Chapter 5 Five

The following day I expected her to say something concerning the vegetable soup and pounded yam that I ate but she said nothing. The truth was I didn't even give her space to say a word. I woke up before her, had my bath and brushed, dressed and even had my coffee but she was still asleep or maybe she chose to remain in the room. I went to work without hearing her voice or seeing her awake face and I was grateful but when I got back, she did not bring up the soup talk, she did not tell me welcome as before and she fixed her eyes on the television like she did not notice I had arrived.

Her attitude bothered me, I thought I would get free food again but she left nothing in the pots and in fact, my kitchen was extraordinarily sparkling in neatness. I had to eat junk to bed that night but still, I was offended. Things got on like that, I barely heard her voice, barely saw her move, she was always asleep when I left and sitting on the couch with her eyes on the television when i came back, then she'd make her way to the end of the bed when I freshened up in the bathroom. It later dawned on me that she was working on my terms so I tried to feel satisfied with her attitude and tried to stop wishing she would say something to me.

Well it didn't go on for long. She started our deal on Wednesday and it lasted only few days. On Saturday, after returning from the gym, I planned on going no where. I had my bath and settled in the centre of my bed with my eyes on my laptop. I was working, thinking of new ideas, being creative with animations and I was eating apple along with other fruits I had gotten on my way back from the gym. I was having a good time in my cool aired room when she came out of the bathroom and turned off the air conditioner. When I noticed, I took my eyes away from my laptop screen and watched the woman who had started applying cream on her skin. She was sitting at the edge of the bed, at the down part while I sat up, relaxing with my back on a pillow. I wanted to ignore her trouble and trust God that she would be nice enough to turn it on before she left the room, but on the contrary I wanted to hear her voice, I needed a break from the deal.

"Why did you turn off my A.C?" I asked and waited for an answer but she hesitated. She paused applying her cream and sat well to see me clearly. I expected a comeback, something like a rebuke or just one of those off point thing women say but she did the opposite of all.

"I'm sorry" she said politely. "I don't want the air to make my skin dried before I apply my cream"

Not minding her polite way of answering, I found her reason for causing me inconvenience very silly and hilarious, in fact, I needed further explanation. I laughed shortly and was surprised she did not take it personal, she resumed work with her skin.

"Is it just you or are all women this foolish? I mean do all women make silly excuses for the stupid things they do?" I asked. I knew I was offending her but I liked it, I wanted to hear her speak.

"Your mother is a woman" she said then she stood up, her eyes were not on me and she didn't look offended. She covered her body cream and I thought she was done speaking from the way she hesitated. "You can ask her"

I liked her mode of answering me; it made me smile slightly, the attitude she was giving me was worth smiling for. She removed the thing like a fancy nylon bag from her head and started brushing the hair on her head in front of my mirror. I just sat there and watched her, forgetting the apple I was eating and what I had been working on. Next she took a pencil and started designing her scanty eye brows. When she was done, she opened a small red container and used her index to rub the surface then she rubbed her lip with her index and I just watched like I was seeing something I had never seen before. All she did interested me, I just sat back and watched her image in the mirror. What she applied on her lip made her lip shine sparingly, it was like she ate buns or something with much content of butter. I was too lost with my eyes on her lip that I did not notice her eyes were on me. I realised what I had done when I took my eyes away from her lip in delight and moved them to her eyes that were shockingly staring at me in anger. She was on a frown as she watched me from the mirror. Stupid me, I just turned my face quickly to my laptop that was sleeping and deceived myself that I had not been looking at her. When I thought she was still looking at me, I bit from my apple and kept my mouth busy with it but she won't take her face away so I turned to her image in the mirror and wondered what I owed her: an apology?

"Do you care for?" I asked jokingly, I was referring to the Apple. She only shook her head and stood up. Her shaking of head was not a negation, it was like she thought I was unbelievable. She took a purse with a long hand from her wardrobe and wore it across her body then she opened one bag and started transferring the items in the bag to the purse she was wearing. She wore a white big shirt and light blue gean trouser. Her purse was black. I watched her as she tied something black, like a small headtied round her full and long hair, causing the up side to look small, and the down side to look full. She suddenly bent down and brought out a light pink fancy slipper from somewhere at the foot of her wardrobe. How was I seeing all these things? Good answer, I was looking at her. I had been watching her all the while, absent mindedly and I did not realise until she somehow turned to my direction and caught me. This time, I did not know where to put my eyes, I just faced her surprised look.

"You're going out?" I quickly said.

"Exactly" she said and started searching for something in her purse. "Bye" she said and turned around to leave.

"Are you coming back?" I asked. I feared she would not come back. Maybe it was her plan to run away, or maybe she was fed up of me but she frowned and looked at me. She looked hurt, I think she got the wrong message.

"Do I really need to answer you?" She asked in hurt then she managed to hiss and left the room. I didn't know if it was a yes or a no so I found myself hurry after her just to be sure-believe me, i really had her time.

