpha Hugh seemed determined to thrust me into the spotlight. He was always trying to convince me that I could have a fun, happy life like all the other she-wolves. "You deserve to be happy, Elizabeth. Go out, mingle, have some fun," he'd say whenever he caught me hiding in the library like it was my personal fortress of solitude.
Taking his advice, I'd venture out, but within minutes, I'd sneak back to my books. Frankly, I found books far more entertaining than small talk. Sometimes I'd bump into Alpha Hugh at the library entrance. It was almost as if he had a sixth sense for my return. I'd feel a tad sheepish as he'd raise an eyebrow, chuckle, and shake his head slightly.
Life carried on uneventfully for three years, and suddenly, boom-I'm 21. According to Alpha Hugh, it's prime time to arrange a marriage between me and Aiden.
Remember that crush I mentioned? Yeah, Aiden. My affection for him didn't fade as I grew older; nope, instead, it simmered like a pot on the back burner. The dilemma? He's poised to become Alpha, and I'm... well, still the wolfless wonder of the pack.
Fate decided to throw me a bone, though. Sure, it didn't give me a wolf, but it also didn't make being wolfless a torment. True to his word, Alpha Hugh made me feel just as worthy of happiness as any other she-wolf when he announced that Aiden would marry me. I was beyond thrilled at the idea of marrying the boy I'd been crushing on since forever. But, naturally, I worried Aiden might not be on board with this surprise arrangement. I sneak a glance at him, mentally bracing for impact, and-phew-he nods in approval. Okay, maybe he's not as over-the-moon as I am, but I decided I'll do whatever I can to make him love me the way I love him.
Before the wedding day, Aurora and I spent countless hours trying on wedding dresses and experimenting with makeup. Eventually, we found "the one" that suited my style perfectly.
Finally, my big day arrives.
"Do I look good?" I ask, clutching the hem of my dress like it's a lifesaver. It feels like I'm about to dive into the deep end of anxiety.
"You absolutely glow in that dress, Elizabeth," Aurora assures me with a smile. "Relax. You're going to amaze everyone when you step out that door."
"Thank you," I reply, trying to sound more confident than I feel, while redirecting my attention to the mirror. As I put on my pearl earrings, Aurora helps me with a necklace, its pendant a rose made of ruby. I'm not particularly fond of jewelry, but this necklace is a wedding gift from Alpha Hugh, a family heirloom from his late wife.
"I'm not used to wearing heels," I mumble. "I'd much rather go barefoot. There's something magical about feeling the texture of the ground and grass."
"Yeah, and you'll give the guests a heart attack when they see the bride waltzing down the aisle shoe-less," Aurora chuckles. "Come on, everyone's waiting for you."
I take a deep breath, summon all the courage I can muster, and step out the door, ready to embrace this new chapter in my life... only to find myself walking straight into a disaster I never saw coming.
"Congratulations, Alpha Aiden," Aurora chirps as we step out.
"Thanks, Aurora," Aiden replies with an awkward smile. "Could you give us a moment? I need to talk to Elizabeth."
"Oh sure! I'll just, um, go check on the desserts," Aurora says, retreating to the kitchen quicker than a hare.
"What's up?" I ask Aiden curiously.
"Well, it's..." he starts, looking like he'd rather be anywhere but here. "Uh, where do I even begin?" Aiden mumbles, rubbing his head in frustration.
"It's okay. Whatever it is, you can tell me, and we'll face it together," I assure him, giving his shoulder a gentle tap.
But he flinches, pulling away from my touch.
Ouch.
Something must be off.
"Sorry, Elizabeth," Aiden mutters, staring at the ground like it's the most fascinating thing ever. "I have to tell you something."
"Yes?" I hold my breath, bracing for impact.
"I, uh, I'm in love with someone else. Cherry Bloom, you know her..." His voice is barely a whisper.
Cherry Bloom? I mentally shuffle through my memory and vaguely recall her being an orphan omega I'd often seen at the safe house.
My blood runs cold at his confession, but I hold back the urge to scream. Instead, I ask calmly, "Why didn't you tell me sooner? Why today? Are you trying to humiliate me on my wedding day?"
"No!" Aiden protests, looking horrified. "I was going to go through with it, but it felt unfair to you. And Cherry fainted this morning."
"She fainted?" I ask, trying to process everything.
"Yeah, from the stress I guess. Helen's with her, and I... I think I need to check on her. Can we delay the wedding for, like, half an hour? Do you mind?"
Of course I mind. What kind of bride wouldn't mind such a ridiculous delay?
Pinching the bridge of my nose, I say, "Aiden, I think we shouldn't get married."
