Maybe that was why she stood quietly on that spot on the stairs, trying to pretend she didn't see the two people who were sitting together on a single chair. They were sitting so close that they might just as well be sitting over each other as they whispered into each other's ears, laughing and giggling.
They were the perfect picture of a happily married couple and it felt too real, pointing a straight dagger to her heart.
That man was her lover, the man who swore to always protect her and the one she swore to always love, no matter what. It was a promise both of them made but it was only one person that remembered it. There was no way he was cruel enough to continue holding that woman dearly and looking at her like that if he still remembered.
The worst part of everything was that they were morally and legally right to do that, to love each other, to kiss each other in every corner of the room and attend places-hands linked together.
While with her, it was an abomination, something of utter recklessness and immorality.
She was the one pushed to the position of the mistress-she could be nothing but that.
Derek Jules, the man she dated and had spent way too long with, and the woman who had taken him away from her, Kaitlyn Moore. Through some messed up circumstances, they all lived in the same house.
The wife, husband and his mistress.
But there should be no hard feelings right? It was supposed to be an act.
"Come on, Nirvana," She heard a voice behind her and turned to see Calvin walking down the stairs. "Everyone is almost here."
His tone was gentle and his eyes were full of pity, probably because of the events that were going to happen later that day, something that always happened when there was a family gathering.
It happened every time but it didn't make it hurt any less, in fact, the more gathering was available, the more reckless Kaitlyn would be. Nirvana braced herself for the events of the day that would surely not favor her, just thinking about it was making her anxiety shoot over the roof.
She nodded, trying to calm herself as her fingers gripped the sides of her dress. She made her way down hastily because she needed to plate the food as fast as possible. She wasted so much time daydreaming.
"You might have just asked us to do it on our own," Kaitlyn sneered as she came to sit at the dinning, Derek had his arms wrapped tightly around her waist.
Nirvana didn't say anything-just like she wasn't supposed to, not like she could even if she wanted, it would come out in a jumbled mess, she was thinking of seeing a therapist soon. It was getting harder to keep track of the things her brain had no idea of.
"Are you deaf?!" Kaitlyn asked fiercely, when Nirvana didn't answer, she barged ahead and gripped her jaws tightly to make her stare straight into her eyes. "You have to understand that when I am talking to you, you should answer me with your mouth or you won't like the consequences of your actions." Kaitlyn leaned closer to her and lowered her voice, her manicured nails digging into her skin and hurting her.
"Alright," Nirvana's lack of reaction only added to Kaitlyn's irritation, but that was all she could manage because of her disorder which had worsened lately, maybe because Kaitlyn's behavior had turned more erratic. She wasn't half as worse the month before which made Nirvana wonder if Kaitlyn was feeling insecure or saw her as a formidable enemy, but why now after all these while?
"You must think that you are still the main thing in this place, I must have you understand that I have a place in this mansion because I am legally married into this family and I have the right to cast you out if you continue to behave like a little shit." She dropped her jaw harshly and stood tall, her back straight and proud. "The worthiness of a wife can't be compared to that of a freeloader, so it is my place to correct you."
Another reminder Kaitlyn never failed to deliver every day.
Derek told her that he didn't choose Kaitlyn over her but was forced to get married because of personal interest, but he would find a way to wiggle out of the chokehold that the marriage had him on when Nirvana found out about his wedding.
Assured her that he would never love Kaitlyn and Nirvana believed him but she had forgotten that even though he said all that, it didn't mean that he would continue loving her.
He always succeeds in failing her-even at this moment, an emotionless glance was all he directed her way before he finally reached out to Kaitlyn.
A part of Nirvana wanted to scream, but how could she manage that when all she wanted to do was curl into a hole?
'Relax, it was all an act,' she repeated in her head as she tightened her finger, a mantra, a routine. It was either that, or have a mental meltdown, which would be a disaster because the guests visiting today were important.
"Kaitlyn, this is no time to banter with her," Derek murmured against Kaitlyn's shoulder as he buried his face in her neck.
"Since when did this place become yours? What? Don't tell me that you are actually feeling important because you married him?" Calvin chuckled sarcastically, gesturing to Derek with a sardonic smirk on his lips.
"Shut up your mouth, Calvin." Derek seethed.
"And if I don't?!" Calvin's eyes burned with flames as he glared at his brother.
Derek and Calvin never got along since their younger days and they grew even more apart as they grew older, they were at complete odds now.
"Then I would shut it up for you, that is no way to speak to your brother!" Another voice cut through the tense silence that arose from Calvin's confrontation and everyone stood straight.
It was Mrs. Jules, the woman whose wealth contributed to half of what made up Jules Corporation. She had just as much say as her husband in matters concerning the family.
"Mom! It is Derek's fault!" Calvin exclaimed.
"Don't tell me that you are protecting this shameless wench once again?" Mrs. Jules' voice had turned edgy, glaring at Nirvana.
"But-" Calvin started to talk but Nirvana discreetly pulled his shirt lightly.
This wasn't the time to start an argument, their guest had arrived, she heard movements from the living room earlier and soon enough, they were joined by three different people-two women and one man.
They were the guests that attended the small family gathering that Mrs. Jules had hosted, these guests were part of Mrs. Jules extended family and held high positions in the various cities they were. One last glare from Mrs. Jules, everyone quickly composed themselves and took a seat at the table, Nirvana perfecting a poker face while Kaitlyn smiled politely.
"Julia, it is so nice to see you after all these while," One of two women beamed and the others nodded with smiles.
"Same here, Judith. I missed all of you all the time." Mrs. Jules replied, before she pointed to Derek. "Let me introduce my son, Derek Jules, he is in charge of most Jules companies now."
"Nice to meet you, everyone, I have heard a lot about you all." He smiled.
"This is his wife, Kaitlyn, she is actually the only daughter of the Moore family," Mrs. Jules continued.
She didn't get along with Kaitlyn, but Kaitlyn was useful when it was time to brag-which Mrs. Jules liked to do in a totally sophisticated way. The Moore family was at the helm of all business affairs in the country and abroad, every businessman sought a chance to have a meeting with them at least once.
"Wow! That's thrilling! How did Derek manage to get such a beautiful woman?" The man asked and everyone laughed.
That was a question Nirvana had asked herself a lot of time. Kaitlyn's level was above Derek, a bit out of his reach, why on earth did she marry into the Jules family when it was obvious that she was an ambition ladder to Derek? What kind of benefit could possibly be rewarded to her for their marriage?
"This is...?" Her attention was snapped back by Judith who was staring at her, waiting for her to tell them who she was. Nirvana clenched her fist so tightly that she could feel blood, her whole body taut and her face turned pale.
Who was she? How was she supposed to introduce herself in a way that would guarantee her stay at the table? Derek's Mistress? His lover? His secretary? None of it made any sense to anyone. It didn't justify her presence on the table.
She found herself tongue-tied as her mind grappled to find a self-escape.
"I..." She started but Kaitlyn was faster and louder.
"She is our head maid."