Walking into the building now feels less exciting than it did before. It wasn't as glorious as it had been when I returned from my first mission. I had just returned from another mission, and as with all missions, I had to show up for my psychological and physical assessment. Because I was well-known, I had to smile at everyone who waved at me once I entered the building. My name wasn't exactly difficult to come across. I entered the elevator, which was already occupied by a few people, most of whose faces I couldn't identify. It was different from the past when the institute wasn't as large. There were recruits, both agents in training and other personnel. I glanced at the control panel, it seemed we were going to the same floor. They all kept grinning at me, so I had to smile back out of courtesy. The elevator started to move, and when we reached the seventh floor, it stopped. I then exited the elevator with a few other people. After any mission, I hardly ever sustained serious wounds, so the physical evaluation always came to a quick conclusion. I went right away to see the doctor. Her name was Dr. Itoha Angela. She was one of the institute's gentlest and most passionate members. Because of the nature of her work, she had to be gentle. She was hastily looking through her shelf when I pushed open the glass door of her office. "Doctor?"
Angela turned around and grinned at me, "Hey Adam." She didn't look a day over fifty. She still had a good-looking, hot appearance.
I smiled back at her and said, "Hey."
Angela asked with a broad smile, "How are you doing?"
"I'm fine, business as usual." She returned to her search for whatever it was she was looking for.
I asked, looking worried, "Doc, you looking for something?"
"Oh, it's a book I borrowed from my fiancé...ex....my ex-fiancé. I have to return it to him," she answered without looking back at me.
Angela has dated a lot of men, especially a woman her age. However, this is none of my business. I'm sure her parents will be nagging her mercilessly to marry. In Nigeria, things were like that. If you are single, especially if you are female, and especially if you are as old as Angela, you are a big loser, and that made her a big loser.
"Wait, you broke up with Anthony? I kinda liked the guy," I replied, flashing a small grin. I know I shouldn't have done that. Angela made a sharp turn to face me and gave me a stern stare. My impish grin quickly vanished. She was upset with me because I had never met any of her boyfriends and Anthony was a fake. What can I do, even though it was a poor sense of humor? I've already spit it out. She frowned and pointed directly at the hospital bed that was in the room's corner. I knew what that meant, so I simply walked over to the bed and lay down.
"Hey, Doctor. Was this bed recently changed? It is more comfortable than the others," I was attempting to strike up a conversation, which I failed miserably at.
"Indeed, Adam. The director changed all the beds... five months ago," Angela emphasized the last words as she pulled out her stethoscope to examine me.
She drew her chair closer to me and sat with a stiff expression on her face. "Are there any aches and pains?"
I returned her smile as I sat up on the bed "Absolutely not. Nothing out of the ordinary you know....the usual."
Angela turned back to face me, "What's the usual, Adam? Please be more specific."
"You know, the fatigue, nausea..."
"Of course," Angela said as she took the aneroid monitor from the small steel drawer beside the bed. She aggressively grabbed my arm and returned an evil grin without making eye contact. She inserted two fingers between the bones in my wrist and the tendons that run over the radial artery on the thumb side of my wrist. She looked at her watch for a few seconds cautiously registering my pulse.
"OK, that's good," Angela said as she let go of my wrist.
"All right, relax," she said. I agreed, resting my left arm on the table across from me. She wrapped the cuffs around my upper arm, just above my biceps. She handed me a rubber ball, which I squeezed. She took my blood pressure and then removed the blood pressure cuffs.
"Okay, this is also good. Lie on your back."
"So... how is your ankle?" Angela asked as I lay down on the bed. "Oh, it's fantastic. The drugs took effect quickly," I responded with a broad grin. I wasn't the kind of guy who takes injuries on the battlefield but I managed to sprain my ankle just by fixing the network cable. Angela assisted me with a few treatments. Because I was a covert agent, I wasn't supposed to report to any hospital. Besides, I had a doctor who would treat any ailment I had for free. Angela drew my shirt up and pressed the stethoscope against my chest. "Deep breath." I agreed, and she listened.
"Take a deep breath."
"Out," Angela said again, and I followed her rhythm for a few seconds before she yanked the stethoscope from my cloth.
"So, you're ready to go, but I need to give you some drugs first. So, before you leave, please get back to me."
Angela just shifted her gaze away from me after she was done speaking. Sometimes, I could be a jerk but I know when someone was in pain.