"Is that a yes or a no?" I asked the lady who was now drinking water from a cup- she was standing near the water dispenser. "Should I drive you?" I offered with thoughts that I could monitor her movement and she won't have to run away. Her method of looking at me was from confusion and maybe surprise.

"Because you're bored?" She asked.

"Maybe" I said "and I wanted to buy something from the supermarket later in the day but since you're going out now, I could just drive you"

"I'm not going to any supermarket" she said and dropped the cup. "And No, thank you. You can drive yourself"

I couldn't believe she turned me down. I thought my offer would've been a delight to her. I thought she would accept my offer of peace, that she would receive the offering with a smile, or maybe a hug like women do but she surprised me. She started walking away and I wanted to call her back but then I realised I couldn't because I had no idea what her name was. Yes, I had no idea. My mother had hidden her identity until the wedding and after the wedding, did I care to know? Well to me, it was not too late to know, I mean we were just six days old.

"Hey! What's your name?" I beckoned and she halted and turned to me in a gape.

"You don't know my name?" She tried to let out after much trials. "Really? That is the peak". I just stood there and waited for her to finally tell me what her name was and stop all the drama and guilt she was inflicting on me for not knowing her name. I wondered if she knew my name but then she answered me by saying.

" Femi" She called my name with her tiny voice. "Femi Kolawale" she said in full and I immediately felt this depressed feeling, it was as if a fat milipede was walking in my chest. After making me feel that way, she walked out on me in bitterness and I sighed in guilt when she left. I knew I had to keep the date, I knew I had to mark it as my most foolish day. I was sure in her eyes I was a shameful thing. I went to my room and laid on my bed, facing the ceiling, with time I started laughing at myself for all the acts of stupidity I portrayed in just one morning. I wouldn't have asked for her name right? I would've just continued like that, at least one day-provided we lived together, I would've surely known her name. I ignored it all and got back to my work and the apple I had been eating but just then my mother started calling. I had been ignoring her calls since Sunday but the thought of asking her what the lady's name was made me pick the call.

"Omo mi " she said. "Why have you not been picking my calls now? You left me worried and I did not have your wife's number earlier. I had to meet her mother to get her number and whenever I call her, she says you're not around" my mother complained. I was surprised that my mother had been calling her, I just hoped that she had not said any fowl thing about me to my mother. "Where had you been? How could you leave your wife all alone during your honeymoon? When I and your Father newly got married we never left each other and even when we were apart, we never missed our calls" I rolled my eyes. "We were like friends, we were like one, we were always glued to each other"

I knew I was in for trouble.

"We did everything together" she continued and I knew she was speaking dreamily. "He couldn't move without me"

"Wow" I muttered when she got quiet.

"So why did you leave your wife all alone?" she asked but I was silent, I was busy wishing my mother would call the name of the lady. "Where had you been going to? Don't tell me you went to work"

My mother knew me well.

"I did. We had big projects. It was the most inadequate time to say I want to be at home-idle with a strange woman I have never met before in my life" I shot my heart's content and my mother almost broke down.

"Don't you like her? I thought she would be the most perfect woman for you" she said.

"What were you thinking?" I asked. "Anyway what is her name?" I asked.

"What? You don't know her name?" My mother panicked and I rolled my eyes in impatience and sighed. "You don't know your wife's name"

"Are you going to tell me or not?" I asked in impatience and my mother continued ranting things I couldn't place.

"How have you two been living? Does this mean you two don't communicate? Femi please don't treat that lovely woman like that, she's been through a lot already" my mother pleaded and I imagined her watery eyes pleading with me but then I wondered what she had been through.

"What has she been through?" I asked in interest as I soared the internet with my laptop. My mother hesitated.

"Ask her" my mother said. "It would open up a conversation for the both of you"

I imagined a normal, hearty, sad conversation with her and shook my head in negation. It'd be really weird.

"Okay so what is her name?" I asked anyway.

"I think you should find that one out too"

"Seriously! Why did I pick your call?" I asked angrily and I was about cutting the call when she spoke.

"Joyce" my mother said. "Joyce Oghenevwede"

"What kind of a name is that?" I mocked

"Joyce Kolawale" my mother said. "That is her name now. So treat your wife properly" with that she cut the call. I frowned at my phone and scoffed then I kept it aside and continued my work.

*****************************

She came back late and I knew why but I wanted to know where she was coming from because she came back just the way she left-she bought nothing. It was just that her hair looked a bit scattered and her face was no longer bright like it was in the morning. I was in the kitchen when she came in, I was trying to fry potatoes and I was failing, many had burnt and the house was smoky, yes! I don't really know how to cook but I cook. I cook noodles well and I can grill fish and chicken. I can also follow recipes and prepare various things but frying is very hard.