"What?" Aiden stares at me, wide-eyed.
"I'm letting you go to be with the one you truly love," I say, forcing a smile while fighting back tears. "Just, maybe next time, let me know sooner-though hopefully there won't be a next time for something like this." I pause, attempting a half-hearted joke. "I love you, Aiden, but bond should be a sacred thing. We won't be happy if our marriage is forced. Do you get that?"
"Yes," Aiden says softly. "I'm so sorry."
"There's no need to be sorry," I sigh. "Let's just stop this train before it derails completely." I clear my throat and try to swallow the dryness, continuing, "I, Elizabeth Myers, reject you, Aiden Hopkins, as my mate."
To my surprise, Aiden lets out a bitter laugh and says, "I, Aiden Hopkins, reject your rejection."
Well, that's unexpected.
"Aiden, why do you..." I murmur, thoroughly puzzled by his action.
Is he trying to spare my feelings, worried I'll end up in a puddle of tears? I let myself think that just for a second, but reality quickly slaps me upside the head.
"I can't," Aiden says, his voice trying to sound all serious. "My father, well, he doesn't like Cherry. If he finds out about us, he'll probably take out his anger on her."
Oh, so it's not about my tender heart-it's all about saving Cherry.
I can't help it. A little laugh slips out, but it's not the ha-ha kind. It's the kind you hear in a tragicomedy right before someone gets hit with a pie. In that brief moment, whatever I felt for Aiden packed its bags and left.
"So, what do you need me to do? Get you a cape for your superhero act?" I ask, feeling more than a little exasperated.
"Just keep pretending everything's peachy," Aiden says with an awkward smile.
"I can't..." I begin, but he's quick to cut me off.
"No, Elizabeth. Think about my father. He sees you as his own daughter. You wouldn't want to break his heart, would you? He'll be so disappointed if our marriage doesn't go through. Just go through with it for his sake, I'm begging you," Aiden pleads. "After we're married, we can keep it alive in name only. I won't meddle in your affairs if you don't meddle in mine. It'll work out fine."
"Alright," I murmur, feeling the chains of obligation tighten.
"And, uh, stall the wedding a bit for me. I'll be back soon." He fusses with his sleeves like they're causing him personal offense. "Gotta run," he says, before dashing off to the pack doctor, not even glancing back.
I'm left standing in the metaphorical rain, even though the sun is shining brighter than ever. It's like my bones can feel the chill. I hug myself tight, biting down on my lip to keep the tears at bay.
Deep breath, Elizabeth, you've got this.
Should I hang around like a lovesick puppy waiting for his return, or do I pack my luggage and disappear before my fiasco ends up as tomorrow's breakfast gossip?
If I could go back in time, I'd definitely choose the escape route. But back then, something kept me rooted, something stupid, that stopped me from making the simple decision-to cut the ties with my pack and go.
Apparently, I wasn't quite brave enough to embrace the unknown myself.
And the cost of cowardice? It is dangerously high.
About three hours later-yes, three epic hours-Aiden finally shows up. He makes his grand entrance, striding to the altar like he's the hero of some romantic epic, taking my hand as we turn to face the pack members.
I had pictured this moment so many times, imagining it as pure magic. But standing here, all I can feel is a biting bitterness, a taste that lingers like burnt coffee. We wear smiles for the audience, but they're as hollow as promises unkept, not even grazing the corners of our eyes.
In front of the entire pack, Aiden vows with conviction that he will be with me through thick and thin, his words wrapped in sincerity and warmth. For a fleeting moment, I wish I could lose myself in his promises, to savor the simple joy of being a happy bride. But reality tugs at me fiercely, reminding me of the cracks beneath his polished facade. My sanity is screaming, telling me I cannot trust this man anymore. He gives a damn about the promise he makes.
He doesn't come back after half an hour like he told me.
It takes him three hours. He spends three fucking hours to take care of Cherry Bloom.I can't help but wonder how much time I'd get if I decided to make a scene and faint on the altar.
I swallow down the urge to laugh at myself sarcastically. And with a voice that sounds more like a bad joke than a romantic vow, I tell the priest, "Yes I'd love to marry Aiden."
My words prompt a tsunami of applause and cheers from the crowd.
"You may now kiss the bride,"the priest directs, and Aiden leans in, and his lips meet mine. They're warm and soft-exactly as I'd daydreamed.
He was my dreamboy, and yet, kissing him now feels like drinking expired milk. I have to summon every ounce of my willpower not to recoil.
I'm baffled.
Truly baffled.
How did I become the least happy person on the day I was supposed to be prancing through a field of joyful daisies?