"Hey," I said softly, and she returned her gaze to mine.
"I'm sorry about... him?" I said. I was expecting her to say his name.
"Andrew. His name is Andrew," she said finally, forcing a smile.
"Damn, Andrew. I was almost there. Andrew, Anthony."
"He just wasn't the one," I said solemnly as I returned to her. "You'll find someone who makes you happy, I promise. You are incredible, so his decision to leave you was a mistake."
"I broke up with him," Angela said, her brow furrowed.
"Oh....okay. I suppose he earned it. So don't be concerned," I said, trying to maintain eye contact, but she just stared downward.
"He certainly deserved it." "I just need to give him the fucking book back," Angela replied, her voice venomous.
"You know what? Why don't we burn the book? It might make you feel better...it might give you closure, "I wasn't sure she'd agree.
"Yeahhhh. That is a great idea. He can shove it up his ass."
I was surprised she agreed to that.
"Just get ready to set that book on fire. We're going to turn that book into asses once I get back," I said as I jumped out of bed.
"First, I need to find that book," Angela said, frowning slightly as she returned her gaze to the shelf.
I didn't even tell her I was leaving because she appeared to be more concerned with finding the book. As I walked outside her office, I opened the door and rolled up my sleeves. I was now on my way to see Dr. Khalif Mariam. Another incredible woman I had the pleasure of working with. She was the institute's psychiatrist. The goal was to ensure that everyone in the institute, particularly the field agents, was in the right frame of mind. Because living a double life was difficult, the covert operatives were given more attention. I used to enjoy going to see Mariam and having that wonderful session with her, but not anymore. Don't misunderstand me. I adore Mariam as a person, but it was her job that made me sick. I was able to talk to her freely before, but not really now.
I didn't have to go upstairs because her office was on the same floor. I could see her through the transparent glass of her office door. She was reading a book as usual, completely unaware of my presence. I tried to open the glass door but it was locked, so I knocked. She set down the book and rose to her feet to approach me.
"Adam," Mariam said, smiling as she opened the glass door.
"Mariam, hello," I said, smiling and avoiding eye contact. She could read people just by looking them in the eyes. To get into the specifics, she completed her studies in Canada. She had completed all of her studies to the doctorate level, obviously in psychology, and she was only 34 years old when she was hired by the former director, Abdul Sahir.
"Please come in."
I responded to her request by sitting on the couch near the office's corner and looking sideways. She drew the curtains to avoid interfering with the evaluation.
"How are you?" Mariam asked, her eyes welling up as she returned to her desk to retrieve her writing materials.
"I'm fine, how about you?"
"Oh, I'm fantastic. I recently finished the most recent edition of Kawaki's Peace of Mind. Have you finished reading yours?" Mariam asked.
"Uhmmm...no. I haven't even begun yet. Nene carried it to school with her."
So, if I haven't already told you, Nene is my girlfriend. So, the last time I was here, I had a strictly professional argument with Mariam, and she suggested a book for me that she had on her shelf. She didn't hesitate to hand it over to me. It was, however, the oldest edition. I didn't even take the book home with me. I just tossed it into my locker at the institute.
"It's something you should read. It's truly fascinating," she said, pulling the chair closer to the table with a dimpled grin on her face.
"I'll give it a try." So, what are we up to today?" I was eager to get this done. I wish I hadn't said it with such zeal; maybe I wouldn't have gotten my head twisted.
"Well, first and foremost, tell me how you're doing."
"I am fantastic," I said sarcastically. Really great.
"And how was the mission?" Mariam pushed harder.
"Well, you know, the usual. There are bad guys to be eliminated, and I am the guy for the job, as always," I responded, forcing a smile on my face that I later realized was too fake. It didn't hold up. Mariam immediately scribbled something on her notepad. Every time we spoke, I would pay a billion dollars to know what she was writing in the book. Only the directors know which annoys me the most.
"Be specific, Adam," Mariam said, returning her gleaming gaze to mine.
"Well, to be more specific, it was a local job..." And now we begin. Everything I did and how I did it must be explained to me. Fortunately for me, there was not much to say.
"It wasn't an international mission; it was a local one. Uhmmm... a youth leader was extorting money and was also extremely corrupt. He assassinated the majority of his opponents. So I was to eliminate him....well, I did eventually."
