Chapter 2 Elara's Guilt

The smell of rain came in through the open window, and the scent of the forest. Ryder stood before the mirror, his fingers hovering over the smooth surface. He looked at his reflection in the mirror, but he did not recognise the face looking back at him.

His jaw was sharper, his eyes were harsher, and the weight of a life lived too quickly showed on his face. His frigid blue eyes, which used to be so familiar, suddenly seemed far away. He ran a hand through his black hair and noticed it had grown longer than he remembered. He looked like a powerful, commanding guy, but he didn't feel like the man who was looking back at him.

He moved in closer, hoping to see a hint of familiarity. But all he saw was a stranger who had lost and seen too much.

He was lost in thought when a quiet knock on the door returned him to reality. He turned just as Elara walked in. Her eyes relaxed when they met his, but her body was still tense. It seemed like she weighed the world on her shoulders.

She stepped closer and whispered, "Are you okay?"

"I don't know," Ryder said in a voice that was hard to hear. "Who am I?"

Her eyes got darker, and her lips parted, but she said nothing. She reached for him, but Ryder moved back, holding on to the table's edge while his heart raced. "I don't remember, Elara." "Nothing feels right."

Her expression crumpled, and it was clear that she felt guilty, yet she stepped closer and closed the gap between them. "You're not the only one going through this." "We'll figure it out," she said, caressing his cheek with her fingers in a way that hurt his chest.

Ryder swallowed hard. The image in the mirror still scared him. There was something very wrong. He didn't know what to make of it, but the mirror was telling the truth. That guy wasn't him.

The door clicked shut behind Elara, but Ryder stayed where he was, his mind racing with questions that had no solutions.

There were footsteps in the hallway that were soft yet clear. Still sitting in the big room that seemed so strange, Ryder gazed at the closed door. His thoughts were all over the place, and his recollections were still hazy, but there was something in the air, a change, a feeling he couldn't ignore.

As Elara walked in, her face changed, like the sun breaking through a cloudy sky. She walked toward him, her body slim and graceful, and her silver hair flowed behind her like a cloud. "I'm sorry I was gone for so long," she murmured, her voice warm and soothing, but not quite reaching him.

Ryder looked at her attentively, drawn in by the familiar weight of her presence. But the way she walked and the care she took with every motion made him nervous. Her touches on his arm should have calmed him down, but he felt trembling instead.

"Everything is fine, Ryder," she said with a soft smile that didn't quite reach her eyes.

He grimaced because he couldn't ignore the way she sounded unsure. "Is it?" he questioned, looking straight into her eyes. "You seem... off."

Elara stopped, and the moment seemed to last forever. For a brief moment, her smile faded as she brushed her hair behind her ear. Ryder's eyes moved to the movement, and there it was: a small scar on her wrist disguised by the sleeve of her blouse. It was subtle, but there was no doubt about it. A scar that doesn't belong there. It was too new. Too planned.

His face went pale. "Where did you get that?"

Her hand stopped moving, and she swiftly looked down at the floor. The warm, soothing air between them broke. A shadow crossed her face, and she stopped breathing. "It's nothing," she said hurriedly, and her fingers curled into a grip around the sleeve. "A scratch." It's not a big deal.

But Ryder's beast came out in him. The acute, animal instinct screamed. That scar didn't happen by chance.

"Elara," Ryder murmured again, his voice steady, but the disquiet was suddenly heavy on his chest. "Why do I feel like I'm missing something?"

Her eyes shot up to meet his too quickly. Too careful. "Don't worry about it, Ryder. Please.

Suddenly, the room seemed smaller, and the space between them seemed bigger. Ryder's eyes stayed on her wrist the whole time. The scar stayed in his memory, bothering him like a splinter, but the rest of him... The rest of him didn't get why it was there.

Ryder's eyes tightened, and his body stiffened as Elara stayed close. His senses were sharper than ever. The smell of her, the lovely smell that used to make him feel better, now smelled like something was wrong.

He leaned forward and grabbed the edge of the bed with his fingertips. "Tell me about the scar," he said. He meant his voice to be stronger, but it was softer than he wanted. The doubt still lingered in his chest.

Elara gulped, and her throat worked hard to get air. For a minute, the quiet between them seemed thick and heavy. "Ryder," she murmured, her voice barely above a whisper. "It's nothing you need to worry about."

He got up and kept looking at her. You could feel the tension in the room. "That's not what I wanted."

She flinched, and her lips trembled before she smiled. "We don't have to talk about this right now. "It's over now."

A fleeting flash of something dark passed over her eyes, yet it was there. Ryder felt the hairs on his neck spring up, and the air around them seemed to get heavier. He reached for her wrist, and his fingers brushed across her skin, begging her to tell him what was happening.

