Still on that thought, I suddenly lurched forward as my body jolted with the impact of someone bumping into me from behind. I quickly braced my hands on the table in front of me and steadied myself.
My jaw clenched as a heavy sense of deja vu descended upon me, making my body go so rigid and tight that it became a miracle I was still breathing fine.
The faint voice of someone apologizing to me slowly receded into the background while I forced myself to breathe steadily through my nose.
"Calm down, Vivi," I muttered to myself with a shaky voice, my eyes slowly squeezing shut. "It was a stranger. You are fine. You can sit here for the next one hour like every other sane person out here without losing your fucking mind."
As I'm still muttering this under my breath, a hand touched my shoulder and I nearly jumped out of my skin. Reacting instinctively, I jerked away from the contact and threw a wide-eyed panicked look over my shoulder.
Only to see that it was Tara.
Her eyes slowly widened and she immediately threw up her hands in surrender. "Whoa, whoa," she said, retreating a step back. "It's me."
My tense shoulders went lax and I slowly released the breath I was holding. "Oh, hey," I said softly, slightly thankful that I wouldn't have to raise my voice since I was sitting in a secluded corner of the club.
Tara furrowed her brows as she looked at me and then at my tight grip on the bottled water. "You okay?"
I swallowed quickly, released the bottle and then plastered a smile on my face. "Yeah, I'm good," I reassured her.
She cocked a brow. "You sure about that?" she inquired with a thick disbelieving tone.
I swiped my palm at the trail of sweat dotting my forehead and uncorked the cover of the bottle. "Yeah, it was just getting a little too hot in here," I answered her with a big smile and tipping the bottle back, I quickly downed water big enough to soothe my parched throat.
Placing the bottle back on the table, I took a long breath and tried calming my nerves before it escalated into an unmanageable paranoia.
Tara sighed aloud as she folded her arms under her boobs. "Is this about Mark and his new bimbo girlfriend?"
"How did you..." I began, momentarily stunned into speechlessness.
"Know that the asshole had dumped you for a fake as fuck bimbo who he probably cheated on you with the whole time?" she scoffed. "The bitch dropped by one day at the spa and practically bragged that she was now fucking your ex- boyfriend."
I winced. "That sounded... eventful."
Tara rolled her eyes and dropped into the empty chair beside mine. "It was more like a disaster waiting to explode. If not for the customer that I was tending to, I would have slapped some dignity and sense into her empty skull."
I cracked a tiny smile thoroughly aware of what Tara is capable of doing. "And you would have probably burn down my spa with her in it," I said and it wasn't a joke.
Reaching over, Tara placed her hand on mine. "Are you really sure you're okay?" she inquired with a scrunched worried brow. "I mean you and Mark..."
My throat closed up as the incessant dull ache in my chest which I thought had disappeared with time began to throb all over again with a vengeance. I exhaled deeply and bit down hard on my lip. "I'd rather not talk about it," I intoned with a stiff voice.
Mark Simpson, my boyfriend up until last week, had been the ever perfect boyfriend that any girl would wish for -devoted, sweet and understanding. He had been the perfect man for me until he wasn't.
Tara hummed, her head bobbing in understanding.
I closed my eyes and fervently tried to maintain my composure but all to no avail. My hands were beginning to tremble uncontrollably and I was already having a difficult time breathing well.
When was the last time I took my medication? This afternoon? But who cares. I needed my control back.
Counting to ten in my head, I abruptly stood up and grabbed my clutch bag. "Umm, I think I need to visit the restroom or something," I announced, hoping that my movements weren't too frantic and probably hinting at the tremor overtaking my body.
Tara blinked, her eyes reflecting concern and confusion at the sudden change in my behavior. "Oh," she whispered. "It's around that corner." she gestured to a corner some metres away and I nodded.
"Thanks."
"Wait, maybe I should go with you incase-"
"I'll be fine," I bit out more forcefully than I intended and she flinched.