I wasn't sure how that sounded to Mariam, but it didn't sound too good to me. I simply avoided making eye contact with Mariam. I had placed a greater emphasis on elimination, which I'm sure meant something to Mariam.
"So he's dead, right?" Mariam inquired, raising her glasses.
"It's as cold as ice." I couldn't see my face, but my expression was not giving Mariam anything to go on. "So, what would you do differently on your mission?"
"Well, not that my opinion matters, but..."
"Who said your opinion didn't matter? What made you think that? I should say", Mariam abruptly cut me off after hearing what I had just said. Her pupils dilated unexpectedly. That was stupid of me. When talking to a psychologist, every word counts, so I should have chosen my words carefully.
"Well, I'm a soldier, and soldiers are supposed to do what they're told. Your thoughts and feelings are yours and yours alone. So..."
That sentence didn't end well. I knew because of the way she returned my stare. That meant continuing. "Well, I don't get to do what I want when I want or how I want," I explained, "especially one for which I have spent my entire life training. It wasn't always like this. We were trusted to do our jobs instinctively, but that's no longer the case."
"How so?"
"Even if I explained it day and night, you wouldn't understand. It was just how we were taught, but now our opinion isn't worth much," I replied solemnly. I, too, heard it, as did Mariam. She didn't go any further.
She took a deep breath and fixed her gaze on me before continuing, "Have you any regrets?"
I scoffed to myself. Not that Mariam wasn't aware of it. I was certain she did, but who cares? I could feel my facial muscles tense up.
"Do I have any regrets?" I repeated what she said with a dead stare as if I expected her to respond to that question. "I believe that will be answered after all of this charade of justice that we have going on."
Charade of justice was a pretty strong word to use. I didn't know where I pulled that out of but if I was a magician, which I am not that would be like pulling an elephant out of a hat. Mariam couldn't help but smile as well. It was hilarious of me to use such terms.
"So you mean it's not worth it?" Mariam continued.
"Maybe you should ask me that question years from now. Right now, I am doing what I have to, just like a soldier," I replied her forcing a fake smile.
"Okay, then, let's move on from there. How do you balance your personal and professional lives?" Mariam inquired.
"I'm making an effort. Lying doesn't get easier. The more I tell, the more difficult it becomes," I sounded more at ease as I tried to release the tension I was feeling earlier. Talking about Nene calms my nerves in ways I can't explain. Mariam continued after writing something in her notebook once more.
"And finally, if you could eliminate one weakness or limitation in your life, what would it be?"
"You already know the answer to that question," I said, my face a little frowning. I could spend the rest of the day answering that question, but I needed to save her the trouble.
"Of course, I do," Mariam replied with a smile on her face.
Just then, a knock was heard on the door of Mariam's office.
"Come in," she said.
The door opened, and I was relieved to see who had entered Mariam's office. It was Mrs. Selma, the assistant director. In that building, she was my favorite person. She was everybody's favorite.
"Adam," Selma said a beautiful smile on her face. That smile always makes my heart melt.
"Mrs. Selma...hi," I said as if I were a cute little puppy.
"I hope I'm not bothering you," Selma said.
"No, we're almost done here," Mariam replied, smiling as well. We were all smiling at this point. That was the amazing Mrs. Selma's influence.
"How are things going?" Selma asked me a question.
"I'm fantastic. How are you doing?" Mrs. Selma just smiled back and that said it all. Of course, she was fine. If she wasn't, it would have been hard to keep up with that happy face.
"Well, I just wanted to let you know that the director would like to see you when you're finished, okay?" Selma stated.
"Okay, I'll be there," I said simply, smiling. That didn't make me happy. As she was about to leave the office, she returned our smile. She then turned around, as if she remembered something.
"And Adam?" she asked, turning to face me.
"Uhmmmmm," I muttered.
"Behave yourself," she said solemnly. I understand what she's saying, and Mariam does as well. These people are aware that I dislike the director. We never got along with him as well as the other agents did.
"Of course, ma'am," I replied, emphasizing the last word heavily. Mrs. Selma smiled and walked out of the office.
"What went wrong this time?" Mariam inquired as soon as Mrs. Selma closed the door.
"I disagreed with the control center during my mission," I explained as Mariam rose from her seat.
"Of course you did," she sneered as she approached her desk.
"You'd better get going. You don't want to make him wait," Mariam explained.