The moment broke before she could say anything. Elara hastily took her arm away, and her eyes got cloudy, like a storm was coming.

She quickly answered, "I'm fine," but her voice sounded strained. "Let's focus on getting you back to yourself, okay?"

As he watched her walk away, Ryder's eyes darkened. There was more. There was something she wasn't telling him.

The door creaked a little way off, but the sound broke the tension. Ryder stopped moving, and a recollection hit him like a wave crashing. Elara's face twisted in wrath as she yelled and pointed at someone with quivering fists.

Who was she fighting with? What did she say? The recollection was there, clear, but it didn't make sense. Ryder's heart raced, and his head spun with the pieces.

"Elara..." He spoke in a quiet, unsure voice. "I,"

But before he could say anything, she had already turned away from him, her back to him, and her body was tight and ready to fight.

"Please, just... trust me," she begged, her voice too quiet and begging.

He couldn't stop thinking about the fight, but Elara's smile, which was tight and forced, brought him back to the present.

Days ran together in a fog of bewilderment and doubt that wouldn't go away. Ryder's memories were still jumbled, but there was something in the air that he couldn't quite put his finger on.

Elara stayed his dedicated partner, who cared for him and whispered sweet nothings to him at night. But Ryder could see that she was not okay. Her forced smiles and laughs that didn't quite reach her eyes were signs of this. He couldn't help but notice the strain in her voice and the way she moved too carefully.

They were in the sitting room together, and the big windows let in the soft light of the evening. Elara talked about small things like the pack, their future, and their rehabilitation, but Ryder couldn't understand what she said. He couldn't take his eyes off her face, following every tiny change in her expression.

"Everything's fine," she whispered, and her fingers brushed across his softly, but the touch felt chilly and far away.

Ryder nodded, even though his throat was tight. But something inside him wouldn't let him believe her. His gut told him she was hiding much more than she was saying. The mark. The point of the debate. The way she had stared at him just a few seconds before, the flash of something he couldn't put his finger on.

He wasn't sure what was real anymore. He wasn't sure who to believe.

Her amber eyes were full of love as she looked at him, but there was something else there that Ryder couldn't ignore. A question. It was a short time, and he didn't have time to understand it properly.

"Are you all right?" Elara inquired, her voice gentle, but she never took her eyes off of him.

Ryder opened his lips to say something, but the words stuck in his throat. He didn't know what to say, but he did know that the gap between them had grown again. There was a barrier now that they couldn't see until it was too late.

Ryder thought for a second that he might never really remember. Would he ever know the truth about what had happened between them?

For a moment, Elara's smile faded. Then she blinked, and it was gone, replaced by the mask of the loving partner she had always been.

But Ryder couldn't stop thinking about the doubt in her eyes. It stayed with him.

Ryder sat on the bed's edge and stared at Elara, but his mind was somewhere else, going in circles. His body felt heavy, tired, and broken, like it belonged to someone else. But the worst part was the gnawing ache in his chest. There was something wrong.

As Elara cleaned up the room, she hummed to herself softly. Ryder, on the other hand, watched her every move. Her speech was light, but couldn't cover the heaviness in the air.

"You seem quiet today," she observed in a silky voice, trying to hide any signs of stress. She reached for the water pitcher on the table, and her hand shook slightly as she poured.

As he observed her, Ryder's brow wrinkled. There was something wrong with it again. He wanted to believe in her. He tried to, gods. She was all he had in this broken world, yet the more he watched her, the less sure he was. His wolf encouraged him to trust her and let their link guide him. But something deep inside him told him that she was hiding something.

"Elara..." His voice was raspy, and the question was tricky for him. "Why do I feel that I don't know something?" Should I do something?

Her eyes darted toward him briefly, but then she smiled to hide the fright. "What do you mean? Ryder, you've gone through a lot. It's normal to feel... not right.

Her smile looked too big and too flawless. The words didn't exactly match how uneasy he felt in his stomach. He looked at her very intently. There was more to this than she was letting on by the way she moved and averted his gaze.

She said again, "Everything is fine," and gave him the glass.

But Ryder's hand stopped moving. He felt a sudden, instinctive recoil, as if his body was telling him something his intellect couldn't understand. He pushed back, felt the distance between them grow and his heart race.

"I just..." His words faded away. Did he think this was real? Or was there something else going on? He didn't know what to say. Questions only.

Elara leaned forward, and her features softened as she reached for him again. Her touch stroked his arm, but this time he flinched, and his body let him down. Her smile faded for a time, and her eyes got bigger. She pulled her hand back, and for a brief moment, Ryder couldn't ignore her.

Suddenly, he stood up, his heart racing and his mind racing. Had his thoughts turned against him? Or was there something more profound or darker whispering out of his reach?