When I heard the door, I wanted to lock myself inside the kitchen so she won't see my failure but I don't know how she appeared behind me and started surveying what I was doing like it was her kitchen. As she surveyed the things, I used the opportunity to notice her scattered hair and tired face. I looked deeply and I saw something like a swell by the side of her face. I wanted to make a comment but just then she made a "I have no hand in this/I really don't care" face and started walking away without saying a word to me.

"Joyce" I said and bit my lip as I anticipated her reaction. She turned to me with raised brows.

"How did you find out?" She asked with her eyes on me then her eyes drifted to the gas. "The potatoes won't work, just switch off the gas"

I wanted to claim possession of my gas and rebuke her for commanding me on my own property but that was not necessary. I had bigger things to address like where she was coming from, why her cheek bone had a swell and what was her story? Did I care? No I didn't, I was just trying to bring up a conversation and indirectly tell her it was okay to be at peace with me and that i was ready to break my rules so we can have a normal life. She watched me switch it off and then turned her attention to me.

"How did you find out?" She asked again. "Okay, I know. You went back to the wedding invitation"

"I never saw the invitation. My parent did everything, I only invited people with my mouth and provided the money"

"Wow" she looked disappointed. "So this whole thing was like they forced you"

"Didn't they force you too?"

"Yes they did, but I finally agreed. To me it looks like you were carried to the altar" she spat and I shrugged. "So how did you find out, from Souvenirs?"

"I don't know what they shared either" I confessed and I saw how much she despised me in her eyes.

"You're like a child" she said like she was sorry for me. "How could you not be aware of your own life?"

I scoffed in anger.

"You're not my life" I told her. "Neither was the wedding. To you it was your wedding, to me, it was an occasion where I was ridiculed. I stood in front of everyone to entertain them. Then with my money, I contributed to feed the hungry"

Her mouth fell and her eyes glittered under the kitchen light. Suddenly a tear dropped down and I wondered what I said wrong. Please what did I say wrong? I just shared my heart with her and she was crying. Was it of pity or hurt? She quickly cleaned her cheek with her hand and looked away from me.

"Then we need a divorce" she said. "Cause I don't know what I'm doing here. I didn't want to get married, I was own my own" as she spoke friends of the tears she had killed on her cheek started flowing down in riot. "I was assured that I'd love it here, with you. That you're a good man. They decieved me that it was a surprise when it was rather a camouflage to cover up how much you hated the whole thing, how much you were not interested"

I was dumbfounded. All she was saying was the truth...probably, but at that moment, I wanted to convince her that it was all a lie. I used to ignore these type of situations but I had no hiding place. She kept on crying in weakness, she had already covered her face with her hands. I had no choice, I saw myself keeping the perforated spoon down and walking close to her to help her. I held her hand and tried pulling it from her face but it was stupid of me to do that, she kept on crying and shielded her face even more like if I saw her face, she would die. I immediately drew her to myself and wrapped my hands around her with thoughts that maybe it'd help but she kept crying. I was supposed to change my pattern of consolation since the hug didn't work but I didn't, I felt like it was the right thing to do, I felt comfortable there and funny enough, her tears were no longer bothering me. After some minutes, she only sniffed and then I realised that the other day when I had seen her kneeling by the side of the bed, she was actually crying. I felt guilty. Why was I making her cry? Why was I being a thorn in her life? It hurt me that I didn't plan for it, neither did she and we just somehow ended up together and became a burden to ourselves. There was a better way out? There had to be a way out.

She stopped crying and removed her hand from her face then she disentangled herself from my hug and moved her eyes from my chest to my eyes, she watched them for a while and I wondered what she was thinking. I watched her and hoped she was okay, i was willing to hug her again if she was not fine. There was something warm and soft and unique about being there, it was not like hugging my mother. In my mother's arms I felt safe but with her, I felt like I was to save.

"So what do you think?" She asked throatily. "The divorce?"

I know what divorce means, I watch programs on the television. Divorce meant she'd leave me and I'd be free from all her drama but there was more to it. My workers, my friends, the questions, what would be my reason? And what about my mother, who accused me of being gay? A divorce would confirm it.

"Would it make you happy?" I asked her like she was the little sister I never had but had wished to have. Rather than answer, she folded her lips and her eyes were watery again then she nodded that divorcing me would make her happy. "How would you face the questions?" I asked, a little bit hurt. I thought that Maybe if she told me what I should tell people, the hurtful feeling would seize.

"On our wedding, everyone sensed something off. I heard rumors and I got texts, everyone wanted to know what was wrong with us. They won't be surprised" she said and I nodded but I thought about my mother and I realised I could actually tell her to let me be and continue with my non challant life style concerning marriage. So what to tell people was settled but there was s big lump somewhere in my chest. We agreed to get a lawyer and a divorce then she fried the potatoes properly and we ate in silence with thoughts in our hearts but with our eyes on the television.