"Yeahhh...okay then," I got up from my seat and walked to the door. I was about to open the door when I realized I needed to ask a question. "Mariam?" She returned her gaze to mine.
"Do you send the director all of those reports?" It was a stupid question, but I needed to know the answer.
She said with a smile, "I'm here to assist you, not him. You have always been my top priority."
As I walked out of her office, I smiled. That was nice to hear, but I'm not sure if she was telling the truth. I was on my way to the director's office, which was eight stories up. So I went straight for the elevator, and this time I was the only one in there, so I had that period all to myself. I didn't want to see the director, but I didn't have a choice any longer. The elevator door slid open less than two minutes later. Straight ahead was the director's office, which you can see inside. I wasn't a fan of knocking on the director's door, so I just opened it. The director was on the phone, his back to me, looking out the large window in his office. He was completely unaware of my presence.
I thought I heard him say something on the phone. He stated, "Don't be concerned. The issue has been resolved. You may proceed with your plans... Then I decided to knock on the door, drawing his attention to where I was. He quickly returned his gaze to mine. He was still on the phone when he motioned for me to take a seat.
"Uh oh...yeah....all right then. Okay, I'll talk to you later," Yemi said as he hung up the phone and set it on his table.
"Adam...hi," Yemi said as soon as he put down his phone. "It's great to have you back. How did you find your evaluation?" As he walked to his office's mini-fridge, Yemi inquired.
"It was great, thanks," I replied with a blank stare.
Before turning to face me, the director took out a pack of juice and two glass cups. "Would you like one?"
"Oh no....I'm fine," I replied, squinting.
"Alright," Yemi said as he replaced the cup in the fridge. "Good job yesterday," he continued. You did an excellent job with that."
"Sure, thanks."
"So... I heard you had another argument with the control center," Yemi finally revealed the reason for my summon. I scowled at him. It was already becoming a habit, so I was surprised when he inquired about it. Besides, he was the director, so he would have been given the full report, so he knows exactly what happened.
"We need to talk about your attitude. This is completely unacceptable for an agent of your caliber," Yemi said as he sipped from his glass cup. I returned his frown without saying anything.
"So... Would you like to explain why you sounded so angry?"
"I'm just grateful to be alive," I retorted angrily.
"They are there to assist you, as I have stated numerous times. If you require assistance, we rely on them to make our jobs easier... and your job easier."
I frowned, "And every time I expect them to deliver, they fail miserably. I was almost killed there because of the damn inconsistency of the information. It was so much easier when your toys weren't telling me what to do." I must have struck a nerve because the director's expression said it all. If given the opportunity, he could take my head off.
He scowled "What about my toys? I did not bring them in. What exactly do you expect me to tell your superiors... our superiors? Huh?! That one of my men will not listen to the information provided by the support center?"
"Tell them whatever you want. I expect those clueless nutjobs in front of a computer screen to have my back when I go into the field."
"Those nutjobs are your damn coworkers, and they've had the backs of every other agent in this institute! Yours always comes with a lot of trouble," Yemi retorted.
"There's a war out there, and only the one who fights better wins! I fight better alone than with someone who has no idea what I'm doing." I was turning this into a competition, and Yemi was having none of it. He was completely enraged.
"I think it's about time you were put in your place," Yemi raged. You're a damn soldier! When ordered to do something, you fucking comply!"
"I understand that expendables are all we are to you! You should just give me a chance to survive out there because I'm not going to make it with those shitheads!"
"I don't care how you get by. All I ask is that you stop questioning what the support center is doing. If they make a mistake, correct them rather than making them feel like they're not worth anything in here," Yemi screamed angrily.
"Yeah...you're not worth shit in here. You threw out the real ones and act as if you know everything. You have no idea what you're doing here. Just another jerk like the others," I retaliated with a spit.
"That's it. You have been relieved of all duties until further notice. You require more time to clear your mind."
Yemi gets up from his seat, opens the door to his office, and motions me out. I stormed out, furious. As I passed Selma, she shook her head, and she just looked away as I approached the elevator.
I wanted to ask Yemi about a couple of things that didn't make sense based on the information I had received about this mission. Unfortunately, he would have dismissed it as a mistake, which I would not have wanted. I, on the other hand, had my own methods of gathering information in a more covert manner.
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Aftermath: Inception 
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