Fuck!
Calm the fuck down, Vivi. It's just Tara.
I briefly closed my eyes and on opening them, I said with a much softer voice, "I will be fine, Tara. Don't worry about me."
Tara nodded wordlessly and I heaved a sigh of relief. I needed to get away from here before I ended up doing more than lashing out at my manager.
Without another word, I turned and walked towards the area she pointed out. As I stood in the middle of the pulsating crowd, the thumping bass reverberated through my chest, suffocating me in a dizzying cacophony of sound. Beads of perspiration trickled down my temples, and the air felt stifling, constricting my lungs as if it were a vice grip.
With trembling hands, I elbowed my way through the throng, stinging gazes boring into me with every passing step. The harsh, flashing lights seemed to mock my faltering resolve but I desperately clung to the hope that the restroom would offer respite from the suffocating grip of the club, a sanctuary where I could regain control over my spiraling emotions.
I stumbled through the dim corridor and then through the restroom door which beckoned like a beacon of deliverance. I pushed it open, the sudden relief of silence washing over me like a soothing balm. The pristine white tiles gleamed under the soft glow of the fluorescent lights, casting an ethereal sheen over the spacious, elegant restroom. The acrid scent of disinfectant hung in the air, mingling with the delicate hint of jasmine from the hand soap, a stark contrast to the raucous chaos just beyond the door.
The immaculate marble countertops and gleaming mirrors cast my haggard reflection back at me, a stark reminder of the turmoil that still gripped me. I steadied my quivering breaths, striving to regain control over the tumultuous tempest raging within me.
I shoved my hand into my bag and searched around inside it for the weight of my pillbox just only for me to come up with nothing.
"Fuck!" I hissed under my breath as another wave of panic swept through me. Seems like I had forgotten to retrieve it from my desk back at the office.
My gaze fell down to my hands which were now shaking very badly at this point. Fuck! I needed to leave. Now.
Snatching up my bag, I hurried to the door and yanked it open.
"You can do this, Vivi," I whispered to myself encouragingly but the words of affirmation did nothing to quell the fear and uncertainty taking root in the pits of my stomach.
I exhaled, ducked my head and then began to walk in the direction of the back door which was much nearer to the restroom. Just as I approached my corner of escape, I bumped into someone or something and distinctly heard a lady releasing a string of curse words.
"What. The. Fuck!" the lady shrieked at the top of her lungs and I subtly winced at the piercing intensity of her voice.
"I'm so sorry," I apologized earnestly without looking up, all the while praying the lady wouldn't raise an issue and I could be on my way.
Just as I made to resume my exit, a hand dropped on my shoulder and held me in place.
"Nuh-uh, you're not getting off that easily," a different voice chipped in.
My fingers curled around my bag in frustration. I really didn't have the time to chit chat right now, and just as I opened my mouth to tell the ladies so...
"Enne?" Another new feminine voice called out and I froze.
Only one person has ever called me that but the last time I had seen that person was when he was confidently telling me that the reason he cheated on me was because I was just... me.
Raising my head, I squinted, trying to make out the woman in the dim lighting.
"I'm sorry but who..."
"It's actually you, isn't it," the woman continued, then snorted. "Who would have thought that the great Vivienne Reynolds would someday be sighted in a club that she supposedly hated."
I instinctively drew back a little at her sentence. This strange woman not only knows my name but she knew about my phobia for clubs. That certainly wasn't a good sign whatsoever.
I took another step back, my brows slightly drawing in confusion. "Who are you?" I managed to say, my eyes now fixated on the said woman.
As if on cue, the lights in the corridor came on a little brighter and I quickly made a visual note of the three women standing in front me.
My squinted gaze narrowed on the lady who called me by name. She was slender, with dark lengthy hair, pouty lips probably injected with fillers, a red extra mini dress which came to a stop metres below her ass, her eyes swathed with fake lashes and her overall loud and vain personality all helped me arrive at one conclusion.
This was my replacement.
Mark's new girlfriend.
"Wait, what?" she sputtered out in disbelief. "You don't know who I am?"
"Am I supposed to?" I cocked my head to the side trying to figure out if she's a celebrity and I didn't notice.
" Leigh, who is she?" The lackey by her left asked.
Ah! So her name is Leigh.
Leigh's eyes darkened with something akin to frustration or was it rage. "Bullshit," she spat. "Mark would've told you about me."
Oh, great, she's also a chronic attention seeker. I mentally toned down the urge to push her out of my way and instead crossed my arms over my chest. "He did," I said. "But I just don't care."
It must have been the way I offhandedly brushed her off because almost immediately, her lips thinned into a pissed off flat line. "You didn't care that your boyfriend had been cheating on you and eventually left you for me."
I shrugged. "I have other pressing things to attend to other than caring about a cheating ex." I sighed, already getting tired of this chat.
Leigh stared at me for some seconds before she chuckled dryly. She took some steps forward until we were standing almost head to head. "Or maybe you were busy shoving pills down your throat to help curb your anxiety." She then drew back with a tiny, vicious satisfied smile playing at the corner of her lips.
I visibly flinched as my stomach dropped.
No. No, Mark wouldn't have told this vixen about my struggle with severe anxiety and panic attacks but as I took a look at the cackling witch in front of me, I came to know that yeah, Mark told her.
The intense familiar feeling of crippling betrayal and disappointment began to emanate from somewhere deep inside of me and it took every strength in me not to fall to the ground in a heap.
I stumbled a step back in shock as the world around me began to blur out, a hazy fog settling over my senses.
Still not done, Leigh tsked with disdain. "Now I see why Mark cheated on you- who'd want a pathetic liability like you," she sneered, her friends cackling like hyenas.
I opened my mouth to lash back at them but I could already feel the fight seeping away from my body. I have already ignored the panic attacks for far too long and it was already taking a toil on my system.
Finally deciding to ignore her, I shook my head as I felt a wave of dizziness wash over me. I staggered forward, my vision blurring, my head spinning. With a gasp, I stumbled, my legs finally giving way beneath me.
Just as I felt myself falling, a strong pair of arms caught me around the waist, preventing me from crashing to the ground.
"Whoa, whoa, easy there, sweetheart," a fruity masculine sonorous voice boomed beside me as the arms around my waist pulled me in closer to his broad chest.
I looked up but was unable to see my savior's face due to my blurry vision.
"Hey, are you okay? You look pale." he inquired, his voice low and soothing.
I managed a tiny nod before I dropped my head on his chest. Just then I caught a whiff of his scent which was a comforting mix of a rich, warm undertone of cedarwood and musk. I inhaled deeply, savoring every nuance of his captivating scent, and feeling an inexplicable sense of solace and security wrap around me.
"What do you girls think you are doing!" he barked out, sounding incredibly pissed. He must be referring to Leigh and her lackeys. "Who on earth bullies their fellow woman untill she passes out when it's clear she isn't feeling fine? Don't y'all have a sense of preservation or are y'all just naturally dumb."
I winced at the hostility oozing out from every part of his body. Fuck's sake, I just needed to get out from here.
Using the last ounce of strength in me, I lifted my head and he was immediately alert, his arms tightening and supporting my weight with ease.
"What's wrong? Talk to me." he was sounding way too worried for a stranger. My heart squeezed as a tear dribbled its way past my eyelid.
I brought my head closer to his and without any reason, I lightly brushed my lips against his.
"Help me... please," I whispered weakly against his lips as the world around me grew fuzzy and I slowly gave in to the darkness that had been lurking at the edges of my vision.
The last thing I remembered was the feeling of someone delicately lifting me into his arms and holding me close to his chest.
At that moment, I felt like I could trust this man with everything including my life.
Then, everything went black.